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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/3/2009 7:53:48 AM | I would love to know; I have all the qualities that women so often say they want and I also think that I have a lot to offer but then the sheer amount of rejection I have been subjected to on this site tells me otherwise. I know each woman is unique and looks for different things but then my results also seem so... unanimous. I am not really sure what more can be expected of me but, if someone has the answer, please let me know.
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:05:41 AM | Here's my old standard:
Women want the man who models part-time for Calvin Klein jockeys just for extra spending money while working on his doctorate in Nuclear Physics. He hasn't had time to make space for his Nobel Prize or his Pulitzer on his bookshelf, hasn't taken his degrees to be framed yet, as he's busy volunteering at the nursing home and hosting a charity telethon. He's also a diagnosed nympho (whatever the male version if there IS one), former gymnast and made the Olympic team but had to go to Europe because he's first chair violinst with the Euopean Master Orchestra. He's the only child of elderly wealthy parents who own a chain of designer shoe stores, day spas, ladies’ clothing stores, gourmet restaurants, European Chocolate specialty shops, maid services, lawn care and car detailing businesses.
Now after answering this silly question (you have to say REALLY?? Really?) so many times, I've narrowed it down to this:
A very sickly, very wealthy man with no living relatives that is able to sign a legal document. "Here, stud muffin, just sign your name and I'm all yours!"
Dang I think I may have to write another profile.... | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:20:35 AM | | I think that when it comes to dating that men get a harder time then ladies do. I am a bloke and I have chatted to a few people from this site and I arranged to meet up with 3 people from this site. The first one we met once for a drink in a pub and then she never returned my calls the second one stood me up and so I never got to meet her and the third one made me drive over an hour to meet her for dinner and after 5 mins of meeting her she told me it was not going to work out and that we should not go on this date after all. My last girlfriend went out with me for a month and then just did not return my calls one day and I have not seen or heard anything from her ever since . Another girl I met said we can just be friends but you can hug me if you like. So I have no idea what a girl is looking for I am 33 years old I have a job a flat in the UK and an apartment in Spain and a 2 passports a uk and a new Zealand passort and my own car and I can cook and am not a big party aminal and love to be romantic and not really into action films much . I do look young for my age and have long-ish hair but I always put the girl first in a relationship and always care about the girl I am going out with at the time and they all say I am really nice so I to am still confused as to what ladies want as it never seems to work out for me. Do girls not want to have nice guys as there boyfriends. Do they really want to go out with the Phill Mithcell's of the world. I just think ilfe is not fair all I want to do is fine the right girl to settle down with know wants any of that. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:34:25 AM | | OP this is your question, What are women really looking for? Someone that understands them. That is my answer | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:22:25 AM | SamtheMan08
Know the feeling well. Just don't get despondent or give up. You have plenty of years ahead of you. Try Googling some of David DeAngelo's dating guides for men. You may be coming off as too much of a "nice guy", which is a real turnoff for women, though they would never admit this in mixed company, only amongst themselves. If you're already able to find women to date you may just need to sharpen your game. David's theory is sound: you don't find a long termer by looking for her in the beginning. You start dating for the short term with the goal of having sex as quickly as possible with the largest number of women. You get there by triggering their "attraction" mode. There is a technique for this. It's from those women who want to sleep with you and can't help feeling that way about you because you did and said the right things, that you will choose who may be long term material. Women always SAY they want to play the long term game, but want TIME to get to know you first. That road goes either to Friendsville or to Providersville very quickly. You don't want to be a provider or a friend, because women control these types of men, and will always withhold sex if they think you fit in either category. Bottom line is there's always some guy they want against all logic, between their legs. You need to be that guy. Get David's stuff. It works. And stop listening to the women posters here on the forums. They are either sarcastic or just plain flat out liars, and are sadistically enjoying your frustration. They have no interest in you succeeding in finding a mate. None at all. A woman cannot tell a man how to get a woman. She'd have to be a man to do that. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/3/2009 3:09:59 PM |
I would love to know; I have all the qualities that women so often say they want and I also think that I have a lot to offer but then the sheer amount of rejection I have been subjected to on this site tells me otherwise. I know each woman is unique and looks for different things but then my results also seem so... unanimous. I am not really sure what more can be expected of me but, if someone has the answer, please let me know.
Hello there. I looked at your profile to see how it read; and it to me is interesting. You seem to be two people somewhat in it.
the one side of you is unilaterally curious, respectful, multi faceted, extremely mature, and full of divergent interests. And as soon as I was convinced that was who you were, you totally switched to only want a very very specific type, so you changed to totally surface oriented. And that's totally fine; but you in three lines; basically threw out a ton of women; and the ones that look like you want them to look are probably unsure what to do with the multi faceted, philosophical, extremely mature person you were in the first half.
Maybe instaed of being so totally rigid in your restrictions, open up your own restrictions, which maybe will allow other women to open up theirs to you as well. Because if you are into the shallow; you will have a hard time finding the deep, which is what you say you are all about.
If you give yourself more of an opportunity; you may end up with someone who is both; and don't you want women to give you that same exact opportunity? So maybe treat them as you would have them treat you.
Very best of luck. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/3/2009 4:31:56 PM | Thank you for the feedback, the compliments and the good wishes.
However, I do have to ask: what do you mean by rigid? do you mean the line about physical attraction? I thought I was being pretty open: Distance, height, ethnicity, interests and views are all non-issue for me; is looking for physical attraction really being that rigid?
I know my views on the human mind aren't very common; I knew there was a risk of appearing shallow but I didn't think it was that bad. I mean, really, is it really that unusual to look for chemistry? It's not like I don't put any efforts into my own looks either: I work out, eat well, groom, clean and try to dress well.
I also want to add that, just because I am open to everyone, it doesn't mean that I don't care about who they are. It almost seems as if others expect me to treat those who disagree with me with disdain and failing to comply to this mentality signifies that I can't actually care about the things we do agree on. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:20:04 PM | Been on here a while. As far as I can see about 30% of women on here want to date.
The rest just need the interaction and a ego boost. IE 750 favorites? They want
honest ,kind and no players. Bull, they really want GQ or biker bad boy.
If you're nice? HA forget about it. Come on if you're 44yrs old.How can you have a
serious relationship when your age requirements are 30 to 40? The only thing you and a
30yr old guy have in common is the need for hot sex. Unless you're a porn star it will
hardly fill all the ingredients for a healthy relationship. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:35:17 AM |
I know my views on the human mind aren't very common; I knew there was a risk of appearing shallow but I didn't think it was that bad. I mean, really, is it really that unusual to look for chemistry? It's not like I don't put any efforts into my own looks either: I work out, eat well, groom, clean and try to dress well.
hey, chemistry is huge; and it's important (and you appear to look very nice). I'm just saying if you rule out a bunch of types while trying to find the chemistry you don't know for sure who you'd actually hit it off with or not. Instead of being so filtered out and specific (and repeating so much about chemistry and a very specific look), do general with less filters and you will have smoeone who is "deeper" who won't think you're shallow after all and will write back (or even write you first); or you will have someone who is deeper but is not what your type automatically is, who could end up blowing you away.
You never know; I have been VERY surprised by a couple I went out with that I did not consider my "type" but went out with anyways? They knocked my socks off, and it was a total surprise. Just saying don't cut out your chances, you never know who you will hit it off with...
(and I didn't get the vibe you treat anyone with disdain; you seem nicer than that. I just said you're not giving a bunch of them a chance sight unseen; and you could end up being the loser, and what you're doing isn't working now anyways. So I was offering a suggestion for a possible compromise on your part to maybe improve your odds a ltitle ;)
peace :) | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/16/2009 7:42:07 AM | | Like lets face it this site is full of 40-55 year old wrinkled up been married 5 times and still don't know what they want wannabe cougars because no man is good enough and the the physical criteria they are looking for is so high that even Brad Pitt would not make it. They always say they want a man 5-10 years younger because they suffer from the DELUSION that they themselves look 5-10 years younger than there actual age and I bet if you were to see one of these hags in the light of day you would make the sign of the cross and run for the nearst church. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/16/2009 1:39:19 PM | | Women are looking for all kinds of different things I just feel its polite to respond to anyone who sends off an email to me or vice versa. Doesnt always happen though. I do undertsnad some women probably get a ton of emails a day so it could be difficult. But if the women doesnt respond shes probably not the one for you so why fret over it. This is just one avenue to find a match sounds like some people seem to think its a guarantee on here. My advice thats worked for me is just be yourself and see what happens. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:42:39 PM | Just reading through the posts, thought I'd throw my thought's in.
My experience with women is that "emotion"(attraction) " convenience"(availability) "intrigue"(special skill/hobby/mystery) are the most important factors.
To know what kind of girl you want is good to have, kind nice girl through to nasty b%$ch girl, No point getting your heart broken or disappointed cause you go after the wrong girl for you. Try making yourself interesting to the type of girl your after.
To keep the girls I go for interested.....lil' bit of flattery, romance, physical fitness, and sexual prowess. 
I admit though, the flattery thing is hard for me, because I always hated the guy's who could so easily talk to girl's freely and flatter them. It is necessary and good to communicate your feeling's about a woman to them. I was always told by my mother to be polite and nice to women, in other words..... be absolutely boring! Which does not go down well at all for encouraging attraction. Being flirty and cheeky, is allot more fun and interesting for any girl. Which she didn't even live by anyway, she married my father who was a popular cheeky fun loving guy. So yeah I'm a recovering boring nice guy, haha. This is not something I would admit, seen as Ive given up on meeting anyone on this site, I really don't care, haha. Or do I??? 
In my experience so far with POF and dating sites in general, on the most part i find them terrible ego busters.  But then every now and then, you find a real gem, I have a few close friend's that I would never have met without POF etc, but to make that first contact, is really difficult, in comparison to meeting people face to face. Charisma and personality go a long way in making that initial connection and interest. And like some others here, I finally looked at the forums because of lack of interest on the message front. Yes lot's of read/unread message's deleted here too Which yes, I can't get away from that initial hit of bitter disappointment, just take a breath, sigh... It's all good. I know I'm awesome, they're loss.
As hard as it is while I'm relatively young, as I see it, relationships are going to get better as I get older, and increase in knowledge and skill, which is awesome. I'm constantly surprised as I advance in years. Maybe I'm still naive. Time will tell.  | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/16/2009 5:50:40 PM | | Every psychology book I've ever read has listed status/wealth as the number one thing women look for in a man. I know a lot of women on here say they just want a guy who can make them laugh, but it's pretty much a give-in that that's a lie. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/16/2009 6:16:42 PM | if you are going odds, maybe they're right.
But they are not speaking for every woman.
to me, I want someone I can let down my hair with, someone I can trust implicitly and be vulnerable with, someone I can share and be shared with in all ways, someone I know I can have his back and he can have mine, and someone that can stimulate and be stimulated by me mentally, emotionally and physically; where interaction is a sparking, his brain is as much a stimulant as physical, and time with me is valued, where he can give and take and be absolutely rock solid in knowing I am exactly what he wants without looking any further), and I will be the same with him. And someone who is ok with time alone and time together; sharing interests and allowing some interests to be independent. Easy to find that specific match? Nope. But that is what I want in a romantic partner as opposed to friend. To have mys ocks knocked off in all dimensions, not just physical but especially mental. and have someone who feels exactly the same way about me.
I could care less what kind of job or portfolio a person has if they can do that; the only thing I'd ahve a tough time with is if they had NO job and no stability; that is not the same as being a multi millionaire. It is being independent. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/18/2009 12:46:58 AM | In the past, I thought I was something women wanted. Time fixed that problem right away!
Now I'm just a dried up old fool, that time has forgotten.
Users destroy the innocent, rather quickly.
Then people complain that so many are bitter and resentful.
Ehhh? That's life. Get used to it! | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:16:16 AM | | I totally identify with everything Ruddiger McWhiskers said. Especially the part of these sites being ego busters. Ok, I have been here for a while now, and sent dozens of ORIGINAL, THOUGHTFUL messages to women I find attractive and yet nothing. I might get 1 or 2 responses, but nothing worth while. Yet, I see women writing things like "about to give up" on their profiles. It's blowing my mind how these women have set these ridiculous standards that are just ****ing it up for everyone. One girl wrote something on her page like " if you have pics with sunglasses on, keep it moving".... Really??? Another thing is why would you give me your phone number & not pick up? why waste someone's time? New York is overflowing with singles and I see why. The women here are ****ing horrible!! They seem to only want white guys or suit-&-tie guys or some sort of perfect dream guy that doesn't even exist!!! I'm a only child to a single mother. She left my father because he was a womanizer. In turn, she raised me to be a perfect gentleman to women. Pulling out chairs & opening doors and so on. All of this has proven to be a death sentence within the dating world. Thanks a lot mom..... | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:12:31 AM | | Mr OK it is the same scene in Vancouver, they are all looking for some guy that there intellectually compromised media brainwashed minds have told them that they all deserve and nothing less then they complain that there are no good men and where are all the decent men, it goes on and on and on. I myself was raised to be a gentleman and treat women with respect and it has done nothing but backfire on me every time, yes treating them with respect is a death sentence in the dating world. Integrity,character,bravery,honesty,generosity,kindness... these are not qualities that will attract or keep a woman ,we as men have been misled by our mothers on this topic. All I see on the female profiles is must be... must be.... must be this... must be that.....must be perfect in everyway I saw a womans profile asking for a man to be at least 6'8 with "dark"hair but not brown or black hair wtf how is that even possible | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/18/2009 9:33:31 AM |
In turn, she raised me to be a perfect gentleman to women. Pulling out chairs & opening doors and so on. All of this has proven to be a death sentence within the dating world. Thanks a lot mom.....
Hey, it is not a death sentence to people worth dating. It may be weeding out those who are too insecure or self destructive or programmed to look for any but those they are put down by; but MANY others who value those traits and values (and will in turn do kind considerate acts for him as well).
so it is only a death sentence to the dating loser women who think they don't deserve any better than to be pushed around and treated like crud.
The women who have self and others respect are out there; you will run into them; and you will eventually thank your mom. Trust me. Because then you will have someone worth having; and you will both treat each other awesome; and isn't that what it's all about, instead of stupid games and manipulations?
Keep the faith, stay true to your self, and hold your head up high KNOWING you are a good thing a woman would be lucky to have. It will happen. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/19/2009 9:42:18 AM | ^^^ mortalez, believe it or not, there are some ladies looking for more than someone to finance their existence.
If people are having ssues with the opposite sex, and it repeats over and over again, thten perhaps it is the type of person you are attracting or attracted to. Time to change things up and do something about attracting what you are looking for. Maybe try fishing on the other side of the pond.  | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/19/2009 9:47:46 AM | | Not all women are like that Mort. I was looking for someone that wanted to know who I really was and willing to let me in to their life to get to know them. He'd be someone that I could tell anything to, and not have to hang my head when telling the parts that I wasn't so proud of. He'd be a good man, with a big heart, and willing to look past heartaches of the past and give me a chance to show him that I'm not like the others who hurt him. He'd be someone that would enjoy simple, unmaterialistic things, and time together would mean more than anything money could buy. Luckily, I've been blessed. Money, age, social status, or looks wasn't part of equasion. Look for someone who makes you happy on the inside, makes you want to be a better person, and someone who cares about you, unconditionally. Don't instantly love, but let it be something that grows within you. Makes the relationship all the more special :-) | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 7/19/2009 9:53:58 AM |
^^^ mortalez, believe it or not, there are some ladies looking for more than someone to finance their existence.
If people are having ssues with the opposite sex, and it repeats over and over again, thten perhaps it is the type of person you are attracting or attracted to. Time to change things up and do something about attracting what you are looking for. Maybe try fishing on the other side of the pond.
OK I have a crappy job a 21 year old car, and a 2 bedroom small house.
I also have lots of love in my heart to give, I give affection, I'm a good talkier and I'm faithfull(you know the important things).
I had a woman that got along with me great in everyway but she dumped me because I did not make more than her. not the first time that has happened. so if every woman I have dated has been that into me but let money be the desiding factor then what am I to believe?
I would rather be living in a cardboard box with the right woman than in a mansion alone or with a gold digger. | |
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