| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 9:57:48 AM | Well, if I wanted just a court house wedding here they charge $250 for the courts time, and $130 for the marriage licence. So thats still almost $400.
I agree that $30k is mental, but to have a nice wedding with only 70 ppl my fiancee and I are looking at almost $5000. | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 10:48:16 AM |
Oh, I'm not sure you know this, but a lot of the stuff on TV is sensationlist.
It's not quite as made up as you would like us to believe. I know personally a number of people who have done this. Quite a few family members have also wiped out whatever savings they had and drove themselves into the hole to make up the rest of the money. | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 10:51:46 AM |
Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Why not? It is said that the weeding day is the most important day of a woman's life... assuming it's her first wedding. Since it's HER day, as most women insist, and it's mostly about her, if she can cough-up the $30K, she can have a $30K wedding. | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 11:02:58 AM | A lot of people make really good money. To them 30 or 40 grand to spend on your first wedding is nothing.
Depends on your backround a lot of times you get that back as wedding presents.
Anyhow if you cant afford it dont do it. Personally i see nothing wrong with it.
I really do not like people who cast stones , when someon does something and its not their cuppa tea. | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 11:42:14 AM | Annie said: (after quoting me):
It's not quite as made up as you would like us to believe. I know personally a number of people who have done this. Quite a few family members have also wiped out whatever savings they had and drove themselves into the hole to make up the rest of the money.
BUT...
ndulj said:
The Wedding Report puts the AVERAGE in the states at about $20,398 for 2009, down from $21K in 2008.
The MEAN is more in the neighborhood of $14K...
...a lot more weddings happen for around $5K to $10k than any other price.
someone else made a point that what you see on TV is sensationalism. Bingo.
The wedding industry WANTS women to believe that they have to spend that much or they won't have their "perfect Day".
My mom is a wedding consultant, and agrees with these figures, presented by a woman IN THE INDUSTRY. But, no, Annie, YOU are the expert, so go ahead and tell everyone how much money your family spent on weddings they couldn't afford. You saw it on Jerry Springer so it must be true!
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And Cereal, you should NOT be dating, your posts indicate time and again that you despise women. | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 12:00:40 PM |
god do people still get married !!!????
I know right? In this day and age it's strange everytime I hear it, and the economy takes the cake (no pun intended). Talk about a luxury that can be postponed...
LOL, I will point out one piece of irony I see in all this.
I see a lot of women say they wouldn't want a 30K or more wedding as it's financially frivolous.
Uh huh...I suppose you see something no one else sees here, do tell.
Curious if most women would feel the same way about the engagement ring if the guy spent 50 bucks on a ring and used the rest of the money for that downpayment on a house or investments that people are talking about in here.
I think engagement rings are just as stupid honestly, and I don't wear jewelry so personally I feel that yes - that money should be used more practically as well. Granted getting married without a ring might confuse some as to whether or not I am single, so I'll skip the wedding too so that everything stays logical.
Here's the tricky part. A guy could make the mistake that a woman's opinion on a specific situation about money means shes not all about money and ruthless about it in the first place. But that's not always true. Financial values have to be seen across multiple situations and across time and a full spectrum of established behavior. A woman who won't go crazy over a wedding cost doesn't always mean she won't go crazy over another money issue ( not saying she will, just saying she might not either).
With my own personal money? Maybe - but how's that relevant to anyone else?
And just because a woman might think 30K is ridiculous doesn't mean she would find 22K ridiculous. Most women are just not going to point that out to most men unless they ask.
I find 1k ridiculous for a wedding, and don't agree with marriage altogether for the most part, but I suppose you can back anything up with facts if you're on a big enough mission to prove a point.
Also the ability to deny spending 30K on a wedding implies the 30K is potentially available to be spent in the first place. What if it wasn't?
The point is, for a lot of people it's not. That doesn't stop some people from spending it....thus, the debt discussion mentioned here a lot of times.
Guys, don't kid yourselves. It often just comes back to money when the issue of who you can date and how far you can date them go. Of course we can't expect most women to empathize with us on this issue, they are socially judged for how hot they are or not, not by their bank accounts like we are.
LOL....well the best way to avoid that is to avoid women altogether and just hang out with your friends for the rest of your life. They'll never want you for your money, so everyone wins. | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 12:05:23 PM | You sound a little bit like your glass is half empty, OP... JMO.
Spending that much on a wedding is riddiculous regardless of if you can afford it or not. I guess some people like all the hoopla but personally, I don't want to spend my big day stressing about how i'm going to pay for the table cloths. Whooo cares!! | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 12:21:09 PM | In response to CerealLover in post 62....
I see a lot of women say they wouldn't want a 30K or more wedding as it's financially frivolous.
Curious if most women would feel the same way about the engagement ring if the guy spent 50 bucks on a ring and used the rest of the money for that downpayment on a house or investments that people are talking about in here.
I can't speak for every woman, but only for myself. I don't want a $30,000 wedding. I also don't want a $50 ring. The difference between these two examples is this: You wear your ring for the rest of your life (well hopefully), and your wedding only lasts a day. If I were about to marry a man smart enough to invest the remainder or purchase a home with it, I'd consider myself lucky.
So, would I spend a fortune on a wedding? No. Would I request you spend a fortune on a ring? Absolutely NOT- but I don't want it to come out of a cracker jack box, either.
In response to your comment about women judging you by your bank account... I won't deny that some women probably do. But I think for most (or at least a large number of us), it comes down to more than that. I want to know you're secure and responsible and not bumming it at the 7/11 on the corner, because I have no intentions of becoming your Sugar-Momma. But I don't need a Sugar Daddy either... just someone with his sh*t together. | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 12:32:14 PM | Annie, YOU are the expert, so go ahead and tell everyone how much money your family spent on weddings they couldn't afford. You saw it on Jerry Springer so it must be true!
I never claimed to be an expert. That was and is you who is claiming that.Oh and I don't go to weddings. They have turned into nothing more then cash grabs in which people actually have the audacity to state "cash gifts only please". | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 12:53:02 PM | Sorry Big Daddy, it was meant as a chuckle (no offense intended), you personally wouldn't (maybe) be dropping 30 K for the wedding, but since people marry to go from two to one, you would have dropped that kind of money even without actually doing so...
The deal is, if you had a gal that would drop 30K and you wouldn't, that would be a conflict of interest, unless she was independently wealthy and then she could spend as much money on pretty much anything when ever she wanted....
In my days of wedding planning my Groom was involved with the amount that was spent. Therefore in my minds eye we spent the money together, even though I was the main contributor... It wasn't anything NEAR 30K.... It was a quaint but lovely 3 K, Personally I like to fly one the cheap but cool, and have a lot of friends as myself are talented in arts, and cooking, as well as had family that catered and made cakes, and of course yet another that did photography....
People can certainly do what they like, I don't be grudge anyone that has this ideal in their mind, however it is the constantly unhappy with NOT achieving perfection....
I was a brides maid in two wedding and one was more of a bridezilla than the other.... I just don't know which....
I was a single mum two young younglings at home, and both wanted me to fork out several hundred on a bridemaid dress... I was just getting to the poitn of graduating, and gonna fly the coop, but first needed an actual job which entailed travel, and over nighters...
Oh my gosh some of these 30K weddings don't include paying for the bridal and grooms parties apparel. The one gal had an extremely fancy affair, I and my 3 yr old dropped out of the bridal party, because I refused to pay 175.00 (this was in 89) for her dress... the marriage lasted 6 yrs, and to this day I don't feel bad for bowing out...
Bottom line, some people are born to spend freely and others like the thrifty side of things, because we can't have everything, but we certainly can spread money to the furtherest reaches and feel just as happy...
Cereal you are just a riot, you know what is in the mind of a woman, and that YOU will be supporting them.... Well maybe the hotties you date, but the rest of us WOMEN do know that we too get judged as to whether we can take care of our self, and our kids by our own means...
Nice to make such a sweeping judgment, but then again you don't like women anyways, so why would it be a surprise you say so...
By the way, some of us ladies DON'T need an engagement ring to be engaged... AND are perfectly happy with the practicality of just exchanging matching bands...
Further more you state it all comes back to how the woman is and her practicality is with finances... What I am getting by this you mean, it is ok for you to spend some ungodly amount on a crouch rocket just for you, and would be PISSED if you had a wife say anything along the lines of huni we can't afford that, and actually need a car instead... Rolls eyes, shrugs shoulders... | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 1:00:43 PM | Different strokes- right?
If I could do it- why not? If I could not afford it then I would not!
If I had a daughter- and she wanted one- the TRUTH is a "Normal" wedding cost 20k 20 years ago, with all of the extra touches......
Most men would say no way, but if it was for thier daughter- they would find a way!!
It has been a tradition for years, and the point is we are only suppose to get married once! Not twice, or three times!! We are not to collect diamonds to make a tennis braclet!!!
So I say live, live - GO FOR IT -Have fun and stay married!!!!!!! If that is your choice!!!! | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 1:04:34 PM | Well good luck with whatever you do-
if you can do it for 5k- kudos to you-
for 50 people?
I just figured out a brunch with 50 people and flowers (simple, but elegant) then you add drinks- and most people like a full bar-
It will be far over 5K- and that is for eggs!!!!! | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 1:26:20 PM |
Sorry Big Daddy, it was meant as a chuckle (no offense intended), you personally wouldn't (maybe) be dropping 30 K for the wedding, but since people marry to go from two to one, you would have dropped that kind of money even without actually doing so...
The deal is, if you had a gal that would drop 30K and you wouldn't, that would be a conflict of interest, unless she was independently wealthy and then she could spend as much money on pretty much anything when ever she wanted....
Yea see that's where ya lost me...with the whole "two to one" bit. Sure I'll marry to form a union of sorts and be a "couple" but there's no way that our incomes are gonna be combined. Hell to the no. Any woman I marry is gonna have her own financial independence and not be marrying me to better her financial situation. Again, Hell to the no.
So there'd be no conflict at all. If she wants this super huge to-do that's gonna run her $30K, then she can front for ALL of it on her own. I'd be happy with a JP a couple witnesses and done. She wants some big extravagant affair for a whopping ONE WHOLE DAY then she better be prepared to start writing her own cheques for it.
I'd rather see that kinda money dropped for a downpayment on a home. You know...something beyond just a whopping ONE WHOLE DAY. | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 1:40:53 PM | | Hey, if a person's got money to burn and can afford to be frivolous, by all means knock yourselves out. What I hate seeing is either all these parents figuring they "have" to spend the big bucks to marry off their daughters (and less often their sons) or there's some kind of disgrace attached to it... or to see (especially young) people buy into the idea that it's better to spend $20/30k on a one night party instead of investing in their future or even their present day situations. Tradition or not, it's crazy when you can't afford it. I wonder how many had the weddings that cost that much and now are facing foreclosure on their homes because they can't afford to pay their high monthly mortgage payments (and then blame it all on governments and corporations). I 100% agree with BDJ on this one. People start out in their lives together financially irresponsible and seem to continue on in the same vein and somehow everyone else gets blamed for it. | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 2:16:32 PM | I think that the wedding dinner should be pot luck.
Everyone should bring a covered dish.
After that comes the barn raising.
Every young couple just starting out needs a nice solid barn.
If all the folks aren't too tuckered out then there will be a dance.
I'll call the squares!
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 2:19:32 PM |  pfffffffft....I agree with you more often than not BDJ...I just don't say so too often so as not to make your hat band too tight. | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 2:21:18 PM | If someone can afford that kind of wedding and that is what they want, who the hell am I to judge.
We all make our own money and because of that we get to decide how to spend it. | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 3:33:51 PM | Anytime I hear people who perhaps are not as well off complaining because people who do have money, are spending the money they have the way they want, I see big red envy flags. If someone has the money and they are not going into debt I see nothing wrong. Could it be that when some people bemoan spending a lot of money on a wedding that they are thinking its the people who are going into debt that is the problem. All my family and close friend own their homes. Cars are paid for when bought. No debt. When the guys from Microsoft, Google, Yahoo got married they could well afford the big wedding. Average people may not be able to do so.
~Beth~ | |
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| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 3:41:42 PM | I think if you have the kind of income to afford an expensive wedding, then go for it.
However, the ones I see who spend money they don't have, because it's "her day" (I can't imagine a guy wanting a lavish wedding), that's plain stupid. Funniest incident was a woman who got her family to spent thousands for her wedding, then wanted a divorce from the guy 6 months later. I felt so bad for her family.
Personally...I'd rather spend little on the wedding and spend it all on a nice honeymoon. Weddings should be about the bride and groom anyway...not the lavish show for families and such. Probably why I don't find weddings fun. | |
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