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Dru
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 401 | |
| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 5/29/2006 12:17:27 PM | Wow this thread is still going is it?
I've been on both sides of the fence, I am looking at this from more than 2 points of view. Whatever size you are comfortable with is good for you. Just don't blame other people for your problems. You know exactly what I'm talking about, "Guy's don't give us a chance because were big", well you need to work to get what you want. You had to work to get that donut from the coffee shop didn't you? Well if you want a guy, work at it, make yourself more appealing. If I don't know you, and I see you out somewhere, am I going to go up to you and strike up a converstation? No i'm not. Why? Because you have not caught my attention or interest. You could have the greatest personality in the world, but how am I to know that? So you either need to be outgoing towards me, or make yourself more appealing.
If your a co-worker, or a buddy and I already know your personality, then it comes down to whether I am attracted to you or not. Why would I enter into a relationship with someone I'm not attracted to? Thats just a recipe for disaster. Attraction can be based soley on looks, or it can be based on a combination of personality and looks, but never on personality alone as far as I have experienced. I have have some great friends that I care about a lot, but don't have the want to spend the rest of my life with them because there is no attraction on my part.
So what would you ladies have me do? Be un-happy the rest of my life because I can make you happy.
And if I did find myself attracted to a bigger girl, there's a whole other can of worms to work through. A lot (not all) of bigger ladies are starved for attention, when a guy shows even the tiniest bit of interest in them, there planning the wedding while i'm still figuring out where to go for our first date. | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 5/31/2006 12:04:20 AM | That last paragraph is a huge generalization on your part dru, whether you use alot or all. I'm a bigger girl and I don't fantasize about my wedding and I am not clingy and needing attention 24/7. It's pretty sad that you feel the need to put people in that category without knowing more about them. I'm a damn great girlfriend when I am with someone, whether I am big or small.
We get the point- you don't like bigger girls. This topic needs to be closed!! | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 5/31/2006 11:45:24 AM | What's wrong with dating and sleeping with the Big Girls?
I agree with Saramria...I think this thread is starting to get redundant.
Some clowns like to have sex with a big gal but do not want to be seen dating one.
That is soooo childish. If those guys do not like to be seen with them, leave them well enough alone. Let some other happy camper have at the big women.
Hugs and kisses to the my life sized teddy bears!  | |
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poohba
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Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 404 | |
| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 6/7/2006 8:50:03 PM | I've just been reading these messages and most of ya'll have great comments! I've always been a big gal but at this present time, lost over 115# and i'm proud of that fact! If ya want to call me a fatty, please do! I get comments from males and females telling me how beautiful and wonderful I look  This idea that bigger women have no feelings or obsessed feelings is a bunch of CRAP! I've been dealing with MEN who are obsessed/possessive towards me. This is not a good feeling..believe me! People around me know who I am and what I am! I'm not selfish nor judgmental. It's all in the personality..the most beautiful woman in the world could and probably does have anger in her heart. A woman could be surrounded by many but feel lonely. Everybody gets lonely..and anybody says they don't well you're fibbing!! Till i'm proven wrong, no matter what size a person is, everybody deserves a chance at happiness! I always see *larger* mens ads where they want petite women, nothing above the weight of say 105! I just chuckle at those ads and think boy you're askin for a hell of a lot when you're a big man! I just laugh at ads where they are right down to the specfics..5'2..105#..blonde hair..blue eyes..COME ONE DUDES YA NEED A REALITY CHECK~~HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO  Guess I said enough..Take Care Everyone..no matter what size you are!!  | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 6/8/2006 8:07:16 PM | | michaelinlex.... men like you are so shallow and you are just wanting to pick a fight with someone on here. If you don't like bigger women then so be it but do not group them all together and say they are pathetic sluts and sleep with any man who will have them because I do not think there is one woman on this thread who is like that. YOU are a jerk but I'm sure you know that and just wanted us all to know it... ok we know it now.. so bye bye... | |
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blaira
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Joined: 3/25/2006
Msg: 406 | |
| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 6/9/2006 8:42:31 AM | | Wow I cant believe people are still talking about this... and still being really rude about it... people if you have something really mean to say keep it to yourself... I cant stand people who sit there a judge and blow around words that hurt other people... Men with the rude comments stop being a***s and maybe just for once having something nice to say... or don’t say anything at all alright... and hey if you aren’t attracted to BBW then just say that... but don’t sit there and say ohh BBW are too clingy and want to marry anyone who gives them attention * how fricken rude *... to all you men who are being rude to the women on here shame on you and stop being jerks!! | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 6/13/2006 10:18:35 PM | Well I've got the solution for all your confidence issues.
Its called Hoodia. Try it (google if you dont understand).
enjoy the thin life! You can only live hot once. | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 6/17/2006 11:21:47 AM | Wow, I've just been reading this thread and boy did that ever get out of hand really fast.
From a personal standpoint, I don't know if it's the size of a lady that's unattractive. I think you find the same traits among all different sized people. Attitude is usually the big one. I can appreciate how difficult things can be if people/society is always cutting you down because of a physical attribute. Physically though, I must say that if you've got a pretty face and a killer smile size doesn't matter to me. I guess I'm a sucker for a cute smile. | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 6/17/2006 11:34:58 AM | Who gives a rat's @ss what the shallow people say.
He who discriminates, masturbates.......muhahahahahahahaha....bwahahaha.
If I meet up with a TALL hour glass shaped BBW with wide hips and BIG BOOTIE,
I hope she drags me to her lair where we go at it like two deparaved sex starved animals.
Being greedy, I do not believe in one nights stands...I'd have to drag her out to the movies
or to the fairs or to just hang out with me as a price of having met me.
Myabe she will be my f.uck buddy, maybe freinds with benefits, maybe some one who can simply be my best freind and companion and will accompany me on a road trip, or go fishing,
or chill at a party.
One thing I can not stand is a high maintence vain person who is a time waster. | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 6/27/2006 12:29:14 PM | LOL I am not having either problem, No dates, No sex, I guess mine is the rough exterior, or maybe the fear of actually likeing the persona nd getting dumped on again and again, so right now no problem, later maybe problem after problem, will let you know on a womans view when that comes about
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 7/10/2006 6:08:33 AM | If you consider what "Friends with Benefits" is about, the focus seems to be willingness to participate more than anything else. I'd imagine there has to be attraction to some degree, but best I can tell it's about the activity moreso than the person. A "friends with benefits" relationship really is a one night stand that doesn't have an obvious termination date.
I don't think it would be fair to generalize that bigger women are more willing than thin women though. What I think it has more to do with is insecurities in general. We all have them to varying degrees, and they cover a broad range of subjects too. I think the more insecure we are in any aspect, the more likely we're willing to "settle" for something that's not really what we are looking for. This is mostly subconscience too. The "settling" thing is my actual point, my other comments simply lead up to it.
About heavier women specifically... keep in mind the pressure we had growing up - and still do today.
Buy this makeup and men will find you attractive.
Buy this car and women will want you.
But this suit and you'll close more business.
Buy this ab-o-matic-thigh-a-mizer-breast-a-fuser and men will find you more attractive.
Buy these sneakers and play sports better.
I have three pairs of very expensive sneakers and I still can't play basketball. :(
Remember for the most part, humans are a herd species. As a general rule, we like to follow the crowd. We like to be desired. We like to be popular. This is proven across the population as a whole by the effectiveness of advertizing across the last 100 years. | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 7/12/2006 3:32:08 AM | ^^^^^^
If you read my post you will know what kind of woman I am attracted to.
Tall and very hour glass shaped: an amazon with a ghetto bootie (a Jennifer Lopez @ss).
Every time I hug the gal, I need to a place to but my hands on and caress (or to squeeze the Charmin). | |
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Dru
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 414 | |
| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:25:39 AM | I love how bigger girls assume that becuase you're not into BBW's you're automatically into the barbie doll types with the big boobs tiny waist. Do BBW's only have extreme views one way or the other? No middle ground? There's a range of physical attributes that people are attracted to, and if you're outside that range, it's not my problem and I won't let it be.
It comes down to attraction pure and simple. If I'm attracted to the girl, then lets go and see what you're like. If I'm not then we're going to be friends at the most.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that attitude. If there was, then why aren't you BBW's dating guys you're not attacted to? | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:09:54 AM | Dru - I think what certain people are commenting on is the fact that you're making exclusionary statements without getting to know them as individuals. I have two fairly heavy set female friends who genuinely believe that appearance matters little, and personality and empathy matters most. And they are wrong, only because we all know that physical attraction is important.
The key is to realize that some people have a very wide range of physical characteristics they find attractive, and other people have a very narrow range. You obviously have a more narrow range than I do. Ultimately, that doesn't matter either. It simply "is". If you're not attracted to "X" factor in "Y" category, don't date in that combination. While it might be an amusing adventure to analyize and discuss it, ultimately it's a moot discussion because it's unlikely to change anyone's mind on something so internal and subconscience as "attraction".
I call this "Template Dating". Each of us have buried deep in our subsconscience a template of our ideal mate. This template includes physical charactoristics, emotional aspects, intellect, hobbies, interests, and many other things. For some, this template is rigid, for others it's essentially just a vague "hint". Each of those things that make up our template have "weights" assigned to them, and for some people, parts of the template can be ignored and discounted if everything else fits reasonably well. Again this depends on how rigid this template is, in our subconscience.
Most people as they age allows their template to change and morph over time, and become more lax. Some people on the other hand have a rigid, specifically defined template from birth to death. I have a good friend who exclusively dates redheads. No red hair, no interest. And he can't explain it, but it gives me a good opportunity to poke him once in a while since I personally don't think hair color makes the least bit of difference. Obviously my "hair color" part of my template is very lax in definition, as compared to his. I'm using simple examples like hair color to explain the template concept, but it applies to all aspects and characteristics of meeting another person, and what we subconsciencely find "ideal".
Look at all the women who have personal ads that say something along the lines... "fireman/police officer wanted", or "I prefer long-hair biker types". It's the template thing in action.
Anyway, the end result doesn't matter. If you are not into heavier women, don't date heavier women. The discussion about this while amusing to me, certainly is moot because the general categories you are attracted to are obviously well defined. And that's AOK.
Anyway, don't mind me, I find human psychology fascinating. | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:11:57 AM | I hate when I fat-finger the keyboard and lose parts of my post. Anyway, this paragraph:
"Dru - I think what certain people are commenting on is the fact that you're making exclusionary statements without getting to know them as individuals. I have two fairly heavy set female friends who genuinely believe that appearance matters little, and personality and empathy matters most. And they are wrong, only because we all know that physical attraction is important."
Should have the following statement appended to it:
"The question is to what degree - and this varies across the population. The degree in which this matters is neither right or wrong."
Grrrrrrr drat! | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 7/14/2006 6:41:48 AM | | Look, I am an 18 year old male. I'm not going to lie. I have fantasies. And I would like for them to come true. But anyway one of my fantasies is to have a BBW just take me and make me hers. I would love for her to just take control and tease me and please me. Then I will do the same for her! If there are any BBW who might want to give this a try, email me! | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 7/14/2006 7:27:10 AM | I have had the greatest and grandest time with older BBWs.
They had pretty faces and delisciously/voluptuously ripe hour glass figures.
OH MY GOD! I was one very happy camper.
People move out to another place and that is how it goes.
So now I have to meet and make new freinds and see where it goes from there.
About dating AND sleeping with the BBWs (especially the tall amazons)...
AWESOME! | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 7/19/2006 7:39:35 PM | Dru,
Its absolutely wonderful that you are so passionate about getting your point across that you are not "into" or attracted to BBW.
Some, not all BBpeople have the upbeat personality it takes to handle harsh critizism, from either sex male or female, some harbor a hatered, an do blame others for there problems.
But do you have to be attracted to someone to become a friend to a bbw?
People in all walks of life have issues that they either get over or dont.
I like to think that I am an attractive woman and yes I have a weight problem, I work on it daily, my job is a flatbed truckdriver. Probabley still why there is no dates or sex either. | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 8/25/2006 5:35:06 AM | 1ladytrucker -
You're right, not all people have thick enough skin to endure endless comments about a particular aspect of them, while some do.
I personally don't think Dru was trying to beat anyone down and harp on the matter, but instead get his point across. Maybe I'm wrong? I don't know Dru so I probably shouldn't say anything at all I guess.
As far as attraction and friendship, the answer is obviously no, of course not. Otherwise we'd all be dating our friends, right? heh-heh. But there are some people who define everything with little, minute, rigid boxes and will never depart from that mentality, and that's okay, who are we to pass judgement. People are who they are.
I've spent a lot of my life understanding and fixing my own issues, rather than walking through life ignorantly, as understanding our motivations and perspectives is one of the key ingredients to having a happy life. Sometimes even just being aware of a certain knee-jerk response can help - for when it happens a part of your brain can go "oh, duh!" and you can halt that knee-jerk response right then and there, and not impale someone you care about with it.
"You" and "us" in my posts is always the generic "you" "us", meaning you, me, Bob down the street, Mary over there, and so on. Not you specifically, but you as people in general.
And I don't think driving a flatbed truck impacts your dating life... unless of course you work 80 hours a week and spend the rest of your time sleeping to compensate . | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 10/1/2006 1:16:49 AM | | First of all, as a curvy, voluptuous girl myself, I would like to go on record as saying, "I HATE the term chubby chaser." Either you appreciate how a woman looks, or you don't. And please, enough with the melodramtic martyrism in your "limiting" yourself. And let's also not forget to put you in your place about when a woman can or can't put out. Did you ever stop to think that a fat girl just might wanna get laid herself? How arrogant do you have to be to think that the ONLY reason a big girl would sleep with a guy is because she thinks she can't get any better. I have had plenty of men pursuing me, all kinds, shapes, colors, and sizes of men. how LOW are you to go to a big girl for a booty call, KNOWING that her self esteem is low, and USING that to get what you want??? I find that behavior to be absolutely offensive, childish, and reprehensible. Why not go for the drunk whore at the bar? Then at least you could show her off to your friends later. And, If men aren't into BBW's, then why are there so many dating sites dedicated to the BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN? And another thing, about you taking us out in public, we're not a freaking side show attraction at the fair!!! How dare you. You can take your so called "carnal" needs, and supply them for yourself. | |
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Emon3y
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Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 423 | |
| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 10/1/2006 7:31:35 AM | | i like this thread...so many people hav e good things to say about big women...and theres alot of guys out there that love their women bigger...some dont admit it...some do...some date them...some dont....i'm pretty sure skinny girls get the booty call just as often as bigger girls do tho. | |
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| Dating VS sleeping with Bigger ladies
Posted: 10/2/2006 12:39:31 PM | I personally like a skinnier girl. Not trying to offend but I have een with all shapes and sizes and I know what I prefer. I want a woman I can ride my motorycle with and someone who weighs as much as me just is past the load allowable on the bike. Maybe shallow, but just something I want.
I like an active woman who is at home working out, cuddling, going for long rides, and able to express herself not only on the internet but in person to me.
Looks wise I go for a taller woman traditionally because being 6'7" (201cm) tall it is rather silly to date a shorter woman, wlthough i was engaged at age 18 to a 5'1" tall girl.
Anyways want to know more just message me or check my myspace page out for more on me!
http://www.myspace.com/TheEdgeProductions | |
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