| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 2:41:58 AM | I like what champi had to say..
I didn't meet my father til I was about 7 when he decided that he had time for me..thats when my life got complicated.
I ended up giving up my life and friends to go spend every summer with him. Its not that I didn't have fun..he baught me a fourwheeler took me camping fishing..u name it.
But I had to leave my friends and the rest of my family for months at a time during the summer..also it inter-f'd with my baseball which I loved!
I have a seven year old..the sweetest girl i'v ever known! Even though her mom and I broke up when she was 6 months old I have always been there for her since day one. I used to have her every other week..and now have her every other weekend mainly because of school and i'm gone a lot during the week for work.
I pay child support too..oh and my youngin tells me that i'm the best dad she's ever had:) It feels great! | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 4:43:16 AM | i think its woemn who are scared to commit to men..well thats what i have found as my wife walked out in march 2006 and left me to raise our kids and she hasnt botherd to see them...she also left me with a debt of £75,000 so i,m having to go bankrupt. I'm not sayin this is all women just some are scared to really get to know the genuine guy....i have alsways given my all in my marriage but it seemed that wasnt enough because my wifes job at the airport where she works someone offerd her a bit more and she took it and run from us. Yes i am now scared that my life wil stop because i have a disabilty but it wont stop me loving my kids as they come first last and always. I have tried too hard i think to make friends on this site but thats prooved impossible simply i think because of my disability or the fact i have children or i dont fit the bill, so are women scared ? there's an old saying... never judge a book by its cover its whats inside that counts... ya never know it could be a good read...
thanks anyway i got that off my chest now...take care all and dont be to tuff on me will ya. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 8:23:21 AM | mexistyle2003- AWWWW your very nice!! Your lucky to have a boy, maybe one day I will have another and hope for a boy..lol!! The biggest turn on for a ME is a single dad that ROCKS!! From what I hear from you Mexistyle YOU ROCK..lol!!  Hope things are well for you in Alaska!!
Your BC admirer!!  | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 8:41:22 AM | john6-81-Your comments are rude and unnecessary!! I am sure you could right a chronicle about Street Walkers because with that attitude I would be suprised if you could get laid WITHOUT having to pay for it!! Not to mention your are FUUUUUUUGLY!!! Go eat some food you look like your drowning in your own coelom!!!
When you decide to sh!t out of your mouth again make sure it's a thread you know something about!! And for your street walking comment...they may not have kids cause their body is so messed up from the drugs they use or the STDs they have encountered that it may make it impossible!! Like Scarface would say.."jur whom is so polluted ju can't have any babies!!" | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 8:43:29 AM | I don't know how to highlight the paragraph I am responding too..makes it look like I am saying those things..hahaha!! HELP???
I would also like to say that some people have great opinions!! In my personal experience I find it hard raising 2 daughters with 2 different fathers although the first father is not in the picture at all and the second is active in BOTH their lives!! ONLY because some people do judge and it's a shame!!
I was young when I had my first..pregnant at 15, I thought I was in love and we were together for 4 years!! My second I was with for almost 7 years and we had my second daughter!! Now...everyones situation is different! I don't believe it makes me a whore, I don't believe that my children should be taken away from me beacuse I had them by different fathers!! I am NOT fixed and hope that one day I will meet someone great, maybe get married and possibly have another baby (hoping a boy this time)!! Does that make me a whore??
I think that the world and sex has gone in a completely different direction and it is hard to find a lasting relationship!! It's easy to get married and divorced, lot's of temptation and mixing of the partners!! Some may want to settle and fall in love and have kids and then all of a sudden the relationship fails!! Then what?? You have a broken home and get a title of a Whore for not being able to keep your man or for sending him packing??? So a single dad that was left with or chose to have his child/children live with him is also a whore?? I say: SH!T HAPPENS AND YOU ALL NEED TO GROW UP!!
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 9:24:53 AM | john i will humour you and try and take little offence ...
...not everything is a black and white as you would like.
Em, you do get points for your respectful response and no doubt expressing my views was a little harsh. From the way you write you appear reasonably intelligent and it is likely that you are compassionate. Nevertheless, there must be something that is not right. There is no reasonable explanation for a well adjusted mother to have 4 children by 4 fathers.
I would be suprised if you could get laid WITHOUT having to pay for it!! Not to mention your are FUUUUUUUGLY!!! ...Go eat some food...
OMG, Badgirl! Another women with two children by different fathers at age 25 and she is not even married to the second father. Although you will deny it and despite you name calling, the fact is, if I choose, I could easily have you, but you would have no chance to have me; not even for one night.
As for your eating comment: Have you taken a look in the mirror lately? You would look much better if you would feed your mouth less. Better yet if you would open your mouth less, you could loose the extra pounds and you wouldn't sound so boorish.
I'm only giving you good advice which hopefully you will take. In any event, I don't wish a flame war so I will not respond to any more of your comments. | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 132 | |
| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 10:39:11 AM | john, i am intelligent. i come from a respectable family and we were taught to respect others and obviously you have been also-tho sadly not all who have responded have learnt the same tact ;)
perhaps i have no real need to justify my actions and as someone else pointed out, no-one here really cares what i say or what i think..its only words.
however, I care and i want others to know that not all of us with multiple fathers are whores, bad parents or uneducated people.
at 17 i fell pregnant with my now 13 yr old daughter. i never used protection and believed that it 'wouldnt happen to me'. i had known this boy since i was 14 and was in a relationship with him for a year and a half prior to my pregnancy. my parents were mortified and shamed but stood by me none the less and i lived with them for the first couple of years. he left me when i was 5 months gone. he was a kid..i didnt blame him back then.
in 1997 my fiance commited suicide after a row we had, i went off the rails and fell for a bad man and purposely got myself pregnant with our now 8 yr old son. im glad i did and regret nothing because being pregnant with him, in fact saved me from this man and brought me to my senses. stupid yes, but untill you feel utter blame for another person taking their own life-you can simply not judge how you would feel or what you would do. lets just say, having my son kept me alive.
in 2000 i married a man i had known since my eldests birth-i convinced myself that i loved him as he was/IS a good kind man and a wonderful father to my children. i wanted my family to see that i could do the right thing and be a 'normal' person.everyone in my family adored him and he adored me and my children. so we married and i gave him our daughter as he was desperate for a child of his own-and rightly so. i wont go into grim details but when you 'pretend' to love someone, it will never work and after two years he moved out. my family has never forgiven me.
then 3 years ago i met my youngest sons father and fell for him in every way possible. the pregnancy was an accident, we were both shocked beyond belief and i was booked in for an abortion. however at the dating scan it showed a clot bigger than the featus (scuse spelling) and the doctors said the pregnancy only had a 20% chance. we both decided to leave it in the hands of the gods. if our baby was meant-he'd survive.
during the pregnancy my ex became possessive. would call me all day, check my mobile phone when i was sleeping and cause rows if i didnt answer when called. i ended the relationship near the time my son was due.
now, no, perhaps i wasnt well adjusted..but as a youngster, i never planned this life-if my children followed the same path i have, i would be distraught! i didnt meet these men and think "right lets just get the baby then drop them"..i made bad choices and i have learnt the hard way but never once have i regretted my children. i wanted these relationships to work and perhaps if id kept at them and stuck with them through the bad, then maybe i wouldnt be where i am now.
there need not be a flame war over this thread-i didnt start this to attack men and apologies if it sounded as such. just remember that SOME people are not all they seem..some of us have morals, we just made the wrong choices.
and im so soooooo sorry for such a long winded post! | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 12:30:16 PM | Just a note ...
I have met and am PROUD to say that BadGirl4U2NV is a friend. Not only is she an amazingly strong woman and absolutely wonderful to be around, but she is an amazing mother with amazingly wonderful children. I would go so far to say is one of the most wonderufl women and mothers Ive met not just on this site, but in general throughout life.
She has a wonderful sense of values and morals and beliefs shes holds strong and doesnt waver from. Things happen in life, because one mate doesnt work out, does NOT mean I life should go on hold.
Any of you.. men or women.. should take a page out of this womans book, as far as a person goes and as far as a parent goes. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 1:13:25 PM | | All men I know love their children and have court orders to see them. I have personally documented over 265 single fathers who play the game that demands they go to court each time their is a problem. many "mothers" move around from provence to provence and have NO job as an excuse. Others change their mind and offer No excuses and give NO other dates for re-visit and rescheduling appointments. Mine was crazy and in contempt of court several times. As she BEAT the children I got custody eventuallly and she LIED her way out of that. They slapped her on the wrist and refused to insist on Police Enforced Visits. After I had a psychritrist DECLARE her "Insane" they still refused to "disturb the children". I gave up. I never expected that. I saw many other ,men give up before and swore I would never do that. the only guy I know who sees his kids regularly is a multi -millionaire and even he has been to court in Canada (there is NO statute of limitations) by his crazy ex over 300 times for the same thing. The judges say please stop comming as we cannot control the women and its wasting time and money. Cry wolf is a famous shamefull pastime of unscroupolous women and the country if full of them. Last heard my kids were up for adoption in a foreign country and state. the Ottawa G.G. tried to intervene and they were in several abusive claims against their own mother. Its a nightmare. Until the law actually guarantees joint custody for all parents unless there is a proven criminal conviction this will go on and on. My social workers said I was the best father they ever had seen and they cry to hear about the children's plight. i feel worse when someone asks me or just assumes I don't care. I cry regularly. You can bet the women who says the dad dosen't care are outright ****es. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 1:15:57 PM | I don't know how to highlight the paragraph I am responding too..makes it look like I am saying those things..hahaha!! HELP???
I would also like to say that some people have great opinions!! In my personal experience I find it hard raising 2 daughters with 2 different fathers although the first father is not in the picture at all and the second is active in BOTH their lives!! ONLY because some people do judge and it's a shame!!
I was young when I had my first..pregnant at 15, I thought I was in love and we were together for 4 years!! My second I was with for almost 7 years and we had my second daughter!! Now...everyones situation is different! I don't believe it makes me a whore, I don't believe that my children should be taken away from me beacuse I had them by different fathers!! I am NOT fixed and hope that one day I will meet someone great, maybe get married and possibly have another baby (hoping a boy this time)!! Does that make me a whore??
I think that the world and sex has gone in a completely different direction and it is hard to find a lasting relationship!! It's easy to get married and divorced, lot's of temptation and mixing of the partners!! Some may want to settle and fall in love and have kids and then all of a sudden the relationship fails!! Then what?? You have a broken home and get a title of a Whore for not being able to keep your man or for sending him packing??? So a single dad that was left with or chose to have his child/children live with him is also a whore?? I say: SH!T HAPPENS AND YOU ALL NEED TO GROW UP!!
You are not a Whore but a good mother doing the best she can.
A 7 year relationship is longer than many marriages today.
I looked at your profile and you are 25 and have you mail setting 22-35 for age.
That is very open about age... but many women set their limit at 5 year older max.
You judge a man not by his age but the goodness of his heart.
and also his ass too lol
A man will be lucky to marry you someday.
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 3:32:40 PM | North Exposed- Hey big guy  Thank you for having my back!! You are also an extremely wonderful parent with a lot of really great qualities and any woman would be EXTREMELY lucky to enjoy someone as passionate, loving, caring, respectful, honest, and as DAMN SEXY as you are!! I'm excited about our next visit!! I hope this time you bring your daughter..we will have a blast the 5 of us | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 3:56:04 PM | john6-81- I don't believe I said if was married or not!! Thank God I never did because it would just be another divorce statistic!! You are assuming I would deny it...that's not in my character!! Unfortunately you are EXTREMELY misinformed...YOU WOULD NEVER "HAVE ME"!! Not many have EVER had me or will EVER get me!! You again are assuming I am easy and that would be a foolish mistake!! AND don't flatter yourself I would NEVER want or even think about looking at you..let alone actually "having you" but thanks
EVERY pound on me is worth the 2 beautiful children I have and I wouldn't trade that experience for the entire world!!! Instead of giving advice you should just close your mouth and suck it up! I know that your only defence is to fight back and thats ok Good luck.. you most certainly need it!! | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 4:01:24 PM | hey badgirl....... i must comment on the above ***holeeeooo ^^^^^ up there...
only we know what kind of parents we are....if we truly honestly believe in ourselves and want only the best for our children then we are heroes to ourselves and our babies.
Only the priveleged few who know us know what kind of ppl we are and its a waste of energy to justify we are good parents.We know we are...our kids know we are and thats all that matters.
We all make mistakes...we hope to learn from them...some never learn...some change thier lives because of them.AS long as we know we are awesome...thats all tha really counts...
take care babe.. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 6:25:24 PM | | I know what everyone means about sperm donars, thats what my son has. And its hard to find someone who can respect that. My son's father has never been in his life. Never made an effort to even see him. I have never told him he couldn't see him and I've always left the door open. He knows where I am and where to find me but he choses not to. He calls about every 5 months saying he wants to see him but the way I see it, if he wants to see him he can come down to my home because I am not going to take my son to see him when I know for a fact that my son will play shy because he'll have no idea who this man is. But every man has his choice. And its hard trying to play both the mom and dad, that I do agree that every child needs both parents, but sometimes it just doesn't work that way. And its hard trying to find a guy who wants that kind of responsibily. Trust me. My last boyfriend ended up leaving because he couldn't "deal" with it anymore, but claimed he still loved me and wanted to work things out, and that he still wanted to spend time with my son because he loved him too, but he hasn't seen him since we broke up. But its not my loss. The was I see it, its his. His loss on a great person, and in a great childs life. But as for right now its hard working a full time job and being a full time mother. I even went back to work when he was 3 months because maternity benefits don't give you nothing..lol I didn't want to go back so early but I didn't have a choice because I am not getting support from his father. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 8:05:52 PM | Em, your posts are very respectful so my comment about a flame war was not meant for you but for another poster that I will not respond to.
I must admit that what I had concocted up in my mind is many times worse than the facts as you present them. You admit you made mistakes and have learned from them. I do believe it is not unlikely that you are attracted to the wrong type of man and keep selecting similar men. I have read that this is common especially with abused wives that keep choosing abusive men.
I wish you well, but I know your situation makes it challenging. It is difficult enough for most men to accept a lady with four children. With different fathers you must work extra hard to resolve the trust issues. Nevertheless, most men are not as uncompromising as I am. In any event, you should not have to keep proving yourself to a man and I hope you will be able to avoid overly possessive men. My own opinion is, if it comes to push vs. shove, that you will sacrifice a little in looks and chemistry for a man with greater compassion and understanding. However, I understand if the chemistry is not there, the relationship may not work. | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 8/28/2006 8:41:42 PM | to champi
cheers to you for being one of the good guys
people need to understand that as soon as you become parents you have to put your differences aside and BOTH be there; evenif you can't stand the sight of each other
suck it up and get over it for the sake of your kids | |
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| PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED??
Posted: 11/25/2006 2:06:47 PM | | Wow sounds like people in this conversation have VERY diffenent and some very rude perceptions of single parents. I have 2 kids and they have different fathers. I left my sons father because he physically abused me when I was pregnant. I then met my daughters father when my son was 3 months old. He was in the US army deployed to Iraq when we met. When he got home I went to seattle to visit him and we would still be together today. But unfortunally G.W.B cant fight his own wars and sent my husbands unit to Iraq again and he never came home. So with all that said. Does that make me a bad person? Does that mean Im a whore? NO. Some people just have issuses and are jealous of other. So to all the single parents out there. dont take offence to loser that talk S**T cause they have nothing and cant figure out why. It just mean they never will. | |
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