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 meegway
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 101
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?Page 5 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

Most people appreciate someone who makes at least a little effort with their appearance and I would imagine most men assume a woman is going to wear a little mascara and lipgloss.


I really do not think that mascara and lipgloss would qualify as placing someone in a high maintenance category....Just a thought from Pizza.
 trustediva
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 102
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/5/2009 6:13:37 PM
Karma: You're so right. I do like entrepreneurs. Those are very good observations.
 ndulj
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 103
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 5:10:41 AM
This may sound shallow, not really sure.

What the matchmaker is talking about is marketing, that's all. Presumably you contacted her to find you a mate. Her job, as is any marketers, is to "package" the product to show it to it's best advantage. She isn't trying to change the product, just package it so as to catch the attention of the potential , uhhh "consumer".
 Selima
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 104
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 5:34:43 AM

What the matchmaker is talking about is marketing, that's all. Presumably you contacted her to find you a mate. Her job, as is any marketers, is to "package" the product to show it to it's best advantage. She isn't trying to change the product, just package it so as to catch the attention of the potential , uhhh "consumer".
I think you are right. These men don't expect a woman to always be dressed to the nines, but they want one who looks great when she does, and one who gives the impression she likes to be polished. It's not the type of man I'm interested in, but it is a type I'm somewhat familiar with.
 lelathecat
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 105
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 5:44:32 AM
What we really want to know is what kind of men do successful women want?
 Selima
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 106
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 5:49:09 AM

What we really want to know is what kind of men do successful women want?
It depends on your definition of 'successful' women. What the matchmaker situation was, I think, is men like business executives, physicians, etc. To me, they are not the only type of man who is successful, or woman. I guess most people want to hook up with someone who fits in with their lifestyle. I've dated men who make a lot of money. I find them boring. I don't think making and spending money is interesting. They may be successful financially, but to me there are other types of success.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 107
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 8:44:24 AM
What matchmakers want is to make money. Its in the nature of human beings that we want to couple up, at least for most of us, and its in the nature of human beings that we will do so based on a relatively modest array of choices. Matchmakers provide choices for pay. Given a sufficient number of encounters, one is likely to accept one of them. Its easy for the matchmaker to pick out more or less suitable matches, then continue presenting them until a mutual choice is arrived at.

In the course of things, the matchmaker route is probably no more effective than any other technique. Neither matchmakers not any other method can possible sift through the entire population of suitable matches, there are just too many of them out there. l they can, and do achieve, is to color a bit the nature of the selection pool based on their perception of what you want and who you actually are as a person. In the end, you will make a choice that is no better nor worse than the one you would make by another method, such as joining a church, taking up a sport, or volunteering for work in Africa. In a sense, the fastest way to get to a decision point is to put yourself in a situation where the choice is limited. People who live in small towns find mates more easily than people who live in big cities.
 trustediva
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 108
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 11:43:44 AM
Thank you all. This has been a most interesting discussion. I cancelled the coffee date with the man the matchmaker set me up with. On Friday, a man whom I had been friends with for the past while, and I decided that we would take our relationship to a romantic level. We had dabbled with that a tiny bit a little while ago and we realized that there is an attraction that is on many levels. I had introduced him to the matchmaker awhile after his marriage ended- and the matchmaker told me I wasn't his type

Anyway, he is what I'm looking for. Smart, successful, we share interests and values. He can dress up, but like me, hike, cycle, go camping, kayaking. But also go to the museum and the theatre. Our boys are friends so that is great too.

so there you have it. What did that matchmaker know? But it hurts to know I paid her all this money to not even get a single date and to find somebody in my backyard!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 109
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 1:01:35 PM
As I have said in previous threads, statistics show that most people find a mate that lives or lived within 2 miles of where they live. Nothing like walking around the neighbourhood to find one's true love....
 Libby333
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 110
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 1:57:07 PM

It depends on your definition of 'successful' women. What the matchmaker situation was, I think, is men like business executives, physicians, etc. To me, they are not the only type of man who is successful, or woman. I guess most people want to hook up with someone who fits in with their lifestyle. I've dated men who make a lot of money. I find them boring. I don't think making and spending money is interesting. They may be successful financially, but to me there are other types of success.


I agree. There are successful men who run pleasure boats, teach tennis, golf, rowing; All manner of successes which are 'out of the proverbial box'. I find most men I've met who categorize themselves as Engineers, Computer Analysts, Physicians, or Business Executives are typically too boring and sedantry, well maybe not the Physicians.

I want someone who wants to learn to tango, waltz, Cha-cha, take me out on a thrilling sail, or hike mountains with me. Not someone who is counting their mound of money and talking non-stop about their achievements.

I don't find making and spending money boring. I just find talking about it ad nauseum to be.
 JJSTL
Joined: 7/13/2006
Msg: 111
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 2:34:49 PM
Perhaps the major problem is what you define as "successful." Also, are you looking for a great partnership or only to get to know what society connotes as successful men? After experiencing the lack of integrity in politics, law, corporate America and the like, perhaps your definition of "success" is what needs to be altered.
 Esperanza
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 112
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 2:44:07 PM
I am a down to Earth type so I guess I wouldn't qualify for the successful, intelligent executives either. I hate it when men only want a woman as an ornament, I've been there, to me it shows lack of respect.
Today I had a response from a man and I read his profile and he was talking about his fetish of having women wearing garders and high heels, I knew I wouldn't fit his qualifications. I wear tennis shoes to work because I am on my feet most of the time working in the healthfield. I cannot wear high heels for too long or I have trouble with my foot plus I would be close to six foot wearing heels. I am not going to pretend to be someone I am not or comfortable doing. I wouldn't mind dressing up for the man I love occasionally to spice it up.
I wouldn't mind someone that would be the executive type but he better accept me for the person I am from the start.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 113
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 2:44:32 PM
I wouldn't put up with a high maintenance man. Why would a man want to put up with nonsense?
 LuvU4Now
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 114
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 3:06:47 PM
I would suggest focusing on finding the right guy and accept him for who he is. If the matchmaking agency can't find a guy for you maybe consider switching. Best wishes.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 115
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 3:23:43 PM
People who accept others for who they are generally change their minds and divorce.
 Levi501s
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 116
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 5:03:58 PM
I would suggest that successful men are looking for women that have retained a high self-maintenance, not a high maintenance woman.

That is, these men want a woman that has placed a priority on keeping themsleves fit: mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I can promise you, a woman that has made these facets a priority over her lifespan is always attractive to a successful man (because, in her own right, she is also "successful"). Most likely because their priorities align.

I believe that anyone making these facets a priority will appear attractive to the opposite sex.

just a thought
 Angel_n_Disguise
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 117
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 5:32:29 PM
I agree with Message 24, by Artz.
 trustediva
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 118
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 6:01:15 PM
what part of his message do you agree with? I don't think that any man who chooses me, or the one who just did choose me, is settling. Just because I don't 'market' myself doesn't mean I represent a settling choice. RE: marketing. Been there ,done that in my 20's. Was stupid then, is stupid now. I am smart, funny, interesting, and can dress for the occasion. If a man needs a tarted up woman to make him look good, he's after the wrong woman here. Not my game. The man who chose me, and who I'm now seeing, told me he thought I was cute, even the day I answered the door in a dressing gown, right out of bed, with mussed up hair. Now there is the man for me!
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 119
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/6/2009 6:43:56 PM
She is correct in a general way. However as someone who has known dozens of doctors on a social level I can tell you that it really depends on the individual man and what he does for a living. I have seen too many millionaire doctors with plain, no makeup, mousy wives. I have seen too many lawyers with overweight ungroomed wives.
It also depends on the area of the country you live in. If you are in a big sophisticated city I would expect more grooming and fashion from people than if you were in more of a relaxed area.
I have known men who were very successful businessmen who wore T shirts and jeans every day. I do not want a man who expects heels and makeup and coiffures personally as it does not fit into my self employed south Florida lifestyle.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 120
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/7/2009 8:02:05 AM
Ultimately I don't think that one's personal opinion on this subject matters at all. Men and women will seek out and connect with people who match their comfort level, whatever that may be. There are members of both sexes who want companions that display a certain style, be it "tarted up" or "relaxed", and they just don't pursue relationships with those who do not match their taste.

If you don't want to wear heels and do your hair, don't. You will end up with someone who likes you the way you are, and you will have accepted him/her because of the way they prefer to dress and otherwise live.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 121
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/7/2009 8:05:27 AM

These men don't expect a woman to always be dressed to the nines, but they want one who looks great when she does,


Does anyone not prefer a companion that, to them, "looks great"? I think not. Its hard to imagine becoming enthralled with someone you thought of as having an appearance and presentation that repulsed you...
 shipoker58
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 122
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/7/2009 8:11:50 AM
I'll answer this, if and when I get successful!
 Selima
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 123
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/7/2009 8:23:19 AM

Does anyone not prefer a companion that, to them, "looks great"? I think not. Its hard to imagine becoming enthralled with someone you thought of as having an appearance and presentation that repulsed you...
Where do you get 'repulsed"? It's a long, long way from someone doesn't look great to someone being repulsive. I wrote the post with brevity and haste and so didn't express the thought as clearly as could have been done. I've dated this type of men. Do now occassionally. One of my 'meets' wrote on his profile how he liked a woman to dress, to be stylish, sophisticated, etc. That kind of bothered me, and I was reluctant to go to meet him for that along with a couple of other reaons. I just didn't think we'd be a match, not that he was a bad guy. He turned out to be someone who was retired but had worked at a very high level of international diplomacy and business. Had worked directly with heads of state that are household names and written of in history books. A very interesting man. And a nice man. Wish I could have been drawn to him, but I wasn't. However, he had a specific idea of how a woman should look. I didn't worry about and dressed how I would have to meet anyone. Guess I passed muster because he wanted to go out again. But, the point is, they want a woman to dress in a way that fits with their vision of what a well dressed woman of taste wears. A woman that they know when she dresses up is going to look right at his side, and when she is dressed casually it isn't going to be sweats or something glittery from K-Mart. This was a guy who was active in outdoor sports, so I'm sure he would not expect manicured nails, high heels and full makeup on every, or even most, occasions. Anyway, I didn't want to say all that the first time. So I abbreviated it. These men have a certain idea of how a woman should dress and what her look is. I have written before that I wear a skirt to work almost every day. That's just how I dress. Other women have written here tht they almost never wear skirts or dresses, but don't mind dressing up for a special reason. I don't consider wearing a skirt and stockings, make-up, etc. to be dressing up. Maybe that's one difference. At the same time, I am not particularly interested in men who have this kind of requirement about women. I don't dress for them. I dress for me.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 124
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Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/7/2009 8:28:08 AM
Well, if you are not attracted to someone, I think you must be repulsed, or perhaps just indifferent.. In any event, it is not going to happen.
 Selima
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 125
Do successful men want higher maintenance women?
Posted: 4/7/2009 8:35:43 AM
Some men I'm not attracted to repulse me, but to most I'm simply indifferent, on a physical level. They may be nice human beings that I want to be friends with, and they may or may not be great looking, dressed up or casually. It seems odd to me to think that there are only the two oppositives: attraction or repulsion. Don't see it that way at all.
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