| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/6/2009 6:06:46 PM | that isnt true.. they can only take a certain percentage, and actually in my case, since i have better ability to make more money, they wont raise mine, even when i was out of work for a year taking care of my disabled child, now aint that the shit?
he isnt grudgingly paying, he needs to contact the child support office and ask for a conference about his income. by law he has to pay, by law, they can not take more than he can afford. shoot, I wish I could get more than my 200.00 by my grudging ex, who doesnt care a whit. | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/6/2009 6:31:38 PM |
Oh that statement pisses me off!!!!!! I'm a single mom. I work more then 1 job to provide for my family. When my ex was making $30/hr he did not put any money aside while things were getting set up with FRO. When I asked for some help with things the kids needed, he stated that's what child supports for. I said I'm not getting any and he said that's what you wanted isn't it. Well I made it through, my kids got what they needed. He's now in arrears and wanting to get it lowered because he too is out of a job. Do I feel sorry for him - no. When he should've been helping support his kids, he was out living the life of reilly while I worked my butt off. It sucks to be him. The kids shouldn't suffer because he wanted to be an ass.
Now I wonder what you were earning when he was earning $30 per hour?
So he pays cs based on $30 per hour. and when he is out of work he should pay based on what he is earning. But woman suggest you pay on what it costs to raise a child...or are you looking for child support based on income?
You pay child support and you are liable for child support based on the time and the court order.
But you are right. a child should not suffer because of any parent. And that includes you.....or me.
So he did not put money aside....he falls in arrears...yet he has to go back to court to get things reduced even if he is not earning an income....and the arrears continues to build.
asses come in both genders, it is just the perspective that is different. | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/13/2009 9:33:48 AM | In north carolina, they base it off BOTH parents income, if it changes significantly, either way, it will increase or decrease.
I pay support for my child because the LAW says I have to, AND I am morally obligated to take care of my offspring. I also pay for things such as clothing, haircuts, school pics etc. These things i pay for outside of support, which i dont have a problem with, what I DO have a problem with is she using the money I give to HER for HIS CARE, she uses on HERSELF for things like satellite TV, new clothing and jewelry for HERSELF.
I was never married to her, and not required to pay her alimony, but it straight out pisses me off when i get the letters in the mail saying she wants an increase, yet she is NOT required to show what she is using it on.
Shouldnt we as fathers, paying support, have a say on what its being used ON, or at least know what shes using it on?
Dont tell me it all goes for food and housing, there is no way my son is eating groceries to the tune of over $400.00 a month, if so, he'd be as big as jabba the hutt lol | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/13/2009 9:43:18 AM | | SUGGESTION ONLY. I don't know where your case is filed for child support and visitation but you need to file judicial forms to move the court for a modification of child support. The judge will determine and make the decision. | |
|
| |
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/13/2009 12:10:20 PM | | WOW there is a whole lot of complaining going on first off, I'm a single parent and I get 221 a month in child support and yes it helps but NO its not enough. Even if he only paid half of what it takes to take care of a child I would like to see anybody raise a kid on 442 a month. I'm not b**ching honestly I would never asked for another dime. I would rather spend more time with my daughter then get more money. And as for the idiot who posted this discussion to begin with if you were my kids father i would print off your profile and take it to court. Any man who will post on a public website that he smokes crack should never be able to see his kids PERIOD. I hope that you dont get your child support lowered if you can afford crack you can afford child support get off your ass and make the money you were making I've worked a full time and 2 part time jobs to make sure i had enough money to afford anything my kid needed maybe you should do the same, instead of complaining about what you dont make, and bragging about how you dont work 6 months out of the year! | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/14/2009 11:07:15 AM | the ones that should be complaining are the fathers that pay these enormous amounts of support, yet their children come to them in ripped up shabby clothing and unkempt...
where's the money going? | |
|
| |
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/14/2009 7:25:08 PM | I feel for you, but at least you get child support. The state that I live in claims that they cannot locate my child's father, and after the 5th time that I had to file the stupid form, I said to hell with it. My child doesn't want for anything!  | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/14/2009 7:39:45 PM |
I get 221 a month in child support and yes it helps but NO its not enough.
So how much would be enough? If it's not enough you are then saying your child is not getting what it needs - shelter, food , clothes. But then you say you are working to provide that. So what you really are saying is you want MORE support so YOU don't have to work as much even though you have the child full-time and the payor does not. | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/14/2009 8:13:32 PM |
I've worked a full time and 2 part time jobs to make sure i had enough money to afford anything my kid needed
Really? Where's the store where you can buy quality time and love? | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/14/2009 8:36:24 PM | | first thing not all women use money for themselves.... i have never received a dime from my ex who said he wanted nothing more then a family... i put my education/career on hold gave him a beautiful daughter and he couldn't even be bothered to hold her. $400 doesn't go far.... remember have to pay for rent.... food... clothes... toys... books... all my money goes to my daughter.... also paying off the 40k of debt my ex left me with cuz we had to have a truck.... all my money goes to my daughter... i work long hours for a crap job... all my time and energy goes to my daughter... I lost my job for awhile... i had to go into debt to provide for her so why does a man feel justified to say oh i'm not working i'll pay it later... still have to provide for that child. I also have education funds for my daughter... so whats my ex excuse for not paying his child support cuz he's worried I'd use it on myself? I haven't bought myself anything since I had my daughter! Women have less money when we have children cuz we're often the ones that stay home and lose out on the economic benefits of being in the work force.... there is a reason why its called the feminization of poverty! So it is nice to see that there are guys that do pay their support but jeez how do u know where the money is going? i easily spend 500 a month on my daughter.... toys, clothes, books, diapers, education funds.... just tired of the excuse... well i don't want to give my ex money cuz its not going to the child.... please! what if u had to pay a nanny to look after ur child! Daycare isn't cheap... | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/14/2009 10:00:01 PM |
i put my education/career on hold gave him a beautiful daughter
Next time don't do that.
remember have to pay for rent.... food... clothes... toys... books.
You have to pay rent for yourself anyway. You do not need to buy clothes and toys and books every month. Get a library card.
also paying off the 40k of debt my ex left me with cuz we had to have a truck
Sell the truck, pay off the debt and get a bus pass.
i work long hours for a crap job
Then do something in the meantime to better your situation. He's not going to do it for you, more support isn't going to change it. So take responsibility for your family and change your circumstance yourself. Stop blaming everything else and waste the next 18 years doing so.
Women have less money when we have children cuz we're often the ones that stay home and lose out on the economic benefits of being in the work force
Not if you are a smart woman who contributes equally.
i easily spend 500 a month on my daughter.... toys, clothes, books, diapers, education funds
Then don't spend so much on things she does not need. If you can't afford rent or food then don't be investing in an education fund right now. If you do not start being the responsible adult and parent NOW she's likely not going to be using the fund anyways - cycle repeats cycle. Live as though you don't receive support at all, then when you do receive it invest THAT amount in the education fund. No one is going to change your life but you, and spending the next 18 years being resentful HE never gave you more money will not make your family any better. Be another of the few single parents who broke the stereotypes and did it on their own, leading happy and successful lives and being role models for their kids. | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/15/2009 5:17:22 AM | Amen Amore, I get tired of hearing the 'poor me, I am a single mom' excuse. My mom raised SIX of us ON HER OWN, without a DIME of support! Yeah, I went without ALOT of luxuries and things other kids had. Yes, she had some help from family, but the majority of it she did HERSELF.
People need to learn to be self sufficient nowadays. I hate to say this, but people are spoiled in the generations that have followed mine. This doesnt mean ALL people are, just some. | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/15/2009 8:30:46 PM | | alright maybe my thing did come across as whinny... but just saying that "not all women spend their child support on themselves... that they do use it for their children too"... I have my BA 6 yrs of upper education... but a woman does lose economic opportunities because we are home with our children... but we do get the benefit of being with our babies... I am upgrading... taking other courses as well as working 7 days a week. My job lets me work nights so I can be home with my daughter during the day. And I do love being with my child. I don't get anything from my ex never have and never will. I consider myself lucky that I'm able to provide for my daughter and save for her education which I believe is essential. Just too many guys out there saying I don't want to pay my support cuz "I don't want my ex to use it on herself." All I'm saying is that not all women are going to do that and I think its an excuse not to pay. Even if I did recieve money from my ex I would use it for my daughter not for me. I am responsible adult. I DON'T RECEIVE ANY SUPPORT want to make that clear. And I pay rent, buy food and pay my bills on time. Just venting my fustration so I can be a happy successful mother for my daughter. Everyone needs a vent. I'm still trying to sell the truck but I don't know anyone that wants to buy a truck in this economy and I do have a bus pass. But the feminization of poverty is a real thing. When a man leaves he usually sees an economic incline while those left behind suffer hardships... all I'm saying is that maybe the guy should think about all the expenses a woman has to pay for a child (rent, clothing, diapers) and maybe they deserve to use some of their child support for bills so that they can use their money on themselves every once in awhile... | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/16/2009 2:56:33 AM | My turn to vent child support is bullshit if you were both fair you would have the child half the time with no support for either parent and you would make that work for the sake of the child. No matter how you slice it someone is getting shafted in one way or the other.
My ex complains about having my kids more than she wants but when I offer to take them and reverse rolls she is not for paying me support but is happy to take it from me. By the way my salary has gone down since my divorce and I pay the same support.
I would like to know where you get your information on males incline in pay after divorce because I am not seeing it. We could sit here all day and complain but our situation but you are just going to have to suck it up like the rest of us. Our justice system is not fair whether it be our spouse or the legal system unless it is done as described earlier it is not fair to anyone.
People need to quit expecting other people to take care of them. Give him your child half the time and use the extra time to make more money unless your BA is in basket weaving you shouldn't have trouble getting a job. You ever think that maybe the father would like more time with his child or are you just selfish. | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/16/2009 8:44:30 AM | | ^^^^^ Finally someone with something sensible to say! I agree, both parents are responsible for their children in all aspects. It's the ones that try to weasel out of caring that should not have had children in the first place. If you don't respect and love your family then you are NOTHING.... | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:36:15 AM | | It would be great to have someone to share the time with but my ex has been more of a sperm donner. Hasn't seen her in a year. I send pictures which I doubt he even looks at and updates on her development. I even bring her to see his parents cuz I know they love their grandchild. But I can't get him to spend time with her. He wouldn't hold her when we were together. Its not a matter of me being selfish its a matter of him not wanting to be involved. | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:29:10 AM |
My ex complains about having my kids more than she wants but when I offer to take them and reverse rolls she is not for paying me support but is happy to take it from me.
Mine has no problem letting me spend more time with my daughter now because she's got the support already lined up. But she does start pulling in the reigns when she thinks we're flirting with the 60/40 split. I think she thinks I'm keeping track of every last second to try and get out of support because that's the kind of thing she would do. I know we're probably very close to that split, but I don't keep track so I honestly have no idea how close it really is. I'm not about micromanaging my daughter's time to try and find a way to get out of support, spending the time with her is what really matters. Her life isn't going to be one giant documentfest just to try and impress the courts. | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/16/2009 1:21:14 PM | Maybe parents should stop fighting about money , become self sufficient and focus on the children. They always end up in the middle of squabbling parents.
Money can be earned and replaced, the years with the children till age of 18 is irreplaceable. Think about it before the incessant whine about money starts again. | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/16/2009 2:21:52 PM | Like I said if things were fair both parents would take care of the child he should be made to own up to his responsiblity but courts won't be fair. Still you decided to sleep with him now you don't like the consequences. You won't be the first or last in this boat so before you look for a sperm donor you better do some hard looking cause it could be years of hardship for you and your child and yes maybe even the father.
Not all guys have it easy and yes some of us want our children. Sorry your man is a idiot best of luck to you. NO GLOVE NO LOVE enough said I am done ranting. | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/16/2009 4:51:52 PM | Well, having BEEN in a similar situation, let me say THIS...
Likely the reason people are skeptical is from their own personal experience.
MY ex hid the fact that he was making over $40K. CS was based on his part time income that he had when laid off. All the time at that job, he paid a minimal amount. When he got laid off (NOT his fault) from that job, he went and asked for a modification. They called us in for a conference, and an examination of BOTH of our incomes.
They found out how much he had been making, and imputed his income. Rather than getting it decreased, it was RAISED. More than double. AND they basically told him that he was "busted".
Moral of the story? Don't try to cheat because you're giving money to your ex. You're NOT.
If you get unemployment, they should be taking the CS directly out of that. And there is a limit to how much they can take. Of course, you will build up an arrearage, but at least you aren't paying out EVERYTHING.
I have no doubt there are men who have the same story to tell from their own POV. But WHY can't we look past this crap and realize it's not about US-- it's about the children. And the CHILDREN are the ones who suffer. Particularly in situations where the wife was a SAHM. Isn't that what the couple decides together? Why would anyone expect things to change THAT much? Do they not realize the ramifications of a SAHM being divorced? You can't just walk back into the work force, PARTICULARLY in the current economy, and expect to live a lifestyle equal to what you lived when married.
No offense to anyone- just sayin'... | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/16/2009 5:05:46 PM | I get what you're saying, but this is a fact-- the rent has to be paid. The bills have to be paid. There IS a difference between a single woman living alone and a mother with a child/children.
Those children eat differently than a single woman does. (BELIEVE me!) Larger apt. More utilities expended. More gas for the car. Kids need clothes, lunch money, school supplies, entertainment. There are fees for school. Child care if the mom works (Don't MOST CP moms work?)
My ex used to have a cow if I ever bought ANYTHING for myself. After all, if I have the money to go out for the evening, well, it MUST have come out of the CS, right? Do dad's not realize that we don't keep seperate accounts? It all goes in the same bank account. If Little Johnny needs shoes this week, and CS doesn't come until next week, the money comes out of that one account. Then when something else is needed, it STILL comes out of that account.
Would Dads be happy if we bought two seperate quarts of milk, and labled them "mom" and "Kid"? Kid's quart runs out? Oh WELL....no more milk until CS day!! Buy a pkg of two pork chops. Get home and rewrap. One for child, one for mom. Oreos? Divvy them up. Kid's share gone? oh WELL....too bad, so sad....Mom eats them in front of Junior. After all, HIS share is gone.
Of course that sounds stupid, doesn't it? And yet, it would seem that is what is expected. Don't DARE make the car payment when the CS arrives. Even if you DID use all YOUR paycheck to buy school clothes.
Are you getting what I'm saying? I'm truly not trying to be snarky here, but this is what would happen if SOME dads had their way.
In fact, in Ohio, we get our CS on a debit card. My ex about had a stroke. He claimed it wasn't "right" because in that manner, we can use it for "whatever we want". After all, you can use it like a credit card. You can use it in restaurants!! (duh? in STORES too!! LOL) There is no "accounting" of how we spent it. Um, how is that any different than getting it via a check, or via direct deposit?
And also on that note, if Dad thinks he has a right to see the breakdown on Moms' monthly budget, is he prepared to show HIS monthly budget? To have to explain those charges from TGIFriday's that night he took Kelly, that new hot chick in the office, out for dinner? After all, if Mom's new underwear comes under scrutiny...
Again-- are you getting how childish this gets? I hope so!! | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/16/2009 11:30:43 PM | | Not all men are as you discribe and there are women just as bad. I know of children that go without because their wonderful mother spends all the money on herself then comes to dad after having paid his support and say's kids need shoes. It's winter so what's he gonna do let his kids freeze meanwhile the courts will do nothing to help the situation. I don't question my ex how she spends it as long as my kids do not go without. | |
|
| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/17/2009 12:42:43 AM | | the problem with child support at least in AZ is the system is flawed . they dont require the cp to show proof of what they are spending the money on , and as in my case i pay for two children have one of them and still cant get the support lowered after going to court . so my son gets less so my ex wife can have more . the money does not get spent on my daughter . but if i were to not pay they would throw my a$$ in jail . now how is this system right . i will not judge the op or even comment on his situation because after reading his profile i'm not sure i know what to say . but i know the system is definately flawed | |
|
Home
login 
