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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > How far will YOU go to look young?      Home login  
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 historian1441
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 51
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Know what really ticks me off?Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
hi blue eyes. sounds like toxic friend and sister to me. i checked your profile and was impressed by your humor and attitude. you look just fine the way you are. don't let other peoples poison your healthy attitude. i am pleased that so many posters have such a good attitude. i've seen women who've had botox that look like wax figures, collagen so bad they look like they've had a shellfish reaction and boob jobs that look incredibly fake. any guy that turns you down because you have a few wrinkles probably wasn't worth meeting.
 strollinbella
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 52
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 3:41:24 AM
The only thing I will continue to do to help myself feel younger, and possibly look younger, is exercise regularly. I haven't used makeup for many, many years, and refuse to go through chemical peels, botox treatments, boob jobs, or any other procedure in hopes that I might appeal to a larger group of men.

I have earned the lines around my eyes. Refuse to look at them as wrinkles, but rather as laugh lines.

I received a compliment the other day from a nice man. He said that he was attracted to me because of my natural beauty, and the fact that I didn't try to hide under mounds of makeup. The only things I use on my face are warm water and moisturizers.

I am not afraid to tell people my age, mainly because most don't think I am over 45 and are surprised to hear my real age. The gentleman I mention above didn't believe me, even after I showed him my birth certificate, lol!
 rheard
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 53
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 3:57:58 AM
Wellllllll ... if ya want a gal (or guy) who won't wrinkle, never sag, and who will always look shower fresh and twenty five - I hear those Japanese are working wonders with robotics these days

Me , I prefer to stick with the real thing - wrinkles and all
 leslie1004
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 54
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Posted: 4/2/2009 5:33:23 AM
Rudenes really ticks me off. People who vent their anger from past experiences on someone they haven't even met. It has happened to me on ths site. I apparently made a serious mistake by including some older photos with my present one. (I have since deleted them.) I normally do not photograph well, and am always told I look better than my pics when I meet someone. I also change my hairstyle and color, so these pics showed different styles and colors. It was obvious that they were not recent, they were not my primry photo, and I was accused of trying to deceive. I sent a man a note complimenting his profile, and his written desire for honesty, in return he emailed me that I was a liar, and posted old photos to deceive, and told me to get lost. He was obviously very angry, and I was really hurt. I am a widow, and dating, particularly online dating is new to me. I have never had this happen before, I hope no one else has.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 55
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 5:46:52 AM
Leslie, don't let someone elses unhappiness effect yours...he has his issues and he used you to take them out on...your choice what you do with it...personally when someone shows me who they really are I tend to be a bit grateful cause now I know the profile doesnt match the personality and Im better off knowing that now vs later. Some are good at hiding their anger issues until after you have spent your time and energy getting to know them.

Good luck in your search and sorry for your loss.
 123carrie
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 56
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Posted: 4/2/2009 5:54:22 AM
I always think of wrinkles as badges of experience.......
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 57
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:43:49 AM

any guy that turns you down because you have a few wrinkles probably wasn't worth meeting.


You mean like the old farts who have on their profiles they want to meet young women and limit the ages of who can contact them? I suppose women do that, too.


I haven't used makeup for many, many years, and refuse to go through chemical peels, botox treatments, boob jobs, or any other procedure in hopes that I might appeal to a larger group of men.


I have never used make-up (beyond mascara) because I don't like the feel of it on my skin, but make-up falls into my original question for only one reason: I have seen women my age and older plaster their faces with make-up and it hides nothing. In fact, it accentuates the wrinkles that they are trying to hide.

And yes, I have seen women my age and older who look great in make-up--I wonder if it is the quality of the brands.

I have dated men who have said they had GFs who would NOT allow themselves to be seen in the morning without first putting on their make-up. I am pretty vain--I won't leave the house in sweatpants--but wow, that is bad!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 58
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:47:12 AM
leslie, I am sorry that you had this bad experience, and though the man was out of line in calling you a liar and deceiver, many of us have had very negative experiences with people who have posted old or deceiving photos.

Don't let it continue to hurt you. He doesn't know you and can't make a judgment on what type of woman you are.

You'll have to grow some thicker skin for this online dating "stuff"!
 2Irish1
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 59
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 8:36:34 AM
Hey Gwen,

I resemble that remark...
You mean like the old farts who have on their profiles they want to meet young women and limit the ages of who can contact them


You know what makes me tick? Smart women...with love in their heart...though have had their hearts hurt are not so jaded against "a man"....women who are multifaceted....women with kids....women who understand kids...and so much more.

I've said this before:

"At the start, at least, we must be pretty to each other....but as the years roll by...and the pounds, wrinkles, and grey accumulate....it'll still be alright to fight over that last..depends!"

Irish
 pazoozoo
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 60
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Posted: 4/2/2009 8:59:45 AM
So far, I am the only person who had admitted to having procedures and using various things that are available to enhance my appearance, so I will be the one replies to some of the assumptions.

The majority of women who choose to have cosmetic procedures are no more afraid of death than the average person on the street. If we were, we sure as heck wouldn't be "going under the knife".

Thanks to television, there are well publicized cases of women who use excessive surgeries and other enhancements. They are not the norm. They have mental and emotional challenges.

Most of us are not insecure. Most of us don't lie about our age. Most of us are not obsessed about the way we look. We are not afraid of getting older, we know there is nothing that will prevent aging. We simply see no reason that we have to look like granny's before we are ready.

Cosmetic procedures have made miraculous strides. Unless it is an 80 yr. old woman who has gone too far with it, most people have no idea when someone has enhanced their procedures. The vast majority of us don't look like plastic or rubber Barbie dolls.

We are not naive fools that believe every claim we see. We are pretty savey shoppers and do our research about cosmetics and skin creams. There are some that do exactly what they say they do.

For those that prefer to go along with Mother Nature, that is fine, but please think about how you sound when you make sweeping statements about those of us who prefer to follow a different path.
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 61
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Posted: 4/2/2009 9:04:24 AM
This would be a "pet peeve" , wouldn't it. Wrinkles pretty much means: (face). I find some faces attractive, and some I don't. Whether there are wrinkles or not, doesn't seem to be a constant in the equasion. Who can say what combination of stuff makes an "attractive face" to us? One man's beautiful is probably another's ugly. I try not to waste my time and energy over-anylizing this stuff. I just try and pay attention to whats going on inside me. thats good enough. As far as the whole package goes. I know I tend to be turned off by the signifigantly over-weight... the sedentary. this has nothing to do with aging. Our faces are always out there.... exposed to the wonderful Light of day. They are the billboard of the life we have lived. Our bodies..... can be the billboard to the life we (havn't ) lived. Use em or Lose em! Keep on smilin'... and wrinklin'!
 pazoozoo
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 62
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Posted: 4/2/2009 9:38:37 AM
Umm...this will teach me to mulit task.


so I will be the one replies to some of the assumptions


so I will be the one who replies to some of the assumptions

granny's=grannies


someone has enhanced their procedures.


someone has used enhancement procedures.

There are probably more, but between the allergy meds and phone, I'm feeling like an air-head.
 bunni007
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 63
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Posted: 4/2/2009 9:49:38 AM
I love who I am...and that's not an ego statement. Am I perfect in looks--heck no, but I love who I am. If I worried about what everyone thought, or counted ever gray hair or wrinkle I would be 6 feet under for sure. Life is too short and there is too much to do!
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 64
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 10:32:36 AM
Pazoozoo, I agree with you, when I read that about people being afraid of death the stupidity of it made me laugh and I didnt feel the need to comment cause I hope no one else would buy into it.

It is sad when someone doesnt understand their views or opinions are just theirs, and by putting down others they only make themselves look bad....it is a personal choice. If you do and it makes you feel better about yourself then you should...if you dont and you feel good about yourself bravo but beating up the other camp or trying to put someone down who does opposite from you only makes it look like you are angry bitter and resentful of the other side.

My 18 year old colors her hair and wears makeup and whitens her teeth...it is not an age related thing...it is a personal choice she made about what makes her happy about her appearance.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 65
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 1:08:55 PM
Pazoozoo and Sapphire, we all want to look better, no doubt, but reread my original post.

My rant began as a protest against ads that prey on people's insecurities, i.e. the model in the ad is saying she was "embarrassed and ashamed" of her wrinkles. Age is not something that should embarrass people or of which we should be ashamed.

If this ad were an isolated bit of advertising, then there would be no problem, but it exemplifies and standardizes the media's portrayal of older folks (and I will include guys since someone mentioned baldness).

This is not a sweeping generalization: the media is full of spokespeople trying to make a buck for their companies. Our culture is obsessed with youth and with looking younger. In past centuries, old women bore the brunt of everything from being burned as witches to the belief that a post-menopausal woman could harm a child by looking at it. The "consequences" of aging have changed, true, and women are no longer burned, but the overt implication that there is something wrong with being older/old still exists.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 66
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Posted: 4/2/2009 1:24:17 PM
I went to get a facelift...when they saw what was underneath they put it back down.

No knives, needles, injections of poison or foreign substances.
I do enjoy being a smart woman cleverly disguised as a blonde.
And I proudly own up to every last one of my 55 years.

Re the thread title, I have found that one of the best FREE beauty secrets anybody can have, is to not get ticked off about little things.
If the rest of the world wants to be embarrassed by wrinkles, more power to 'em.
I prefer to reserve my anger for genuine wrongdoing committed against the elderly, the poor, and the underinformed. Not TV ads.
Cindy O
 Michaelann
Joined: 9/11/2004
Msg: 67
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 1:39:47 PM
I have never had this happen before, I hope no one else has. - leslie1004

I am sorry to say, it's a common thing here. When I first joined I only had 1 photo scanned (my ex got the computer because my teenaged son
was still living there) & it was taken in 1999 (I did not have a digital camera then). Because I was the primary photograph taker in my family,
there were not many recent pictures of me, except with my kids, which I chose not to post. I was honest about that in my profile. I still like it, in
fact I still have it on my profile with the date captioned so that I cannot realistically be accused of being deceptive.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Gwendolyn2008 , I agree with you about how disgusting these ads are & the way they prey upon people's emotional vulnerabilities. I am SO
grateful that my mother taught me how to dispassionately evaluate commercials, when I was little. These people are trying to sell you something
& they often don't have your best interests in mind.

For instance, look at the "before & after" pictures for weight loss companies. If you examine the picturs objectively, easily 75% of the women's "new"
appearance, isn't about weight loss. In the "before" picture, she's wearing an ugly, baggy outfit, has a horrbile hairstyle & usually isn't smiling or
wearing makeup. In the "after" picture, she is wearing an beautiful new outfit, she's styled (or even coloured) her hair attractively, she's smiling &
make up. Utterly deceptive!

Caveat emptor, indeed!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I have dated men who have said they had GFs who would NOT allow themselves to be seen in the morning without first putting on their make-up. I am pretty vain--I won't leave the house in sweatpants--but wow, that is bad! - Gwendolyn2008

I was like that, when I was newl;y divorced at 18! ROFLMFAO!!
As for sweatpants, I have never found them comfortable, they feel like pajamas rather than clothes to me, but I don't go out (except maybe swimming),
without jeans or my capris.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 68
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Posted: 4/2/2009 2:16:03 PM
When women speak in focus groups Gwen, what comes out, among other things, are the expressions of shame, disgust and embarrassment. Just because you don't think people should feel that way does not mean that there aren't some people who do.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 69
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 2:55:13 PM
I think most people at this age accept themselves, but some don't...why are they wrong to want to look or feel better to themselves.

One of my children wants a nose job, i agree their nose is totally wrong for their face and it is what most will focus on, they have the most beautiful eyes that never show.. My child tries to hide behind others all the time based on how they feel ashamed...etc....so by them doing something positive for themselves are they lacking somehow??????

Isnt it the people who say..ok I am ok with how I look with my wrinkles and grey hair etc trying to shove their acceptance down others throat...those who feel the need to improve their looks do so for their reasons...and owe no one a explanation...it is about their self confidence....do commercials prey on them...if you ask them no..the commercials are reassuring to them that they are making the right choice for them. For instance if you rent an apartment and a commercial comes on for a product that gets rid of weeds in a yard...you would come on here and take about accepting the weeds in a yard...if a product doesnt apply to you then why the hate for those it does?

Not everyone needs a nose job...but some do....for their own confidence...not everyone needs all the products but they are there for those who do and for someone to try and make themselves sound better cause they dont feel they do ...well geee...some of us are blessed with more to start with.... just be glad you can be accepting of your appearance now and grant others the opportunity to do the same.
 tass08
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 70
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 3:19:08 PM
You're going to give your kid a nose job? What a great mother you are. Why don't you go ahead and get some lipo or a lapband first?
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 71
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 4:29:45 PM
Where is the world did you get that I was going to give my kid a nose job? I said my child wants one, and I can see where they feel they need one, but if they dont work to earn the money to have one then they wont put as much thought into having one done....we can say we need to fix this or that if someone else is paying for it. Im happy with myself so I dont need the lipo or the lapband. That was the point some people do feel like they need to improve their appearance it isnt up to us to judge that decision.
 Lil Brooker
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 72
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Posted: 4/2/2009 4:37:20 PM

You're going to give your kid a nose job? What a great mother you are. Why don't you go ahead and get some lipo or a lapband first?

I'll bet she's a great mother! If you had a child that was born with a physical feature so outside the norm and they wanted to change it, would you make them feel guilty for their desire or support them?

Some people are born with unfortunate attributes that make them freaks. With modern plastic surgery they have the opportunity to not stand out with their abnormality.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 73
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Posted: 4/2/2009 5:00:04 PM
About the only thing I will do is hit the bottle. I'm not talking about Jack Daniels here - I'm talking about the hair color stuff. I'm not ready to go totally gray/white.

By damn, I've earned my wrinkles. My wrinkles come from laughing and smiling too much. Better to have those types of wrinkles than the type that you earn from frowning too much.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 74
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 5:01:40 PM

When women speak in focus groups Gwen, what comes out, among other things, are the expressions of shame, disgust and embarrassment. Just because you don't think people should feel that way does not mean that there aren't some people who do.


You seem to miss my point--why do women feel these things? It isn't an inherent trait to be ashamed of one's self; it is a learned behavior. The emphasis that is put on age--and other aspects--are why women have these negative feelings about themselves. We are constantly bombarded with images of the perfect woman: thin, beautiful, and young.

Women don't go to groups in order to have negative self-images validated and reinforced as good; they go to rid themselves of negativity about themselves and to get rid of those feelings of self loathing. Ads such as the one I spoke of pander to these feelings.

Shedding shame, disgust and embarrassment should come from the inside. I used to weigh 250 pounds; I know all about self disgust and embarrassment, but it wasn't until I began to like myself that I was able to shed the weight and have a positive self image.

Again, the ads are the representation of a common ideology.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 75
Know what really ticks me off?
Posted: 4/2/2009 5:07:29 PM

About the only thing I will do is hit the bottle. I'm not talking about Jack Daniels here - I'm talking about the hair color stuff. I'm not ready to go totally gray/white.


I haven't heard of anyone dying from dyeing his/her hair!

And you ladies, or gents, who have surgeries or botox to make yourself look younger--was it from shame? Were you embarrassed to be seen in public pre-transformation? Did you have low self-esteem before the procedure?


.if a product doesnt apply to you then why the hate for those it does?


Whoa, who said ANYTHING about hating or even disliking someone who has such a procedure or uses products? Separate the issues here: the media preys on those with low self esteem by using biased words such as "shame" and "embarrassment" and attempting to make women feel aging is unnatural and automatically makes us unattractive.
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