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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/12/2009 6:37:17 PM | While this isn't about giving rim-jobs, it is an article that appeared in GQ about Anal Sex on the first date is now NORMAL!
Is Anal Sex the New Deal-Breaker?
Backdoor entry is now so mainstream, some guys request it on the first date. So, what's your take on the once-taboo act? Open up and give us your comments.
With all due respect to Salt-N-Pepa, let's talk about Todd. Todd (not his real name) is a friend of a friend. He's a rare breed—a finance guy who lives in L.A. He's been dating the same ladylike woman for three years. They are the picture of late-twentysomething, Amstel Light—drinking America. The very first time they slept together, they had anal sex. Miss Ladylike had never tried it before. For the next five months, anal was the only kind of sex they had. Supposedly, Todd had intimacy issues, and penetrating Miss Ladylike's rectum was less emotionally intense than venturing into the vagina. Eventually, Todd did the deed with Miss Ladylike in the usual way, and continues to, but they still have a whole lot of anal sex.
So, apparently, do a lot of other people. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimated that in 2002, 38 percent of men ages 18 to 59 had entered a woman's back door. Thirty-five percent of women ages 25 to 44 had invited men in. Ten years before, only 26 percent of men and 20 percent of women reported having had anal sex.
"Anal is the new oral," says syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage. "I used to get letters from women about giving head. Those letters are now dwarfed by letters from women asking how to take it up the butt." Okay. But pronouncements and statistics that indicate the rising popularity of rearguard action don't address some nagging questions—the biggest one being how, presuming they haven't had their own rectums messed with, can so many guys justify asking women to let them take the service elevator?
Phillip, an engineer in Chicago, says he and his friends request a ride in the back seat because it's a harder-to-reach goal than old-fashioned intercourse. "Once a guy has anal sex, he's put on a pedestal by his peers," he says. He claims he hasn't had much trouble getting women to agree to it. "I only had to persuade two girls. [I asked] 'Can I put it in your butt?' At first they were like, 'No, it will hurt.' Then time after time of having sex with them they finally said okay. It hurt them the first time, but after that they always said they enjoyed it—if not a little, then a lot."
For other men, the appeal of anal penetration is less the novelty—and the fact that it gives them a good story to tell over beers—and more the psychology. "For most of my friends, it's sort of a domination thing," says John (not his real name), 30, a writer in New York. "[It's] basically getting someone in a position where they're most vulnerable. My friends enjoy that and they tell their friends they did it. But it's not like girls are ready for it—it's something they do when they're really drunk."
"There's an erotic undercurrent about being in control of a situation," says Edward Ratush, a psychiatrist and sex therapist in New York. "It's a very ego-focused thing for the guy."
Albert (his middle name), a good-looking 29-year-old who's fairly well-known in the music industry, says he asks the women he dates to have anal sex with him because it raises the level of intimacy in the relationship. He doesn't demand anal sex—especially not if it's a one-time hookup—but he won't commit to a woman who refuses to grant him a backstage pass. "I had a girlfriend who I was with for a long time and she wasn't into it," Albert says. "There was definitely a thing in the back of my head like, 'I can't marry her.' How can I, knowing I can't go to all the places I can go with her? The physicality of it, being painful or whatever, shows how comfortable the girl is with you." Here, he pointedly stops short of romanticizing screwing a woman rectally. "Ideally, every girl is a disgusting pig who wants it," he says. "But only with you."
There's evidence that some women do like anal sex, and that they're as into having it as some men. The dating website Lavalife recently polled 20,083 members in its "Intimates" section. Thirty-five percent of female respondents claimed to enjoy anal sex. "It's a myth that every straight man wants it and the women who give it up do just that," says Tristan Taormino, author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women.
Dawn (her middle name), a 34-year-old married woman who lives in Ohio, first tried anal sex at her husband's suggestion, only to discover that she was much more into it than he was. "It's better," she says. She'd like to have it more often, but it's currently off the table. "He's got more hang-ups about it than I do," Dawn says.
After the forbidden territory has been conquered, some men find they have psychological issues with the act. Even Albert, the one who won't tie the knot without a key to the back door, admits that. "You're thinking, 'I don't want to hurt her, and I don't want shit to squirt out at me,'" he says.
So if you can't be certain whether the woman's enjoying herself or just submitting to peer pressure, and the act itself can be unpleasant, what's the motivation for demanding it? For Todd, so his friend says, it was about maintaining emotional distance. Albert says it's about enhancing the intimacy between two people. But the more plausible explanation is that it's about accessibility—and instant gratification. Now that anal sex has been propelled higher on the mainstream menu by a hypersexualized culture and the proliferation of porn (see Ass-Hole O Mio and the Anal Excursions series), some men can't help but order it. And some women feel the need to offer it.
A few years ago, Albert says, he was hosting a party at a New York nightclub. A girl in attendance began hitting on him aggressively, and after the party they headed uptown to her Columbia dorm. "I'll never forget it," he says. "She went down on me immediately, in the kitchen, then came up and said, 'I want you to **** me in the ass.' That's some porno shit that most guys dream about." And when he told his friends about it later, he brought down the house. | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/12/2009 8:44:47 PM | He is directing it to ZenBeth and I'm glad someone finally did...
that's is the third post you made here...so i thought i would take the time to let you know... i did not find any of your comments informative or funny... but just in case you are are wondering why i took the trouble to post....
Are you just talking to yourself or someone else? | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/12/2009 9:41:36 PM | | Well my thoughts are I like doing it very much, just as long as everything is clean and I know she is enjoying it. I also like to be on the receiving end but prefer doing more than receiving. | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/12/2009 10:00:05 PM |
jimmie64 :Dont knock it if you aint tried it 
So if you comment on something you find disgusting we can come back at you with the old 'if you haven't tried it, don't knock it'? Remember ButtGirl2X asked in post#1 asked for peoples thoughts. Makes me wonder what you would say to someone who posted they had never thought have sex with animals could be fun, until some guy had them do his dog. Don't knock it until you try it?
Maybe those of us who work in reproductive health have seen the negative side of some sexual practices. And my simply laughing and seeing the humor in some of the posts was just that. Seeing the humor in some of the posts.
~Beth~ | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 12:26:26 AM |
Why do I think that people who are into this also have dogs that lick their butts and then kiss their owners?
SERIOUSLY! I cant stand that. I wont let my dog lick me just for the fact that I know she licks her butt then I sit here and read about some folks doing that same thing to others??? How foul! Brings a whole new meaning to the term "tastes like sh*t", I guess they'd be the closest to knowing.
I'm no prude and there's not a whole lot of things in this world that I wont try once but this is one of them. That's just nasty. Eat a mint. Ick! | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 2:27:57 AM | I hope not!!
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 5:11:55 AM | I'm no prude and there's not a whole lot of things in this world that I wont try once but this is one of them. That's just nasty. Eat a mint. Ick!
well let me put it this way... would you eat escargot, mussels, oysters.... all these are eaten complete with whatever they have eaten still inside. do you eat organic fruits and vegetables. guess what dear shit is a common fertilizer...and if you want to know what i mean... take a celery stock, with the leaves still on. get a glass.fill it with water and a red food dye. put the celery in the mixture..... in about two days you will let your dog lick your face.
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 5:23:58 AM | Maybe those of us who work in reproductive health have seen the negative side of some sexual practices. And my simply laughing and seeing the humor in some of the posts was just that. Seeing the humor in some of the posts.
and maybe form those so called professionals would be expedited to post informative responses.... not just tasteless reply's.....after all when helping someone.... do we not bring our best plans to the table? | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 8:58:23 AM | What is the matter with people? Did you ever see all the horrible toxins our body pushes out? Geez, I got Giardia just from drinking water. Millions of germs can be released in a bowel movement of an infected human or animal. You can't tell by just looking at someone if they have Giardia or what bacteria could be lurking on their body around that orifice.
There is a huge difference between oral sex and genitals and licking someone's butt hole. Just gross and sick! | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 9:55:01 AM | I hum when I'm performing oral on a woman...both holes. She says the vibration sensation drives her wild. Judging by her reaction, she's not lying, lol.  | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 10:05:46 AM |
I hum when I'm performing oral on a woman...both holes. She says the vibration sensation drives her wild. Judging by her reaction, she's not lying, lol.
I just picture you doing some meditation down there...hummmm...hummmm!
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 10:08:32 AM | I'll take either pleassssssssse. I prefer cunnilingus x 1000 though. I just keep finding men who say they like it but really don't, are too lazy to bother.....or ????? (insert excuse here).
Actually now that I think about it, where did foreplay go?
Going to sit in a corner at work, rock back and forth while I fantasize. | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 2:10:41 PM | | well in my opinion i certainly hope to hell it isnt since i think its very disgusting the very idea of kissing a guy that licks ***hole grosses me out really bad | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 2:55:57 PM | dogslife2live001: well let me put it this way... would you eat escargot, mussels, oysters.... all these are eaten complete with whatever they have eaten still inside. do you eat organic fruits and vegetables. guess what dear shit is a common fertilizer...and if you want to know what i mean... take a celery stock, with the leaves still on. get a glass.fill it with water and a red food dye. put the celery in the mixture..... in about two days you will let your dog lick your face.
monfil :What is the matter with people? Did you ever see all the horrible toxins our body pushes out? Geez, I got Giardia just from drinking water. Millions of germs can be released in a bowel movement of an infected human or animal. You can't tell by just looking at someone if they have Giardia or what bacteria could be lurking on their body around that orifice.
The second quote is a must read!!
Actually there is a reason one washes the organic fruits and vegetables before eating. It's to get the dirt off.
And with snails one places them in a container with cornmeal and water for food and this cleans their system so there is non dangerous stuff in them. Have been doing escargot for decades. Those who eat only kosher avoid these all together.
And as an organic gardener as any educated organic gardener knows on doesn't use any fertilizer that has any animal products in it like meat. And chicken, cow, rabbit manure is from grain fed food for the animal thus the grass that goes in comes out as digested grass. Remember the eColi outbreak here in California where spinach which was being grown organically was contaminated by fresh cow manure that got into the water ponds which provided the water for the crops? Organic grown celery as a rule doesn't use any animal manure but compost that is rich in nutrients from green products like leaves, grass clippings etc. And whatever bird droppings etc in it will have been broken down during the 3-6 month composting.
Whereas human waste as post #2 notes has toxins that many people need to get educated on. Even the best selling Humanure book notes that raw human waste is dangerous. It's the composting of human or animal waste that allows the toxins to break down. But with anal contact one is dealing with fresh waste residual. Consider hepatitis A the virus that is found in the stools (feces) of people with hepatitis A. It is transmitted when a person puts something in his or her mouth that has been contaminated with the feces of an affected person. This is called to as fecal-oral transmission. This is why day care centers are required to wear disposable gloves when changing a babies diapers.
Heck when we camp or backpack into any area we take our REI hand pump water filter to remove Giardia and water born parasites. Same with when we are in other countries. We only drink safe bottled water. Sorry if I sound like a party pooper (pun intended) but deal with people who have health problems because of fecal issues and you may change your thinking.
~Beth~ | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 4:02:13 PM | Personally, I'd be too worried about flossing with a tapeworm....
Ask yourself this, even after flushing the toilet, would you drink from it? | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 5:16:15 PM | My thoughs are: hell no! I am not into ass anything! LOL Mind you, I love firm, round, butts on men not only for the aesthetics but mainly because I imagine said gorgeous butt pumping away on top of me and/or to give him a spank or two!
However, I do not and would not lick ass or penetrate ass with my finger (well, I would consider the finger bit if my hubby absolutely wanted it but then only if I had a condom on my finger). | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 5:55:23 PM | I like how these types of threads are hit and miss. It seems like every other one will be filled with people ranting and raving about how great anything anal is, and the ones in between are filled with people ranting and raving about how disgusting they find it to be.
I just look at it like this. If it's not your thing, cool. No problem. But the people who pretend to be experts who go around demonizing it because of what they've read about or "seen at their job" look like fools to me. Reading up on something doesn't trump personal experience. You can be as well read as you want to be, but without personal experience, you're just regurgitating theory. Which is fine unless you're debating with someone with extensive personal experience. In which case, you lose out by default.
It's like arguing about the great depression with somebody who lived through it. Doesn't matter how much you've read, they were there. They have a better idea of what it was like than you do. | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 6:10:40 PM | | ^^^^^No really dude, I had Giardia. I don't need to have any other illness caused by fecal matter. I don't need to lick someone's bung hole to test to see if I get it again. I really think once was plenty for me. Again, I know exactly what it is like to have it and not know what is the matter. I know exactly what pain is. I know exactly what I don't need to ever have again! No arm charm coaching here. Fact is YOU HAVE BACTERIA! Ingestion of bacteria and other germs can not only harm you, but can KILL YOU! No demonizing, just the facts! No mouthwash in the world can undo the harm that can be done by the ingestion of germs. Once they start, unless you get proper diagnosis and treatment, you can and will get sick. So guess what dude, I think anyone that licks a butt hole or eats crap is SICK. | |
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| Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus?
Posted: 4/13/2009 6:16:39 PM | If you've ever eaten at a buffet, you've had someone else's excrement. Not everyone washes their hands after they use the bathroom.
Just saying... | |
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