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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 8:27:47 AM | lol. ^^ no. 8 yrs.
8 yrs younger and their just not.... I don't know. Mature? (not the word I'm looking for)
8 yrs older and it's pushing it for me.
As for physical problems, I have none. But bullets don't bounce off my chest. I've had my dog (a big one) pull me down about 20 steps and tore my rotator cuff (shoulder). Took a year of exercise to fix. I had to jump off my deck a few years ago (15 ft off the ground) because a little guy was headed for trouble. Bent my knee the wrong way. But I got it fixed and did what the doctor told me to do. Had an endoscopic exam last year "Doc... it's the only place I haven't looked. If you see a set of keys grab them for me will you." lol.
It's been my experience that women tend to rely on voodoo medicine first to fix things instead of going to the doctor right away. Naturopaths, Homeopaths, Acupuncture, Herbalists, .... If you want to try them as a last resort, go for it. But there's a reason life expectancy isn't 35 yrs. Women also tend to wait way too long to get things checked out thinking it'll go away on it's own. I might be wrong, but it's the impression I have.
I dated a diabetic a while back, and after a month, I noticed she wasn't taking her stay alive pills. "Aren't you taking your pills?" "Oh I don't need them anymore. I feel great." "Did you ask your doctor?" "I'll make an appointment this week." "Well how about now!" lol.
It's not that I'm worried about crossing the proverbial finish line alone, but if I'm going to hook up with someone (our definition, not our kids.  ), I don't want her dying off just when semi-retirement hits (I plan on working 'till I drop). | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 8:54:45 AM |
As for physical problems, I have none. .....It's been my experience that women tend to rely on voodoo medicine first to fix things instead of going to the doctor right away. Naturopaths, Homeopaths, Acupuncture, Herbalists, .... If you want to try them as a last resort, go for it. But there's a reason life expectancy isn't 35 yrs. Women also tend to wait way too long to get things checked out thinking it'll go away on it's own. I might be wrong, but it's the impression I have.
I've never actually been hurt. Once in a car accident and had to go to physical therapy for months. Hated that. Whiplash is actually real. Who knew?! At the time I was training for a marathon (didn't get hit by the car when I was running. ... the car I was driving was rear ended). I had to quit running. And was off a year. It took a long time for that to heal, but that was 20 years ago, and I have not had another accidents or any other physical problems since. I don't have any problems to see a doctor about. So, I don't go except for annual stuff.
What you say about women not going to doctors seems to go against the prevailing wisdom. I was just reading in these threads a day or two ago how it is women who go to the doctor, seemingly for everything, while men put it off. So you are the exception to the rule, as are the women you are meeting.
I don't know about all women over 59. I have a friend who took up motorcycle riding about 10 years ago. She also bicycles daily and hikes. She's 61, and trim. I have other friends in this age range - late 50's early 60's who are also just as active. So, if you are meeting women who can't keep up, maybe it's where you are meeting them, don't know. One of the most physically fit men I have so far met online is 7 years older than I. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 8:56:54 AM | I have found that generalizing about age doesn't work.
Since my divorce I have dated a small handful of men, some just casually, one was rather serious. They range in age from 20's to 50's. The only one who was really what I would call serious was in his early 30's. I am 45.
The only thing that has really changed in all of this is that I will no longer consider dating someone under 30. All of these men were attractive, successful and intelligent. Their differences had very little to do with their ages with the exception of the youngest. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 9:07:04 AM |
Their differences had very little to do with their ages with the exception of the youngest. I agree with that. I never do get it when women say they wouldn't have anything to talk to with a man 20 years younger. I have wonderful conversations with men in their 30's. These are men who are bright, educated, funny, well read, etc. If he is someone who listens to popular music, then that is something we may not have in common, but that's one thing. If a man is educated, he knows about the historical events I lived through, and mentioning Bobby Kennedy and Sirhan Sirhan, for example, is not going to throw him for a loop.
But for me, I do want a long term, for the rest of my life relationship...something with the potential of going there anyway. So dating men in their 30's isn't really for me. But I do get the point that age is not the issue as far as compatibility. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 10:01:28 AM | I've been bucked, kicked, bent, broken, bitten, crashed, scraped, twisted, drowned, poked, and poisoned.
How? Horses, car crash, truck crash (broken back), dirt bike, dogs, skiing (That was a doozy. Head plant in the hill.), hockey, swiming (felt like someone hit me in the head with a big hammer. Contrary to popular belief, this is NOT the way to go folks). Oh and a potato salad on a picnic table. And there's more. lol.
I wasn't accident prone, I just did a lot of fun things. While I don't do much rodeoing any more, I am going on a four day fishing trip in the rockies on horseback this summer. With any luck, I'll have a grizzly bear story and scar for my grandkids.
How many 59 year old women could handle a trip like that? I'm sure there are a few, but not in my circle. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 11:04:25 AM | | Maybe this is just a temporary glitch. I just turned 50 and folks were telling me I look closer to 40. I've always been attracted to younger women and visa versa. But it seems natural attraction is more important than age difference. I've met some women in their mid fifties that looked younger than me, and we got along great because there was a good connection and we related well to each other. Perhaps we're really only as old as we feel and our actual birth date is just a technical thing? Some die young, and some die old - perhaps being with someone our own age or younger gives us hope of being together for many years to come...??? | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 11:24:29 AM | | Yes, I know a couple of gals at work who are in their mid 40s who tried this site for a while then quit in disgust because men in their own age group were uninterested. One gal is quite attractive, and you would never guess her age, I was even with her in a store one time when the clerk asked for her I.D. as she was trying to purchase a lottery ticket (the clerk thought she was under 25??). I've not been seriously looking to meet someone here, but out of curiousity I've done a variety of searches, and have noticed the age restrictions are more obvious with the 40-something men who appear to be more likely to set age restrictions a few years younger than themselves. The ones that make me laugh are the ones that set the age restriction to one year younger, and down. Really? That one year makes that much of a difference??? | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 1:53:41 PM | i too prefer women _+5 years my age . But, the fact is most women in their forties
who look half way decent , are chasing the younger guys . if your a man , this makes it hard to find someone your age . The men can become very discouraged and completely remove forty's women from their search. Alot of men will then start searching younger,older ......... wherever they can find available women
and the women wonder why ...........................?? | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 2:05:26 PM | This has been my experience as well EmeraldGreen, I'm not disgusted about it like your friends are, but it does become a little frustrating as to why it seems so many in this age group will not even accept emails from people their own age.
This thread isn't so much about being willing to look outside one's own age bracket, I don't think I've restricted myself all that much by browsing men 10 years +/- my own age. It's more about why it seems that so many will not browse or allow messages from those their own age or slightly older. I used my own age bracket, because it's what I've observed. Reading other's comments it appears to be fairly common in the 35+ group.
You read/hear some saying they don't think someone around their own age will be able to keep up with them, and while that may very well be true in some cases such as Tazed's, I don't personally know very many middle aged men who are that physically active. Rather I think they're trying to be tactful, when what they really mean is they are generally more physically attracted to a younger woman. Otherwise, why not just take it on case by case basis? You'll learn soon enough through communication and getting to know someone if they are into a more active lifestyle or not. I know plenty of 20 and 30 something women, who's idea of a physical activity is spending the day at the mall shopping, but they look hot, lol.
Maybe it's the misconception that when a woman hits 40 the sex drive goes out the window? Or as ManinOp said....they think because the sex life died during their marriage, that means that all women in that age group hate sex? That's another misconception, and it doesn't mean that the ex wife hates sex either. When the sex life goes, it's almost always due to other issues within the marriage. I don't think in most troubled marriages that it's a case of a woman rewarding or punishing her husband with sex or the lack of. Men and women are wired differently. If a woman is feeling neglected/abused/lied to etc., and it happens consistently, there's an emotional disconnect and that effects the libido aversely. Women aren't thinking to themselves "Aha! He was nice to me today, I guess I will allow him to get a little nookie tonight", or "He forgot to pick up milk from the store like I asked him too, so he's getting no lovin'". Whereas many men will still want to have sex, even if he's feeling unloved, hurt, betrayed, upset, his feelings aren't being considered etc.
Speaking from my own experience anyway, I've never used sex as a punishment or a reward, and while there may be some women who do that, I think more often than not there are serious issues going on within the relationship that have nothing to do with sex, it's just easier for some to blame the failing of a marriage on it. But that's another topic. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 2:15:18 PM | Women in their forties are great! I had the best sex of my life with two women in their early forties, bar none. I love women in their forties! They seem to enjoy plenty of sex drive, at least those I dated have.
By the way, I accept email from women up through the age of 47. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 2:23:06 PM | Oh I know it's not gender specific deere rancher, and I suppose much of it has to do with what a person is ultimately wanting and looking for. People who are primarily looking for an FB, or FWB thing are often going to do that with what type is most physically attractive to them, the personality and mutual interests/values/priorities aren't as important if it's just a physical thing, since they aren't wanting to get emotionally involved anyway.
I've had men under the age of 30 express interest, but I'm reasonably sure that they're looking to fulfill that Mrs. Robinson fantasy and that's not my relationship goal, I'd rather hold out for something of substance myself.....and I'm not judging anyone with that comment. We should all do what makes us happy, as long as everyone is on the same page.
Edited...just saw the post above mine. You're 66 and only accept mail from women 47 and under?! Wow, that's all I have to say to that, guess there's nothing wrong with being a dreamer. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 2:25:27 PM |
I had the best sex of my life with two women in their early forties, bar none. I love women in their forties! They seem to enjoy plenty of sex drive, at least those I dated have.
^^Due respect Mr. Flye? Were they both at the same time? Fellow your age should be careful of his heart, no matter how healthy he thinks he is!
By the way, I accept email from women up through the age of 47. ^^Mighty kind of you Mr. Flye, cept I am crying cuz that surely leaves me out.  | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 2:32:34 PM | Hi Moonchild48.
Love your posts. Always fun to read. You are quick and have a wonderful sense of humor.
The two women were ltr women separated in time by two years, so no, I did not enjoy them at the same time. Between those relationships I went with a woman who was 37 when we started dating. She wanted me to do a threesome with her and a lady friend of hers. The friend did not appeal to me so I declined, but that woman wanted to do some 2 women one man threesomes with me. She was a little bi.
Regarding email acceptance, based on my experience with women I used to meet from internet dating sites a woman emailer with a stated profile age 0f 47 could actually be 60 or more!!! | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 3:59:09 PM | OP, I've heard this complaint before from similarly age women. It still surprises me.
I've always preferred to date women near my age, no matter my age at the time.
However, I have been gravely disappointed with women in my age (48) group since I started dating again a couple-three years ago .
No. I don't intend to generalize all 40-something year old women, but I can help but learn from my personal experiences with several women near my age.
So, I looked at my preferences, considered the definition of insanity (doing the same thing, expecting different results), and decided I needed to alter my target age range. For the first time in my life I was going to attempt to date far outside my own age.
I intended to attempt to meet younger women, but have recently met a woman in her 50s and am quite enjoying the experience thus far.
From my experiences I have derived a theory about women in their 40s that make them difficult in the dating realm, but that's another story.
All I can tell you from my personal/regional experience is that perhaps, as I have, these men in your region that aren't dating women in their 40s have experienced the same disappointments I have. Perhaps.
My suggestion to you is, don't wait for the men you're interested in to contact you. Drop them a note!
Best wishes!
just a few thoughts | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 4:14:14 PM | | Although I am not actively dating, if I were, I'd be looking for someone in the 40 - 50 year old range. But (sniff) I'll be forced to (blinking back tears) reset my age criteria soon, because. . . I'LL BE 50!!! Bwaahaahaaaaaaa | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 4:47:40 PM |
So, just out of curiousity, when a man in his mid to late 40's shows interest in me, should I take it seriously?
I don't know, Ismene...maybe you should and good luck to you, girl! I do appreciate the OP starting this thread, very much. Boy, can I relate.
Do you know, fellow POFers, that in my many years of dating I've never had a bit of serious interest shown by men close to my own age?  Truly. The few men I have dated close to my age lost interest, pretty quickly! And what did they do? Yep, they went for the younger women!
So throughout my life, the "serious" men have either been quite a bit older than me, or several years younger. It used to bother me considerably until I realized -- their loss and certainly not mine! I then learned to enjoy what I had, and started having fun.
I was quite surprised when my current sweetie expressed serious interest in me...six years younger than me, and all that. But in terms of maturity, we are pretty close to the same. He's very much a self-made man, while I've been a bit of a late bloomer...so I guess we meet in the middle and it works! | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 5:34:11 PM | Greetings:
May I posit a theory.
There have been a couple of posts that were close to my thinking, but didn't quite go far enough. It is my opinion that men, and I'm limiting this to men, in the 40-50 yo age range looking for women 10-20 years younger are locked in a time warp. Many of them were in marriages for 2, maybe 3, decades. Somewhere along the way, the marriage blew up, before or after the kids left, and the man finds himself hitting the bricks again.
But, while they've gotten older their perception of what's attractive or desirable has evolved little, if any. For many of these men what they were attracted to in their twenties is still their exemplar. And it is understandable.
Ladies, speaking from the opposite side of the gender gap, a lot of you have let your selves go. In church and socially, very few of the women I cross paths with have made the effort to keep the weight off and maintain some semblance of the level of fitness they had in your twenties. This reality is reflected here on PoF as well. I see few women who have BMIs below 30, much less below 25. And don't get me started on muscle tone.
And, yes, this also goes for the men as well. While there are many men over 50 who still have a concave waist, the great majority are more convex about the middle as well.
As for myself, I find that I am most attracted to women around my age range who have taken the time, made the effort, to stay healthy. To me it shows a healthy respect for yourself, that you have self discipline, and there is the perception of greater vivacity, in and outside the boudoir. In a more personal vein, I'm the first to admit to a weight problem myself, in that if I didn't watch my intake I would often be confused with a lost baby beluga. So for me, a woman who knows her limits and exercises that element of self discipline is more inclined to be a fit with my life style.
TK | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 7:00:25 PM | ^^^ Duly noted.However, I do think many of us are way too cerebral about all this.We seek the perfect, being imperfect ourselves.We judge, we condemn, we hypothesize and anticipate problems related to age, wealth, baggage, weight.....surely , in our age bracket only a few would meet every criteria.So few qualify, and there are so many of the rest of us....where will that leave us all, senile and single?
Not me.Here in Australia, there are many outstanding normal guys in their forties.I try not to judge them.And I dont think most of them judge me.I dont particularly care what most people do or think, regarding age.After all, I only want one. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 7:47:04 PM | ^^^Forever darlin? Wisest words have never been said so eloquently! I truly think that is what it all boils down to. Our inability to accept others as they are, imperfections and all. None of us is 21 anymore whether we like to admit it or not.
And Mr. Levi? You have broken this Cannuck gal's tiny heart! Seriously, I wish you all the best in your new relationship. You are a good man and you deserve it! | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 8:56:26 PM | So it seems we have some who stand in the "Women in their 40's are bitter, cynical man hating/male bashing shrew" camp and some in the "Women in their 40's have let themself go physically and/or can't keep up" Hmmmmm, I'm somewhat taken aback and surprised actually. Eye opening to say the least, especially the former.
Tarnished Knight's comment:
Ladies, speaking from the opposite side of the gender gap, a lot of you have let your selves go. In church and socially, very few of the women I cross paths with have made the effort to keep the weight off and maintain some semblance of the level of fitness they had in your twenties. This reality is reflected here on PoF as well. I see few women who have BMIs below 30, much less below 25. And don't get me started on muscle tone.
At 5'3, 113lbs I have a bmi of 20, and I definitely have muscle tone. There are people of all ages who are out of shape, and/or overweight, yet it's seems that many men will just assume that women of a certain age will just let themselves *go*, and therefore will not even browse profiles of women past that age (even though it may be their very own age)? Or to set their mail restrictions so that women around his age are not able to contact him, all based on the thinking that every woman over the age of 40 doesn't care about her health or keeping in shape? I'll be honest here, I am not generally physically attracted to men 10 yrs older than I am, I've seen many who look much older than they claim to be. But I don't rule that age group out, I do look at those age ranges and don't have email age restrictions on my profile.
The other camp of women over 40 bashing men, having issues with men, withholding sex and all that. Well I don't even know what to say to that...are we a little more cautious? You bet, I think most of us try to learn from our past mistakes. I know I don't sit around with my friends bashing men in general, Sure women talk about their relationships, over analyze and all that, but we don't sit around saying to each other "All men suck! All men are this, all men are that!"
humungo, do you really believe this is true?
I don't think of women as flawed, evil, stupid, clueless the way so many women in their 40's seem to think of men as such.
I wouldn't gage what's posted/said on the forums as the gospel truth. Generally speaking, people who start most of the threads are those who are going through relationship problems and issues, those who have been dumped, those who are confused etc., it doesn't necessarily reflect how the majority of the population think about the other gender. People who are involved in a happy, healthy relationship don't come to the forums starting positive threads, and those who do, generally post them in the testimonials forum.
Thanks for the comments all, it's been enlightening. | |
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| Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's?
Posted: 4/7/2009 9:26:53 PM | | No, not quick enough. It sometimes takes me a minute to recover from a lapse, wake up from the trance, so seductive is the illusion of actual conversation here in the playground of fastidious indictment. All in good fun. | |
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