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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Sex on 2nd date - now what, exclusivity?      Home login  
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 champane20
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 151
Sex on 2nd date - now what, exclusivity?Page 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I wouldn't have sex with someone that i found to be unattractive i do find that quite interesting that as a man ,you found yourself not only having sex with this lady , but also becoming involved with her. maybe you found the person inside the lady very attractive and that is why you have become involved with her. Age means nothing ,it all comes down to how we get on with each other in the end . personally i find intelligence very sexy more so than how someone looks or how old they are .
 SmokestackLightning
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 152
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Sex on 2nd date - now what, exclusivity?
Posted: 4/14/2009 3:09:08 AM
Well Abort... To me having sex does not automatically imply exclusivity, you are still just dating.... you just happen to be having sex while dating. Heck for all you know, she might be 'using' you. Not all of us women choose to be victims to the Evil male penis. I wasn't able to slog through all 6 pages of the 'you pig' bashing, so bear with me if I'm repeating anyone else's remarks.

Since it's apparent that you don't want to be exclusive, I wouldn't bring it up. And until she specifically asks for the 'where do I stand' talk... I do not believe your being dishonest by dating other women. This is exactly why women think they are being 'used' all the time. Instead of mutual fulfillment some women see it as their 'gift' to a man, ergo the man now owes them their undying loyalty.

I tried the 'beauty is only skin deep... beauty comes from the inside... if you get along, the passion will follow....' crap. It didn't work, but it did make the divorce a whole hell of a lot easier. Obviously you have a conscience & are feeling a little guilty about possibly leading her on. So bottom line, do what you feel you can live with, but in regards to your original question... Exclusivity can only be expected when it is verbally agreed to by both parties... Sex or not.
 VannessaCharms
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 153
Sex on 2nd date - now what, exclusivity?
Posted: 4/14/2009 6:14:18 PM
Well isnt that funny / maybe your not all that either - sex between 2 people isnt always about looks its about how u feel when and in the act - before during the physical aspects are icing but the act is much more..
EXCLUSIVITY --- I JUST fcked that up i was ask for that and put my pic back up after 2 days of no contact really whats a grl going to do - but men just dnt want u to see anyone else while there tapin it .then they move on this site is a sespool of seamen but what a way to go
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 154
Sex on 2nd date - now what, exclusivity?
Posted: 4/16/2009 1:34:12 PM

To me having sex does not automatically imply exclusivity, you are still just dating

It doesn't automatically, no. Continuing to see each other and having sex all the while? It does imply exclusivity. In the middle of said involvement, one person loses attraction in the other person and wants friends+beneifits, something has to be said... otherwise, it's called "playing games", because you're -leading someone on-, that you are dating. If you are dating frequently, it does imply exclusivity, unless otherwise specified.

Since it's apparent that you don't want to be exclusive, I wouldn't bring it up.

He should bring it up -- unless it's understood by how the situation exists, that it's a "hang out", "no frills" situation. If she thinks he and she are dating and have something going -- he DOES need to bring it up. He's going to bring drama to the situation.

Sex does not mean exclusivity. Sexual Relations + Frequently, Continually Dating does... and if he's in that situation, he's gotta say something -- especially if he's not THAT into her. Common sense.
 NYRon1967
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 155
Sex on 2nd date - now what, exclusivity?
Posted: 7/27/2010 9:21:26 AM
All i can say is a guy with a user name -abortretryfail- sounds like a negative person to me who isnt the nicest guy ( especially using a woman for sex but then says shes not attractive?)
 simplywhatever
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 156
Sex on 2nd date - now what, exclusivity?
Posted: 7/29/2010 2:32:35 PM
OP
Sounds to me like classic," shes meant to be in the friend zone", Theres nothing wrong with that but you need to be honest with her. Not so honest that you have to tell her its because shes not skinny enough, But tell her that theres just no spark! If she continues to ask why just tell her you like everything about her and you really wanna be her friend, but forcing more then a friendship isnt fair to either of you. But you gotta stop sleeping with her, (unless you ask her how she feels about FWB) maybe thats all shes looking for, asking her is the only way you will get that answer. But sleeping with her and sleeping with others....Its wrong unless ALL involved know the whole situation, if not its just reckless
 DragNFlyBuzzez
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 157
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Sex on 2nd date - now what, exclusivity?
Posted: 7/29/2010 3:04:13 PM
Dude,
I know your trying to come off like your doing the right thing,
you pissed off some personalities, Helen appears to be your new associate, but you did say she is great except; 30lbs heavy, some things best left unsaid, but then I think you feel quilty and put that up there To GeT Slammed.
Were you both drinking?
So the question is, when you tell her , we connect on all levels but your not a beauty and your not even top riding worthy,( man I am glad I'm not you), if you are going to break it to this girl, toss all this honesty stuff out the window. Make somthing up instead of destroying her ego. She probally feels great to get laid and is looking at a potential relationship with you, and your going to tell her she is too large to your liking .

a white lie will not hurt this ending relationship where a "your too fat for my liking" will devestate the psych of a fellow human being. I been the recipient of cruelty, and it isn't always easy to recoup your ego.

Good luck buds, sorry to see the pre"dick"iment you got yourself into.
 dan88anew
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 158
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Sex on 2nd date - now what, exclusivity?
Posted: 7/29/2010 3:32:16 PM
I would say the line of when you become exclusive is different for alot of people.

I'll start off by saying i think being honest with each other about what your doing is the most important thing.

No one is perfect, everyone has some flaw or another, the question is are her good qualitys enough too make up for the visual side of things. Remember looks dont make memorys and relationships, Personality is what will make a relationship last. Soo i'd say if you get along well give it a try and see where it leads.

I would say since you have slept together no you should not keep looking for other women, Either try too make it work, or end it and continue looking. Or agree with each other not too be exclusive i guess
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 159
Sex on 2nd date - now what, exclusivity?
Posted: 7/29/2010 5:23:34 PM
abortretryfail said: "I felt bad though, because I am not as into her as she is into me, and there are some shortcomings with her that make me want to keep looking, but not to discount her entirely."
You felt bad you said it yourself if your comming here looking for a an "aokay" I suggest you go down to the local.
You control how you feel......obviously you are feeling a little regretful, but not regretful enough to not ask for an aokay.
Don't waste our time you know what you did, we aren't giving you an aokay and see you on the other side of the fence.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Sex on 2nd date - now what, exclusivity?