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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 10:35:29 PM | Just realized that the original topic had to do with age differences, not accuracy with either eatin' tobacco or firearms.
My bad -
Sometimes it has nothing to do with age. One of the most intense on again / off again relationships I've been in (due to my moving around the country) really surprised me when I called her a while back to wish her a happy birthday. It occurred to me that I didn't know how old she was (gentlemen don't ask), but she volunteered that info just I was thinking it....
She's 20 years younger than I am.
I responded tactfully with something like, "HOLY SH*T! I COULD BE YOUR FATHER!"
She didn't miss a beat, and replied calmly, in a matter-of-fact tone, "That would be an interesting fantasy....me as your naughty daughter...."
I had to change the topic of the conversation, quickly!
Now, did I go looking to have a relationship with someone young enough to be my daughter? No way!
But I get her, and she gets me, which is not an easy thing to do. She's one of the few people that really understands me to the core.
Not the level of maturity I'd expect from someone young enough to be my daughter....
OP, you might be pleasantly surprised if you broaden your age parameters a little. Yes, you'll get the cougar hunters and the creepy older men, but you might also get a pleasant surprise.
Good luck! | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/4/2009 10:56:51 PM | I almost exclusively approach women in their '40's. Sometimes I get a positive response, often I'm ignored or dismissed.
I'll look for a woman I think compliments me in the basics of likes and fitness-level and attitudes. You never know until you communicate. I find many women who've looked after themselves will seek out younger men than me. I've been approached by women in their '50's who've looked after themselves and were positively gorgeous and I've been happy to date them because they embraced life.
I've also been approached by women my age who haven't looked after themselves, smoked, no exercise, overweight and passive and looked older than they were. I couldn't imagine sleeping with my nanna!.
So, in answer to your question, and only speaking for myself, I am happy to date a woman my own age or older if her attitude was youthful. If the body and mind are in shape it works just fine for me. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/5/2009 11:14:44 AM | | I always searched for women around the same age as me, +/- 5 years. I wasn't getting very far and so one day I decided to change and stretch my limits, sort of going outside my comfort zone. Right away I met up with a woman 12 years younger. I wasn't too sure but we met and voila! we've been together ever since. Turns out she likes older guys. So there you go. Buckeygal1963 maybe you need to consider doing the same. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/5/2009 5:23:35 PM | Like many guys, I'll go perhaps 10 yrs younger (if we have something in common) but maybe only a couple years older. Many of the women I see seem to look their age or younger, or way older than you'd think.
One more thing, the restrictions on your profile might exclude more than a few nice guys, as another recent thread mentioned, there are some of us that didn't pay much attention to what a person was looking for when we first signed up (like intimate encounters) and now can't message people without creating a whole new profile...... a major pain. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/5/2009 5:38:58 PM | zxrider4u said
I consider anyone who has something to offer that is attractive to me as a person. If a guy is secure with himself, he will not have a problem being with someone of a different age. It is more of a case by case basis IMO.
Isnt that entirely how it should be....you dont look at age, you look at the person... | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/5/2009 5:50:32 PM | I think there might be a crossing pattern zipping past you. Younger guys believing their youth would be a selling point to someone older while older guys believing their supposed maturity would attract younger women more easily. So the men in your age range are zipping above or below you chronologically and you're getting hits from both above and below.
The thing about the age restrictions, is that for those men who read profiles in your age range will see that and recognize that they might have a better chance with you than they otherwise might have because they don't have to rely on selling themselves as the young buck or the mature nurturer. It might even send the message that you will be more interested in them as they are. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/5/2009 6:09:12 PM | buckeyegal
You are 45? you sure don't look it. You probably attract guys in their 30's asw you look in your 30's. I'm 59 and don't want a young chick in their 20's or 30's, even at your age I'd be leary.
Ron | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/5/2009 8:33:47 PM | Go Rin No Sho, this isn't so much about my age parameters, which being 35-55 I don't think is too narrow, although I do prefer the 5 yr +/- age difference...it's just I'm curious why there seem to be many men who have their restrictions set so that only women younger than themselves are able to contact them. Since they have those restrictions, I'm assuming they don't do a search/browse to view profiles of women their own or age or a bit older either.
Being as that I'm in mid 40's, I used that particular age group in my thread. Maybe as another posted stated, it's common in all decades. I've had men in their late 50's contact me, and always politely respond by saying I'm looking for someone a bit closer to my own age. Often I get back "Age is just a number, but it's your loss", yet in their own profile they'll have age restrictions set 35-50. Just a bit hypocritical if you ask me.
ManinOP
he's more interested in enjoying himself, having fun and though maybe not opposed to a serious relationship, he wants the fun and excitement to lead to that relationship. women of the same age TYPICALLY are skeptical, want the relationship first then the excitement, and their "maturity" and "experiences" act as defensive walls that guys my age arent looking to climb. we spent enough years married trying to scale those walls. being a little carefree isnt a bad thing ladies. alternatively, younger women TYPICALLY arent as defensive, jaded, or jilted and will let their hair down, show affection more freely, and truthfully, dont USUALLY make sex a reward for good behavior. thats what marriage became for too many of us and i'm not willing to play that game anymore.
I can see the sense in what you're saying, especially the first part. Although I think many of us 40something women want the excitement just as much as well, along with the relationship. We're not all dried up prunes you know, and quite enjoy the physical aspects of a relationship . | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/5/2009 9:33:48 PM | I've had men in their late 50's contact me, and always politely respond by saying I'm looking for someone a bit closer to my own age. Often I get back "Age is just a number, but it's your loss", yet in their own profile they'll have age restrictions set 35-50. Just a bit hypocritical if you ask me.
LOL Just a bit...
As evidenced here in this thread, there are men in their 40's who would be interested in dating you. It's a bit trite, but I think that men who are only looking to date much younger women are trying to 'recapture' their youth or prove they are not getting old.
I think you just have to be patient and spread your net a bit wider. Nice guys, emotionally mature men, are out there. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/5/2009 9:46:56 PM | | Personally, I have little interest in women much younger than myself. I want to share the same phase of life experience and if I should ever speak of Richard Nixon and she said, "Who's that" I would be devastated. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/5/2009 10:11:23 PM | Re - We're not all dried up prunes you know.
Some time ago everyone under 40 started to look 25. Further complicating the whole age relevance issue are the numerous forum comments about people lying. Was this insufficiently disorienting, I would have guessed a great many of the mid to late forties ladies to be significantly younger. However, much to my theoretical advantage are the dozens of exceptionally attractive women in the 45 – 55 group within my 75-mile search radius. How they aren’t inundated with suitors (which seems to be the consensus) only augments the ever-growing category of things I don’t understand. Many grapes - few prunes. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/6/2009 5:11:04 AM | I am attracted to certain women of all ages, BUT the ones I'm most attracted to are within a ten year span of my age. My idea of attraction is physical but only combined with mental and maturity levels that are near the same as mine.
Me with a 75 year old? I shouldn't shudder but I can't help it. When I'm 75 I'll still want some one in my age range. Me with a 25 year old? Even if they weren't covered in ink and piercings and could carry on a conversation, what the hell would we have in common? That I loved her Mommy too? | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/6/2009 5:14:56 AM |
Go Rin No Sho, this isn't so much about my age parameters, which being 35-55 I don't think is too narrow, although I do prefer the 5 yr +/- age difference...
Dayumit..there it is again..missed the cutoff by one dayum year..sigh..maannnnn...
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/6/2009 5:17:29 AM | However, much to my theoretical advantage are the dozens of exceptionally attractive women in the 45 – 55 group within my 75-mile search radius. How they aren’t inundated with suitors (which seems to be the consensus) only augments the ever-growing category of things I don’t understand. Many grapes - few prunes. So, just out of curiousity, when a man in his mid to late 40's shows interest in me, should I take it seriously? Is he just looking for easy, uncomplicated sex, or is he interested in a possible relationship? I'm shy, and I don't actually respond to or encourage these guys, but maybe I should? | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/6/2009 6:58:30 AM | So, just out of curiosity, when a man in his mid to late 40's shows interest in me, should I take it seriously? Is he just looking for easy, uncomplicated sex, or is he interested in a possible relationship? I'm shy, and I don't actually respond to or encourage these guys, but maybe I should?
In my limited experience, sex has seldom been easy or uncomplicated. As for being shy, this is far preferable to terrified. Granted, some unknowable percentage of the guys you describe will be simply looking to get laid. However, the intentions of another similarly unknowable percentage will be honourable. Armed with such little information, it would seem a carefully crafted response on your part is the only way to discern the difference. This belief acts from the assumption that (thusly emboldened) the undesirables will quickly self identify. Consider the tenor of his written voice. If it’s in anyway lacking in respect you can then bolt the door. But don’t be too quick to dismiss initial awkwardness, which might dissolve with greater familiarity, and most often derives from sincerity. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/6/2009 9:40:11 AM | I think this is more of a "grass is greener" kinda thing. That's what I'm trying to figure out. I don't go looking for younger men, but I get as much interest from men in their 40's as in their 50's. I am looking for a long term relationship, for someone, something that has the potential for long term. But, men in their 50's often don't even contact women in their 50's. So, Tazed, you are 51. Do you contact mostly women in their 50's , or younger women? Because most women in their 50's seem to want men their own age, but the men don't seem to want us. Meanwhile, we are being contacted by younger men. Who is it that you are thinking, Tazed, is doing the 'grass is greener kinda thing'? The men in their 50's or the women? Or are you referring to the men in their 40's? | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/6/2009 10:07:06 AM | | There are many men in their forties who are still hoping to have children or to have more children with someone new, so dating a woman in her forties would not be something they are interested in. That's fine with me. I would rather the man who still wants kids who is in my age range look for someone who can still have them and who actually wants kids. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/6/2009 8:17:27 PM | Me too, but from women of course. lol.
Both, but mostly I contact people my own age. I like it when I don't have to fight over the radio dial. I'd contact women older than me, but they just can't keep up. Not that I'm a slick greyhound, but when something hurts, I get it fixed instead of sitting around rubbing A535 into it. My doctor calls me a pain in the ass, and once a year she gets back at me. 
most women in their 50's seem to want men their own age, but the men don't seem to want us. Baloney. That's your perception. The men that don't want women their own age aren't looking for an LTR. Keep this in mind; Finding the one that's right for you would be just as hard if everyone was your age.
I was talking about you looking over the fence. lol. "This one is too young, this one is too old, I want one like this, or that, and about 50." We all do it. Mostly on the subconscious level though.
My suggestion is to uh.... I dunno. lol. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/6/2009 8:20:23 PM | Wow this is a little comical , after reading a bunch of postings in here I just wanted to add my 2 cents. The Op is great looking from her pictures and I can see why she is getting messages from alot younger males. Myself I have stated to be 10 younger and 5 older but am alot more learie with the 10 younger. I have to agree that the younger females might not know or have as much in common as an older male.
I see alot more females looking for 10 to 15 years younger and the reason is that they want a person to keep up with them . Cmon ladies as there is alot of men in the same age rage that can keep up but might not be that arm candy to help you think you are still young and a fox as well. Dont get me wrong as ther are also alot of men trying to reasure there mid life crisis isnt happening as well.
It can come down to maturity for some but a 30 year old going after a 40 something is looking to nocth his belt and not have kids with the woman , the 40 something male is looking for the same thing and if the both genders where more honest with themselves then it would be alot better dating site as well.
So there is my 2 cents and leter rip now . | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/6/2009 8:40:34 PM |
Me too, but from women of course. lol.
Both, but mostly I contact people my own age. I like it when I don't have to fight over the radio dial. I'd contact women older than me, but they just can't keep up. Not that I'm a slick greyhound, but when something hurts, I get it fixed instead of sitting around rubbing A535 into it. My doctor calls me a pain in the ass, and once a year she gets back at me.
most women in their 50's seem to want men their own age, but the men don't seem to want us.
Baloney. That's your perception. The men that don't want women their own age aren't looking for an LTR. Keep this in mind; Finding the one that's right for you would be just as hard if everyone was your age.
I was talking about you looking over the fence. lol. "This one is too young, this one is too old, I want one like this, or that, and about 50." We all do it. Mostly on the subconscious level though.
My suggestion is to uh.... I dunno. lol. Tazed: First, please understand, I am not trying to pick a fight. I am trying to learn and understand. This online dating experience, dating of any kind, is quite new to me.
I am only trying to learn and understand. The perception about men in their 50's not wanting women in their 50's is based mostly on what I have read in forums, posts by both men and women in their 50's. The men usually give the same kind of reason you do, that the women can't keep up. Giving myself as an example, and I don't believe I am unique, I'm 6 years older than you and very active. I have no aches and pains, and have not been to a doctor for other than a yearly exam or for a bad cold once every couple of years, for the past 10 years and more....except for getting innoculations to travel to China and India. So, how good are all these assumptions? I am not trying to talk any man of any age into being interested in me. Don't want anyone who is the least bit hesitant about wanting me...and truth is...I don't need to convince anyone to be interested in me. My main question is that, as there seem to be a limted number of men in their 50's who are interested, and of those who are, even less who can and want to live the active lifestyle I live, and as there are just as many, if not more, men 10 years younger who seem interested, why shouldn't I take there interest seriously?
I mainly wanted to know if men who are 40 something are seriously interested in women 50 something: and I got a good answer from a guy who is 40 something.
Your answer reflects the ideas of many other men in their 50's, that women your own age don't/can't keep up with you. I think that that is definitely true for some, maybe the majority. It is also true for me, with what seems to be the majority. However, that doesn't keep me from looking for that guy who is closer to my age.
What's the suggestin? I think it's what the other poster, the 40 something guy, told me: go ahead and give the younger, 40 something, guys a chance: some are serious, some are not: depends on the man. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/6/2009 8:47:31 PM |
I see alot more females looking for 10 to 15 years younger and the reason is that they want a person to keep up with them . Cmon ladies as there is alot of men in the same age rage that can keep up but might not be that arm candy to help you think you are still young and a fox as well. Dont get me wrong as ther are also alot of men trying to reasure there mid life crisis isnt happening as well.
My own personal experience is very much not this. First, I went through my 'mid-life' crisis many years ago, and it turned out better than fine. What I am finding is that an awful lot of people in their 50's have decided to be 'old', in their thinking and in their lifestyle. And yes, it is VERY difficult to find men who can keep up with me. I have absolutely no interest in arm candy. I have nothing to prove to anyone. And in fact, I don't like to draw attention to myself, and as a professional in a sensitive occupation, I definitely don't want to draw attention to myself that could result in any kind of ridicule.
For me, it is simply about finding a compatible mate. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 4:19:07 AM | | ^^^Okay, you said "I'd contact women older...but they just can't keep up." Which means, 1 year? 2? To me,there's an age range above and below. You are what, 51? My experience, in RL and online, is that men in their 50's are in my age range and generally it is not a matter of me being able to keep up with them physically. In fact, you said in your post about having physical problems and going to the doctor. I don't need to go to the doctor because I don't have physical problems. My point is, and has been throughout my postings here, is that men IN THEIR 50's are often not interested in women in their 50's. You are in your 50's. You have made my point. Except, apparently, if the woman is 50 or 51. How literal. Maybe it's you who is not listening. | |
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