| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/3/2009 12:47:30 AM | WomanInProgress:
You say it so much better than me. But I already feel like I'm beating a dead horse because some are just going to twist words because although they asked for opinions they obviously only wanted ones that agreed with their own.
But what you said pretty much sums up what I feel as well..
"And sure dating is fine if it happens naturally. It's more not good when you're out actively trying to hunt it down. "
If I was already with someone who lost his job, different story. But what I got from the OP was this thread was originally about men from this site being unemployed and dating women. Which would mean they are actively looking for dates not just happening upon a random girl. And in which case, I don't think that's right. JMO.
I would want to have a stable job, whatever it is, and be in a good place, financially and mentally, before I start seeking someone. Otherwise there's a lot of pressure associated with how and when you're going to be able to pay your bills and this can make someone irritable, anxious, emotional, etc. I'd rather they devote their time and energy to finding another job. It just sets the stage for a healthier relationship if the two are balanced. | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/3/2009 4:09:31 PM |
Unfortunately, getting that area of my life back on track did not engender a marked improvement in my personal, relationship Life. Shortly after I created this thread, I met a woman (online) who didn't treat me very well (details...not so much right now). Shortly after that ended, I met another woman who....eventually did pretty much the same thing.
Why is it so hard for people NOT to say things that they know are not true?
Besides, dating is also a good way to network. Date people you aren't attracted to, yet they might have a rich uncle who has the perfect job for you! You can just maintain friendships with women, ex-girlfriends, etc.
It sucks that a lot of women want to "opt-out of a job" and raise kids, so they expect a Man to make a ton of money. but that is how life has been forever, so choose your woman wisely and make sure she can stay by you through the difficult times.
Besides, if you are unemployed, are you really expecting a LTR. Just meet new "friends with benefits" and tell them when you get a job, you'll be thinking about marriage and buying a house! | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:37:59 PM |
Greenspan calls Jobs Report - depressing... to exceed 10% in 2010
That's Right Ladies and Gentlemen - The Unemployment Rate is no longer slowing down it is actually increasing - Next to go RETAIL. So all you lucky people who found retail jobs - sorry you too will be sitting at home with the rest of us.....
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:37:22 AM | | yeah...dating goldiggers is expensive..i agree with that one..stop dating them!! | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/16/2009 9:55:29 PM | | Plenty of people make dating a priority when they're unemployed. Finding a date is easier than getting a job. Having a job is commitment, dating is fun! | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:32:07 PM |
Plenty of people make dating a priority when they're unemployed.
Seriously, like I said before - why give up now? You have more time to smell the roses - while you are working - you don't. This is the perfect time to find the most important person you will ever meet in your life...
If you are honest - somebody will like you for who you are - not your job - and if they can accept you have no job right now and it's a temporary setback - you have a chance to meet the one you were meant to be with......
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/18/2009 3:24:16 AM | Meeting a Online Friend ( 'dating 'is so passé), who was unemployed woul't be a issue - the heart of sharing costs, asd a principle is essential - this is far removed from 'women' (aka girls ) who expect to be wined & dined
~sc~ | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/18/2009 4:00:30 AM | Well I met a wonderful woman on this site - I explained to her my situation - she was a little miffed I was unemployed - but she looked past it.
If you can meet someone now - I guarantee if they can look past your predicament - you found a keeper my friends..... | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:06:11 AM | | You have two choices(maybe more). Stop dating or do things that dont require a lot of money. If the women doesnt understand your dilema due to the economy shes not very open minded(close minded). Cause if the shoe was on the other foot, she may be more aggressive to look for a meal ticket herself. | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/19/2009 6:41:46 PM | It would seem that women (and most guys) would see it as acceptable if a woman was unemployed, because of traditional gender roles that women can leave their careers and raise children full-time so most do not need a 'serious' career.
But there is more societal pressure on a man to not only be employed, but make enough to support a housewife and children. Its a bit unfair and traditional, but it seems to affect both genders. | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/20/2009 10:35:16 AM | | i'm glad the original poster found a job but is curious why all his relationships ended so fast. my personal opinion about folks unemployed and dating: you should not be dating but using your time wisely in finding a job. most women will not date a guy who is not working and will in some cases try to end a relationship with the current beau if he stopped working. the OP need to do some serious "soul searching" to see why these women treated him like a Dope? something just doesn't sound right. i'm tired of folks always blaming the women for stuff /relations failing. | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/20/2009 10:52:25 AM | I agree with some of what you said Dallas, men should spend their time finding work first..
For me, a woman not working is not a big issue..her ambitions and desire to find work is more important..if she has that..no big deal, but if she is looking for someone to support her..not good.
It seems that most point the finger at each other to blame the other because they cannot stand the idea that they were an equal factor in the break up..I guess they convince themselves that the other person was at fault so they feel better about themsleves..?? | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/20/2009 2:46:06 PM | | I've done it. Lost a job while I was dating one woman. Took the summer off as I have savings and enjoyed it. Got a new job after 3 months making even more money but she was resentful that I took the summer off and didn't work. She didn't mind the money I spent of her but resented I didn't have to get up every day. Everyone should try taking a summer off. It was starting to become a problem with my last girlfriend as well so it's better that it ended. Don't think I ever want a real job again, self employment is the life for me. | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 10/22/2009 3:26:04 PM |
Again the problem isn't about money - the problem isn't about paying bills or even self sufficiency with me. The problem is that a man would want to date in that situation. Unless he's got a trust fund or doesn't have to work for some reason, he SHOULD be too worried about not working to comfortably date. He should be not in a right mindset to date.
Why? Because when I'm not working, I can't concentrate on dating - because making sure I can take care of myself is way more important than finding dates. Therefore I'd expect the same from someone else..
Well, would you date someone like Steve Jobs when he dropped out of college and before he started Apple?
Would you not date a med-school student because he couldn't pay the bills?
Everyone would love to be self-sufficient, but a lot of people get their lives back on track with the help of friends and family, not the fake friends who leave them in the cold. Each person is different and some people may be diamonds in the rough. | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:11:14 PM | I find that if you are a hot guy many women will still take you even if you have no job.
Of course she will want you to repay her with something else. LOLZ | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:29:18 PM | | My question is, why would you enter into a dating situation before you get your sh** together? I've been unemployed/underemployed, and dating was the LAST thing on my mind. | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:37:08 PM | | Hold on a minute!!!! So all people without jobs are not allowed to date?? hahaha. so thats where all the single guys are!! Down the job centre! | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:54:14 PM |
Hold on a minute!!!! So all people without jobs are not allowed to date??
I didn't say that. I just don't think it's very responsible unless he's independently wealthy. I would never do it. | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:23:24 PM |
My question is, why would you enter into a dating situation before you get your sh** together? I've been unemployed/underemployed, and dating was the LAST thing on my mind.
Wow....wisdom. I agree that dating is recreational to an extent. When you're not working, or working too much, or a full time parent, or in the middle of a divorce - dating just isn't a priority.
Dating is for when everything else is squared away. | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:49:08 PM | Hi there DJB
I think you're being a little hard on yourself...truth is there's lots of people out there that are unemployed at this time.
It happened to me in California and I'm still okay....If you go to the job fairs there's lots of us out there due to no fault of our own but the sluggish economy. You need to quit beating yourself up...and meeting for coffee is a pretty cheap date...if there's chemistry it's good and if not, you never know who knows someone that might
have another job suggestion for you.
I am sure you can get unemployment...not great but it helps some. Also, start looking out of state...Texas is hiring like crazy in all areas.....but you need to give yourself a little break too. Oklahoma is having pending cutbacks at state agencies and schools and with the tax base dropping, it will eventually effect other areas as well...you're probably lucky to be at the leading edge of the job search.
Good luck to you. It will all eventually work out for the better. | |
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| Dating while unemployed
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:15:28 PM | Unemployment rate now 10.2% not 9.9% prediction
I see the rate keeps going up - what is it going to be next 11% or 12%
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