|
|
|
|
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 3:44:55 PM |
Anytime I hear people who perhaps are not as well off complaining because people who do have money, are spending the money they have the way they want, I see big red envy flags. If someone has the money and they are not going into debt I see nothing wrong. Could it be that when some people bemoan spending a lot of money on a wedding that they are thinking its the people who are going into debt that is the problem. All my family and close friend own their homes. Cars are paid for when bought. No debt. When the guys from Microsoft, Google, Yahoo got married they could well afford the big wedding. Average people may not be able to do so.
I agree 100%.
I suppose it is one thing for two people making $50k a year between the two of them to spend $30k on a wedding but people who make lots of money think nothing to spend that much because they can.
I have a workmate who is planning to spend $25k on a vacation. It is just a normal thing in my circle like spending $5 on a cup of coffee is to others. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 4:53:53 PM | Actually browneyes from page 3 it is stupid.
No wonder this world is falling apart. In my opinion everyone should be made to have a small wedding and then donate money to Africa or somewhere where people are actually starving.
Marriage is a special thing but the whole fancy dress, fancy cake etc is just ridiculous. And what's more most of those people don't stay together because the woman is only interested in getting her "big day".
They had a show on Oprah once, when I was at home with my little ones, and the husbands to be were stressing about how much it was going to cost them just for one day. They were thinking about the money being better spent on payments for the house they would be living in - after the big event was over.
The brides to be were only interested in spending lots of money to impress family and friends.
Seriously people need to think about what the word marriage means. It's not one day - it's the rest of your life with another person that you supposedly love. So why would you want them to be in debt for the rest of their lives.....................???? Just asking.
For the record - yes I did have a small wedding - 30 people and it was at a guesthouse restaurant and it didn't come anywhere near $30,000. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 5:33:04 PM | | My boyfriend and I have decided that we don't want to spend a lot of money on a wedding. It's only 5 hours, one day of our lives. We'd rather spend less and save the money for a house. We've estimated 15 grand for our wedding. Money will come from my mom, my dad, and us. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 5:41:24 PM | I sometimes watch that "Platinum Weddings," on WE, and it's just insane. This one wedding...the food for the reception was $100,000 and the floral centerpieces (JUST the centerpieces, not any of the other billions of flowers) were $85,000.
The people on those shows are so caught up in the party, and impressing their friends and neighbors, and outdoing someone else's wedding, I think they forget why they are actually doing it. It's got nothing to do with their commitment to each other, just about putting on a show.
We are getting married on a beach, with someone there to marry us, and anyone else who wants to show up. It's going to be about US, and our future together. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 5:50:03 PM | No wonder this world is falling apart. In my opinion everyone should be made to have a small wedding and then donate money to Africa or somewhere where people are actually starving.
Ok, sorry, but I have to take issue with that. Everyone should be "made" to have a small wedding?? And who would enforce that, the Wedding Police? I choose not to spend a fortune on a wedding, but no one should ever be allowed to tell someone else they can't, if they can afford it. If someone wants to work hard and save up money for a wedding, or ANYTHING, that's their perogative. If the bride/groom's parents are well to do and want to throw a huge shindig, then that's their perogative. They do not OWE any of THEIR money to ANYone else, just because they have it. No one else is ENTITLED to the money that they would spend on a wedding.
If you want to live where money is forcibly taken from people and given to someone else, go find yourself a communist country to live in, but leave my paycheck (what's left of it anyway) alone. My paycheck is too busy supporting lazy good for nothing welfare moms, to have anything left for Africa.
And there are people starving in your own country, why would you have (more) money forcibly taken from the citizens to send overseas, where the starving people there won't see a dime of it, because their slimeball government steals it all?
I'll tell you what. You send YOUR money to Africa, and I'll use mine to feed my own kids...and to pay for whatever kind of wedding I want to have. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 6:10:22 PM |
I sometimes watch that "Platinum Weddings," on WE, and it's just insane. This one wedding...the food for the reception was $100,000 and the floral centerpieces (JUST the centerpieces, not any of the other billions of flowers) were $85,000.
The people on those shows are so caught up in the party, and impressing their friends and neighbors, and outdoing someone else's wedding, I think they forget why they are actually doing it. It's got nothing to do with their commitment to each other, just about putting on a show.
Yea and that's just the mentality I'm referring to that I just don't get and never will. All this pomp and circumstance for ONE DAY?
Let's remove the current economic strife for a moment. Let's just say that the economy is status quo for the time being. Even in a situation like that, how anyone can justify spending stupid amounts of money for ONE DAY is a complete mystery to me, and always will be. And all this chatter about "if you have the money and can afford it, why not?" just makes me wanna vomit. No one has answered the WHY (and not likely to either) but they're all about the WHY NOT. That kind of ridiculous mentality is what causes stuff like the economy to splinter as it has, and people to lose everything they own. That same mentality of spend spend spend just because it's there.
Now if a wedding was an all year affair, and had all kinds of things to do and partake in for one and all (not just bride and groom) then yea I could see the expense being justified and somewhat "worth it". But all this huffle for just ONE DAY? That's just absurd. Just using the $30K that people started with, that could easily pay my rent/mortgage for the next 2 years. Or be a nice downpayment on a home that one would reasonably expect to live in the rest of their life. Or could buy a 2009 vehicle of some sort that can be used for the next 10 years or better. Or at the very least pay for a vacation somewhere for a week or better if not far longer (location dependent). But the cost of ONE DAY is to trump all of that?
How can that NOT be the most ridiculous thing ever?
In my eyes one can never justify spending that kinda cash on a ONE DAY event...no matter how well off they were. Just a bunch of pomp and show for a bunch of self serving people to stand to impress them for no reason at all.
And people wonder why a marriage ain't taken seriously anymore. If the wedding ain't even taken seriously any more than just a pissing contest, then how can one expect the marriage to fare much better?
Eesh.  | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 6:54:05 PM | Went through this a year ago. Were in the middle of renovateing my house when my fiancee and I got engaged. Average cost of a wedding was $10k, or so we were told. It would have made a lot of economic sense for ours to be no more than $5k.
Neither of us made a lot of money. And her father hadn't been a part of her life for years. None the less I wanted to try to keep costs low and have us pay for as much as possible. We were both adults in our mid-30's, time to forget the pricess wedding.
But during the planning process our modest goal of less than $5K ballooned to over $13k...with 4 months to pay it. Plus trying to find money to get the house renovations back on track and cover all our other bills. It just wasn't going to happen. We couldn't cancel without loosing lots of money on non-refundable deposits, so even scaleing things back was going to hurt us. We ended up breaking up over it, and lost at least $4k in deposits.
All in all its a good thing though...I'm not divorced and I still got my house. And I'm dead certain that my wedding (if it happens) will not put me into debt again. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:01:01 PM |
But during the planning process our modest goal of less than $5K ballooned to over $13k...with 4 months to pay it. Plus trying to find money to get the house renovations back on track and cover all our other bills. It just wasn't going to happen. We couldn't cancel without loosing lots of money on non-refundable deposits, so even scaleing things back was going to hurt us. We ended up breaking up over it, and lost at least $4k in deposits.
Wow Darren...ouch. Well like you said, look at the bright side...at least you din't lose anything in some messy divorce later on, now neck deep in debt for one day's worth of "show". Expensive lesson to learn, but in the end if you really think about it...at $4K lost, you still came in $1K less than your original budget AND you have one less headache to worry about later on in life with her no longer there.
So win-win. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:06:18 PM | if your worth millions, -a $30k wedding is nothing.
i've been to plenty of expensive weddings, average affairs, as well as a few Vegas quickies.
heres what the guys are thinking when their wives/girlfriends drag them to a wedding:
-better be some great liquor at the reception and whats serving,
-the girlfriend is giving me the puppydog eyes when the bride and groom kiss -oh no -i know exactly what she's thinking.
-why the hell did i agree to participate in the wedding, -nobody looks good in a powder blue tux, and these stupid white shoes -please kill me now
-better be some great liquor at the reception and whats serving,
-c'mon, do i really have to wear this beanie -i'm not even jewish
-(looking at the groom thinking -"get away now -just run for your life, run run")
-after eight whiskey sours "damn i look great in a tux"
-after ten whiskey sours "has anyone seen my cucumberbun?"
-maybe i'll just hide out in the parking lot until the wedding is over, and the reception begins.
-better be some great liquor at the reception and whats serving,
-hoping its an open bar please be open please please (crosses fingers)  | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:18:12 PM | | The way I see it, if both the bride and the groom willingly and freely agree to such expenditure, then more power to them-they're on the same page! | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:18:32 PM | I know I am a little biased because I make a living selling weddings...so if they want to spend it who am I to stop them? I see many that can afford it without even blinking an eye and I see many tears when some one realizes they can't have Cinderella's castle (so to speak).
But if you want to know why, here is my opinion/answer...
Not all, but many little girls grow up thinking about and planning that big day. They want the fairy tale, princess wedding and somewhere along the line they got to thinking that they were "entitled" to have it. If she's a daddy’s girl, he will go into debt to make it so. I have had parents tell me they were mortgaging their house to pay for their one only little girl’s big day.
What's new and strange though is how many grooms are now getting into the whole planning process...you would think the guys would be more frugal but no...they all want the Hummer limo with the hot tub...lol. That sucker isn't cheap! | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:27:28 PM | BDJ- Ha ha! True. A lot of that $4k was in the reception hall and flower deposits. Plus we got stuck buying a matching set of over 200 gold charger plates...Most...Pointless...Purchase...Ever!  | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:47:35 PM | spicynicegirl:No wonder this world is falling apart. In my opinion everyone should be made to have a small wedding and then donate money to Africa or somewhere where people are actually starving.
Fact is wealthy people like Bill and Melinda Gates who had an expensive wedding give BILLIONS to world concerns. And all the expensive weddings I have been to (maybe its a California thing) had a NO gift rule. Instead people were asked to donate to Habitat for Humanity, Doctors Without Borders, and local solar energy for the poor groups. Tens of thousands of dollars were raised for others. One couple had more than what the wedding cost, raised for a local charity.
First such wedding like this that I was invited to was back when actress Rosalind Russells son Lance married Patricia Morrow March 1975. She had been on the old tv series Peyton Place. They requested no wedding gifts. But requested donations be made to a special cause of theirs.
And for some of us a wedding is a one time lifetime experience. Not everyone who gets married will get divorced, much less allow the word to enter their marriage.
~Beth~ | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:58:38 PM | | yes i've seen the stupid Bridezillas show and the women on that show are always really nasty biotches. i wonder what on earth would possess a man to even want to marry one of them?? they are nasty, rude and lack manners and most are very self-centered and selfish. surely there are nicer women around that they could choose to marry. i almost feel sorry for the men but then i think they can't be too bright if they are in love with a monster. i'm sure most of those marriages only last a few years. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 8:07:21 PM | | Spoken For, you are soooo right, i agree with everything you said. i also know for a fact that there are people starving right here in the U.S. charity begins at home. we should take care of our own first, then worry about other countries. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 8:14:10 PM | And all the expensive weddings I have been to (maybe its a California thing) had a NO gift rule. Instead people were asked to donate to Habitat for Humanity, Doctors Without Borders, and local solar energy for the poor groups. Tens of thousands of dollars were raised for others. One couple had more than what the wedding cost, raised for a local charity. - ZenBeth
Wow ZenBeth, maybe that is a California thing, I have never heard of it, but it does sound like a terrific idea. Many adult couples, who already have
established household(s), request no giftfs. Who the heck wants 10 toasters, anyway?!
Personally, I think it's nuts for people to get so extravegant. Yes, it a special day, but I started a small (1 person) wedding planning/catering company
here in Abbotsford & based on my estimates, I can do a small tasteful wedding, with catering for 25-50 people, for under $500. A little more if you
include pictures or video. | |
|
| |
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 9:53:06 PM | spoken for - I was just trying to make a point but as usual it's been blown way out of proportion.
Also you ARE having a small wedding so what are you getting so upset about?
I mention Africa but suit yourself where the money goes. Geez you people get so freaking literal about everything!
I am just saying that alot of women who supposedly care about their future seem happy to blow most of the money on a huge pretentious wedding and not care about what comes after.
Cheers. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 9:55:11 PM | I agree spoken for, nobody can be the wedding police, and tell others who EARNED their money to spend it on someone else that is starving, or blanket less, or how ever deplorable it is...
As hard as it is to believe, people spend that amount stuffing drugs up their nose, or in their arms... They by meaningless art that people wonder what in Gods name posed you...
LOL, we live in a country where through taxes are money IS forcibly taken and given to a lot of someone else...(sorry just seen you said that)
My ceremony is not gonna cost much at all, in fact the biggest expense is the 4 day vacation in Az... We see plenty of rain, why not see what the red desert is like???
We aren't inviting others, because it is a commitment between us and in front of the great divine we believe in... Past that a pot luck dinner that would be held anyways will serve as the announcement oh by the way.
Our ceremony marks OUR day between us, not the rest of the world...
My daughters, if they want something on the line of 30K, hope they are marrying someone that wants to fork that out... No body has ever paid for mine, and my daughters are like me, logical enough to figure it is about the couple, and not this stressfilled fantasy that can turn sane people into total lunatics...
Have to admit though it is some what fun being a guest of a 20 or 30 K wedding.... As long as I don't have to be in the bridal party, the food is great... Nice to see the insane mother inlaw let her hair down, because the insanity of the whole wedding is over... Good times, glad it is not my dime...
 | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 10:01:29 PM | My late and former father in law said he would pay for an Hawaiian honeymoon but we would have to pay for the wedding and reception. After we had planned to all on our budget, he sprang for the whole thing including the honeymoon. That was 1984 the wedding and reception came in at about $1200 and the trip was about $1800 I think.
Smart man. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 10:04:04 PM | | bone WASTE OF MONEY. Have wedding yes,rain in the total cost please,$30,000 is obscene.Deposit on a house,do a lot things with that kind money. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 10:38:47 PM | For the most part, in-friggin-sane. For the average person that would be from an annual salary to 1/3 of their annual salary, giving a wide range to average.
Sadly, too many people put more time and thought into planning a fantasy wedding than they do for the future beyond the honeymoon.
And to add insult, they set up wedding registries to manipulate the "guests" to buy targeted items and have money trees or money wells to extort cash from their guests as well. It's shameful, offensive and sheer lunacy. | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 10:47:22 PM | ~OT~ Most people forget there is a marriage after the wedding. Spend that $30,000 on what comes after the wedding and it just might survive. JMO  | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/13/2009 11:09:33 PM | The whole idea of "its her big day" has always seemed so stupid to me. "Her" big day? Wait... is she getting married to Herself? I'm in a pretty awesome relationship right now. I am also a romance writer. I recently grabbed a few wedding magazines for research on a project I am writing. It had been a while since I needed to research this topic to make sure what I am writing is currently realistic. It never fails to shock and amaze me what people will do for one day. It surprised me even further when, in a random conversation with my boyfriend, I brought up the average cost of weddings and instead of responding with "Oh my God, that is insane!" his response was "Yeah, I kinda figured that." Al-rightie, then... I guess?
I think I was blessed by not being raised to over-value an extravagant wedding, and instead taught to recognize the importance of having a connection with my partner. My mother did not get an "engagement" ring from my dad during the first 17 years of their marriage. Their "wedding" was her in a white sundress and him in black pants and a striped shirt at the courthouse, with dinner for two at a local restaurant afterwords. They did not have a honeymoon. And I know they will not contribute a dime toward a wedding: if we want that we can pay for it ourselves, as it is not something they deem necessary.
I have actually never attended a wedding in my life. My best friend was suppose to get married several years but she and her ex called it off. I was always more focused on achieving academic success and furthering my dreams as a writer. I am an exceedingly romantic person and I definately want a celebration when and if I end up having the opportunaty and good fortune to spend my life with someone I truly love. However, the ways in which I would ideally do this would probably be insane to some (on both ends of the spectrum... Then again, some would argue that a life without marriage is the way to go in the first place.)
I was looking for a dress to buy for the next time my boyfriend go out to dinner and accidenally came across a gorgeous white dress with flowers and vinework set through it on eBay for $30. I had been playing the game in my head of what sort of dress I would actually want and had found that I do not care for most of the modern designs that I was viewing. As for the wedding I think that I would aim (since we are just playing 'what if' here) for it to be in the summer and have it in the backyard of my family's home. It would be a relatively simple event with me and my guy's closest family and friends (probably 75 - 100 people since we have large families). We would then rent a local hall much like my family did for my grandma and grandpa's 50th wedding anniversary and we would have a potluck meal where we would challenge our friends and famly to prepare foods that they felt had memories of who we as individuals are. The crowning achievement would likely be a trio of cakes that my mother WOULD design (Just cuz the parents do not want to shell out for a multi-thousand dollar wedding does not mean they want no part in it). The first cake would have two interlinking hearts with our names on them since we made a cake that had this design the first night that he came to my home. The centre cake would have the words "happy together" written in a circular pattern around it with custom made figures of our World of Warcraft characters (laugh if you wish -- we are geeks!) standing on them with some form of support (or standing behind the cake on their little pedistals if that were easier) and the third cake would have "Forever Love" written on it, in tribute to the song by Reba McEntire. The music would be karaoke and would likely be done by some of my friends who run a very successful business with this. All in all the whole 'event' would probably cost us $500 - 1.000 (ideally closer to the lower number, honestly) and that cost would include the two deeply symbolic figures that I described (they would be the largest expense at $125 each but I think that provided something about what they mean was with them, they would be quite memorable.)
At any rate... What was the other thing I came back here to write about? Ah yes, the engagement ring. I am an avid gamer and also very busy as a writer. I spend a lot of time at my computer and I certainly would not want some over-sized ring mucking up my work with a keyboard and mouse. Ideally I think that a silver band with either a single simple diamond with one of our birthstones on either side, or with our birthstones in the center and tiny diamonds along the edges, would work for me. I don't need a 5 carat pear diamond on a platinum band to be happy.
And now to contradict all this... If my guy objected to my ideas and wanted something totally other all this would go "poof!" because this is only a day and Him I would be spending the rest of my life with. (In all honesty I only started thinking about this since there have been some posts on it here and I am in a good relationship that I hope someday takes that route.) At any rate, just more of my own 0.02. This is very interesting though.  | |
|
| Spending $30,000 or more on a wedding.
Posted: 4/14/2009 12:15:50 AM | Loveliest wedding I ever attended: bride wore a borrowed dress, bouquet was a handful of field flowers, church was a small Revolutionary War period chapel, reception was in their garage, bride made all the food, a friend (me) made the wedding cake. Everyone was happy, and the marriage has lasted (so far) 18 years.
Second best (which I didn't get to attend), the bride and groom were married by a friend in a carriage (the carriage driver was the only witness -- except for the horse) overlooking Lake Michigan. The party was held immediately after at the pub where they met. A reception, with a cake made by the bride was held for the families three weeks later at a friend's restaurant. Bride didn't decide on a dress till the afternoon of the wedding.
TO EACH THEIR OWN.
 | |
|
|
| Page 4 of 6
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 |
|
Home
login 
