| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 9:46:24 AM | ^^^I have never judged you. You are making a mountain out of something that was irrelevant to your situation. I clearly stated that MEN that leave their children behind.
I am no longer responding to you. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 11:18:12 AM | | I really can't say it any better than sum1real and cpuproforhire did. It has nothing to do with fear, it's just a lousy situation to get involved in. I hope that the single moms out there don't get defensive and just take that info for what it is, the simple facts. I dated quite a few single moms and really admire how hard it is they work to take care of their kids alone, but at a certain point I had to face the fact that I'm not "secure", "man enough", whatever you want to call it, to find happiness in that kind of circumstance and so I no longer waste their time or mine. There are some wonderful women out there, but I really think single moms should spread the word amongst other women to do everything they can to avoid that predicament if they reasonably can. It makes it very hard for a good guy to make those kinds of sacrifices, and most can't or won't. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 11:26:36 AM | | Perhaps men are stupid! Yes of course we may suffer from a hundred forms of fear. But I think it's our stupidity that is really infinite in nature. You're thread has generated much response. And I will say this about priorities. If I had been a better husband to my ex-wife then I would have automatically been a better father because I would still be the family man I always should've been. If god is involved then that could be the number one priority. Otherwise it has to be self followed by significant other. The best thing for a child to see is that their parents or role models love eachother. Everything else will fall into place. We tried prioritizing the kids first. This really doesn't work out in the long run. It was never the kid you fell in love with in the FIRST place. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 11:57:23 AM | reply for sassy
the real issue in your case is that you have chosen (i presume voluntarily) to have children in a way that is considered to be outside the norm in most societies........and the 'norm' is the frame of reference by which people use to make a decision on whether or not a certain situation is deemed acceptable or not......some pple, have a higher threshold that may extend their acceptance beyond the 'norm' more than some others would...but many probably don't....therefore, when a given man becomes aware of your situation, he will likely develop a feeling of unease since he now knows that you do not conform to the 'norm'......the label that he places on you is just a function of where he thinks you stand based upon this 'norm'. this is not an indictment against you as a person or as a mom!
you may say that it is an unfair judgment, but then who determines what's fair.....this man who you say ran off may very well believe that his judgment of you was quite fair (assuming the facts of this matter were reasonably clear)!
the statement you made "if men are that shallow to judge so quickly".....is a judgment in and of itself!
in the example you stated (about EX's), obviously these men have unresolved issues, but what i was referring to is an embittered ex who is constantly fomenting trouble for the other in one way or another (this is usually done passively)....this is quite a common scenario, but i am not saying that this applies to you necessarily! | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 30 | |
| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 12:57:00 PM | sum1reel
im not taking offence..i simply wish to hear why men feel the way they do about single mums.
thank you for your opinion. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 1:07:55 PM | at this point Ive wrote alot of ladys and most have turned me away because of the kids ,Im looking at ladys that have kids and still getting shot down I know there are a few out there mature enough to handle a father taking care of his business but so far I havent had one step up to bat with me ,Im up for any takers that fit my preferences,Bring on the kids ,Im a daddy ,I can handle it.And if they cant deal with it pitch um and find a better one thats got the goods. | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 32 | |
| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 1:14:17 PM | ARLIE 1969
you sound fab hunni..im sure you'll soon have a list of women wanting to bat with you!
can i be the first on ur list?  | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 1:18:41 PM | Step up to the plate honey,I can treat you like you deserve ,not the way most of these guys treat women,the only reason my 27 year old ex and I didnt work out is because she couldnt keep her knees together when she went out with her friends.So IM A KEEPER FOR THE RIGHT LADY. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 5:07:48 PM | Dude, don't go hatin' on your brothers just to score points on a chat board. Most guys treat women about the same way most women treat men.
What exactly would be your idea of "treating her like she deserves"? Tossing her the keys to a Benz and sending her off to Rodeo Drive with your credit cards while you care for not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 of some other guys' kids? You're not a keeper dude, you're a sucker! | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 6:40:33 PM |
What exactly would be your idea of "treating her like she deserves"? Tossing her the keys to a Benz and sending her off to Rodeo Drive with your credit cards while you care for not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 of some other guys' kids? You're not a keeper dude, you're a sucker!
You are saying that when I was taking care of my husband's daughter, when he was out of the country working, that I was a sucker?
That is a rather shallow statement isn't it? I call it working as a team! | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 7:09:26 PM | I wasn't talking about (nor do I know anything about) your situation. My point was that my boy felt like he had to stomp down on the rest of us in order to floss for someone that he would likely go running from at the speed of light if he ever had to put his $$$ and time where his mouth was in the real world. If he really went around showering goddess worship on single moms with a train of kids in tow, I'm sure it would take him about 3 seconds to find a taker.
BTW, I'm happy to hear you have such a great team. So WTF are you doing on a dating site? Looking for someone to cheat on your teammate with? | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 7:13:38 PM |
BTW, I'm happy to hear you have such a great team. So WTF are you doing on a dating site? Looking for someone to cheat on your teammate with?
Read post #23  | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 39 | |
| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/1/2005 11:56:22 PM | point of this thread is dissapearing is it not?
YOUR PET LION....dont judge a book by its cover, if i find my soul mate on here i shall still come into these forums!! doesnt make me a two timer..just means i like these discussions! | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/2/2005 10:22:20 AM |
Why do I get the feeling your teammate wouldn't see it that way.
If you are unable to trust your partner, then there is nothing to build together. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/2/2005 10:43:47 AM | hey lion If you think sticking together like a bunch of punks makes you a man than go ahead,my self Im not trying to impress anyone ,Im just telling my side and I came on here to have my voice heard ,and If what I said is a problem for you than thats exactly what it is your problem.ladys I guess Im standing alone but not changeing my mind If the trust is there lets do it. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/2/2005 11:12:58 AM | hats of to you arlie i feel the same way as you . i"m standing alone too  | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/2/2005 11:27:37 AM | | DUDE ,ITS ASSES LIKE LION IS WHY WE GET SO MUCH HEART ACHE AND GRIEF FROM THE GOOD GIRLS AND IM FED UP BROTHER ,I NEED A GOOD WOMAN AND WANT THESE LADYS TO KNOW THAT WE STAND ALONE ON OUR OWN AND MAKE DECISIONS BY OUR SELVES NOT AS A GROUP OF BOYS BUT AS A MAN TRYING TO BE JUST THAT A MAN .GLAD TO HEAR SOMEONE DOING THE SAME THANKS. | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 44 | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/2/2005 11:48:09 AM | I tell ya sasssy I could use one myself.lion pointed out the perfect reason why ladys are gun shy about us because they think we are all alike and that is so far from the truth,Im not any better than anyone else on here,but we all make the right and wrong choices in this life ,but there ours to make and we answer to them.And Ill BE DAMNED IF Im going to condemn a woman because she has something as preciouse as kids ,It AINT HAPPENING,so were alone in our beliefs,but together in this world ,and it would be nice to find someone to charrish those babys and feelings with .  | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 47 | |
| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/2/2005 1:07:05 PM | true man i dissagree
there seems to be this myth that these days all people want is looks money and all materialistic things.
take a look at couples walking down the street hand in hand..normal average every day people all different shapes and sizes yet so madly in love. not all of them are rich or have amazing looks.
id rather have an unemployed 5'0 man who can make me laugh till i cry than a 6'3 model with a personality like a brick any day! | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/2/2005 1:20:55 PM | It appears as if my ex is about to abandon her children. However, I will not make sweeping generalizations about 'all women' from my experience. From my own personal frame of reference, there are a lot of single dads out there with full custody (and most of them don't seem to be getting a penny in support).
But, again...I know better than to make sweeping generalizations. Most of my friends are wonderful parents. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/2/2005 1:28:41 PM | | sassy well i have mistated that it . it seems to me it"s that way. i feel the same way you do i rather have an average looking lady with no money over a model with lots of money. i believe in whats in the heart that really matters | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 7/2/2005 1:30:52 PM | | victor i"m a single dad i have full custody of my 3 beautiful girls and i have custody of my ex fiance 2 girls who recently passed away and i get no child support . | |
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