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 edencapwell
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 51
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Is there too much competition on dating web sitesPage 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
i think the whole Favorites list thing is kind of stupid. didn't realize this was a popularity contest. i had nearly 50 people who put me on their favorites list but maybe only 2 contacted me so i wouldn't worry about the woman who has 115. chances are those men will never contact her which is something i don't understand. not exactly sure why people add you as a favorite, then never initiate contact. maybe they just like to look at the pictures, lol. i even had a few women who put me on their list, lol. but i was penpals with one and had met them all here on the Forums.
 Annie was here
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 52
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 3:51:15 PM

How would you know what I stated is false?



Because I am an average woman therefore I know more about average women and pickiness then you do.



My point was average looking women ( in general ) can be just as picky as the attractive women.



Your statement is false. It is based on skewed facts.Basing your beliefs on what goes on in dating sites will skew anyone's beliefs. Average or ugly women learn very early on that being picky will ensure they will be alone forever.
 edencapwell
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 53
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Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 3:52:54 PM
sorry to have to tell you this but if they are constantly telling you they are *busy*, then they obviously aren't interested in meeting you. they could be honest and just tell you that but instead they use the lame busy excuse. if you are really interested, you make time for the person, not blow them off. also, did you ask for their phone numbers and call them at least? i feel that's always the next step after email. i NEVER meet someone without speaking to them on the phone at least once.
 DoctorWhoFan
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 54
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Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 3:57:23 PM
Many of the average women don't think they are average, and are princesses in their own mind. And they are on here, thinking it is a buffet, that it's "raining men" so they can be picky and ignore all the guys who are not "Mr Universe."
 peiganjan
Joined: 11/27/2008
Msg: 55
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 3:57:44 PM
in my observation, online dating is a lot like window shopping.
so many options, and everyone wants the bigger bang for their "buck". or, they want three pairs of "jimmy choos", one in every colour.
unfortunately, we often forget that what's behind door number one, two AND three is...
people.
individuals w/real hearts, personalities , needs, hang-ups and imperfections. every one of us.
we are not "disposable", and ought not to be treated as such (ie. ignored messages, abrupt farewells, rude comments and sexual propositions).

i just don't get it...how such a lack of respect and courtesy exists between "civilized" humans that we are.
it seems to me that folks tend to think they'll find their perfect (plastic) Ken or Barbie online...and pass up some pretty awesome REAL people in the process.


i, for one, have no idea what men want anymore.
*shakes head*
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 56
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 3:59:01 PM

if there's nothing within her profile that you can comment on or write a question about, then maybe just a comment on the weather - trite, but true for breaking the ice :)

If a woman has nothing in her profile on which I can comment, then why would I want to contact her in the first place, except for a hook-up based on the photos in her profile?
 DoctorWhoFan
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 57
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Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 4:02:08 PM
Peiganjan

Well, I don't know what men want anymore, but I think the problem is a lot of men and women are shallow. Our consumeristic culture affects how we treat each other, especially on dating sites. It's all as you said, window shopping, and the thing is, unless you are around a person and give them a chance, the reason for rejection tends to be superificial. Sure, a few things I think people can rule out -- moral issues, for example, but most I don't think are doing that when they ignore people. They just think "me me me" and show they are not open to relationships anymore.
 peiganjan
Joined: 11/27/2008
Msg: 58
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 4:08:58 PM
Dr Who:
sad, but true.
what's even sadder is that it's precisely those folks you'll hear gripe the loudest when they can't meet anyone "real".
*rolls eyes*
 AuntEmily
Joined: 10/18/2008
Msg: 59
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 4:18:21 PM
Well I guess I'm another average woman. When I was looking for someone I didn't get very many men contacting me. Most of those who did contact me seemed to have absolutely nothing in common with me and didn't seem capable of holding an e-mail conversation. I certainly wasn't picky about what they looked like but I was picky about having something in common with them and being able to talk to them. Not because I have delusions I'm some sort of princess but because I don't see any point dating men I'm obviously not going to get on with. It doesn't mean I'm unreasonably demanding because of having more choice on line. I wouldn't have considered dating any of those men if I'd met them in real life either.
 shipoker58
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 60
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 4:31:37 PM
competition is great.I think there are way too many dating sites, but it's all about supply and demand. When I was looking for a partner, I was on every site I could find. Then I thought who am I kidding. I wouldn't want to date someone who would want to date me, anyway! So I just hang out because I have nothing better to do. But yes, I believe there are too many dating sites, but never too much competition.





...JMO
 ProdigalSon81
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 61
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 4:37:16 PM
I'd say yes, but it comes with the territory.

People are always going to look for the next big thing.
 OliveaG
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 62
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 4:38:09 PM
Here's my take on "competition on dating websites":

Me personally, I prefer NOT to have men add me to their list of favorites...this is NO competition, this is my future life partner I am looking for. I don't want Mr. possibly Right to click -on- by because I had a pile of favorites! Instead I choose to retain ONE message from a guy who peeks my interest...if we haven't exchanged messages then we must not be interesting enough! These men who pop me on their favorite list and don't send a message absolutely make me livid! I am a "big girl" I will step up to the plate and compete with any women out there...I have some great qualities....HE has to choose what works for him. If its not me...I'd rather know than whine about the "what ifs"!

I choose NOT to message men with more than 10 "worshippers". With that said, if he noticed I viewed his profile then contacts me...I will be courteous and respond.

To the women who say they are too busy to meet you for coffee...they're either "serial dating" or insecure within themselves due to lies and deception on their profile. I put some thought into how I can "keep myself safe" when meeting a stranger for coffee...what's wrong with meeting in a public place, leaving that place during decent hours and getting in your own car and heading home... he will call again if he is interested...and probably respect her more for not "going all the way on the first date" sheesh
 *Cowboy*
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 63
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Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 4:52:57 PM
Olivea: Sorry Darlin I think you have it all backwards.
<div class="quote"> These men who pop me on their favorite list and don't send a message absolutely make me livid

And why is that? Let me explain favs for ya since your new here and I have been here a few years. Most pay sites have "winks" or "flirts" or "icebreakers" to send to let someone know your interested without writing. We dont. So many here add ya to favs as a way to send you a "wink" to let ya know they were interested. Are you "livid" if a guy at the grocery store or in a bar was to wink at ya? Well this is cyber space and they just cyber winked at ya. Not sure why that makes you livid. They are using favs like your trying to use views but your way is very flawed
<div class="quote"> With that said, if he noticed I viewed his profile then contacts me. most of us realize folks VIEW a ton of profiles and views mean nothing. They can click on your profile to see a better pic and scream and hit backspace to get you off the screen in a second and never read your profile at all. Views mean NOTHING. Guys can view a hundred profiles in a night. If they fav ya they winked and are a little interested and want ya to check them out. Not sure WHY that makes ya livid.

If they add ya to favs they have showed some level of interest thats all. In other words most of us use favs like you are trying to use views. Me just viewing a profile in no way means I am interested in her and I hope to hell they dont contact me.


<div class="quote"> I choose NOT to message men with more than 10 "worshippers Worshippers? Baby its a wink. People on high favs counts have never talked to 90 percent of those folks. Most people active on the forums are on high favs as people here track each others posts via adding ya to favs. Tons of folks here in the forums have me on favs. I have more people that have fav'd me in Austarlia then California where I live.

Fav counts mean NOTHING.

Cowboy
 FreschFisch
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 64
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Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 5:11:49 PM
What would be cool is if they'd reveal who a persons favorites were. So we could see the game being played and who was playing! I mean how many favorites can one have? I have one constant that is an old friend and thats it. I had one other once. Its kind of myspace like to see how many friends you can collect? Not that i have a myspace issue.. just not my thing.

There are plenty of indicators in ones profile that let you know what a girl is here for in my opinion. Substance is the primary indicator. If they only have a few sentences, say they like to travel and not much else, or say "Make me Laugh" then they are out! I don't care what they look like!

Apply that logic to the above average as you call them and you'll find the percentages are no higher than the average girls (again as you call them).

I guess what Im trying to point to is quit just visualizing! The characteristic that they hate the most about us! Look for the substance in every profile avg or otherwise of every girl you'd consider going out with. Send em a note. A few at a time because you are gonna get loaded with replies...

Filter them out when they say something stupid or you have to pry info out of em. Have conversation not questions.

There are plenty to go around!
 OliveaG
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 65
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 5:31:00 PM
WHOA cowboy....
IF I come across a profile/pic that interests me I CERTAINLY take the time to drop a message! I have enough confidence to make my intentions CLEAR! no need to be sheepish and wink, flirt, icebreak or add to my favorites...if he "floats my boat"...I let him know it . Guess I expect the same...shy men need not "apply"
Guess it makes me livid 'cause too many men sit back and think and whine, "sheesh why do no women respond to my wink"...to that I say DUH...get up there, be brave, say you like her pic, her profile, what's the worst that can happen!

Just to add salt to an open wound....I don't much like to be called "darlin or baby"...those are terms of endearment used with/by people who actually know each other...so I say Mmmm I love a good debate...thanks cowboy...keep it coming! Seems you are the ultimate debater (so I see) LOL
 sugar62law
Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 66
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Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 6:13:40 PM
Well sweetpea, I will be sure never to use that term when refering to you in the future... But I do have to admit. I use it on everyone. We have a high turnover rate of new officers where I work... it is much easier to call them all sweetpea, than trying to remember new names constantly.
Hmmmmm and I haven't been filed on for sexual harrassment yet..... I know, I know it is an unfare world. I'm sure if I was a man, it would be different... blah blah blah

Sugar
 sugar62law
Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 67
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Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 6:34:31 PM
Nope you had them right... And you are pretty accurate with the attitudes.... Hey are you watching us? LOL Chili is OCD and puts the energizer bunny to shame... And Booter is 3.5 pounds of BS... The only problem he has is that when he growls? He yawns halfway thru.... totally blows the whole tough man image....LOL

edit... oops. my bad too.... The big girl had to be put down in January... I thought you were talking about the two chihuahua's....
But no..... My big girl was the sweetest most mild mannered dog, I have ever had the pleasure owning. She was unfazable... I have pics of my nieces riding her like a horse, and she just looks up at ya..like.... "ya I know, they grow up eventually" Oh I sure do miss her smiles meeting me at the door every day when I get home from work.... But the "boys" are glad to see me too...
 akimmbo
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 68
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Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 7:01:00 PM
Well, I guess the answer would be yes to your questions there, friend.

But, nothing wrong with a little competition, I suppose. These are actually non'
dating sites, you know?......If we are to follow your 'logic' that one is constantly waiting for an upgrade. In many ways...you're right there.

So, instead of following stats and numbers which, by many women's admissions, mean absolutely nothing to them, let's look at it a different way.....

I think it's fairly obvious that if one takes themselves from their little corner of the world where you might run into a few people a day.,..and then put yo' self up on the Internet, you are going to be exposed to 'million's'. more people, more contenders...I guess.

So... the bottom line is...we either click with someone, and it moves up the scale...or not...if they are too busy, or waiting on Mr. Right, then what does that mean? ummm.... Nothing really.

You will run into more than two woman who are attractive and have similar interests to you when you are on a worldwide site, trust in that, my man. It's not really about competition, OP..never really was...it's simply about exposure, time, happenstance, will, and the World's whacky little game of randomness.

regards
Kimbo**********************************
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 69
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 7:07:50 PM
Because I am an average woman therefore I know more about average women and pickiness then you do.


Your views don't necessary reflect what all or most average looking women think. Unless you are bisexual or lesbian, you aren't attempting to date other average looking women. Men who attempt to date average looking women can tell some of them are picky by their profiles or any subsequent email / phone conversations.


Your statement is false. It is based on skewed facts.Basing your beliefs on what goes on in dating sites will skew anyone's beliefs. Average or ugly women learn very early on that being picky will ensure they will be alone forever.


Well this topic was about whether men would have more success if they primarily contacted average looking women on dating sites. Internet dating can make some people more picky. However I have met several average looking or ugly women "offline" who were also very picky.
 sugar62law
Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 70
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Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 7:45:17 PM
NOC... Booter is the 3.5 pounder.... His name is really Bruiser, but come on..... get real.... Nope he is a Booter Butt.... My name for him.....LOL

Ginger was my big girl.... Damn I miss her...
 seaga
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 71
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 8:13:26 PM
LOL..OP I know what you are saying about the "too busy" type thing..ridiculous Anyway OP, yes there are a LOT of competition son online dating sites...in other words its competition for the MAN mostly..women don't really have much of a competition.

But I dont think that is the main problem with online dating. I think it's the fact that people have so many choices..yes even though men have a lot of competition they still have options just like the women. That is the reason why when two people meet online, like here on POF....and go on a first date/meet..usually there is not a second one. They give up easily and want everything to be perfect from the get go
 Wild DNA
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 72
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 8:16:03 PM
Why do you see them as competition? They are called choices... and just because his grass may be greener on the other side, does not mean she is any more interested in him. She will sift as men do ...between many invites before she decided that yes this is the one I want.

As much as you men love to say we are complicated we really are just changing... men find it harder now to catch a woman. And to top it all off... you are not only competing with men my dear but you are also competing with women! If a woman after talking to her is too busy to meet you then you need to move on ...these women can keep you running in circles for a long time. Women that are serious about meeting someone or finding someone... actually meet them within a month of talking at the most. Anything else that keeps you hanging on forever...means the fish got away...you’re tugging on an empty line.

I wish you the best of luck!
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 73
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 8:25:09 PM

"if there's nothing within her profile that you can comment on or write a question about, then maybe just a comment on the weather - trite, but true for breaking the ice :)"

If a woman has nothing in her profile on which I can comment, then why would I want to contact her in the first place, except for a hook-up based on the photos in her profile?


personally, i agree; i enjoy writing to people with whom i share common interests - hard to know if that's the case when nothing's written...

but i was replying to the chap who wrote:


And it gets tiring writing to woman after woman after woman, reading their profiles (which often give very little as to what one should use to start talking to them with), figuring out things to discuss from them..


...trying to give him an idea of how to break the ice when he wanted to chat with someone who hadn't provided fodder for such
 Mr. Blblblbl
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 74
Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 8:48:39 PM
There may be competition for some, but I don't really get involved in that. I don't have to worry about the women with hundreds of favorites because they all have the filter that you must have a picture in your profile to contact them. No easier decision to make than the one with only one option.
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 75
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Is there too much competition on dating web sites
Posted: 4/14/2009 8:54:51 PM
Are u crazy! There is not much competition at all. It is really hard to find a good person. Favorites have nothing to do with anything. Usually people just like your pics. So that really means nothing. Your being negative about yourself to start and u need to be positive. People on here I find just want to email and talk on the phone not meet in person. That is typical pof behavior I have found on here. They could also be looking for greener grass. Don't give up.
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