| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/17/2009 4:13:45 AM | | you can go to your court house where you live and they can tell you what to do,and your ex can't do nothing about it,i know my ex lowered is child support,and she as to understand that you can't control that,and she should be lucky that her child as a father that cares and that's their,i swear some people can be so cold,good luck and keep the faith,ok | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/17/2009 10:12:12 AM | "If you get unemployment, they should be taking the CS directly out of that. And there is a limit to how much they can take. Of course, you will build up an arrearage, but at least you aren't paying out EVERYTHING."
Firstly, why should there by an arrearage accumulating if the person is unemployed. Shouldn't their payments be lower since they are collecting unemployment. As for there being no limit, how is the ncp suppose to live if most of the unemployment is going to child support.
Funny how you mention that the kids need still need to eat and a roof over their heads when the child support goes down, but when it goes up due to an increase in income did they all of sudden start costing more. | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/17/2009 10:45:48 AM | FYI^^^^
Child support is based on income of the NCP - not on what it costs to adequately pay to take care of the children. The balance is covered by the other parent , who might not be able to afford the extra financial strain. If the child support goes up due to the increase income of the NCP, maybe it's because they can finally pay the amount that was required in the first place.
Look at the needs of the children, not the dollars and cents paid out.
Might be anger toward an ex that determines peoples views on support, not the care of the children. | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/17/2009 12:42:39 PM | ^^^^^^
actualy in the satae of AZ child support is based on potential earnings not current earnings thus the reason it is so hard to get child support lowered . and in the state of AZ they can legaly take up to half of your income . if your makeing minimum wage that is impossible to live on . and in the current economic situation people are lucky to be able to find one job , let alone being able to work two . these courts dont care if the ncp is able to live after child support is taken out . and as i said in the state of AZ they dont even require the cp to show proof of what they are spending child support on . as i said there is a problem with the current child support system . | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/17/2009 5:31:29 PM |
Particularly in situations where the wife was a SAHM. Isn't that what the couple decides together? Why would anyone expect things to change THAT much? Do they not realize the ramifications of a SAHM being divorced?
That's what alimony is for, not child support.
Might be anger toward an ex that determines peoples views on support, not the care of the children.
And the flip side of that coin is that people's greed for child support might determine their pursuit of custody. Mandated support causes more problems than it solves. If the courts got rid of child support, you'd likely see more people sharing custody of their children instead of fighting over them. You'd see less people underemploying themselves just to get out of paying unneccessary amounts of support. Responsible parents will be responsible parents with or without court involvement. Same goes for the irresponsible. Our current system makes winners out of one parent or the other, which means children never win. | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/18/2009 10:18:52 AM | | would you STILL have to pay rent, utilities etc even if you DIDNT have a child? If youre gonna justify that the child support should contribute to the rent, are you saying youre charging said child rent???? | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/18/2009 11:24:13 AM | Particularly in situations where the wife was a SAHM. Isn't that what the couple decides together? Why would anyone expect things to change THAT much? Do they not realize the ramifications of a SAHM being divorced? And because it's limited in how long you may have to pay, while CS is until 18 at the minimum.
And actually, that really makes no sense to me at all. I, as a woman, do not WANT "your" money for me. I can take care of myself. I want help housing OUR child. You contributed equally to his/her birth. You contributed equally (I hope!) One way or another in raising them to the point of the divorce) .
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Might be anger toward an ex that determines peoples views on support, not the care of the children.
And the flip side of that coin is that people's greed for child support might determine their pursuit of custody. Mandated support causes more problems than it solves. If the courts got rid of child support, you'd likely see more people sharing custody of their children instead of fighting over them. You'd see less people underemploying themselves just to get out of paying unneccessary amounts of support. Responsible parents will be responsible parents with or without court involvement. Same goes for the irresponsible. Our current system makes winners out of one parent or the other, which means children never win.
Could be in SOME cases, but in MOST cases of people I know, and have communicated with, that is hardly the case.
Let's look at it this way (and yes, I KNOW the system is flawed)...Husband brings home $3000 a month. Wife brings home $1600 a month. Total income is $4600 a month.
One child. Divorce happens. Mom now runs household on $1600 a month. Father is required to pay $250 a month. Yeah, that looks about even, right? LOL
The FACT is, though, not every couple is capable of totally equally shared parenting. For many reasons. One parent travels for work. Or works off shifts. Parents do not agree on parenting methods (no!!! That HAPPENS? LOL) One (or both) parents drinks, uses drugs, is abusive, is a criminal.
Face it, the only solution is for BOTH parents to behave like adults and put aside their issues because that is what is best for the CHILDREN.
I'm sure most of us posting here have SOME kind of problem in dealing with their ex. It doesn't solve the problem to cast stones at ALL men, or ALL women. | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/18/2009 11:45:16 AM | The FACT is, though, not every couple is capable of totally equally shared parenting. For many reasons. One parent travels for work. Or works off shifts. Parents do not agree on parenting methods (no!!! That HAPPENS? LOL) One (or both) parents drinks, uses drugs, is abusive, is a criminal.
Face it, the only solution is for BOTH parents to behave like adults and put aside their issues because that is what is best for the CHILDREN.
That's what I meant when I said;
Responsible parents will be responsible parents with or without court involvement. Same goes for the irresponsible.
Your part about not every couple is capable of totally equally shared parenting applies to all facets of childrearing. Be it physical, emotional, or financial. Put aside your issues about the tough spot you find yourself in and just be a parent because that's what's best for your child. One of those issues may be contempt for what the other parent isn't doing. Accept and understand that you cannot make an irresponsible person responsible... that's something they have to become.
Child support just causes more turmoil. All you have to do is look at all the threads around here about child support to see that it has yet to make anybody happy. It just creates misery and betrayal. Money is not the answer. | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/18/2009 1:59:51 PM | The dude thats criticizing you for being on a FREE site can take a long hard suck! its irrelevent that you are on this site as Im sure this isnt the only forum you've used to probe for advice! That ass has an obvious comprehenisve issue as you clearly state that you have lost your job and the bulk of your funds(aside from the essentials)are going to your son and providing what you can since your significant reduction in salary!
I have no advice to offer in terms of dealing with your ex and her inability to accept your current financial state, but I do want to say that I admire your efforts to be the parent you are, they will not go un-noticed by your son as he gets older and appreciates the scarifice!
As for buddy reading at a grade four level...go back to the search menu and look up activity partner...you might get lucky and find a girl that can teach you how to read! | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/19/2009 1:42:18 AM | Albemarleguy, you might have to still pay rent/utilities but it wouldn't be as much. You could have a smaller place. Which would take less to heat, less lights in it, the child is a part of that cost.
dantaylor27, if you're working a minimum wage job, then you need to get another job. The needs of the child should come before the needs of the parent. Find a way to make it work. And as for parents having to prove what they spend it on, that's a joke. Child support is for the support of the child. It goes into food bills, utilities, rent, gas, car payments, clothing, every little thing in life. To make someone balance out every cent they spend from what amount and into what amount is just silly. The courts decide what is a fair amount for the person to contribute. Why should they have to prove that every cent of that goes to a certain place each month? Say you pay 250. One month it takes 450 for the child's expenses. So the ex spends the other 25 of the exe's share on a hair cut. The next month they have to buy the kid more clothes and it costs 550. So they spend an extra 50 of their own money. It balances out. | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/19/2009 7:30:46 AM |
Say you pay 250. One month it takes 450 for the child's expenses. So the ex spends the other 25 of the exe's share on a hair cut. The next month they have to buy the kid more clothes and it costs 550. So they spend an extra 50 of their own money. It balances out.
Just that easy, huh?
Honestly, I hope you never find yourself in a situation where you find out what the Family "Justice" industry is really all about. The money has absolutely nothing to do with the support of the children... it just happens to be the only way in which the courts can invoke a certain degree of control over people. It's something that can be measured whereby punishment can be handed down if you fail to meet your "responsibilities". Without child support, there would be little need for the courts because most other responsibilities of parenting are subjective. The only use there would be for the courts would be in instances of child abuse. Lawyers aren't going to get rich that way now are they?
Don't kid yourself. Family Law is set up to make lawyers rich, not to help anybody. | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/19/2009 11:29:33 AM | bing147
number one i never said i work i minimum wage job i said i know people who have . and your comment about getting another job . thats not as easy as it sounds in the current economy . number two with your comment about makeing the cp show proof on what they are spending the money on . that is my kid's money not hers . i'm not married to her anymore she doesnot need to spend it on a hair cut or anything else so the fact that it balances out is b.s. . my kids are always my first priority and that shows with the fact that i have one of the children with me full time and i still pay full amount of child support . however i stand by my statement that the system is flawed . the child support system needs to be based on current wages not potential earnings . the way it is now it sometimes leaves the ncp with nothing to live on and that solves nothing for the children either, and the cp needs to be held accountable for what she spends the money on . if she goes out and spends it on her boyfriends drug habbit she should be put in jail . | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/19/2009 12:03:39 PM | Your part about not every couple is capable of totally equally shared parenting applies to all facets of childrearing. Be it physical, emotional, or financial. Put aside your issues about the tough spot you find yourself in and just be a parent because that's what's best for your child. One of those issues may be contempt for what the other parent isn't doing. Accept and understand that you cannot make an irresponsible person responsible... that's something they have to become.
Believe me, I am the one trying. I overlook a LOT. I allowed my children to make their own decisions about their father. They CHOOSE not to spend much time with him. After all, how many times does somebody slap you in the head before you decide you don't like being with them. Add to that constant derogatory remarks about Mom, and, well....you get the picture. If they have no relationship with him when they reach adulthood (and one of them IS an adult now) well, that's HIS fault, not mine. Regardless of how hard he tries to pin it on me.
Oh, wait...it WAS me who abused him, wasn't it. SOrry, I had no idea hitting him in the fist with my face would scar him so badly. My mistake. (tic) And NO, I do NOT discuss it with my children. Didn't have to. They SAW it.
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Child support just causes more turmoil. All you have to do is look at all the threads around here about child support to see that it has yet to make anybody happy. It just creates misery and betrayal. Money is not the answer.
Oh please...it's only about money when one MAKES it about money. What would the solution be? To stay together forever, regardless? LOL | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/19/2009 3:33:52 PM | | child support is all about money . in most cases i have witnessed the cp useualy uses the child support over the ncp's head . the men and women that are in jail for child support are there because the cp has pushed the issue . how is that thinking the best for the child . i know alot of cp's that have not allowed the ncp the right to see there children because of child support . so maybe in your case it was not about money but in most cases it is . | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/20/2009 7:03:30 PM | | i was unemp. for 5 months, when x and i split, i found a job (temp. mind you) with the union making double what i normally make, my x filed and got a grand a month support because of it, walla, temp job ended 4-5 months later, back to unemployment. still had to pay the grand a month , tryed to change it, state said not for one yr. so needless to say my unemployment of 300 a week( state max) i got 101.oo a week to make rent, car payment, food, gas etc. ( by the way x moved 100 miles away to new b/f house) i have to meet half way. now i pay xtra 50 a week on top, and she gets my income taxes. who does it help to starve and kill financially one parent or the other? i even helped her move when we split( my truck broke down on last load? lmao) but she n her new b/f who both work, enjoy there new truck, appliances, trips etc, that i know for a fact my dime is buying, while i work side jobs etc. to try n keep my roof, my 20 yr old car running and feed n take care of my kids when i get them, or can afford to get them. welcome to neb. lmao | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/21/2009 5:48:56 PM | | join the club mate, as the song goes: she got the gold mine, i got the shaft. the ****es have our nuts in a vice, child support agency are a hopeless bunch of inflexible tools who will not help. take up serious drinking. | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 4/25/2009 9:45:55 AM | the ****es have our nuts in a vice Would these be the same b****es you on here looking to meet with a view to a long term relationship, closeness, communication and compromise?  Maybe a little harsh to refer to custodial mothers receiving cs as b****es without qualification?
If it's any consolation, from what I've heard/seen both men and women seem to have an equally hard time with Child Support Agencies. They are an equally opportunity pain in the arse. Although we're you're in the thick of it, it probably doesn't feel that way. And if you're in Canada, it seems the men do bear the brunt of it.
I just keep praying I never have to deal with them. We did our own private cs agreement, which is permitted, legal and binding in Australia under the Family Law Act. CSA get a copy, but they do not have any input into it. But it's all bets are off in 4.5yrs and we will be renegotiating.
Maybe going private is something some of you can explore if it's allowed in your State/Country? It wasn't even that expensive. Although if you're referring to your ex as a b****h, maybe it's not destined for success.... :) | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 6/2/2009 9:19:03 AM | | You need to make an application to change or vary an order...then you write an affidavit in support of your application and you make statements as to what is happening in your life and how you are actively seeking employment etc. The application goes before a judge who reads the materials you have submitted to see if he/she will allow the application to be heard. Then if it is approved you will go before a judge or master of the court and basically explain what is happening and why you need to lower your payments until you get on your feet again. Odds are the judge will make an interim Order to lower your support payments and give you some time to get going again. My guess is that he will also reset an appearance for a later date to see how things are shaping up. I hope that your ex is a reasonable person, she is the one who may oppose it, otherwise things should go smoothly. | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 6/2/2009 9:47:00 AM |
would you STILL have to pay rent, utilities etc even if you DIDNT have a child? If youre gonna justify that the child support should contribute to the rent, are you saying youre charging said child rent????
I keep telling my 2 year old it's about time to get a damn job.
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 6/2/2009 10:05:56 AM | This site should have a feature where I can subscribe to a posters comments. Either that or Tealwood you need to make an RSS feed. I always enjoy reading your straight forward comments.
Bravo. | |
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| how to get child support payments lowered?
Posted: 6/2/2009 11:35:35 AM | | Ok fishing from shore, what is it exactly you suggest I should take a long hard suck on???? Since you think I have an issue with comprehending the facts let's revisit them for a moment shall we. The OP who wants to get his child support payments lowed, and I quote this from his profile, "I work only 6 months of the year" and on a first date suggests "we could smoke crack together". He classifies the reasoning on waiting 10 months to figure out what to do about his court ordered support as " i guess i was being generous". So with the facts revisited how is it then in your opinion that I'm being a "ass" when my suggestion to him was "go to the system that handles these judgments and file a petition for modification"? Or is it that you have an issue with me because I call bull shit when I see it? | |
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