| | Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?Page 15 of 14 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14) | 334:
Sometimes a woman who thinks that a man approaching her reflects how he is with things like asking a boss for a raise is a messed up woman. This would be an example of how some women are so messed, contradictory, and self defeating in thier thinking and attitudes. And it's an indication of some of the other ways she thinks about men and relationships, if she thinks of herself or the act of a man asking her out in that way. | |
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| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 7/12/2012 2:03:28 AM | This explains why its so easy for men to meet woman when they go overseas. Its nuts! (Ecuador being the excpetion) Any man who has traveled abroad to Latin America or Asia can attest to the craziness of how easy it is to land attractive ladies. All men report how easy it is to get laid when abroad , (outisde of touristy areas that is). In the US woman don’t flirt with you.
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I can do it, but there's no guarantees. Watch what you seek. They can run rings around you if not careful. One false move and they can destroy you, or you can destroy them. Make the wrong move, and you're done. Truth. Best outcome, stalemate. I was lucky; I destroyed her. I wouldn't do it again though. Luck is a one time thing. | |
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| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 7/17/2012 5:22:56 PM |
thats what pisses me off hardcore, men have to have a certain attitude, behave a certain-way, think a certain way, have a certain type of life, certain type of body-language, in order to be boyfriend material, but women, as long as they are average or decent looking, they don't need much other qualities.
Since when? Of course you don't see the men's profiles and the long lists of must haves before they will even consider a woman. It seems to me that you are just a little bitter and awfully young for that. Woman have as many if not more demands/expectations placed on them, including being polite and smiling sweetly when some stranger comes up to her and makes crude comments. Or be the one to approach or will that be too agressive etc.
Life is rough for everyone, time to toughen up and quit whining! | |
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| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:54:46 PM | If I had asked out the last guy I would have missed out on a great guy.. He doesn't like that, and it never would have worked. I have asked guys out twice.. and both times I was stood up. Usually I'm not looking for a guy or noticing them when I'm out.. so if they don't ask me, then nothing will happen. I go out to have fun, not hit on men. If I get hit on I deal with it. If I don't.. I don't notice. I don't usually meet guys that way tho. I usually bump into them in the weirdest places. Although I did meet one at a bar.. and he's great. :~)
And it's a crock that "men just want a good looking woman" If that was the case there'd be no single pretty women. and there are plenty. Perhaps they want to BED that kind of woman.. but to actually BE with one there is a list of "criteria" that will be different with each person. Men are no different then women this way other then the list of attributes will differ.
Sheesh.. men practically want us to be bipolar.. lol Ya know.. be a "lady in the street and a freak in the bed". LOL! oh yes and be independent while worshiping them, smile sweetly, look great in a dress, depend on them but no too much, cook well, be funny, smart, witty and active. Enjoy similar interests to them and be shorter then them.. just to give you an idea of what I've seen on here.. How is that different? | |
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| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:37:21 PM | I have to tell you again and again :-)
When someone is asking for something does not matter where....is the underdog, the salesman. If you do that you have to explain, play the game....while the other side is sucking teeth and using tootpick and have the boots on the table.....like sure keep taking, tell me your story, impress me (= make me laugh). And when you sweat and talk and talk and make your case you hear: I like travelling, I need this, I need that....my kids first.
Sure there may not necesarily be all cases like this...but this is how it works. If there is too much pursuing....leave it. It has to be almost spontaneous....Like: Do you want to go out with me ? Yes sure it would be a pleasure take it and let it roll....OR...Nah not know...let me think...= f.u.c.k it move on. The more you pursuing the more the other will take advantage of you...and will "exersise power" on you. Basically that what seems to be happening....many women look for an idiot with money...good looking if possible....but one who she can model after her needs.
The sad part is if she does not do it....it means she is over 200 lbs. maybe.
If you look at a women a few times and she does not respond DON'T approach. They always shout about "communication" isn't it ? So let them COMMUNICATE them. They are masters of "communication" right ? | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 317 | |
| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 7/17/2012 11:50:13 PM |
..if a man isn't approaching ya...then he isn't interested...period.
Ah .. yeah. Yep.
There was a woman at work -- she had to have been 15 years older than me.
I knew it was stupid. I knew I'd be rebuffed. I also knew she was flattered,
but not so much interested, personally. Just that she could still get that kind
of draw. This was a while ago. I was about 31 at the time.
Since I can read from a distance, I didn't have to say the words, and hear hers.
It was all subtext, but the messages were exchanged. I have absolutely no doubt
of that. To celebrate it, later, I did say some forward things to her, but with very
specific cues to go with it, to indicate I accepted her decision, but I sure wished it
was the other one, than the one she went with.
This happens fairly often. It's nice, and from then on, nicer still. I was sweet on
her, and I didn't have to hide it from her. There were little smiles and things,
exchanged. I don't know if anyone else there noticed.
I know darn well she did.  | |
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| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 7/18/2012 12:10:23 AM | I have no problem doing the pursuing. However, my pet peeve is women who complain about not meeting the right men, and they even have guys they want to approach, but they don't because it is the guy's "job". You are either part of the solution or part of the problem.
I am a gentleman and I believe in chivalry and treating women well. But sorry ladies. This is the 21st century. Back when women were working crappy babysitting jobs in high school and they did not have equal rights it made more sense for the men to do everything. However, you have equal rights and jobs. It is time to extend equality into dating as well. A few examples. Women love to throw around the whoever plans should pay rule. Yet WOMEN NEVER PLAN DATES. So the guy is always stuck with the bill. Secondly, if a man complains at all that he is planning every date or always picking up the check, he is labeled cheap and lazy. Yet it is women who are trying to avoid spending any money and putting any planning effort in. Seems like the pot calling the kettle black doesn't it? Just last week in the " has dating changed" thread, the OP was actually complaining at having to spend $2 on her own coffee and had the nerve to call the guy cheap. Are you serious?
You know what I did to finally beat the system? I studied up on free and cheap date activities and got creative with my date planning. I scouted locations, I worked on planning them out, etc.. Now for 80% of my dates I spend little to no money and I come off like a creative genius because they are not typical dates. Arguing about how women should take more of an active interest and trying to convince women to plan and pay leads to nothing but tension and always falls on deaf ears. So I finally decided just to circumvent the system and avoid having money becoming an issue in the first place. | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 319 | |
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| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 7/20/2012 1:01:43 PM |
Seriously, why are men held to higher standards than women are?
You think?
Women are the ones who need to stay slim, not eat too much, have big breasts, look great in bikinis, not have mustaches, shave pubic hair, be good housekeeper, be even better with children, be serious career women at the same time, and yet still have the energy to give her man a massage at the end of the day.
See how points of view can be different? I think both men and women are held by the huge standards that society vehiculates as being "models".
When you push people like Johnny Depps or Britney Spears (well not anymore, but you get the idea LOL) as role-models, it gives you an idea of what society tells us we should be. | |
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| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 7/20/2012 1:22:56 PM |
Seriously, why are men held to higher standards than women are?
I don't think it's necessarily that men are held to higher standards, just that men and women are held to different sets of high standards.
Women can't be "sluts" but we should know how to please. We should be "feminine" but must be strong (ie masculine) enough to support ourselves or we're gold diggers.
It's a whole different list of rules than with men, but the rules are still there that we're supposed to abide by. :/ | |
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| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 7/20/2012 1:23:29 PM |
Seriously, why are men held to higher standards than women are?
Does anyone, except yourself actually believe this?
One of the major reasons females MATURE faster than males is because women are held to a higher standard by society in almost everything that they are expected to do.
Guys are expected to initiate the date because only they know if they have enough money to pay for a date and only they know if they are mature enough to handle a relationship with a woman. | |
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| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 7/21/2012 1:20:35 PM | Guys are expected to initiate the date because only they know if they have enough money to pay for a date
Yuck. I hope I don't ever accidentally go out with a woman whose thinking and motivations are such that this is a big factor in how she thinks about styles or strategies of approaching or flirting.
and only they know if they are mature enough to handle a relationship with a woman.
Not so sure about that. It's easy for them to NOT know...and it's easy for someone else TO know. But beside that point - I'm still too responsible in how I perceive things to feel comfortable with any implication that women intrinsically have cornered the market on maturity. What about whether or not a woman is mature enough to handle a relationship with a man? So it still leaves us with the debate of man vs woman concerning who's supposed to ask who out.
...and also...is someone REALLY being serious about the notion that women are held to higher standards than men, or men more than women, in some general total all around way? Geez, be for real already people. | |
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| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 9/2/2012 2:36:35 PM | well violence, instigating a fight, involves bravery, courage, and aren't balls, testosterone, associated with risk-taking? mainly i've thought, felt about doing that because i hate, despise, loathe the social-norm, status-quo, tradition, that the guy has to be the initiator, do the pursuing, approaching, asking out, etc
It's not always that way. But even if it were, big f*cking deal.
You're willing to just sit back and cry about it for the rest of your life instead of pursuing?
Yeah, that's got to be really fulfilling. | |
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| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 9/2/2012 3:00:59 PM | It's a whole different list of rules than with men, but the rules are still there that we're supposed to abide by.
Not in my world. Perhaps I'm more future forward.
I used to fret with self -critical worry. Be overly sensitive to every little thing to the point of sickness while the man has the control. Not anymore.
If a man can't handle myself taking an initiative then he won't be able to handle me at all. I'm not the one missing out because I am happily free to being me.
He is the one missing out.
In my opinion, a real man with balls is one who lets me use mine, so to speak. There's nothing more unnerving than watching a man become uncomfortable when I show my "strong" side. His discomfort is a HUGE turn off.
However, if he were to allow this side of me and appreciate it, it makes me want to show my softer, submissive side as well.
Balance.
Yin Yang
I'm assuming this is the same for alot of women like myself? So..... the guy doesn't always have to initiate the date and relationship. He just needs to learn to allow and appreciate the woman initiating. | |
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| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 9/2/2012 8:18:18 PM | | Honestly??? Yes most women will not make the first move. Sometimes, it has to do with their self esteem and how they look at themselves. Or, just like guys, they are scared of being shot down. I personally, have no problem asking a guy out, making the first move, etc. Because I have personally learned that yes, guys are shy too. And if you really want something, you should go for it. | |
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| Why does the guy always have to initiate the date and relationship? or at least most of the time?
Posted: 9/7/2012 4:50:00 PM | | wish more women had your attitude, mindset, but lately the past couple of years i've just come to accept and deal with it, learned a long time ago that life is never fair, the world, life is not all sunshine and rainbows, it is a very mean, cruel, mean and nasty, cruel, ruthless place that will beat you to your knees if you let it. Very inspirational scene from the last Rocky movie. | |
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