| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 7:14:19 PM |
I can't believe people participating in stupid discussion like this. Are we half brain dead?
Can I ask a similar question? "How rare is the fastest man on earth?"
Or let me dumb down the question more "How rare is the current richest man?"
Stupidity.
I guess lots of good questions have discussed to death. Now we can only entertain ourselves with stupid questions.
Say hello to another 80 percenter. So glad not to be in this tool's world. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 7:40:00 PM | My experience is different from most on this thread. Truly good male lovers are not that rare.
How rare is that one lover that is just like no other?
None are like the others. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 9:27:30 PM | Incredibly, incredibly, incredibly rare.
A man of many moods and sexual personality type that would run the gammet in the bedroom ranging from raw to sweet loving, that has a sense of smooth rhythm whether fast or slow, that is a sensualist in all it's glory, that is able to read women instinctively -- is a rare thing indeed. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:50:06 PM | I've only had two! They were amazing. I wish all guys had that talent. Course they were great lovers, but lousy boyfriends.
At this point, while I'd love to encounter another great lover, I'd rather not deal with the drama of finding out they're cheating on me! | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/1/2009 11:16:25 PM | It's really more about how compatible two people are. If one is happy with (example) vanilla sex and runs into another that is the same, wouldn't that be their incredible lover instead of someone that had desire for many different types of sensuality?
Possibly in another viewpoint for the question - - How often have you found a lover that is extremely compatible with all your desires, equal or close to your sexual personality? | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:48:49 AM | | rare. and even rarer is the "whole package". have to be motivated to keep on chugging. all you can do is be the best "you" and bring out the best in your man or your woman. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 9:30:45 AM | YES YES I read a post, and someone was saying that guys think they are when they're not. So true when a woman loves you she will tell you you are the man. She will even tell her friends that because she wants them to think you have a perfect relationship. The best way to know the truth is over time. 1 year down the road if she is still hott for you then you probably have been satisfying her, but if you haven't been satisfying your woman she wont want to get freaky on a lunch break, or pull over to the side of the road in some random neighborhood. You can also tell if she frequently requests certain things, gets mad if you don't get her off, if you finish and she says "well can you just do that thing you do, because I didn't get off", or "you owe me mister because you didn't get me off last time".
Now I DO blame women for some of this. Women need to stop faking it. I am fortunate enough to have had women tell me I am terrible in bed,(can't win them all) and because of their honesty I took the initiative to get better. Most importantly I appreciated it. I appreciate when I fail because it makes me want to get better, and I think most guys do too.
Women don't you want a guy that wants to satisfy you? Tell him what he's doing wrong, and if he can't take it move on because he definitely has character flaws. So don't fake orgasms . | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 9:54:57 AM |
The best way to know the truth is over time. 1 year down the road if she is still hott for you then you probably have been satisfying her
By that standard, I must be fvcking awesome 'cause she's still hot me after 9 years! Daily.  | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 1:40:35 PM | | Really I think this is a great conversation. There are so many unhappy wives/husbands that could be completely satisfied with there relationship if only their partner would give a shit. Why is there websites like ashley madison where married women cheat on their husbands. We can't blame it all on not being emotionally satisfied. Thats a joke, and if you believe that the jokes on you. To respond negatively to this thread shows your ignorance, and further exposes you for what you are close minded and un-willing to accept any flaws. Furthermore I think to actually make an effort to be good in bed should be applauded. It means that you care enough about your partner to want to satisfy them, which is very rewarding. Seriously if this message offends you, you are a prude and probably unsatisfied/satisfying person. Your a joke you probably think you are great at everything, and you're probably just average at a couple things. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 1:43:11 PM | | Thats what I mean, if she wont make love to you your either a not satisfying her emotionally, or b not satisfying her in bed, and if you satisfy her in bed she will often look past A. Ladies don't be offended it's true you know it. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 2:32:03 PM | Well, I for one am a great lover. I am very rare in the sence that I am gods gift to love making. Although no woman has ever known this, my left hand is usualy left tierd and completely satisfied. You can even ask. Left hand has its own profile on here. It's always bragging about it which is a little anoying.
GOD I NEED A GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!! | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/2/2009 4:11:28 PM | | It takes two to tango in or out of bed. My experience has been that woman usually are too shy or whatever to give directions (GPS won't work here) as to what they really want. Some men at recognize that everyone is different and as they say different strokes for different folks. I have found that if a woman is open and honest she will generally get more enjoyment. A lot of people seem to have forgotten that sex is a fun experience as well as being very healthy. I don't knoe how rare guys are but I do kbnow that woman who are good lovers can be quite rare. It all comes down to communication......but then so does life..... | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:36:57 AM | I would say Very rare. Especially the entire packege (no pun intended. LOL) At least in my experience.
I have had good lovers, dissapointing lovers, one's where the sex was good but the attraction was not that saticfying, and one's where the attraction was very strong on both sides but it didn't work out for more than one reason.
A really good lover is when both are equally passionate for on another, both want to please and enjoy the other completely, want to be togather as often as possible and find that when apart can't wait for the next time together.
I guess what I'm saying is a really good lover is one with whom I have the whole experience and attractio. Without that , a "skillful lover" may still not be in the catagory of a really good lover for me.
Namaste,
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:39:19 AM | I have never found that truely ''rare'' gem but sex isn't everything. There is no such thing as a rare lover anyway, because if there was, it fades off so fast you won't know what you have missed. I don't try to dwell on looking for the perfect gent, because no one is perfect, not even in bed. I care most about pleasing the guy, and if we both are happy, then so be it. I care less how many people this person sleeps with, it don't make him a really good lover. A true really good lover would be the man to want to be with you and ONLY YOU! Not this 100 a person a year type of thing... It's not all based o sex either again... He/she must understand you , respect you, love you, cherish you and all that jazz! Where do you find this? LOL..Damn it I'm dreaming again  | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:00:44 PM | In my experience, extremely rare
Two in my life, just two, that were unbelievably good lovers. That got me thinking as to the why.. why? what made them different?
First I'd have to say that there was the "chemistry"... not just attractedness, but that, even when you are angry with them they still turn you on" sort of thing. I truly believe it's chemical (pheremones?), because there is no other excuse for it. The first one I despised at the end of out LTR, but I still thought he was incredibly hot. Nope, no actual sanity there - just animal attraction. I haven't seen him in 17 years, and I'd put money on it that if we bumped into each other tomorrow that we would still be sexually attracted to each other.
The second, the same sort of chemistry - so yes, I believe it takes two.
THEY TOOK THEIR TIME.. there was no rush, no expectation - the bedroom (or wherever) became a place to play, to explore, to relax and enjoy
They treated my entire body like they treated the "erogenous zones". wow
They both had staying power, meaning that one time, or 5 minutes wasn't enough, to even start... 95% of the time (hey a quickie has it's place) They truly enjoyed sex, and not just for the orgasm, or end result. Some nights were mornings by the time we were done. Flirting and other innuendo play & verbal foreplay was entwined in daily life.. the heat was always on, even at a simmer.
They both enjoyed oral sex, really loved it - not just to make me feel a certain way, but because they loved it... like a cherished hobby or passionate interest! lol
They had no shame, sexually - they accepted all of their sexuality as normal, for them, whether "mainstream" or not. Self-acceptance is a powerful thing. Yet they respected mine too, as well as my limits.
They had, and had cultivated skill... and took pride in it. They enjoyed their knowledge of female sexuality AND knew that each woman is different and were happy to explore and find out how I was different.. and this is the clincher, they got as much pleasure from my pleasure as they did their own... if not more. They both 'got' that intercourse was just one of the many sexual and sex-related activities that can be very pleasing and weren't hung up on it as the end all and be all.
They had the courage to confide their deepest fantasies, yet in a way that I didn't feel pressured by them.
In those cases, it was a dance.. everything flowed, everything was accepted and there was TRUST. Without trust, great sex is nearly impossible.
They never asked the question, "was I good", "did you get off" (if I did and you didn't notice, ummm... you weren't paying attention, or maybe you weren't there) or anything along those lines... ego seeking questions I guess.
I can't say for sure how I contributed to these experiences other than I try to be as genuine and honest and open as possible - you'd have to ask them, but as I said above - I believe it takes two. I'm sure that one woman's fab lover, no matter how skilled, could be a dud for me.
That's what I have come up with...
Rare
And I'm still wondering if this kind of sex comes with a great relationship too.. I've heard rumours but...
:) | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/4/2009 6:37:12 AM |
THEY TOOK THEIR TIME.. there was no rush, no expectation - the bedroom (or wherever) became a place to play, to explore, to relax and enjoy
They treated my entire body like they treated the "erogenous zones". wow
Nicely said as they say we have 2 or 3 great love affairs in a life time and I hoping 3's a charm.
And I'm still wondering if this kind of sex comes with a great relationship too.. I've heard rumors but...
Since this is a sex question to also want to have a relationship too,
now that I would say very rare ,when you base sex as your only bonding agent.
Sex and compatibility is very beautiful, and when put at a higher degree when both are intertwined.
imo,affairs of the heart can take you there,yet if your not really compatible with each other ,the ride down might be a bit rocky. such is love. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:21:09 AM |
They treated my entire body like they treated the "erogenous zones". wow
Exactly! And this is what most women fail to do with men as well. Your entire post could be applied to either gender. I also have come to believe that this can't be learned. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/4/2009 11:55:24 AM | Only one woman I've ever slept with has put me on lock the way she did. That was the best love-making of my life, hands down. Which I know isn't saying much, considering my age, and how straight-laced I am about matters of sex. Since then, though, I've been looking for that mind-blowing feeling again to no avail. Makes me want to move to Michigan with her just to experience that again. Ecstacy didn't have a meaning for me until me and her happened.
Had me going; | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/4/2009 2:00:30 PM |
They tell you that you are the best, the only man that ever made them orgasm, the biggest, blah blah blah...I don't know why we do it, probably because it makes you happy, and we all want to make you happy. Just for the same reason we fake orgasms from time to time.
Good God! Speak for yourself!
I've only said that to the first man that made me orgasm because it was true!
Since when does lying and falsely feeding someone's ego obtain the desired results or make them happy?
If a man has put in a poor showing then I will give him a chance at a do-over but I'm not going to stroke his ego and say "that's OK baby...that 30 seconds was the best I've ever had!"
It would be more like "next time you can warm up on your own time". ;)
The other two big components are quite simply the attraction between two people and comfort...If you aren't completely enthralled and comfortable with your lover at that moment, the sex simply won't be great...
I have to agree. Connection is key and without those things it wont work at all for me. It also helps if you are highly intuitive and enthusiastic. When you are making love you are blending your body, mind and soul together so why do someone you're not completely into? It's a waste of time and energy in my opinion.
I think that if you want to be a good lover you have to communicate your likes and dislikes and be honest or you wont get what you want. And if only one person is happy then that wouldn't make me happy. Everyone is different and what worked before may not work with your new partner but if you are willing to work together on it to fine-tune things then I think everyone can be a really good lover.
I know my guy was amazing in bed. So much so that every time I thought of breaking up with him I would say, ok, after one more round to remember him by.
LOL! Been there, tried that!
But then he made the mistake of opening his mouth and reminding me why I had to break up with him.
If I'm not into the guy then I'm not into the sex. :(
Most women say twenty percent of the men they have been with actually got them off, however a woman doesn't have to get off for the sex to be good.
Again, speak for yourself!
I will always enjoy the journey but I wont be pleased if my lover reaches the destination without me or leaves me stranded at the airport. Masturbation is a one person journey. Sex should be mutually satisfying.
The thing is if you caaaan get them off, and you're not an ass hole, you pretty much have a woman that will love you and be faithful for life.
My faithfulness is based on my character not the ability of my man to make me orgasm.
I know I can get myself off so it isn't that hard for a man to do it for me.
It's just a matter of timing. Not if but when.
Can I ask a similar question? "How rare is the fastest man on earth?"
Not very in my experience! 
My experience has been that woman usually are too shy or whatever to give directions (GPS won't work here) as to what they really want.
I am actually very shy myself and until recently wouldn't even say the word c*ck if my mouth was full of it but I have found you don't need to actually say a word to indicate responsiveness. It's all body language.
If you are just going to lie there and not give any feedback then you get what you deserve.  | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/4/2009 2:12:28 PM | I think what makes a Good Lover is the connection you have with that person. If there is not a connection sex will be good but sex wont be EXTREMELY Good. Its how two people actually feel for each other its not about what chick your gonna bang next that's good sex but its not The Best sex you can actually have if you have that connection with someone.
I think Finding someone with that connection is like finding a needle in a haystack. They are hard to find but when you do find it. The love you two share will be mind blowing. And when your together and sharing that special love, you don't think of it as sex you think of it as becoming one with your partner and feeling all the energy and their feelings for you throughout your body.. | |
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| How rare are really good Lovers?
Posted: 7/4/2009 4:53:10 PM | | well all i can say is i have had a few lovers and i swear it is tru - never wud have believed it if i hadnt had it myself - but i can tell u good lovers are rare - and the reason for this is because - simple - a good lover is a good love - its someone u love i know it is the old book being thrown but it really is true - just want to give hope out there - it can be found and by god i have found it - any cynical and negative people should just think about what i said - keep their negative thoughts to themselves and stop putting other people off because of their own sad miserable experiences/bad choices - love and peace to all those seeking IT - i hope u find IT - much love from the UK xxxxxx | |
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