| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:36:15 PM | Really good lovers are few and far between. But many women are programmed to stroke the male ego by emitting the phrase 'oh no one has ever made me feel like you can', so you guys please don't rely on this for research. Women lie all the time. They tell you that you are the best, the only man that ever made them orgasm, the biggest, blah blah blah...I don't know why we do it, probably because it makes you happy, and we all want to make you happy. Just for the same reason we fake orgasms from time to time.
Thank God I quit doing that years ago.
Beth | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:36:24 PM | Really good lovers are few and far between. But many women are programmed to stroke the male ego by emitting the phrase 'oh no one has ever made me feel like you can', so you guys please don't rely on this for research. Women lie all the time. They tell you that you are the best, the only man that ever made them orgasm, the biggest, blah blah blah...I don't know why we do it, probably because it makes you happy, and we all want to make you happy. Just for the same reason we fake orgasms from time to time.
Thank God I quit doing that years ago.
Beth | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2009 2:30:20 PM | This thread is depressing me. I haven't been with that many men but my last LTR was amazing! From this thread I can deduct that my next will be a dud. I am so glad I'm in the sex forums today.  Spank you very much.  | |
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| SPANK YOU VERY MULCH
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:19:01 PM | Spanking? Did I hear somebody say span ....
I suggested on one of my TRY THIS posts that a wee sprig of ginger wedged in yo bum would ummm "enhance" a good spanking / GSpot kind of evening.
Strange. Several women posted a few days later and called me EVIL!
Me!
Good in bed, you ask?
At my age I'd suggest the number one thing is .... being there.
Ok seriously. A self-confidence and a willingness to explore and be explored, to try anything that could / might / does turn on your partner. To WALLOW in her presence. To sup from her body. To consume her. To take her and allow all those animal instincts to dominate. To use every method, trick, technique and desire you have seen, learned, read about or love doing in order to drive your partner insane. If she feels the same way then OBVIOUSLY the chemistry is there so you both feel that deep sense of love and satisfaction even when all that sex craziness turns into a quiet night of making love on a beach in front of a fire or in your own bed Sun day morning.
*sigh* | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2009 7:31:33 PM | | Good lover or bad lover is all relative. I haven't been with a lot of guys, I tend to be a serial monogamist and stay with one guy for a while, but of the guys I've been with I would consider only 2 to have been really good. Even my first, who could go over and over..which I sadly found out after him was a rare thing LOL.. I didn't consider to be all that great of a lover, for various reasons. But, I don't blame the guys and say they are just not good lovers, they just weren't good with me. I"M not the same person with each guy either. I'm different in bed with each guy I've ever been with, depending on the level of trust, love, connection, etc between us. Someone I may consider to be completely useless in bed, might be the best thing she ever had to the next girl he's with .. I'm not saying there aren't some people that are actually just bad lovers, because they're completely clueless, selfish, etc, and some aren't naturally amazingly talented LOL..just that it's all relative. I would say those who are just naturally amazingly talented and can make almost any woman happy are pretty rare though. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:30:30 PM | Hmmm...
How rare is that one lover that is just like no other ?
Well I guess that's PRETTY RARE lol. WTF? This guy travels the world and sleeps with numerous women who all say "he's the best"?? Who's your friend?? F***in' James Bond?? lol
Well, I guess I have to admit, WE are a rare breed... lol | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2009 8:34:46 PM | I think good lovers are made, not born.
I also find that you can only really be as good as your partner.
But when you end up with a really great lover...you never forget it.
I would say they are rare enough to miss having one but I think that people can become good lovers if they learn how to please their partner enthusiastically. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2009 9:11:31 PM | i think you would have to define really good lovers as one who can please greatly a WIDE AREA OF SEXUAL NEEDS. in other words he/she pleases a lot of people with varying tastes. that is rare.
i define a good lover as one who is good FOR YOU. for the next person they may be horrible. but for you they are the greatest.
i hate calamari and i hate tomatos. but lots of people LOVE them. it's the same with good lovers. it's what your taste in love is.
one woman's great lover is the next woman's DUD.
REALLY GREAT LOVER'S are rare. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/29/2009 10:49:36 PM | Ever heard the phrase "It takes 2 to tango"? It takes more than just the male to make a sexual encounter whether it be casual or in a relationship something memorable and earth shattering. You are giving men to much credit.
Horns , I agree with you 100 % I think sometimes it takes a woman to turn a man into a great lover. Not necessarly teaching , but bringing out that enthusiasm in there male partner. If you are into the moment , I am there also . | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/30/2009 7:57:12 PM | | I agree with miss contemplative and TOMIC... It depends on the pair's chemistry. I guess there are some kind of.. "universally great lovers" out there, but that's just a matter of being in tune with your partner and knowing how to communicate. As long as someone is really enthused about what (and who) they're doing lol and they are willing to try things and please the other person... that sounds like the criteria for a great lover to me. At least you have to say they have the potential. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 6/30/2009 9:49:43 PM | | I dated a gal who found her at-the-time bf's little black book. He had a rating system using stars. She scored 5 out of 5. I was not the least bit surprised. Never having been a rock-star, it's fun to shag like one, if the opportunity presents itself. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 5:34:12 AM | Do you have his phone number? 
I've actually had one of these lovers and in my opinion they are very rare. It's a fine line between liking and being good at what you do and being obsessed with it to an unhealthy level. I think some of the ones who are truly great at it probably take it to a level that most women won't put up with.
Let's face it, as women, we'll end a relationship if the sex isn't good enough for long enough and we'll also end a relationship that is only rooted in great sex after a while.
I know my guy was amazing in bed. So much so that every time I thought of breaking up with him I would say, ok, after one more round to remember him by. But that does end after a while if you're looking for a lasting loving relationship. He was to into himself. He would openly talk about wanting to have strange sex with other women to me like I was one of his buddies. He would openly oggle women on the street. It was actually quite pathetic. In many ways... | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:31:29 AM | | I took a survey. Most women say twenty percent of the men they have been with good actually get them off, however a woman doesn't have to get off for the sex to be good. The thing is if you caaaan get them off, and you're not an ass hole, you pretty much have ownership. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you are in the 80% lol | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:47:00 AM |
How rare is that one lover that is just like no other? Rare enough that they aren't a dime a dozen. They would probably be less rare if women (not every woman of course, just women in general) would step up and be willing to communicate their needs to their partners and teach them how they want it. Of course this is assuming the man is open to suggestions and willing to try a few things.
A friend of mine the other day was telling me about her rendevous with a fellow she'd been seeing. She flat out told him he was great in bed when he asked but then turned around and told me that he was "meh....". My first thought was ok...then why did you tell him he was great???? I'll never understand that.... there's constructive and positive ways to tell someone they need to step it up a notch or two without hurting their feelings. I think if more people did that, the "rare" awesome lover would be more plentiful. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:02:26 AM | i'm in line with most here... physicality isn't everything, though it means alot. first of all, you can't call someone you're not attracted to a good lover...makes no sense. then there is the actual act itself.
but it's as much mental. knowing when to be gentle or rough...hard or slow...knowing what turns you on...etc.
feel it's the same for males and females.
...and don't forget that actually being "in love" with someone always makes the love making better.
body, mind, spirit | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 11:15:11 AM | | Also women are different, mainly it's about how attracted, comfortable with you, and comfortable with themselves they are. If the attraction level is high enough, just the suspense of foreplay could get them off. The thing is alot of women say they don't have orgasms, but I think it's that most guys are terrible in bed. I mean porno sex is fake so as a guy you shouldn't emulate porn stars. Really if anyone truly wants to get better in bed there is a book called the multi orgasmic man. Read it I promise it will help. Also you should have a few techniques that are proven, a couple old faithfuls. Try them first if they don't work, then move to plan B. I'll tell you how you know you get your girl off, because she will start getting pissed when you don't. lol ladies you know you do that! | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 11:30:41 AM | | I took a survey. Most women say twenty percent of the men they have been with actually got them off, however a woman doesn't have to get off for the sex to be good. The thing is if you caaaan get them off, and you're not an ass hole, you pretty much have a woman that will love you and be faithful for life. Every woman is different, but the basic anatomy is the same i.e. the inside of the arm, ears(just dont slobber in my ear a lil nibble will suffice), lower back, back of the scalp, under the belly button, inner thigh, etc... In fact every woman has at least one spot, that has nothing to do with the privates, that will drive them wild. You just have to find it, and that's half the fun!!!! Sure some girls want to get choked out and smacked, and some girls want you to gently run your fingertips through their hair while you gently kiss their neck, buuut the lock is their waiting to be opened. I personally like to incorporate different massage techniques during love making(I'm a love maker, not a screw) AHHH man I love this topic I could go all day. Guys don't be afraid to admityou're not that good. It's fixable pick up a book. Right now you're thinking "You can't learn to please a woman from a book" Keep thinking that buddy!!!!lol | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:35:29 PM | Hi there folks, my first post in a forum here...
I think part of the answer may be with a different question - "How rare are really good relationships?" It would seem to me that if you had a really good relationship with your lover, you can find many ways to keep each other happy in the physical and mental sense. By a really good relationship I should say that I mean one that encompasses real trust, intimacy and superb communication. If you trust each other enough to communicate what you like, what you don't and what just needs a little work, the rest can happen if each of you want to do the work involved to turn good sex into great sex.
However, that doesn't mean you can't have a really good lover without a good relationship. Plenty of people on this thread have already shared evidence of that too! But for a long term relationship, at least the ones I have seen first hand, a great relationship can lead to each person being the best lover for the other with some encouragement, a little humor, understanding, patience and communicating about what works, and what drives you wild.
Happy July First everyone!
I wish you all a good long weekend.  | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 2:03:40 PM | I can't believe people participating in stupid discussion like this. Are we half brain dead?
Can I ask a similar question? "How rare is the fastest man on earth?"
Or let me dumb down the question more "How rare is the current richest man?"
Stupidity.
I guess lots of good questions have discussed to death. Now we can only entertain ourselves with stupid questions. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 2:25:44 PM | | Very! most think they are great and i`m sure have been told that just to spare their feelings. the times i have told someone they need to work on something it pissed them off and they always say"nobody else has ever complained". I`m sure they didn`t want to hurt any feelings. It`s all about attitude and aptitude i think. you don`t have to know everything but need to have the desire to learn everything and the ability to do so. being uninhibited is very important too, don`t hold back baby. i think many are afraid we will think of them as sluts if they just go ahead and do certain things or if they ask for something a little freaky but that`s what we`re there for. There is a time to be cool and straight up and a time to be an all out slut. when you`re in my bed i want a kamakaze and i will be too, we`ll be cool when it`s called for. | |
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Joined: 6/25/2009
Msg: 75 | |
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