| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:32:46 PM |
I agree its a respect issue. to me the whole "friends first" mentality is just a way to get all the benefits of a relationship without the obligations or expectations.
I don't share your perception of "friends first". The alternative to becoming close friends is hopping into bed with a person you don't really know that well and who ISN'T your close friend. Before I would ever love someone, I would first need to like them very deeply and know it's reciprocal and that we are becoming a couple, mentally and emotionally. Otherwise, how does it differ from a couple of dogs in heat who go their separate ways once the moment is over? | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:28:23 AM | I agree its a respect issue. to me the whole "friends first" mentality is just a way to get all the benefits of a relationship without the obligations or expectations.
Wow, I should call every woman I have ever seen. Then tell them, hey I used you!!!!
Rules are the walls, that other build for us. Try asking, and quit the uneducated, uninformed decisions. If the opinions are educated, then they are bound to be wrong.
Nothing like an expert, to show "true ignorance".
I should know, I am an expert. 
As a paradox, I am always taken wrong. The few who get me, are really my friends.
Real friends, not FWB. See, guys have to justify every word. What does he mean? Hmmmmmmm. Let me see. The last guy was like this, so the next one must be so.
I am a complicated person, but I know myself. So, it is actually kinda funny.
I see only one a time, and that means dating. If there is a connection, then take the time to see who . Not disect it, or talk about it. Have it, then have something to overthink.
Then, we join the what happened forum. What happened........I completely misunderstood the real thing, and now I am bummed.
So, that has happened often to me. I just say, see ya.......If you jump to conclusions so easily, then men must all be alike.
So, surely you are an expert.
Meeting a woman with these "rules", is very difficult. So, I never even try.......
Yet, I am always one meeting away from leaving. So.........
I have dogs, and they are a lot more compassionate than many people. Perhaps, we should use people as an analogy. They were so dumb, they acted just like people. 
Now, someone will call me a narcissist. yawn..........
Tnks, good luck to all of you.... | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:50:43 AM | I'm jumping in a little late on this but here is what i have observed over time.
While online dating exposes us all to a vast amount of opportunities, it's also it's downfall. cause even if you reach a point of regularly seeing someone, as soon as thr date is over they rush home and hop online to see if they can find someone even better. Sometimes you may have a near perfect match, but with so many choice online peopel cannot accept that to be the truth, someone out just HAS to be better, and so you have serial daters. And quite frankly, having to ask someone if you are exclusive only make s one seem insecure. When you know something is right you just feel it. Cause you dont' do and share certain things with people unless you both feel those things.
Now of course if you are simply dating casually, you make it clear that you both are and things are just fine. What we are talking about here is people that lead you to believe that you're exclusive then drop the bombshell on you later. | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/26/2009 5:46:32 PM | I can only handle dating one at a time these days. I've tried "juggling" in the past, and it just didn't work over time, because you do eventually start comparing one to the other, instead of making more of an effort to truly get to know one.
However, if you're not exclusive with each other, and you meet someone who's already dating others, before they've met you, then you can't really tell them to stop dating those others. It really depends on if they like to "juggle". If they do, then move on to someone else who doesn't. | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/26/2009 6:12:37 PM | If a man knocks my socks off and wants to be exclusive with me, I will consider it and discuss it with him. As an attractive, intelligent, talented woman, I want that in a man. It takes some time to determine the qualities of an elligible bachelor; and if he is really elligible.
I was married for 24 years and led an exclusive life. I'm not looking for marriage.
I am looking for passion; not necessarily, sex.
To find a compatible person takes time, energy, great communication and much in common; ie respect, communication, fun, depth of personhood.
We all want the best we can attain; relationships don't just happen they are worked for and developed in time. | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/26/2009 6:22:56 PM | | hey...I've been out of the dating loop for a long time... what do you mean you haven't really "dated" you've just been someone's girlfriend? What's the difference?... just curious.. and I'm wondering how that difference might be my situation....I'm thnking I'm his girlfriend but he's thinking we are dating. | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/26/2009 6:39:58 PM | I date only one at a time...
Recently, I have been having great e-mail exchanges with a girl from another country. I now find it hard to seriously find anyone else on here without first visiting her in her country and truly checking her out if we can be possible.
We shared so many stories together that I feel like starting anew with someone closer feels wierd... I know it sound hilarious; feeling like I am cheating on someone I haven't even met yet.
That's how it feels right now, anyway. | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/27/2009 5:02:22 PM |
However, if you're not exclusive with each other, and you meet someone who's already dating others, before they've met you, then you can't really tell them to stop dating those others. It really depends on if they like to "juggle". If they do, then move on to someone else who doesn't.
I was a juggler, who had a first date with my current boyfriend while I was already in the process of dating others. After 6 weeks of dating, I found that when I went out with others, I was thinking about him. I made the decision to stop dating others and focus on him. Once I did, he seemed to draw closer to me. Things are going very well, and it has been almost three months since our first date.
Just because you go out with someone who is dating others does not mean they will not stop the group dating and focus on you. If they feel the connection with you they will stop dating others. You don't have to move on to someone else. Relationships do not happen overnight. Don't give up on someone just because they are spending time with others. If it was meant to be the others will fall away soon enough. | |
|
| |
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/27/2009 9:28:24 PM | Are there any people left that date one at a time?
^^^ when I am truly interested in one guy and not many..it is he who gets my undivided attention and effort. It is him I desire. I cant possible date more then one, I couldnt bare the thought, knowing I was leading more then one man on...just not right in my books and not acceptable.... so hes got MY ALL attention besides, I would want to be his only one so in return he would be my only one too, hes all I would need. | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 4/28/2009 8:31:50 AM | OP: I agree, but you've got to have that "talk". Y'know, the exclusivity talk. Otherwise, you're just making assumptions.
"Well, I see no reason to look elsewhere...how about you?"
Then trust that whatever she tells ya is the truth. | |
|
| |
| |
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2009 3:45:02 PM | I would never make a good serial dater........My personal belief is that if you meet someone and there is good conversation and possibly a small spark then you have to go on several dates to see if there is a possibility of anything further.......and in order to give someone a fair chance how can you date a bunch of others at the same time.....
when you do that you have to remember what this one said.....what this one likes......where you took that one.....to me thats to much....If you cant pull yourself away for a few dates with just one person then there is something wrong....
If you dont honestly give someone a chance to get to know them then you are never going to find a good relationship......and isnt that what everyone says they want????
JMO | |
|
| |
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2009 3:59:20 PM |
Just because you go out with someone who is dating others does not mean they will not stop the group dating and focus on you. If they feel the connection with you they will stop dating others. You don't have to move on to someone else. Relationships do not happen overnight. Don't give up on someone just because they are spending time with others. If it was meant to be the others will fall away soon enough.
I think there ae two distinct views on that and members of those two groups are simply not compatible with each other. Before I'll meet someone, I ask up front what she expects in that regard if we were to end up dating. If she expects to date multiple people and then narrow the field, I don't meet her unless she doesn't mind me never being more than a casual date which will stop when I meet someone who expects an exclusive relationship from the start. | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/4/2009 4:05:25 PM |
question is how do most of you go about dating?
do you give the respect of your full attention or do you play games and lead on?
I've only ever dated one person at a time, and given them my full attention from the start. I've also never actually had an "exclusivity" talk with any of them, because none of the men I've dated in the past were dating other people at the same time anyway and they knew I wasn't. We met, we liked each other and enjoyed each other's company, and continued things from there.
If I'd met someone who was actively dating a few others, I'd probably just keep them in the friends department, but not really pursue anything seriously with them. JMO. | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/5/2009 5:00:59 PM | I am so busy with work and life that if I tried to date two ladies my feeble brain would probably get confused and I might end up calling one of them my cats name, so just do not do it. Not that my cats name is bad but then she might not appreciate it either! :)
If someone is worth spending my time on, as well as theirs to try a date, then concentrate on one person at a time. Guess as well I am kinda old school. | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/5/2009 10:51:46 PM | I think it's wrong to NOT date one at a time; I may message someone as a friend but if I'm into one person, thats the person I'm into; I try to see if something can happen.
Most like a lot of attention from a lot of people but frankly I dont have the time for it even if I wanted to and I dont. | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/6/2009 6:37:37 AM | OP , I know that many men and women on here play games and I have even made a statement about not wasting my time if this is what a man's intentions are. I'm sincerely here to find a long term relationship but still have some issues about paying to tell people I'm a serious member, so I just choose to let them know on my profile.
Usually, I'll try to chat with a few guys that have peaked my interest, first on here and then on the phone because you really can't tell much about a person until you've heard a voice. Once the connection is made and a date is set up, I can tell from the first date if there will be a second date. Sometimes I'll give it a second date due to first date jitters ,but I think most people know if a person is their type within the first half hour of meeting them...it's either there or it isn't. My intuition on that has usually been dead on and tend to trust it. If I find that , yeah this is someone I'd like to get to know better, I won't be dating anybody else because it's not a fair thing to do and I don't feel I'm giving anybody a fair chance like this. If you just want to date for the sake of dating , you'll never really find someone because in your own mind you'll always be thinking , well , maybe there is someone better out there, or someone that can offer me more. I gave up that type of thinking a long time ago.
If I like the guy and we've had a great first date, depending on the conversation and his attitude, I most likely wouldn't want to date anyone else, however, if his attitude is that he would still like to date around, well that is a different story. This should all be communicated from the beginning so that there are no hard feelings and that both know what each wants from this. I tend to be a very open person when it comes to what I am looking for and that usually opens the door for the man to be open as well. I do find that there are those who say they want to be exclusive , you agree to remove each others profiles, yet he still has his on and is on it several times a day...lot's of game players on here so both the men and women have to be a bit careful with this , but in the end , it is your gut feel that you need to rely on the most. | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/6/2009 4:04:22 PM | | I'm just not the serial dater kind of guy. So dating one woman at a time is the way for me. Plus I would probably feel guilty about dating more than one woman at a time anyway. | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/11/2009 1:15:05 PM | In my age range, some of the men on here are really slow movers, in that they might only ask a lady out once a month or every other weekend and that is if they really like her. If you are "dating" men like this it is foolish to think dating one and only one is realistic. I dated/talked to as many as six men at once. However, I was up front about it. I was not adverse to exclusive dating, however, would not sit home and wait for four weeks for date number two.
I met my current boyfriend while I was communicating with other men. He knew I was dating others. He however was not seeing other women. He focused on me and me alone. With his focused attention he clearly set himself apart from the others. I had not desire to see other men anymore. When I asked him if he wanted me to stop dating other men, he responded "things are happening so fast." I replied, "fine then I will continue to date." To this he responded, "well let me think about it." He honestly did not know what he wanted. For him, I think there was less pressure on him to not feel I expected a commitment if I was dating other men.( I might add that I was not physically involved with any of these men other than kissing. I can not be physically involved with more than one man at a time. )
This is the same man that when asked if I had done something wrong, when he took a few days "hiatus" said, "No you have not done anything wrong, you do everything right, you are everything I ever wanted in a woman." This man poured out these feelings to me, but a piece of him was afraid to see me exclusively. Several days later, I unilaterally made the decision to date him exclusively. I think it meant something to him that I stopped dating others, and that he did not have to ask.
We are now past the three month mark since our first date. I stopped juggling after about six weeks. A man should have enough confidence in himself that if a woman is dating more than one man at a time that if he makes his intentions known to her she will hear him, and if the foundation for a relationship is there, she will choose to see only you. | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/11/2009 4:34:42 PM | I could not imagine dating more then one person at a time. If I had that much free time, I'm either not spending enough time enjoying my own life apart from another person, or I'm not spending enough time at work or other things I like to do to get ahead.
Sometimes it backfires... I'm sure I'd meet more people if I dated multiple at once. It's just while meeting someone is important to me, so are a lot of other aspects to my life.
The time and money and time time and time required to date multiple people I'd just feel more comfortable focusing on quality time with one person, and the rest on me enjoying life in general and my own success (cough) andfailures (cough). | |
|
| Are there any people left that date one at a time?
Posted: 5/11/2009 4:45:13 PM | I'd be glad to date one at a time that had time....
Men are so busy all the time an they figure they can go a week or two without calling you - by that time I'm talking to the next potential individual.
I'm not going to limit myself to dating one person who is only available when HE wants something...but when I find that man who is actually going to be an active participant in a relationship he is going to be one LUCKY s.o.b.  | |
|
Home
login 
