| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 8:49:06 AM |
My ex would frequently complain that I wasn't listening to her because I did not respond to her. She would then ask me to repeat what she said. When I did repeat verbatim what she said, she would ask why I didn't respond. SIMPLE. I didn't feel it warranted a response.
Some people simply cannot discern between monologue and dialogue. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 9:01:12 AM | And landra thanks as well to you for the Vulcan mind meld to give an actual transcript of what's in a man's mind during a conversation received from an individual unfocused rambling female... lol...
(PS... does not apply to all females and not all the time... there is no gender hatred here or angst.... so save it ladies and don't succumb to becoming a hater...) . | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 9:11:53 AM | | Ahhhh yes daisypetal..... just as I thought.... please read my profile and see if I have something to say... then please review your comment and and then ask yourself are you being fair or are you using your own life experience to filter what u see.... I have no problem with dialogue .... even uncomfortable ones!!!.... but a monologue is not within my interest and is only to me a series of flaming darts intended to crush and/or dominate whether I am giving it or receiving it.... this is not conversation but domination.... So daisy please dialogue with me not monologue | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 9:13:26 AM | I know people to whom I listen with open ears, mind, and heart; then there are people with whom I dread getting into a conversation. For example, the women at work with young children who monopolize the lunchroom conversations about said children---well, I should actually thank them , I guess, becuase I am often driven to go outside and take a little walk rather than succumb to baby talk...
If the man in question NEVER listens, then that is a problem; however you cannot assume he doesn't care about her if he only disengages sometimes. I loved my ex-partner; that didn't mean I found his golf stories interesting. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 9:26:39 AM |
please read my profile and see if I have something to say..
I think it's funny as I read this, gentle, because MY profile is indicative of how I am in real life! I am very to the point. The whole thing is about two sentences, as I don't feel the need to just ramble. It says only what is needed, and not one word more!
 ...jmo | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 9:43:46 AM | "What's with all of these men with tuxs and suits on? Is there a funeral I missed?"
This sort of monologue exactly validates a mans desire to retreat from the female communication cycle that is directed not at the issues but at the person .... that sort of gratuitous and directed personal attack is what repels thinking and intellectual, stable men of good character.... Yes there is a funeral and that is the death of civility .... but I wear a tux as a show of celebration of life, dignity, joy and hope.... Never have I seen a tux at a funeral.... maybe I am in the wrong pert of the country.... I have seen tuxes at weddings, inaugurations, dinners, charity balls, etc.... And these events are celebrations of life, hope, goodness, charity, and future leadership.... Or is it just me???? IMHO | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 9:50:44 AM |
He remembers what she said- just no opinion on it nor does he compliment her on things. No interest in sharing the past nor the future. Just being together. I have not had that experience but seems like others had. What's up with this type of man?
Awwwww, poor little snookums, the guy doesn't spend every moment of his life looking for ways to make the woman feel better about herself....
.... My experience with the converstion divide is that women love to yap about how deficient men are when it comes to communication, but most women just talk, not communicate....
.... or, they communicate AT you, not WITH you....
.... and it is so very tedious trying to pay attention to endless drivel.
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 12:31:54 PM | The problem I envision happening here is that SOME women/men tend to come across as whiners and b1tchers..... it is all about the tone, context, and validity, IMO.
If you need to find out something about your mate, watch your approach, there is a way to ask certain things without making your partner cringe.
I don't think it has anything to do with intellect, or lack thereof, at all. I have dated many men whom I considered intellectual, who had no problems communicating their feelings/emotions to me.
Its all in the approach. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 12:47:27 PM | I don't tend to encounter men in my circle of friends or relationships who don't share their feelings, but then maybe it's me. I'm more often told that they've shared things/feelings with me that they never have with anyone else. These have all been intelligent men.
I have, however, encountered those who think they are intellects because they are constantly flapping their yaps, and by doing so, believe they are intelligent, but constantly prove they are anything but. | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 12:54:53 PM | ok im going to let u know what a guy is thinking when u are talking and talk and talking.
he is hearing wank wank wank..boobs.wank wank wank...mmm angelina....wank wank wank..wonder if she will have a 3 way with her mother ...wank wank wank.i could go for a beer,wank wank wank wonder what games on tonight,wank wank wank,wonder how fast my truck would go if i took the bed of it off,wank wank wank,
so what do u think dear.i couldnt agree more hun.lets take a shower together to comemorate this great talk we had
thats the workings of a guys mind hope you understand now | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 1:21:18 PM | (yes...it was funny!! lol)
For me, it would depend on if it happened all the time, or once in awhile, what the topic of conversation is, etc. Sometimes...people just aren't in 'talking/listening' mode. I know I'm not, always. I try to be considerate of that, as well. I've been known to say 'Hey...we'll talk later.' Not a problem for me.
Of course..I've also been known to serve a curve ball every once in awhile. Inserting something nonsensical into the mix. Like: "I've got to check on the attorney tomorrow to (elephant and pink lilacs) see where he is at on his end." Gets a smile everytime! lol
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 1:44:07 PM |
Ahhh...verity...I see you are as devoted as ever...
I see I still rate long posts and ....My Goodness, Grandma Wolf....what long memories you have! Buy me a coffee??
I went back and looked at that thread...about your "stepfather" views of open sexuality in front of kids...your sexuality. It's there. You brought it up in this thread.....Need I say more?
Nope. It wouldn't serve your antics well of attemtping to cast negative aspersions of me in a public forum now would it?
But let me help you out a bit in your attempts. Here's the thread in question, at the point in which I entered the thread, and the subsequent reasons for your axe to grind with me... :
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/11910947datingPostpage4.aspx
There is NO excuse for deliberate rudeness and zoning out.
Pot, meet Kettle... | |
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| Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects
Posted: 4/10/2009 1:57:24 PM | Communication is a two way street. If one is yattering on about something that fascinates you but is completely mind numbing for the other, then you've got to give them points for staying present to the conversation (which they are likely doing out of interest in you, rather than the subject), but it is going a bit far to expect or demand them to have an opinion on the topic.
But being present to a conversation and the level of participation in it can NOT be automatically attributed to not being able or willing to share feelings nor of intellect.
^^ As a case in point, one might be exhibiting a high level of intellect in NOT sharing ones feeling that this conversation is mindless yattering. Arguably, one would do this out of a high regard for the person... in other words "I very much care for you even tho' you do go on a bit".
I don't expect to be interested in everything my fellow is interested in but, because I am interested in him, I am interested in hearing how ilife occurs for him. | |
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