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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:31:24 PM | | Im 48 and love to ask you out, your gorgeous an well I know thats prob not what your post is, but you have so many restrictions on your profile, youve basically eliminated everyone, as far as intimate encounters, from boredom looked at the, there is maybe 10 max and not one is a true intimate encouter thing, its more like over weight ladies that want a relationship and think they will get more responsed from this kind of post | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:13:51 PM |
...over weight ladies that want a relationship and think they will get more responsed from this kind of post
huh???
this is a confusing post. what are you trying to say?
a couple of days ago, i got "viewed" by a man who put that he is an "average" body type on his profile and he will only consider "thin to average" women to date. to be honest, i'm not sure what mirror he's looking into, but this guy is NOT thin!
then again, a few months ago, i was contacted by someone who also isn't "average" and cheerfully admits that he's enough of a hypocrite to not want a BBW. and he thought he could tell by my pictures that i'm not as big as i say i am.
besides, most of us have restrictions - if only to stop the 20-somethings looking for their own Mrs. Robinson from contacting us!
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:15:36 PM | Just my guess here but I'm willing to bet there's a huge amount of guys my age that date around our age.
I saw it put most succinctly by another poster who said that people are attracted to attitude. I have to agree,,,
I and many men like me will prefer being with a woman if she:
-acts confident but not pompous
-talks but doesn't gossip
-gives as well as receives
-can be overweight but attempts to do something about it instead of blaming or making excuses
-can be a plain jane as long as she doesn't apply makeup with over exuberance to make up for a inferiority complex
-doesn't make catty or jealous remarks about other women
Age doesn't have anything to do with it with most of us. The ones you do see go after someone a couple decades younger might have issues,,, do you really want to deal with that or just want something to complain about,,,,
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:24:47 PM | | --can be overweight but attempts to do something about it instead of blaming or making excuses...some of us are happy with ourselves no matter what we weigh....a fat gal is probably not going to date you if you expect her to be losing weight....but then she might lose weight and drop you since she will find a man who accepts her thinner self and who does not expect her to be doing something about it. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:27:57 PM | ^^^
read into it what you will
The issue was she do something instead of complaining/blaming,,,
If she accepts it without those things accompanying it, she's got what was referred to earlier in the post as having "confidence'
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/13/2009 5:18:53 PM | I had forgot about this thread. I suppose, at least in my case, that this all applies more to internet dating sites. I have just found browsing profiles on the various sites, that many men have age restrictions as to the person they'd like to date/meet. Take this site for instance, if I saw a 46 yr old man's profile that I found interesting, I wouldn't be able to send a contact message even if I wanted to with those mail restrictions in place. So odds are, that man isn't looking at female profiles around his own age either. In that case, it has nothing to do with looks, attitude, weight or any of that if a person would rather look outside their age bracket. Myself, I have no such age restrictions set on my profile, though I would prefer to date someone less than a decade either side of my age. As others have said, the whole life's experience thing, being at relatively the same point in life as each other.
Route 51, there's nothing wrong with "geezers", however someone more then a decade older that I am is more then likely at a different point in their life than me. Also, there's the physical attraction factor, while it's not everything, it is an important element to a romantic relationship, with out that, two people will just be friends. Personally, I've not often been attracted to men considerably older than I am. I'll probably get blasted for this, but I've met some 50ish men, who I thought were closer to my father's age. Of course, maybe they weren't being honest about their age either, I don't know. I'm relatively youthful looking and fit, and I'm most attracted to others who keep in relatively good shape too. Shallow? Maybe, however I want all three 'L's" in a relationship, Love, Like and Lust, call me greedy if you will.
aaamm, I didn't say I have a problem dating or attracting men, just not many around my age. The last two men I've dated have been in their 30's. One late 30's, so that wasn't too much of a biggie, but I didn't really feel as comfortable with the one in his early 30's. Again, the whole being in different places in one's lives etc.
7beaches, that's an angle I hadn't thought of and makes a lot of sense, thanks for your insight....and yes, post a picture! lol Really, it will help tremendously I'm sure.
To those talking about weight issues and such, well that applies to all age brackets, not just the 40's, and if one is happy and confident with themselves, people of all sizes can and do get dates/relationships. It doesn't matter if you're a size 0 or size 22, there will be people attracted to you. No, not all are attracted to larger women, but not all are attracted to smaller women either. I'm on the smaller end of the spectrum, and I know that there are men who prefer women who are more voluptuous. So lets not turn this into a bbw/fat guy thread. I started this thread because I was curious why it seemed to be quite a few who won't look at a profile or accept messages from others their own age.
Moparlover1968, I'm not sure who you are addressing your post to, but if it happens to be me, my restrictions aren't that rigid. Since I have no desire to be involved with married men, drug users, nor men who are looking for a quick hook up, my restrictions aren't unreasonable at all. Your post in general doesn't make much sense to me. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/13/2009 5:34:08 PM | Fifi47, men arent dating you based on your weight but your attitude, you use your weight as the issue rather than accept that you are angry and bitter that the men you are attracted to arent physically attracted to you. That whole line about if someone becomes *thinner she might ditch someone who encouraged her to become more healthy for a man who wouldnt have accepted her being fat to start, it doesn't even make sense...please refraim from speaking about the wishes of "fat" girls cause I know you don't represent me!
If you are truly happy with who you are no matter what you weigh then why are you putting down others who have no physical attraction to what you weigh? I have never had a problem attracting someone based on my weight, some men prefer a woman who has more meat on their bones, my ex told me that sleeping with a skinny girl is like sleeping in a bedfull of wire coat hangers.
OP, when we are in our 20's we have more physical beauty but less common sense we do things in an effort to prove to ourselves and others who we are...(unknown qualities). In our 30's we know more about ourselves but we lack the maturity level that life experiences will grant us.
IMHO there is nothing hotter than a man who is 40 or 50 and that knows who he is, someone who has accepted their part in the failure of past relationships..ie the man who claims the wife never wanted sex with him cause she was mad he worked to much...he know realizes if he wants a woman to be happy to be in his bed he has to appreciate her outside of the bed. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:29:01 PM |
I suppose, at least in my case, that this all applies more to internet dating sites. I have just found browsing profiles on the various sites, that many men have age restrictions as to the person they'd like to date/meet. Take this site for instance, if I saw a 46 yr old man's profile that I found interesting, I wouldn't be able to send a contact message even if I wanted to with those mail restrictions in place. So odds are, that man isn't looking at female profiles around his own age either. In that case, it has nothing to do with looks, attitude, weight or any of that if a person would rather look outside their age bracket. Myself, I have no such age restrictions set on my profile, though I would prefer to date someone less than a decade either side of my age. As others have said, the whole life's experience thing, being at relatively the same point in life as each other.
Well OP- I find the same thing with a number of womens profiles as well. They put restrictions maybe from their own age down- some not even their own age and some lied about their age and then put down their real age in their profile description.
So what is it with these folks? Are they convinced nobody their own age is attractive? It's kind of funny really - almost hypocritcal. Of course there's always the "I look , feel, act younger" mantra that is used to justify all this.
Myself - I generally search in the 40's, maybe late 30's and early 50's. Attractiveness isn't really about age- it's about a look and an attitude. I also find that many across that age group are really skillfull at deleting messages as well -lol.
Think about it- is it really that men your age don't contact you? or just men that you don't want to date? Do you look at all mens profiles or just the ones you want to date?
I think many just focus on their targets rather than the whole POF sea of people here when making blanket statements.
Route 51, there's nothing wrong with "geezers", however someone more then a decade older that I am is more then likely at a different point in their life than me. Also, there's the physical attraction factor, while it's not everything, it is an important element to a romantic relationship, with out that, two people will just be friends. Personally, I've not often been attracted to men considerably older than I am. I'll probably get blasted for this, but I've met some 50ish men, who I thought were closer to my father's age. Of course, maybe they weren't being honest about their age either, I don't know. I'm relatively youthful looking and fit, and I'm most attracted to others who keep in relatively good shape too. Shallow? Maybe, however I want all three 'L's" in a relationship, Love, Like and Lust, call me greedy if you will.
Maybe many of the men feel exactly as you do? Why should they feel any different?
God forbid that any of us should settle for less than we "deserve"
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:44:45 PM |
OP, when we are in our 20's we have more physical beauty but less common sense we do things in an effort to prove to ourselves and others who we are...(unknown qualities). In our 30's we know more about ourselves but we lack the maturity level that life experiences will grant us. Oh heck no. I have more physical beauty now. I also had tons of common sense in my 20's. I feel the need to prove myself more now than I did when I was in my 20's. Gosh, I also had tons of maturity in my 20's. EVERYONE is different! Everyone matures at a different rate or not. Everyone has different life experiences. By 22 the man I was to marry was dead. I had pretty much lived on my own for 8 years, of course I lived with my mom for about 4 of those years, but she was never there. I was on my own. I was working, as tons were, at 15. I grew up fast.
I think that we are all works in progress. We only stop progressing when we die, right? | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/13/2009 8:14:16 PM | truetemp1, I started this thread to gain insight, and I appreciate the posters who have contributed to it in the spirit it was intended. Of course it's your choice if you choose to interpret it as making blanket statements. This has been my experience, as well as other women I know of similar age who use these online dating sites and I was genuinely curious why so many will not accept messages from people the same age they are. Yes it's true that the majority of those who contact me are 10+ years younger, or older. It's a proportionately small percentage of men in their 40's who message me, and even then, they're usually located 75 miles away or farther.
Do you look at all mens profiles or just the ones you want to date?
There's no way I could possibly know if I had in interest in dating someone unless I looked at their profile, so yes I've viewed many profiles.
The last statement you quoted me on, I was explaining that I'm not generally attracted to men more than a decade older than myself. Seeing as I'm not sitting here asking why men a decade younger than myself don't approach me (which they do), I'm not sure why you chose to respond to that in the manner that you did. Of course everyone feels that way, we all want someone we're physically attracted to as well as connecting on other levels. In no way did I imply anyone should settle for less than they deserve or want. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/13/2009 9:05:47 PM | Buckeye- Just for fun I just did a look at about 20 profiles for men and 20 for women in my area between 40 and 50. I found about 3 men out of 20 had profile restrictions. Women I would say 12 out of 20. The men's were quite generous up and down. Some of the womens were too but a few had 2 years up and about 10 years down.
The main point I'm making is that both women and men do it- and it is only some of those too. What is the explanation for that? There are probably many.
For guys its alway been traditional to date a little younger- last time I heard men on average marry about two years younger- but last time I heard it was about a decade ago- so maybe things have changed.
Guys maybe looking for trophies or maybe looking to have more kids or feel like they relate better to others.
Since I'm not a woman- I'm not sure why they do it except for the feeling younger than their years thing.
From what I've read on these boards, a lot of women in their 40's aren't attracted to men in there 40's either. So I guess the thing is- people are attracted to whatever they like. My own experience is that more women older than younger contact me . I guess everyones experiences are different.But I'll say- maybe your area is different than mine.
But this is not just the domain of men - its some people in general on POF land. Many just look at the most attractive pictures, find that group is quite selective and conjecture that all of the gender and age group has that issue.
Not trying to be mean Buckeye - just putting my own views out there. We all see things differently.
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/14/2009 12:48:41 AM | | I think that because men on dating sites use age as a search criteria...and most all want a woman a couple years younger than them to 20 years younger...they skip women that are the same age or a couple of years older who would be perfectly acceptable if they met in person. It's the problem of searching by criteria instead of just meeting someone interesting. You may do better at one of the live events hosted by POF in your community. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/14/2009 4:54:40 AM | | Curly .. I think its a product of the the choices we are left with online. My guess is you are correct .. if we were able to meet everyone in person, there would more than likely be many more that would be appealing. You cannot get a sense of chemistry and personality from an online search, reading a profile and an email or two. But, it is what it is .. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/15/2009 7:22:36 AM | Most of the live events in Toronto end up having the same people show up, just look at the listings and see the same people signed up to attend. I went to one about a year ago, they said they were a friendly bunch..that is only if they find the GUY attractive. The men are not as friendly to the guys who show up because you may be moving in on the women they are trying to pick up each week.
One that was always held in Oshawa, women would complain it was a meat market of an event. Too many people and guys looking to get laid. I laughed.
You get alot of the older women preferring the much younger guys too. Many women in thier 40's do not think men thier age are at all attractive. Yet that is acceptable now, but if a man in his 40's says the same about the women...well then it is a different story, women bash them for it. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/15/2009 3:25:36 PM | I agree with Curly, the local pof events are a great way to meet people. There's a party about every 6 weeks or so in my county. I've dated 3 men from this site, all three I met at one of the POF parties, they're worth checking out if any are held in your area. Not only for dating purposes either, I've made several friends from them, both men and women, we get together fairly often outside of the official events.
Forums001, I'm sorry to hear that your experience with the events hasn't been as good as mine has been. But it was only one event that you attended? It's best to go these parties with no real expectations, other than to mingle, have fun, and make new friends. We get a lot of the same people attending our parties too, heck I'm one of them. As I said there's quite a few of us who have become friends and we have a great time. Maybe our parties are different then the one you attended, or maybe I'm just oblivious to it, but they haven't seemed like "meat markets" at all.
I will say that maybe you're right about the guy thing, they're not as friendly with each other, it seems more of us women have bonded then any of the men have bonded with each other. I'm not sure if it's for the reason you stated or not. There's quite a few Ohio POF events, and there's a buncha guys from the Side Lines gang who seem to have the bro love thing going on. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:52:29 AM | Buckeyegal...
I suspect that (most) men will say, yes, of course, they find women in their forties attractive. But when it comes to searching profiles, they will be looking younger. I have heard the sentiment expressed from divorced men in their forties that their buddies expect them to date younger (as in a decade or more younger). This is the unfortunate reality for single women in their forties.
I do not believe that Internet dating is very good for women in their forties. A 45-year-old man does not want a 45-year-old woman (in my experience). When I first tried Internet dating, I noticed a huge drop in email when I moved from being 39 to 40.
However, by meeting people in real life (at outings or POF events), men don't know how old you are. I think that women tend to look younger than their male counterparts anyway because we have taken care of our skin. My bf looks much older than me....but he's never used a moisturizer or sunscreen.
As for 40-something women wishing to do online dating, you can lie about your age, and you get to meet more men, but then what? Unless the guy had an age restriction in his profile, he probably won't mind, probably, that is, because there is something that he lied about as well (e.g. height) :) | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/18/2009 3:26:48 AM | | In my case, women in their 30's are the ones that approach me the most. When I try to involve myself with women over 40, they seem to see me as a bit younger, not because I actually ACT immature, but because I have a bubbly demeanor. The over 40 women that I come across seem to have tired personalities. In all honesty, I even have trouble trying to find women over 40 that are willing to spend the time and energy to get up on a Saturday and go to the movies with me. Women over 40 tend to always be too tired, or always have something ELSE that they need to do. Their lives seem to be consumed with chores and necessities. They put the concept of fun on the back burner. I just turned 44, but I can hang with any 20 year old out there as far as activities. The problem is that INTELLECTUALLY, 20 year olds can't usually vibe with the average 40+ year old. Other than sex and clubbing, a 40 yr. old being with a 20 yr. old just doesn't cut it. My golden spot is women in their 30s. They seem to be able to relate to me the most. They still believe that there is fun to be had in life, and at the same time they have enough intellect to be able to engage with 40 yr olds, so I end up dating women in their 30's the most. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/19/2009 2:47:28 PM | I'm 46, and I actually prefer women to be near my age. One thing I do find though, is that many women in that bracket that aren't attached are hard at work in their careers and looking for someone more successful than they are. As I've gone a route of simplifying y life to keep my health without spending my non-office hours in a gym, that cuts a lot of those out. The other category is women that have simply let themselves go. I eat right, walk everyday, and want someone physically capable of keeping up.
As a result, I end up out with a lot 0f 36yr old women who appreciate my hard earned insight and empathy. Probably because the guys in THEIR age bracket are still hounds on the prowl. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 9/19/2009 3:10:24 PM | I know right, like it seems like men in their 40's don't like to take care of themselves. They want to lift a beer, but won't hit the gym to put some muscle on their skinny arms. Their belly's enter the room before they do. I am lucky to have met someone 10 years younger that likes to hit the gym!
Honestly am not getting all the men lately that seem to want to brag about not exercising. What is up with that? Women do like healthy men. Not everyone on POF looks pregnant that is a man or is skinny, but gosh, it seems like more and more want to complain about women not being healthy. I don't get why they think not exercising they are healthy. And then they actually say younger women are going out with them, but they aren't either...gahhhh | |
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