| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/12/2009 7:50:05 PM |
Annie~Oakley: I watch these bridezilla type reality shows on tv from time to time and the amount of money people waste on "princess parties" is shocking. Most people are not even spending the money they have on these extravagant spectacles. They are going deep into debt so someone can play princess for a day. Precisely. A big part of the problem is that a good share of people actually believe that "reality shows" are a realistic portrayal of "reality." They're not.
A few years ago, the last of my friends who borrowed a small fortune to finance their wedding-of-weddings finally got divorced. The funniest part? With every one of them, the loan outlived the marriage. So they spent virtually their entire married lives without a pot nor a window, and still get to pay for that one fateful day many years after the divorce. This, on top of the divorce lawyers' bills, child support, and ..., and ..., ...
I'm glad my "wedding" cost all of $50 at the courthouse. Never mind that it took $Thousands to undo that transaction. It's true, marriage is the leading cause of divorce. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/12/2009 7:51:45 PM | If I were left totally to my own devices, I'd have a small dinner with the people we're closest to... but I recognize that a lot of girls grow up with "princess day" in mind. Still, I have a hard time dropping what could go towards a house, or even the price of a luxury car, on one day of fun.
It also doesn't hurt that I don't tend to like large gatherings. | |
|
| |
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/12/2009 7:54:53 PM | It is all relative. That may be a drop in the bucket for some people. I don't understand how the woman is the total bad guy in this. If that is what they want, good for them.
It is good for the economy. Spend that money. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/12/2009 7:58:56 PM | Well, I don't believe in the institution of marriage to begin with, let alone the wedding ceremony, so spending that kind of money sounds crazy to me.
And even if one believes in marriage or at least the premise of what it stands for, how is a wedding day related in any way, shape or form to the idea of what a marriage is???
It may sound mean but both my daughters (and now my granddaughter) were made aware early that my ex and I would help them in every way we could with their education, but they'd have to finance their own wedding day.
I'm more than happy to help them with their marriage/relationship if they need my help (ie: babysitting, loan, etc.) but I'm by no means oblige to finance or help them throw away good money even if it's their own.
Take that money and take a trip instead, or pay off debts/school loans, or put it towards a down payment on a house...or invest it/add to it and put an even bigger down in a few years, or leave it as a nest egg in case of emergency.
Even buying some quality skiing or camping equipment or whatever you're both into is a far better investment into the making of a good marriage and will provide you with many years of enjoyment.
All those things will go a lot further in making the marriage/relationship secure than having a big fancy wedding day in my opinion.
JMO
| |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/12/2009 8:20:10 PM |
It may sound mean but both my daughters (and now my granddaughter) were made aware early that my ex and I would help them in every way we could with their education, but they'd have to finance their own wedding day.
No not mean at all, just realistic. (Just don't tell anyone at work I said this...lol)
I have 2 daughters and they know I will help them finance a wedding, can't help myself, it's what I do. The joy of it is that being in the industry I know how to make the deals. My own wedding (it was 18 years ago) cost under $9000. That includes the honeymoon. Had I not known the industry so well it would have cost double that. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/12/2009 8:25:35 PM | I plan on taking any money I would have spent on a wedding/divorce subsequently and either bank it or invest in it something more practical.
Being a DJ for hundreds of weddings, and quite a few of them dog and pony shows, it baffles me how much money someone can spend on one day. I don't care how important it is - I'd rather hit city hall with a couple close friends (if I had a gun to my head and had to tie the knot, anyway)and spend the rest on real estate, savings and the honeymoon trip.
MANY MANY couples don't last because of the financial hole they dig on their wedding day (or the wedding putting them into worse debt than they originally had). It's just plain not worth it. | |
|
| |
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/12/2009 8:43:57 PM |
3 words... stupid, stupid, stupid.... Shit, thats a downpayment on a house...
What he said. I once heard Dr. Laura tell someone who was stressing out about wedding costs and wondering about life/ housing afterwards. She told her that she was stressing over a PARTY. I'm not a fan of her's but it made a lot of sense. I've known people who have spent lavishly on their wedding and couldn't remember it afterwards.   | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/12/2009 9:30:38 PM | I agree. For what most spend on a wedding, they can put a down payment on a house, buy a nice car, etc. They spend all kinds of money on a dress they will wear one night.
I got married in a courthouse, wouldn't have it any other way. I hate crowds, anyway. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/12/2009 9:40:32 PM |
I don't see the point in judging how other people legally spend their money.
Cereal lover
I love your whole reply!
Who cares what others do with their own money? Busybodies with nothing else to do but carp. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/12/2009 10:43:02 PM | For those of us who are not "rich", it seems just crazy.
But, for those who have the big bucks and want to blow it like that ... totally their choice ... | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/12/2009 10:58:30 PM | Have been to some recent weddings that were probably close to 60k. But these are people who are very successful, already own their home, travel a lot and have been engaged three years and have saved up for the party. This included a great dinner, ceremony, dancing etc.
And for some its an investment. Had this been a better economy I imagine they would have spent closer to 100k. And these are people who do not have divorce in their lexicon. No one in their family has ever been divorced. And they are educated, mature and got married for the right reason.
Doesn't mean anyone here need do as they did. They have also lived below their means and are not the type to shop because they are bored or insecure.
~Beth~ | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/12/2009 11:14:44 PM | IF I ever get married, and I say if, cause it really doesn't mean that much to me, I'd just as soon go straight to Vegas. 
You can be a controlling money grubbing male freakazoid over the Taco Bell bill as you can over a lobster dinner bill.
Or a cup of coffee - LOL!!! | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/12/2009 11:40:35 PM | | Each to their own. Wedding is not really related to marriage. It is a party where you two are the center. My parents and my ex's paid for our wedding that cost around $25k (not here) for 1,100 guests. We were not rich, but it was their savings.They did put us thru school.The guests brought in money as gifts amounted to $ 15k. So the wedding cost netted at $10k. Some couples actually made money off their weddings!. That was 11 years ago. That will only happen for First wedding. I am thinking of te guests' reaction to the divorce. If I am lucky enough to do another wedding , it will be different. | |
|
Landra
|
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 44 | |
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 12:15:52 AM | Spending $30k on a party-- great.
Spread the wealth ....the waiters, staff, reception site, florists, caterer, cake maker, etc. etc. etc. appreciate the business. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 12:26:07 AM | Jesus H...$30K for a friggin' wedding?! Are you serious?
Well I suppose if people are dumb enough to spend it, whatever. It's their money afterall.
If my woman ever expects this type of $30K crapola she can pay for it and I won't care. But no way I'd ever piss that much money away for a DAY.
Unreal.  | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 12:54:03 AM | Big Daddy that's a contradiction...
If my woman ever expects this type of $30K crapola she can pay for it and I won't care. But no way I'd ever piss that much money away for a DAY
You would be part of the wedding party, partaking of that 30K...
Personally if someone said they wanted to spend that kind of money on me for a party, I would say hell freaking no, and wouldn't care if it was their money being spent or not... Frankly I am just a bit to practical and would expect the same out of my partner that I was marrying...
Perhaps he/they had that kind of money to spend, but seeings how shitty the economy is, I would figure there could be a much better way of spending 30K, buy me a car, that would make my day...
In fact a lot of days... | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 6:34:14 AM | from message 37 seaga quoted me on WHY I ADVISED NOT going to Jamaica on a caribbean honeymoon. IMPORTANT INFO....
here's my reply. take heed:
the one and only time i went to jamaica i was constantly accosted by the natives. i stayed at the Crystall and it was nice and gated and private there but when i ventured out into town me and my buddy (who is a big boy) were verbally roughed up on numerous occasions. they interfere into your vacation with no fear of reprisal. i'll try to give short examples.
i exchanged money on a street corner. i wanted a jamaican dollar to take home. two jamaicans came running over screaming, cursing at us "this is my corner, only i sell drugs here. you wanna die!!?". guess he thought we were doing a drug deal. we gotta there fast.
as we walked pass a group of 4 sitting on benches the first asked need a taxi? no. the second asked the very same question.NO. the third and fourth got up and started following us asking the very same thing and offering to guide us. NO NO NO.
as i walked alone to a restaurant, just kind of wandering around, a guy came up to me and asked where i was going. just walking i said. he followed me to the restaurant, about 5 minutes, talking all the way and telling me stuff about jamaica. when i got to the door of the restaurant i said goodbye and he said you owe me $5 for the tour. i walked into the restaurant shaking my head. luckily he wasn't there when i came out but it ruined my meal thinking i would be approached as i exited.
constantly being approached to buy drugs or prostitutes or merchandise and i mean constantly. they even gave me sob stories of sick mothers and asked for a "loan".
i was so tired of it the next guy approached me and asked me where i was going (they always ask you this question-all of them). i lashed out "leave me the fvck alone". he came up to my nose and said he was going beat the fvck out of me and i yelled for "policia!!!" and he ran.
on the beach i wanted to rent a jet ski and i was bargaining with this jamaican for a good price. i used someone else's jetski rental down the beach that was cheaper. later as i sat on the beach alone, my toes in the sand enjoying myself the vendor i said no to and his 4 friends came over and said, "look at the little baby playing in the sand, the rich american who doesn't want to pay. did you save a dollar little baby? are you happy little baby?" i got that and alot more from them but when i said i'd call for the police they walked away laughing. it was bad, but all this and more, MUCH MORE than i can tell you here gave me a reason never to go to jamaica again. beautiful island, horrible people.
i'll never go there again. if you go never ever walk down an alley or somewhere outside the public domain. you will be sandbagged and robbed or worse. they are extremely poor there. never again to jamaica. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:24:52 AM | ^^^Where did you stay? I stayed in Negril and as long as you're on hotel property or restaurant property in that city the locals aren't allowed to approach customers. If you go all inclusive you'll pretty much encounter nothing.
My sister and I were approached briefly a couple times for marijuana at our semi inclusive but police herded those people off quickly. Outside of Negril which is largely a tourist area, it could be different. Our biggest problem was local men trying to befriend us, harmless but a bit pushy.
Of course in daily travels you will get salespeople who bother you, and you have to learn to negotiate or just plain be firm and say no depending on the situation, but I assume it's like that in most areas that are heavily tourist populated. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:35:59 AM | I find it kind of odd that people feel so strongly about what others do with their money. The average cost per wedding in my area is between $24,000-$45,000. I spent around $30,000 on my wedding (that includes everything wedding related), and I wouldn't say I did anything extravagent. I didn't set a budget - I just shopped around for the cheapest price for what I wanted and cut out things I didn't think were necessary to save some money. For instance, we spent a lot of money on the food and alcohol and DJ so it would be a great party, but we spent close to nothing on the ceremony. I had a string quartet play during the ceremony, but we drove away in our own car instead of renting a limo. We had a balloon drop and fireworks (we got married on New Year's Eve and fireworks were included in the cost of the location rental), but I had a friend video the whole wedding for free.
Anyway, I have a house. I have cars. I paid cash for everything we bought for the wedding.
No one is suffering because I dropped that amount.
***My dream wedding was a small destination wedding on the beach or in Vegas, but our grandparents couldn't travel. So I decided if I had to stay here it was going to be a party to remember.  ***
<div class='quote'>the one and only time i went to jamaica i was constantly accosted by the natives. i stayed at the Crystall and it was nice and gated and private there but when i ventured out into town me and my buddy (who is a big boy) were verbally roughed up on numerous occasions. they interfere into your vacation with no fear of reprisal. i'll try to give short examples.
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience in Jamaica! When I go (we usually stay in Ocho Rios or Montego Bay) I definitely get approached for sex or weed or hair braiding or whatever, but I've never seen it as a big deal.
| |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:38:03 AM | I never knew that when you grew up you had so much input into what other people do
with their lives and money.
Who cares how much anyone spends on their wedding? If they have the money and want to spend it or they don't have the money and want to finance it...how does that hurt you?
It's not stupid if it makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone else.
You can always choose not to attend a wedding that offends you I guess. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:43:34 AM | | The way I see it, if two people want to spend $30,000 on a wedding then let 'em do it. But as for me? Hell no. That is enough to either make a downpayment on a house or totally furnish a new appartment, or get a decent car, etc. etc. I certainly would want a wedding -- do not misunderstand me -- but I do not see a point in pretending to be someone that I am not for a day. That is silly. To me, a wedding is not The Day. Rather, it would be the first day of the rest of my life. As others have said here, money trouble is one of the major things that lead toward divorce, which is at a very high rate to begin with. Anyway, that is how I see it. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 8:33:18 AM | I suppose if you have that kind of money and want to spend it on some fancy schmancy wedding, that's your option. Personally, I can find 1,000 other ways to use that money for more important things. Not to say a wedding isn't important..... but I wouldn't rank it real high on the monetary priority list!
For me, if I ever get married again (and that's a BIG IF!) I'd want it to be small and simple. I'm unusual anyway in that I would want a wedding in the woods with a renaissance theme to it or a disc golf theme. Anyway... in the woods, a few people, and a justice of the peace. That's it. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 9:27:48 AM |
Big Daddy that's a contradiction... If my woman ever expects this type of $30K crapola she can pay for it and I won't care. But no way I'd ever piss that much money away for a DAY You would be part of the wedding party, partaking of that 30K...
Hmm...I fail to see how that would be a contradiction? I'm saying that if she wants to have some lavish wedding at $30K that she can pay for it herself then...
Agreed I'd be partaking, and I see no way around that as I'd be the groom. So how is that a contradiction? | |
|
Home
login 
