Landra
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Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 26 | |
| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/1/2009 11:01:51 PM | It's like that joke about what a dog hears:
bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla FOOD bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla WALK bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla OUT bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla TREAT bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla GO POTTY bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/2/2009 5:27:53 AM | Completely agree...PSSSSST .....I'd have sooo much fun with this type of guy.......
At one of those times ....Thank him wildly about him agreeing to the two week cruise...all expenses paid ...just the "girls"....oh yeah | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/2/2009 6:44:24 AM |
he just didn't reply to her exciting news-or sad news. funny news or most of what she said
How many people actually have that much exciting, sad, and/or funny news to relate regularly? It sounds a bit like she's one of those people to whom everything in her life is a Big Deal and he's not that kind of person. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:06:15 AM | Few people genuinely listen, most people simply await their next opportunity to speak.
On a side note, holy thread title Batman - what the heck does "think they are intellects" mean?! 
Perhaps you meant to say "think they are intellectuals"? 
Still doesn't make sense from the context of the original post, as thinking about what to say next while someone is speaking to you has nothing to do with being an intellectual, or with one's intellect. Reeks more of social awkwardness if you ask me...  | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:12:40 AM | EDIT. ^^^ Damn, TigerWoods beat me to the punch
but while you are talking I am thinking of what to say next.
Then he isn't listening, he's thinking.
This is also ironic because if he's doing all this thinking about what to say and then doesn't say anything there are some connections missing.
My votes:
1) He's just using for sex, so the less he talks the sooner he can get some
2) He has less of a personality than a planter's wart and can't hold a conversation
3) He has a disability | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:15:09 AM |
One time she asked are you listening -he said yes but while you are talking I am thinking of what to say next.
That's devotion and undivided mental attention! I don't even do that. If you are not naked, you get no attention.
He remembers what she said- just no opinion on it nor does he compliment her on things.
Oh, that will drive a woman mad! If her emotions aren't "stimulated" during a conversation by means of compliments and vigor disapproval...
Btw, 9 out of 10 times when women think they are saying something interesting, when they are not.... just ask any man. Now if ask a woman, she is likely to say the same about men.
I guess a 30 minute conversation about "eye brows plucking" just isn't that interesting to men just like 1 hour of car racing just isn't that interesting to women.
No interest in sharing the past nor the future.
Perfect! Share the moment. What more can you ask for?
Just being together.
Yeah... those three little words... and women hate them!
I think Tiesto simplified the three words to just two: "Just Be"!
What's up with this type of man?
Maybe he was talking to unattractive woman... and since he couldn't care less if gets any or not, he isn't interested in anything she says - you know kind of like women who aren't attracted to man.
Even if she goes naked to get his attention, as some posters have suggested, it won't necessarily work - ugly is ugly, naked or otherwise. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/2/2009 7:34:47 AM | What's up with this type of man?
Sounds a little preoccupied with himself. If the woman doesn't appreciate "his type" of listening skills then she should find someone who has the listening skills that she could appreciate. Just my opinion.
Women are just as guilty of having poor listenting/engagement skills with men. When I don't listen or engage with someone it usually means I'm not interested. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/2/2009 9:45:59 AM | | It sounds like a conversational pattern that men tend to have. Their is no communal sharing of feelings in men's peer groups. If you appear weak you are told to suck it up and stop crying like a little girl. Unlike girls, we are not socialized to show empathy to our friends. It's not that we don't care, we just aren't trained to respond the same way. We males are socialized from an early age to draw attention to ourselves by thinking one step ahead and verbally dominating the flow of conversation. CEOs rise to the top not by empathizing but by demonstrating their ability to quickly understand a problem and command a solution. Boys play a game of one-upmanship, who can be the most witty with insults, barbs, etc. We learn to formulate responses before the other has even finished speaking. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/2/2009 9:54:52 AM |
Maybe Nike's taking it back to 3 words "Just do it!" might be more stimulating?
LOL! "Just being together" is a philosophical outlook on life. "Just do it", is my shoes telling me what to do - or Nike, telling me what to do - which is typical of Nike. You know they might as change it to, "Just buy it"! | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/2/2009 1:05:19 PM | Few people genuinely listen, most people simply await their next opportunity to speak.
Very true. I'm guilty of this myself, but I am also guilty of listening. I think it depends on the topic and the person(s) you are speaking with/to. Some people seem to go on and on and don't read physical clues that the other person is done and needs to get back to their desk LOL.
I don't go around saying "how are you" to every person I run into at work. I'd rather just say "hey" with a smile, than just say "how are you" to be polite. If I ask you, I want to know. Most times, people ask me how I am, and then they don't even stick around for the answer! What's the point?! In fact, when they do that, it makes them seem even more rude to me. Just to prove that I listen when I ask someone how they are, when they respond I comment on their response "that's good", "glad to hear".
Things get done alot faster without extra azzkissing. BOTH men and women are guilty of that! | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 6:02:00 AM | I agree that it takes courage to just be in the moment and be vulnerable. Just because a man does not talk about feelings doesn't mean he is unfeeling. Words are often a poor representation of 'truth'
In this culture people rarely love - they just want something.
Expressing feelings and loving are not necessarily the same thing. Real love doesn't require words. A lot of people start ' conversations about feelings' in order to manipulate the situation. How many people can come from the moment and express truth without thought of outcome? | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 6:16:03 AM |
It was discussed the other day at work. One woman dated a man that didn't even acknowledge what she was saying. One time she asked are you listening -he said yes but while you are talking I am thinking of what to say next. He remembers what she said- just no opinion on it nor does he compliment her on things. No interest in sharing the past nor the future. Just being together. I have not had that experience but seems like others had. What's up with this type of man?
I think there are two possibilities althoug neither has much to do with being an ``intellect.'' One is that the guy is simply a sociopath. The other is that the women in question are completely uninteresting and always in need of attention such that the guys in question start ignoring them. Ignoring someone who is talking is only rude if the person who is talking thought about what he/she was saying so that it's not just stream of consciousness babbling. Expecting me to listen to something that isn't presented in a way that shows some attempt to create a coherent idea, is no less rude than ignoring someone who has done that. Your description isn't sufficient to figure out what is going on in the specific cases you describe. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 7:54:59 AM | No interest in talking about the past or the future sounds like someone with some SANITY to me. Someone who lives in the present. That's a very good place to be mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Think about it - can you really be anywhere else right now? Look at your feet, you're right where you're supposed to be.
Some of us men learned how to listen and pay attention to women, and we also learned that listening "too much" to women can also lend too much credibility to every little not so significant thing they say or do. There is such a thing as "paying too much attention". I've been there and done that and always found myself "hanging" on her every word and deed. It's about mistaken priorities also.
It's not healthy to be like that, it's not a safe and sane way to live. I call it; living vicariously through another person. I call it; putting her up on a pedestal. A guy hanging on your every word like that may have his priorities all screwed-up too. "Oh wow, I was enjoying our conversation so much that I forgot I was supposed to be at work 15 minutes ago!" --> see what I mean? Would you really want a guy that's irresponsible like that?
So, I've learned that it's best to listen and pay attention to the IMPORTANT things, and filter out the rest. Maybe what she's talking about does not pertain to me, nor do I have a response to it since I have no knowledge of the subject. It depends on the issue. If I'm at work, I might also have WORK on my mind. That should be my first priority at work - right?
Mike | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 8:40:52 AM | One woman dated a man that didn't even acknowledge what she was saying.
That would mostly indicate that she can't be all that interesting a conversationalist, or she has a propensity to babble endlessly about mundane things, or constantly about herself...which could also indicate that she herself falls under the category of mundane... | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 8:46:47 AM | My ex would frequently complain that I wasn't listening to her because I did not respond to her. She would then ask me to repeat what she said. When I did repeat verbatim what she said, she would ask why I didn't respond. SIMPLE. I didn't feel it warranted a response. If she had said she wanted a response, I would have responded. I am not going to talk if I have nothing to say! I am now glad she is my ex. Before the "no wonder you're single" responses come....I divorced her.
Does it make us think we appear intelligent? I can't speak for others...but it didn't make me feel anything. If a woman wants a response say so. Why waste words that aren't needed, just to hear yourself talk. If anyone cares to RESPOND to this, please respond to what I said...not what you think I said!
 ...JMO | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 8:48:07 AM | | You know, men who show emotion and are kind and considerate and listen -- are ignored and told they are too nice a guy, too much a wuss, etc. Don't you get the contradictions within the meme? "Nice guy? No. But show some emotion." The only emotion left would be non-nice ones. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 8:49:06 AM |
My ex would frequently complain that I wasn't listening to her because I did not respond to her. She would then ask me to repeat what she said. When I did repeat verbatim what she said, she would ask why I didn't respond. SIMPLE. I didn't feel it warranted a response.
Some people simply cannot discern between monologue and dialogue. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 9:01:12 AM | And landra thanks as well to you for the Vulcan mind meld to give an actual transcript of what's in a man's mind during a conversation received from an individual unfocused rambling female... lol...
(PS... does not apply to all females and not all the time... there is no gender hatred here or angst.... so save it ladies and don't succumb to becoming a hater...) . | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 9:11:53 AM | | Ahhhh yes daisypetal..... just as I thought.... please read my profile and see if I have something to say... then please review your comment and and then ask yourself are you being fair or are you using your own life experience to filter what u see.... I have no problem with dialogue .... even uncomfortable ones!!!.... but a monologue is not within my interest and is only to me a series of flaming darts intended to crush and/or dominate whether I am giving it or receiving it.... this is not conversation but domination.... So daisy please dialogue with me not monologue | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 9:13:26 AM | I know people to whom I listen with open ears, mind, and heart; then there are people with whom I dread getting into a conversation. For example, the women at work with young children who monopolize the lunchroom conversations about said children---well, I should actually thank them , I guess, becuase I am often driven to go outside and take a little walk rather than succumb to baby talk...
If the man in question NEVER listens, then that is a problem; however you cannot assume he doesn't care about her if he only disengages sometimes. I loved my ex-partner; that didn't mean I found his golf stories interesting. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 9:26:39 AM |
please read my profile and see if I have something to say..
I think it's funny as I read this, gentle, because MY profile is indicative of how I am in real life! I am very to the point. The whole thing is about two sentences, as I don't feel the need to just ramble. It says only what is needed, and not one word more!
...jmo | |
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