| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/8/2009 6:25:22 PM | | it you have "tons" of virtual friends, you must spend a lot of time on line when you could be out in the real world establishing relationships with people who know the REAL you. | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/8/2009 9:40:38 PM | this has been an entertaining thread for me. a lot of good responses. my $.o2...
my simple rule...cast a wide net. it took a lot of casting, but i found my current "best"friend right here on fish. she was NOT someone who i looked at the picture/profile and said "she's for me!" but i saw just enough to think that we might be able to have a decent time bowling, or whatever. and we are having the time of our lives...enjoying doing any and everything together. our considerable differences, which at one time would have lead me to pass her by, have given us an excellent source of conversation starters and added interest to our relationship. | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/8/2009 10:02:15 PM | Hmmm and I go thru cycles of friends. Almost like a revolving door in a retail store. Some people come into my life for a short time, and we're good friends then life and it events seperate us. Others come and go often but they are always welcome. Some stay for long periods of time and no matter what you can count on them to be there. Some I have chased out of my life, others I have been glad to see them go. Thats the way life is. I am just thankful that there is always the chance to make more friends or rediscover the ones I have. As for close friends, virtual friends, or aquaintances, just be glad you have people who want to be involved in your life. You are only truly alone when you can't find a single connection anywhere.
Good luck OP, keep your chin up, and don't worry about the numbers-worry about the quality. | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/9/2009 4:56:31 AM |
I am 32 and am down to just one close friend. It seems every year, since I was 25, I lose one close friend. Some get married but most just drift apart. Is this normal to have so few friends after age 30?
count yourself lucky, "friends" eventual just fukk you over. | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/9/2009 2:10:34 PM |
but I sense that many girls tell I have few friends and think I am a loner
32 - 25 = 7 + 1 = 8.
If you had that many friends at one time you're not a loner. You're just not one of those friend-slut people who finds new friends every week. I'd say you're in the low-normal range (unless your one friend is your cat of course). | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/10/2009 9:57:59 PM | | You should never more real friends than you can count on one hand. Unless you've ever been down and out, you'll find out PDQ who your real friends are. | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/11/2009 9:43:55 AM | Well, I felt the slow decline in friends, from marriage (it's a busy life!), moving away, and some drifting apart.
Facebook is actually a great tool for bringing people together again. I found high school and college friends there that I had not contacted in awhile. Just this past Christmas, I went to visit a good friend of mine (one of the married ones), which would not have happened if she had not known about me and what my plans were. I tell you that was a great meeting, to see what all my friends from long ago are now up to. Not only that, but I was careful about the friends I made, so it was more supportive than anything.
I think we become more valuable to our mates when we maintain friendships, so I hope this gives ideas to fellow POF members! | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/11/2009 10:47:28 AM | Its not highschool, no one cares how many friends you do or don't have.
If your happy with one good friend then be happy you have them...If your not make new ones.
not that complicated. | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/11/2009 12:16:07 PM | | Do you need more then one close friend? I am in my 40's and my close friends have changed over the years. The close friends I had in my 30's are not necessarily the close friends that I have now. I can count the number of "CLOSE" friends that I have on one hand and it is less then 5. I have several people I consider friends, several aquaintences and lots of on-line friends I chat with but the people I trust the most are few! We are not in high school anymore. Your popularity isn't determined by how many friends you have. Friendships change over time due to life circumstances. It is ok only to have a few close friends. You may make some new one's in time but don't determine your self worth based on the number of friends you have. | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/11/2009 12:28:47 PM | To an extent, it's probably pretty normal to "lose" friends in the way you describe, especially if your friends got married, had kids, etc. and you didn't, or even if they just follow a different life path than they used to and that path is different from yours. I found the same dilemma you're going through happened with me too. I find now I seem to fit in better with a younger crowd than my own age now, or with empty nesters.
I don't seem to have much in common with families, at least from a mutual interests standpoint.
Probably what may help you would be to identify your interests and go out and pursue them, there you will find like-minded people as yourself. Best of luck to you!! | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/11/2009 6:24:21 PM | Why is that a problem if you dont have a crew to hang with? It's not high school..
Nothing wrong with being a loner.. less stress and aggravations than dealing with the problems/burdens and demands of maintaining friendships..
I am a unapologetic loner ...and could care less about opinions about that other than my own.. It works for me..My best female friend in fact is online.. She lives in Canada and we are as close as any of my offline friends..
Live for yourself and what makes you happy.. No need to conform to an image of what you perceive others expect you to be | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/11/2009 6:36:55 PM | i sooooo know what you are talking about! but different scenarios that alot of mine dies in car accidents over the years and the rest has got married and moved away. it really kinda sux when youre the last one who isnt married, But i got this very funny feeling that by the time i get married ... most of my friends will be getting divorced and want to hang out and go to the bars...
plus with the millions of creepos on internet, its getting alot harder to get women on here to have a conversation via emails!! i did make some very good friends from here and other sites though. And as like the other person said... how do they count to you.... to me a friend is a friend no matter where or how you communicate with each other. | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/14/2009 1:52:23 PM | I am trying online dating, but I sense that many girls tell I have few friends and think I am a loner.
Well, of course. You told everyone you can count your friends on one finger. | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/15/2009 1:42:24 AM | I hate to be the one to dumb my two cents in here, but maybe somewhere this will make sense and help. The majority of everyone's post talked about how they had friends who got married or moved away, or drifted away, but I really didn't see a lot of ownership on our own parts as a reason for these dynamics as having changed.
Moreover, what have each of us done to try and rectify some of these losses. I mean are we just willing to sit back now and say, "Yeah, so and so was my friend, he got married, then moved, and I never heard from him again?" Well did anybody ever give thought that maybe they're thinking the same thing?
Look, I'm 40, and I can count on 3 fingers how many good friends I have, and I only know where 1 of those 3 are. But, I also know that if I were to find either of the other two tomorrow, pick up the phone and call them, it would be just like I had talked to them yesterday; and it's been 16 years since I've talked with two of them. I met all of these guys while I was in the Army, and maybe that's the good thing about the Army. They make you mesh and get to know each other. They send you to places where you don't trust anyone besides the guy next to you, who you might not have known until he just sat down and said hello.
I used to be able to say that I could count all of my friends on two hands. That's not the case anymore. Yes, my friends have moved away, have been sent overseas, or placed in classified jobs where they don't really exist on paper, but those aren't the ones I'm talking about. I'm talking about my friends that at age 29 committed suicide, or at age 36 died of testicular cancer, and the only person that knew he had it was his wife. So none of us got to say goodbye. Or the soldier that I treated like a little sister who came back physically, but mentally and emotionally she is still Afghanistan, inside of a burning helicopter with 7 dead soldiers.
These are the types of friends you can't bring back folks. These are the kinds that haunt you everyday. If you miss someone, for Christ sake, get on the internet, pay $4.95 and get their current address and phone number. Don't wait til it's too late, because believe me, when it is, you'll have all the time in the world to kick yourself in the ass for not having done it. | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/15/2009 2:50:17 AM | | Mate my dad used to tell me if you go through life with two people you can trust and stick with you as your friend then your a lucky person | |
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| I can count my friends on one finger!
Posted: 4/15/2009 6:43:04 AM | i dont think its unusual at all.. i have a lot of virtual freinds with whom i chat almost daily, but not one REAL friend left in the REAL world..
i had one close friend who wasnt married and have drifted off from teenage yrs, until i got fed up of always doing the running, it was always me that called and went to her, made the effort to treck on buses and trains to her town, when she had a car and only came to my town twice in over 4 yrs,
and so i thought i would stop calling and just see how long it would be before she contacted me, that was almost 16 months ago now and in that time ive had one email, that was a joke-that was sent to dozens of others at same time- and one that just said "are you ok..?" and thats it.... | |
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