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Tuanda
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Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 51 | |
| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/22/2009 1:03:09 PM |
Actually the more I think about this..the whole idea is a copout...they dont want to risk being hurt...they dont want a true connection...keeping it light means that the bodies have disposible faces on them...use one until they start to whine about wanting more and then bring in the next
What you are saying is they want the good and happy times without the troubled times...they dont want to put any more energy into anything than they have to to get what they want out of it....and they are getting exactly what they deserve imo...they are validating themselves with a bunch of other people who just random use other bodies with no emotional connection...and each time they are with a new person they get more and more jaded...hey isnt this fun...btw what was your name? It is called meaningless sex for a reason..it is a hobby, entertainment and guess what to get off you need more and more and more until one day the person you wake up next to is someone you would have normally never been interested in but you decided to give it a try to see well...what it was like.....ewww is all i can say!
I still think Sapphire Eyes got it right. That is truly a heart felt Ewww!
I don't think she is describing every single man out there! I sure hope not!
But there are a fair number who would fit the bill.
I think she is right when she says it's a copout. Fear is the motivator. Even if you call it just not wanting to repeat the same mistakes. It's the men's version of wanting some kind of guarantee and since there is no guarantee they will just have sex and keep their emotions locked up safe and sound.
Jim978:
As afar as the walking wounded go...there's plenty of them out there:
MALE and FEMALE.
I am sure I was one of them for a while.
I have had coffee with quite a few and met them at singles dances (both men and women) and they can't wait to tell you their saga of how the Titanic went down....which is a clear sign they haven't dealt with anything.
Now if men start that in email or chat, I know they aren't really ready yet...at least not for me.
Personally, I have been divorced for 8 years, I have tried a few different approaches and have had one LTR since and have a different perspective. I know better now what works for me.
Aren't you the one who pointed out that the use of the term HAPPY on the fora is rather ironic?
I personally did some counselling after my divorce.
My counsellor told me that men are much less likely to go to counselling.
Now that doesn't mean ALL men.
He also said that in general men are also more likely to start something with someone new right away without having dealt with anything internal.
That doesn't mean ALL men either.
One man I dated was a prime example of that. He said he was on the rebound and started seeing a lady within weeks of moving out from his first marriage, she got pregnant right away and then he had another child...that he didn't really want.
They didn't last to say the least. He said that he was reacting ...not thinking at all.
I don't think he is alone in that. I think alot of people do things initially in reactive mode. But they aren't thinking clearly.
**Maybe I should have said I wish MORE men would get the idea about a women's heart and head first. I do try hard not to paint every man with the same brush.
Of course I believe there are men out there who have lived and learned and are ready to date and move forward the same as there are some women. Otherwise I wouldn't be here.
I don't think I said I disagreed with Bob. I was just decribing what I want.
But in my mind what I described is something leading to a LTR not happy pants for today!
I wouldn't have a problem with combining lives, houses etc. under the right circumstances though.
On the fora, there seem to be a lot of men who declare that they would never consider a LTR and there are a lot of women who declare they won't accept anything else.
I also think that these positions keep everyone exactly where they are. ... alone.
I also suspect if the right person was standing in front of them...there might be a little more compromise on both sides. Men willing to wait a bit and women wanting to jump their bones sooner. lol!
One problem with the fora is that no matter what you are thinking when you write it people take it as though you are writing absolutes! | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/22/2009 1:32:42 PM |
I've been reading a lot of threads lately that relate to players, quality of men, looks and similar subjects. The 2 I'll cite are "Men I meet look ancient" and "Older men expecting daugthers to find a prince". A lot of recrimination about attitudes and dating. People claiming most men are "players" and the like.
Welcome to POF forums Bob! But why be so singular in the nature of the threads you are focussing on? The snowball fight flows in both directions and I would think a fair-minded person would be observing the Hatfields and the McCoys with some amusement by now. For every thread that discusses men being players, there's another thread that discusses women being golddiggers. The only difference between them is the titles...
The Hatfields and McCoys don't wanna kill each other Bob... They just need to keep the muskets blasting because without all the noise of the shots being fired, the valley between them would fall silent... And silence means invisible, lost, gone, forgotten... The essence of every single person's worst nightmare.
Some of the other things I noticed is attitudes, blaming the other person for their unhappiness. I have to admit many men have a changed position on relationships. No matter what in many cases a guy comes out of a 12+ year marriage, he usually has kids and gets wacked with alimony, hence his once burned attitude about marriage. Women though have expressed the same thing, now looking for a relationship not necessarily marriage.
Alimony is rapidly becoming a thing of the past Bob. The only time it's being awarded now is when a spouse is suffering from a medical disability or in fact, when a spouse (usually, a husband) has condoned their wives staying home right throughout the marriage (long after the children of the marriage have started school).
The courts do attempt to equalize each person's situation at the end of a marriage but if we want to talk about accepting blame for the outcomes, I think you have to include the men who have ALLOWED women to stay home rather than to make the more reasonable agreement that once the children are in school, she will return to the workforce and he will assist her in advancing to where she would have been if not for her willingness to stay home with the kids.
Alimony is also no longer exclusive to men. Women also can be ordered to pay spousal support and this IS happening!
So what will the warcry be in years to come when both sides find out that their financial partnership MAY be lifelong and not just disposable at the will of one or the other?
There are sooo many of us who could walk around blaming and crying foul. What purpose does it serve? I think the idea is that when one has dug a hole for themselves, they REALLY need to STOP DIGGING!
Most guys I think now look for a woman to date, yes, have sex with and see where it goes.
Whew... unvarnished truth isn't really all that pretty is it Bob??? 
What you appear to be saying is that most guys are still looking for a woman who will be responsive to their needs for as long as they can keep up the facade of actually caring about her... for whatever length of time. The fact is, such a guy is there for him and there's really no, "now" about it... People have been looking for whoever serves their needs in a relationship since time began.
So let's cut to the chase and dispense with all them purty words. The relationship between men and women is one of usery. The one who gets most of their needs met, wins!
Blah! That kinda throws us hopeless romantics into an icebath but hey... once we've passed 45, maybe it's just time to accept it, deal with it and get on with our lives... Unless of course, the silence is getting to you...Then by all means, fire off a few shots to see if anyone responds. | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/22/2009 4:34:15 PM | Oh Silken Fire, welcome to my little corner of the world! I guess it's the romantic in me that would hope for understanding on both sides. To use your discription, I was more thinking along the lines of Hatcoys and Mcfields, kind of a blending of the 2 positions, if you will.
As for the noise of shots in the valley, I'd rather the quiet, better still no guns at all. Although that would be another thread, and one I know where my position would be very unpopular with the mountain, hunting set.
As to alimony, while this is a sacred cow, of men when citing the fairness or lack there of in the system, I understand what you are saying. Yes it is less than years ago during my divorce, yes women pay it too. The numbers I'm sure, still hit men harder, don't have to read too many threads to find that. Lest we forget the main argument of feminists, women don't make as much as a man for the same job. I also believe there are very few unequal relationships the other way. Men WILL and do marry women who make less and have less education, many women will not even date down, much less marry. So how many women get hit with alimony will pale by comparison. Still as you say, an understanding should be reached that she will take back up her career after the kids are a certain age. Although my personal experience was that the agreement was not enforcable, oh well live and learn.
As to what I am saying is that I have noticed lately a trend to keep it light. This is where a guy explains what he is looking for, lays out his ideas, then says "is that OK with you"? No fairy tales, no lies, just how far he is willing to go. Leaving things open ended on the back end. As others said 6 days, 6 months, 6 years or........ Some ladies agree, some think it stinks. As for me, I'm happy to continue the way I am. I think I have found the right one, if it turns out that way, I'll be happy to commit, but then again as has been pointed out to me ad naseum, I am an old dinosaur and not hip to the current workings of relationships.
So I guess in closing I should hasten to add, your end of post statement is true. "That kinda throws us hopless romantics into an icebath". Yeah but I don't like the shrinkage effect in the cold water, Bob. | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/22/2009 4:43:32 PM | | I date to have fun, companionship and sex, not necessarily in that order. Unless a man is ready to get married for any number of reasons or falls head over heels in love with a particular woman he usually enjoys the variety of dating several women or serial monogamy and not being tied down to one woman for the rest of his life. When a man chooses to get married he asks himself "Is this woman worth giving up the future string of women I can have in my life if I do not get married to her?" If the answer is "yes" he gets married. If it is "no", he moves on to the next woman because for most men variety is the spice of life. | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/22/2009 4:55:26 PM |
When a man chooses to get married he asks himself "Is this woman worth giving up the future string of women I can have in my life if I do not get married to her?" If the answer is "yes" he gets married. If it is "no", he moves on to the next woman because for most men variety is the spice of life.
And to think a man said that but I got hate mail today for my bashing on men lmao
thanks for the honesty Desert Dan.
But do guys realize that that string of women that they are *doing is being *done by all the other men with strings? Yall are just rotating women...ewww | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/22/2009 5:03:32 PM | Oh Silken Fire, welcome to my little corner of the world! I guess it's the romantic in me that would hope for understanding on both sides. To use your discription, I was more thinking along the lines of Hatcoys and Mcfields, kind of a blending of the 2 positions, if you will.
Where is that damn Wish Fairy when we need her hey???
The numbers I'm sure, still hit men harder, don't have to read too many threads to find that.
I agree that the bulk of spousal support awards are still being claimed by women and in my time of working in family law, I've seen some horrible manipulations of the system so please don't think I don't have sympathy. I have a bucketful! Most of these really unjust awards were made for marriages that began at a time when women didn't have the career opportunities they have now. The Divorce Act here in Canada was revamped in about 1985 to require that both spouses be obligated to make every effort to be self-supporting. Now... I have to say that I see a number of women playing with the medical disability stuff and it sickens me but I also see in many, many cases where amiable spouses really are fair with one another. We don't get to read much about these cases. We are at the tail end of a very transitional time in family law and much still rests on some rather elderly, conservative judges. I see this changing and that is good.
As to what I am saying is that I have noticed lately a trend to keep it light. This is where a guy explains what he is looking for, lays out his ideas, then says "is that OK with you"? No fairy tales, no lies, just how far he is willing to go. Leaving things open ended on the back end. As others said 6 days, 6 months, 6 years or........ Some ladies agree, some think it stinks.
I am a lady who would be pleased with any man "laying it out" precisely the way he wants things to be because I am also given to being very upfront about what I want, what I don't want and what I will compromise with. What I vehemently object to is manipulation, deceit and double-standards. If we could just get rid of some of that, we could declare "progress" in this area for everyone.
Yeah but I don't like the shrinkage effect in the cold water,
I can see why THIS might be a concern to you...  I can only suggest that you try to stay in the shallow end.  | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/22/2009 6:21:15 PM | Well I did skip around a bit and didn't read every line from every entry, so please forgive me if someone has already gone here, but....
First of all Commitment? Why does everything have to have an agenda? It's not about commiting to support me in my career. Let's face it, at this rate that could be gone tomorrow. It's not about committing to be good to my children. That's a no brainer and automatically a deal breaker anyway. Besides what happens after the kids are grow and gone. It's not about commiting to be faithful. Once again should be able to assume that, and yes, the ultimate deal breaker. Commitment isn't about specifics or one liners. It's about finding someone that makes you feel like you can't imagine not having them in your life, and knowing you'd do anything to make their life happy. You've already made the commitment to yourself of wanting that and working towards that before you express it to that person. Feer of commitment is usually a feer of being happy. Let's face it, if a guy admits he's happy with one woman, that search and gather, fight and conquer, get all you can while you can thing is a mute point. But as a hopeless romantic, even though burned many times, I still have to beleive that it's about timing and chemistry. I have to believe that the right person can actually make the fear in a man the mute point. Because he sees so much more in that one woman, then he could ever count up in all the other women combined. Of course it goes both ways. I admit to being a tad jaded myself, but I certainly welcome that one person to come along and prove the point I just described.  | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/22/2009 6:53:16 PM | jim978:
I would like to meet a man, spend time getting to know him by him doing a variety of things including sex and hopefully have enough fun and common interest or goals to let it naturally continue. Then take it to the next level..living together or even marriage if we feel like that would be desireable at that time. How is this any different from the men Bob described in his opening post? To me it looks like the same thing.
I picked-up on that too.
I also took the OP to be saying the same thing, albeit different phrasing. Funny thing is, he took the ass chewing.
Either way you say it, I agree.
I thinks it's best to be one's self and let things flow naturally. If it isn't feeling natural, chances are it ain't gonna last. If there are a lot of problems in the beginning, again, the prospects for a LTR aren't good.
Goals and interests should be similar in nature (I assume from the beginning, otherwise why meet?), but it takes time to figure out how those things mesh with each other's lifestyle/daily schedule.
Sex? That should come naturally as well. When both are feeling comfortable with the notion. Personally, and I bet I'm not alone, I have found having sex too soon often results in putting on blinders (sp? - things horses wear) to other realistic compatibilities, or lack there of, neccesary for a LTR.
It simply takes time to find out if two are compatible. And, they may only be compatible for a limited time, but ya gotta enjoy the sunny days while you got'em and find other interests for the rainy days.
Mutual respect, communication, honesty, and interests are keystones to a relationship, but there is no gaurentee they're going to last for ever and ever. Or, it might be a fascade you clue into later on down the line.
I say keep it light until it's time to get heavy. When two are compatible, it usually means they are also on a similar time schedule, i.e. - togather, they decided it's time to get serious.
just a few thoughts | |
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Jim978
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Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 59 | |
| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/23/2009 4:17:48 AM |
First of all Commitment? Why does everything have to have an agenda? It's not about commiting to support me in my career. Let's face it, at this rate that could be gone tomorrow. It's not about committing to be good to my children. That's a no brainer and automatically a deal breaker anyway. Besides what happens after the kids are grow and gone. It's not about commiting to be faithful. Once again should be able to assume that, and yes, the ultimate deal breaker. Commitment isn't about specifics or one liners. It's about finding someone that makes you feel like you can't imagine not having them in your life, and knowing you'd do anything to make their life happy. You've already made the commitment to yourself of wanting that and working towards that before you express it to that person. Feer of commitment is usually a feer of being happy.
Well, first of all, allow me to thank you for being the 1st woman in these forums to actually step up and attempt to clarify what is and what isn't "commitment".
Now, I'm not picking on you here but this is.... well, silly. Don't get me wrong. It's a lovely concept but it fails on every level beyond that. The idea that "It's about finding someone that makes you feel like you can't imagine not having them in your life, and knowing you'd do anything to make their life happy." is a bit like the old court ruling about pornography where they refused to define it but said "We'll know it when we see it!". You've outlined a conceptual state without any boundries or markers for anyone else to be able to determine when they have reached them or fallen short of them. "Hey! Today's she's happy so I must be "committed". Gee, I hope she's still happy tomorrow..."
Fear of that sort of "commitment" isn't a fear of being happy. It's a fear of being hit in the face with a shovel tomorrow morning for doing the exact same thing you've been doing for the last 3 years without complaint.
If commitment is "about finding someone that makes you feel..." then all of the complaints about men not being willing to commit is a charade. The issue there isn't "men not being able/willing to commit". It's that the woman has failed in her search to "find"... | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/23/2009 6:20:07 AM | The whining is from lack of sex
Or if they get it on a regular basis, they then find out their partner is wack-a-doodle, or has some major personality flaw/disorder that makes the cost of the sex way too high
I guess it all depends on who is doing the whining. lol. Personally, I can't deal with whiners. If you are not getting what you want from a relationship, do something about it. We all have choices. Communication is the key. If the other person is not stepping up to the plate, that says a lot. I am not one who needs someone so bad that I am willing to do all of the work myself. I will put in my share, but be real. If you are with someone who is not putting anything into it, it is probably time to move on. JMO | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/23/2009 10:38:51 AM | I think part of the issue is women want men to love them the way they want to be loved vs accepting what the man is offering... that is one issue
The other issue is men who use the illusion of love to get in a woman's pants...they pretend they want a long term relationship when all they want is a bedmate for a bit.
The other is people arent honest about what they really want from themselves, they go into things and then when the person starts to remind them of the *bad part of relationships then they bail vs realizing there will always be a bad part of relationships, it takes communication and being open to it to resolve issues. | |
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Tuanda
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Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 62 | |
| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/23/2009 9:25:58 PM |
I think part of the issue is women want men to love them the way they want to be loved vs accepting what the man is offering... that is one issue
I have a question for the guys.
If I don't want to be bed-hopping and would like just one man in my life to sleep with...but men want to have a light relationship including sex and then see where it goes, how do I reconcile those two issues? | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/23/2009 9:36:21 PM | | There are plenty of men, not fish, who also want the one woman one bed no hopping thing of your dreams. You don't have to reconcile anything. You just get yourself a man who wants the same rules and regulations and then have yourselves a mutually satisfying relationship. | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/23/2009 9:57:52 PM |
I have a question for the guys.
If I don't want to be bed-hopping and would like just one man in my life to sleep with...but men want to have a light relationship including sex and then see where it goes, how do I reconcile those two issues?
Tuanda, you answered your own question in post #39:
What I would like hasn't changed much from when I first stared out.
I would like to meet a man, spend time getting to know him by him doing a variety of things including sex and hopefully have enough fun and common interest or goals to let it naturally continue. Then take it to the next level..living together or even marriage if we feel like that would be desireable at that time.
The difference between then and now is that I have learned a lot about how to better deal with the unexpected things life throws at you and I have grown up.
I hope I would be more mature in handling situations.
The only thing I would add is to ensure the object ot your affection is on the same page, i.e. communicate. Of course, even then there is no gaurantee.
just a thought
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/23/2009 11:05:24 PM |
The problem with women is they just want emotional satisfaction. If the man doesn't give it to them on the first date they move on to the next man. It's filthy and disgusting how some women treat men as no more than a source of emotional gratification, as if all a man is, is a heart they can tap for love when their need arises. We are more than that and deserve to be treated better. If all you want is love, hire a poet. A decent man is looking for a real woman who wants more than just his heart. We want a woman that gets it, who knows that before a man can enjoy affection he needs sex. It's not all about YOU!!!
humungo:
That is perfect. Bravo!
I've tried to say the same thing many times, but it always gets ignored: Women whine about being used for sex, but fail to see that they often use men for relationship.
I think your way of saying it is much better. I've been used by women for their emotional gratification far more times than I've ever used a woman for sex....
Cheers.
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Tuanda
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Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 66 | |
| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/24/2009 7:32:35 AM | Humungo and Levi ..thanks
I appreciate your comments.
I do know what I "would like".
But doing a lot of reading on the fora makes me wonder if what I want is unrealistic or unattainable and I have seen that question posed many times in different ways.
There are an awful lot of people here who say the "years" are passing.
I have been divorced and dating since 2000 and my years are passing too.
It seems there are alot who have reconciled themselves to being alone.
It also seems there are a lot of people who are choosing to focus on the now and what today brings and that is translating into short term, serial relationships.
I even heard something about that being the new trend on TV the other day.
I find myself wondering if I need a reality check.
I guess all any of us can do it is continue to date and hope we find that person who is on the same page. It is good to know they are out there. I just have to find them.
And as Humungo once pointed out...maybe I should spend more of my time out in the world doing someting more worthwhile than expounding endless theories (that do little more than kill time and add to people's confusion) on the internet.
Humungo...I think you speak many truths...I also think you were right about me......... I am way too positive in my outlook ..that might be my ultimate flaw.
I know I'm such a rookie!
Humungo...I will really miss your writing...one of the most enjoyable parts of all of the posts. You should do a book!
So I'm headed back to the real world! Toodles! | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/24/2009 8:33:55 AM | ^I'm in the real world.. gettin' things done... hittin' the Spring Bazaars and happenings going on around town this time of year.. off reading a book.. out sittin' in the sun.... gal friend visit yesterday.. went out for a meal..... eyeballing the men (lol).... etc. etc.
But I still pop into the forums on the way past my computer. It sits central in my apartment.. I can watch a movie, watch the woods out the picture window, do housework.. whatever.. and pop in here to participate in the forums.
It's a bit of an addiction.. lol... but it's a fun 'entertainment'...
and certainly doesn't mean I'm not still "out in the real world".
I think a lot of peole know just what I mean.
(just thought I'd throw all that in here, after the previous post) 
"Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?"
I think houses should be built with a HIS side, a HER side, and a WE middle.
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/24/2009 9:43:12 AM | I tell ya...... what I see here, way too much..... allmost predominantly, is this very unfortunate "War" going on between Men and Women. Its going on outside the forums too, of course, its just that a venue like the forums allows us to see it rather graphically. Like most wars, we can choose to build ever bigger and more destructive weapons and keep up the fight.... or, perhaps we could consider throwing down our weapons and take some time to see if we are really fighting about anything worthwhile>????
As long as we keep using our own very tiney personal experiences to "define" all this stuff.... we will probably Keep up the fight. We may have a few little satisfactions. Win a few battles. But, we will keep getting shot at, wounded or even killed. And that which we really desire will remain out there in the haze of the drifting gunsmoke.
I like to remember the BASICS. Do any of you actually think the Creator built Men and Women to be Enemies???? I certainly don't. If we find ourselves in a so-called 'modern progressive' world in which this seems to have become the case.... I would question that (new) wisdom. I think we have been fed a huge plate of crap! Especially in the last half of the 20th century.
Don't get me wrong: I'm grateful for women having been liberated and having access to their personal power. (allthough, in truth... this was always possible). I'm all for Equality. Of course! But, we have thrown out the baby with the bath water. The word is "Equality". That means Equal. The feminazis have attempted to get women to strive for something 'above' men. That will never work. Just like it didn't work when Men believed they were above women. If there isn't equality... then there will be war. Simple.
Everything we need to Know is in a good dance. For those of you who don't know how to dance. get your butts off the couch and go learn. It takes two. A leader and a follower. The rules have to be aggreed on or it won't work. No one is better than anyone else. When there is argument about who leads.... it doesn't work. Its just an ugly stumbling around... and no one is satisfied. When both parties follow the rules (the way we were created) there is a kind of graceful harmony and fluid motion that approaches the sublime. Its not much of a mystery to me.
As Dr. Phil says: " Do you want to be Right... or do you want to be Happy". | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 3/24/2009 12:21:43 PM | As I see it, this last page was best of all!!!! At last some good give and take.
One of the things about this site is the many views on what is right, when it really is what is right for me. If want to keep it light, great look for that. If you want to start light and see what happens, that's OK too. If you want the more traditional relationship where you start with the intention of getting the brass(or gold) ring, that's fine too.
Although the 2nd option could just as easily lead to the third, if the circumstances are right.
Pinebreeze made a good point, do you want to be righ..or do you want to be happy. Problem is instead of just looking on here for what suits us, we seem to be picking up pegs. We pick up the LTR peg and look to any(no pun intended) hole to put it in. Or the short term peg, or sex peg. Life is more fluid then that. Any peg can be anything at any time. Though we also need to be honest about it. If you seek short term sexual relationship, no problem, but don't put LTR on your profile, nor tell a wo/man that you are attracted too, but doesn't want what you do, just to try and get your way.
I guess it comes down to being honest about what you want, inspite of yourself. If 10 women you look at, that you attracted to, don't want what you do, fine. Write to them express honestly what you seek, if they will change their goal to go out with you fine, you won. If not just move on, don't decieve them, or you both lose, and so does everybody else because now they will not trust anyone.
Just some further thoughts, Bob. | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 4/3/2009 6:19:40 PM | I am new to this, but from what I am seeing, there is a lot of bull crap from both parties on here. One thing about men is you are right, they dont think about circumstances and very rarely wait before they start in a new relationship, some (OK all the men I have ever known) have. Specially the one who just walked out of my life as fast as he came into it. What really bothers me is you hear I dont want a woman with baggage, (kids) for god's sake that is a part of who she is, and I understand that some men dont want that, however, in my case, I had no idea after dating this man for 8 years that he wasnt into my kids until one day he just blurts it out. So why do men date women if they really do not want kids? Why should he have not been honest at first, granted we had a wonderful relationship and he really never mentioned the fact that he didnt want kids, he only wanted me, I have the kids, I have to take care of them, why do men expect most women to rid of thier baggage before they date! | |
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| Relationships and Women, hey guys what do you think?
Posted: 4/4/2009 6:24:40 PM | | My ex common-law summed it up quite simply. People keep chasing that first time high. That is why people flirt, they want to feel the high of being desired. When it wanes from the relationship, they start to chase it again. I would call it true love if you find the person that you share that high with and no longer require to chase it. | |
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