| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/4/2009 6:35:36 PM | | I would agree very rare indeed... I've had one... and we were engaged.... but sometimes not even that is enough... | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/4/2009 6:49:45 PM | You both have to want it.At that time.no other reasons your both just hott at the moment..So i guess its just timeing.  | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:37:52 PM | very rare.... comes around every 46 years lol... i found mine 6 months ago..
and i agree 100% with everything that blondcharmthe3rd says... | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/4/2009 8:43:39 PM | | They are rare. They are men who are into the moment, paying very close attention, experienced enough to know every woman is unique, and are on an intuitive, sensual level, not just sexual. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/5/2009 3:51:42 AM | I think men have to learn techniques to be a good lover. Some men have leaned about them selves and a lot about woman.
I feel the ones who really don't get it right all the time are the ones who have thought it is natural and there is nothing to learn.
I think it depends on how much they like you .. Fore play is the answer... alot will fumble their way through. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/5/2009 7:12:05 AM | Oh here I go being the oddball out again...
I find the opposite to be true......in my experiences.....
the good have far outweighed the bad ones!
Maybe we just raise 'em right here in Indiana!!
or I bring out the best in 'em  | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/5/2009 7:40:33 AM | I think to be a really good lover you have to be willing to selflessly tend to the other person's wants, needs, desires and fantasies. This kind of selflessness usually involves some kind of committment or deep feelings for the one you're with. And for the whole session to be mind blowing, both people have to be willing to treat each other with that passion. Communication is also a key element. Each person has something different that drives them wild, if you can convey that to each other, you both win. Of course simply enjoying pleasing the other person is a huge plus. There's nothing like watching the expression on their face, or the look in their eyes, or the way their mouth moves when you can tend to the entirety of their needs rather than just dive in for the pot of gold (so to speak).  | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/5/2009 7:59:00 AM | Like some have posted it depends on the compatibility and sexual comfort of the two lovers. If I am allowed to pay attention without talk getting in the way I tend to enjoy it more, as does the partner. I dont mind dirty talk but it has it's limits. The better we're able to enjoy all our senses the better. Really good lovers are few and far between. I've had 3 out of over 35 partners. I am lucky to be with one such person now and I aint letting her go!
All it takes for ANY man to be an adequate lover is to a) have a pulse b) not bee too selfish and not be a 2 minute wonder c)confidence d) ability to change pace/technique. Far as I know an man meeting those qualifications will most likely not suck, even if he has a mini-me weiner! | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/5/2009 9:06:41 AM | | I think the key for either sex to rise in their love-making, "ability," is to know how to let go of the "self" and become part of the "us." As in when you derive pleasure out of giving your partner pleasure. And then they derive further pleasure by pleasing you, and on and on it goes. Not to just discover your partner, but to discover yourself as well and have your lover open the doorway that allows that to happen. If you can both let go of a sense of separateness and forge a new identity where you don't know where you end and your partner begins...then you are both becoming very good lovers. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/5/2009 9:18:05 AM | | I think it depends on the chemistry between the 2 people involved. I have found it to be very rare. That is why when I find one I like to hang on to him. My last great one was 2 1/2 years ago. I have only dated 3 others since him. So only trying out 3 others they were not good lovers at all. I loose interest in them. If it can't be mind blowing then I don't want it. I found these 3 men only cared about themselves and I that type that I focus on the man. So with no one focusing on me I think that is part of the end result. The guy like u spoke of above probably puts the woman before himself. Wish I could find one like that. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/5/2009 2:05:32 PM |
a solid understanding of the Kama Sutra is foundational for all good lovers Bull$hit. You can be a phenomenal lover and never heard of the Kama Sutra; or you can memorize the Kama Sutra, and still suck. Several positions in the Kama Sutra require extra people to hold you in place. Somehow I don't think that's a critical ingredient for anything.
The other two big components are quite simply the attraction between two people and comfort...If you aren't completely enthralled and comfortable with your lover at that moment, the sex simply won't be great... I think a large part of being a great lover, is being able to read your partner well enough to know how to get her to be comfortable with you in the moment. To be able to "walk" her into a deep level of comfort and trust; and to KNOW when different approaches are called for whether they be: humor or seriousness, laughter or silence, a brush of the lips, or a passionate kiss, caressing her cheek, or placing her open palm against your face...
I think men have to learn techniques to be a good lover. SO DO WOMEN; and this is something so few women are truly aware of. So many women feel that all they have to do is show up, and play with the guys penis; and a lot don't even go that far. I've had several lovers; many who were completely forgtable; but only a very small handful that I would call "great".
Personally I find it is the men who read my body language who make the greatest lovers...In my experience, these "types" of men are few and far between...They can tell by the goosebumps on my skin or the quiver in my thighs that I'm really enjoying it and then know that perfect moment to either kick it up a knotch or slow it down...
They are men who are into the moment, paying very close attention, experienced enough to know every woman is unique, and are on an intuitive, sensual level, not just sexual. Bingo. I thing these two posts sum it up very well. I also strongly disagree with those of you who say that technique and experience aren't a factor. Yes, for a mind blowing experiece some type of "connection" has to be there; but even IF the connection is there; and the guy has poor technique or ability, you end up with a great connection, and mediocre sex.
Talking to the women I know; I'm told that great male lovers, like the one the OP was discussing, are exceedingly rare; I know that great female lovers certainly are. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/16/2009 3:36:15 AM | I think they are rare but definately out there. I seem to have a hard time finding the total package to be honest. Either it's a deep emotional bond or friendship or mindblowing amazing sex. I can't seem to find both.
I do agree it is subjective though and it takes two people to make it amazing no matter what the talents are of one over the other. I also think it takes a good degree of trust to make it that amazing. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/16/2009 4:19:04 AM | Very rare.
I have had 1 good partner.
I am open, talk about my preferences, tell my partners what I need to get 'there'...and have only had one man do those things...yet when they tell me what gets them going, I cannot wait to try those things for him. I always thought if you give of yourself, you get back. Not the case.
Talk is so cheap and easy.
My ex husband was always asking me what he could do to get me 'there'...and 5 mins into the act he was done and sleeping. I found talking about it more annoying afterwards, because I felt 'why bother'...'you never hear me anyways or follow thru'. He would say 'tonight Im gonna kiss you all over'...and he'd get from my earlobe to the base of my neck and start jack hammering right away, and then be surprised I hadnt met him 'there'.
I was young and didnt know any better...but a man I dated for a while after the divorce opened my eyes and I cant ever go back to a selfish lover now. I have seen 'the light'. LOL | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:14:53 AM | " The guy like u spoke of above probably puts the woman before himself. Wish I could find one like that."
Mello they are out there dont give up hope....
sometimes some training helps and maturity (not age related) just plain respect, maturity and caring is what it takes...
ps look at my profile if u want and comment as well | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 4/16/2009 10:44:41 AM | It really does take two!
Of course, skill enters into the mix, but there is far more to it than that. There is sincerity, passion, attention, time (to build the intensity and take things to their conclusion), playfulness, enthusiasm, creativity, sensuality and touch, a desire to please, mutual attraction, and a hard-to-define connection that puts you "in tune" with each other. There are probably other factors that come into play - histocompatibility complex (MHC), pheromones, etc. - that most aren't aware of except subconsciously.
The very best lovers have all of this, so of course this is rare! Some of it can be learned over time, but some people never fully get some aspect of it.
I can only say that all of this exists with my present partner, and I have never experienced it to this degree with anyone else. I have had some wonderful lovers - and they have said the same of me - but there is both a quantitative and qualitative difference between them and my present partner. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:10:20 PM | I thought I had made it clear to you not to broadcast my prowess to all !!..Ahh well it is both my blessing and curse to bear... | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:13:30 PM | Ever heard the phrase "It takes 2 to tango"? It takes more than just the male to make a sexual encounter whether it be casual or in a relationship something memorable and earth shattering. You are giving men to much credit.
I am not talking about a man that can get you off once or even twice, I am talking about a man that makes you feel like nobody else. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2009 12:33:14 AM |
They are rare. They are men who are into the moment, paying very close attention, experienced enough to know every woman is unique, and are on an intuitive, sensual level, not just sexual.
Thank You for describing me! I think I may put this in my profile
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2009 3:43:22 AM |
I have a good friend and he has traveled around the world extensively and has slept with many women. This man speaks from experience. He tells me that many women told him that "nobody else makes them feel like him".
Really? Did he also say that George Clooney borrowed his face 15 years ago and has refused to return it, or that Shaggy wrote 'Mr Lover Lover' just for him? 
Maybe good lovers are not judged on their own merit, but only by comparison to previous partners - who wouldn't? One person's mindblowing lover is another's yawn. I would say the best way to make yourself a bedroom immortal is: listen to your partner, keep your antennae primed, and ask questions. And when you become really good at something under the sheets, make damn sure you get even better at it. And then some.  | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2009 12:37:27 PM | | Its a combination of several factors of you don't get out what you don't put into something. Along with that it does take 2 to tango. If you partner just isn't into you or having sex with you then the experience no matter how good you are or think you are just won't be there. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:26:37 PM | | I have had several very good lovers, the kind that you would do it anywhere, any place, any time. They make you feel super sexy, and very beautiful. They make you feel comfortable to do what comes natural | |
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