| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:07:47 PM | *golfgirl*:
So many females on POF consider the really decent, good, nice males to be unfit to date or have a relationship with. Just the SAD TRUE FACTS!!!
Good men do not get bitter or angry by taking a prescription drug!
Women who love only MONEY, MATERIAL THINGS, and themselves are the "pill" that results in the opinions, ideas, and "qualities" of men that you stated.
I have a great attitude. The issues of males arise because of the deceit of females, so it behooves males to never again fall for their smokescreens in order to be played!
I will be very selective and choose wisely, from now on, only a female who will WOMAN-UP and firmly state: "I am so different from MOST all other females on POF. I play absolutely NO games. If you will give me a chance, I will PROVE IT to you!!!"
I have yet, in over a year on POF, communicating with different types of females from all across the spectrum, have yet to have ONE, JUST ONE, STAND UP AND STATE the aforementioned!!! NOT ONE!!! This is truly sad. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:10:13 PM |
women are more attracted to'' jerk '', they experience expected failed R and they get addicted to ''jerk'' , somethin abnormal
What are you basing this inane statement on? Women despise jerks. The problem is most jerks disguise the fact they are one until a woman has slept with them or until they are ready to move on and dont want to take responsibility for the break up. No woman deliberately goes after a jerk. What an idiotic statement. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/21/2009 9:46:56 PM |
No woman deliberately goes after a jerk. What an idiotic statement.
Sorry but I have to definitely disagree with that. Drama and atttention junkies prefer jerks 100% of the time. But then sensible men avoid these kind of women. Jerks will hunt them down and play with them like a new toy.
I think in reality that a large percentage of women are not even aware of their sub-concious draw towards jerks. Either love or lust blinds them, or they make excuses for themselves to justify pairing up with narcassistic arse*holes.
It is sad to watch women in these kinds of relationships. The guys out there trying to be decent get no thanks for their choice of positive behaviors, so logically they too resort to being jerks at some level. Women no longer offer any kind of positive reinforcement to good men, and as a result these men no longer have any respect for women who make bad choices. It is a vicious cycle really.
I fail to understand why women do not grasp this cycle of negative behavior that they usually perpetrate with their own practices (not necessary beliefs). | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/22/2009 5:17:29 AM | Well, let's see....the men I know and have been meeting are NOT jerks, my single female friends are NOT gold digging game players, rather they are self sufficient, contributing members of society with realistic expectations and strong values, many of whom are over achievers.
We all have choices on who we can associate ourselves with and what we project to the world, which defines what we will accept into our life....next time you are unhappy with the outcome of a relationship, try looking in the mirror first.
Many people here would benefit from reading the Law of Attraction. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/22/2009 5:36:25 AM | I redkon it's tricky BUT there are some obvious things us women DON'T want. For example, I had one guy ask if he should bring condoms and viagra along to our first meeting. No, thank you. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:13:54 AM | Golfgirl, I love you!
I can't speak for all women, but what I want, but have yet to find, is an honest man. I know there are gold-digging women out there and I'm sure that's the reason for the previous posts by men who've been burned by them, but don't judge us all by a select, misguided few.
In order of priority, I want a man who's........
Intelligent
Honest
Funny
Loyal
I read a lot of profiles on here where men put hints or even outright talk about their financial status. Then they get gold-diggers and wonder why. Make your profile about who you are and what you want, not what you have. 
Believe me, there are male gold-diggers as well, so that trait's not gender specific. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/22/2009 6:27:39 AM |
My question to the women on here is then whats the deal?Is it race,money,height,weight....ya'll get the picture
As for being pessimistic and being accused of generalizing women, well when 99.5% of them fit that same mold, it's reality and not generalizing.
Well I guess one thing that pretty much all women would want is a man who doesn't assume they are all the same. It really isn't possible to say what women want - because we are all different and wnt different things. What we want is affected by our age (differnt points in the life cycle would have different wants) and our individual personalities and aims in life. But there are some things very few women would want.
Cause no matter what women say about not being shallow and how they don't need a mans money cause they are so independant, it's those factors in the end that prevail.
I have a great attitude. The issues of males arise because of the deceit of females, so it behooves males to never again fall for their smokescreens in order to be played!
Bitter, aggrieved men who don't like or respect women are definitely in the category of things that very few women want.
Of course some of the men on here will have had bad experiences with women. But many of the women will have had bad experiences with men too. If a woman makes a bad choice men all go on about how women like dating jerks. so what do there bad choices say about them? | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/22/2009 10:55:00 AM | Right now all I am looking for is a pair of those sneakers that little kids wear that light up in the back. In a ladies 7 1/2.  | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/22/2009 11:32:54 AM | this is a good ? plus I'm Disabled they r strange can't live with them & you can't live with out them & they same thing about men go figure    | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:46:26 PM | I can only speak for myself. I put on my profile exactly what I am (to the best of my self-knowledge) and what I am seeking, which is the same thing. But I also know from personal experience that Life tends to give you the least you are willing to accept. When it is something truly important to me (like finding my second life mate), I will take the time it takes to find or be found by the right one. If I have to wait a year or years, then so be it, although I will keep looking. I would rather have no one contact me at all for a very long time, than have many responses from incompatible fellows.
It is easy to worry that some external element is turning off potential mates (in my case, height or age), and to let one's self-image and self-esteem be eroded by it. The flip side of that, of course, is to think the problem is with the potential dates or mates. Either perspective will eventually cause you problems.
While we wait, perhaps we should take a good look at our own personalities, our beliefs, perspectives, perceptions, attitudes, etc. and any baggage we might have from before. If we spend the time now resolving whatever is unattractive in our makeup, when the right one comes along we will be far less likely to unwittingly complicate or sabotage our joint chances for long-term happiness.
My apologies if this comes across as 'preachy'. It's just one woman's point of view. If it is of value to you, then I'm glad I could help. If not, perhaps someone else can answer your question better -- or at least more succintly (grin).
All the best,
Glenoran1 | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:49:07 PM |
All you "just average guys" don’t get any dates because you don’t ask, don’t know how to treat a lady or your too busy complaining about the people that have more money and toys than you while you’re on your date. This is the FACT OF LIFE that no “average guy" wants to read, see, admit, and acknowledge!!![quote/]
Oh really. We don't ask? Why not do a survey of the average guys on here and see how many of them get UNREAD DELETED to their inquiries because their pictures dont look like they came out of GQ or they can boast of their money/toys on their profiles.
As for not knowing how to treat a lady, what correlation are you using? Average guys make more of an effort to treat women nicer, than the wealthy guys who don't need to make any such effort. Who you trying to kid here? Besides, once you get to a date, why would you even complain even yet why even bring up guys with money? | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/22/2009 10:33:30 PM | OK Poster. I will say this. I had a bad experience on here, my first time out. Most of it was my own fault and I screwed it up but I moved on. I decided I was just going to hang out here in the forums and learn. A lot of men have contacted me by e-mail and IM's. I pretty much try and say thank you but I am not dating right now.
Having said that, there is one guy. He contacted me once awile back before I ever actually met someone from here. I really didn't respond as one would who was interested. He has put me on his favorites. He is being patient. I think I might actually like him but of course I wont really know until we have contact off this site. I am still not ready to meet anyone else because I have not gotten over my behavior the first time I met someone off here. But again, I am interested in this guy. If he continues to keep me on his list I might get my bravery up and contact him.
So, basically if you find someone you are truly attracted too then be patient.Put her on your favorites list. See if she deletes you. If she doesn't, she is interested. JMO | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 2:23:49 AM |
Oh really. We don't ask? Why not do a survey of the average guys on here and see how many of them get UNREAD DELETED to their inquiries because their pictures dont look like they came out of GQ or they can boast of their money/toys on their profiles. It makes me wonder what sort of women you are contacting. You look pretty good to me although I don't think you've made the best choice of main photo since it is hard to see what you look like in a thumbnail. You aren't doing yourself any favours with what you say in your profile. A bit more information, and a bit less telling people they can't tell anything from a profile, migth get a better response. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 3:38:22 AM | For starters, they are looking for proper usage of written English. This includes spelling, grammar, sentence structure, proper capitalization and punctuation, etc.
Bottom line though, they're looking for me! | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 3:52:11 AM | We want to be cuddled and loved.
We want to feel safe, we need to trust you.
We want to communicate - truly and honestly. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 4:23:44 AM |
It makes me wonder what sort of women you are contacting. You look pretty good to me although I don't think you've made the best choice of main photo since it is hard to see what you look like in a thumbnail. You aren't doing yourself any favours with what you say in your profile. A bit more information, and a bit less telling people they can't tell anything from a profile, migth get a better response.
Thank you. Well based on what I said before on younger women not being mature enough to be serious, I typicall write to women my or older. On occasion I may dip down 5-6 years younger but typically never get repsonses. And the funniest part is while th eyounger ones don't say anything or respond, the ones a bit older than me rewspond saying I'm TOO OLD for them?
But like I tell me friends, I find it all amusing and entertaining and yes there are some really sincere sweet women out there. Just feels though like being in Washington and trying to find an honest politician LOL | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 4:52:54 AM |
I typicall write to women my or older. On occasion I may dip down 5-6 years younger but typically never get repsonses. And the funniest part is while th eyounger ones don't say anything or respond, the ones a bit older than me rewspond saying I'm TOO OLD for them? America really is a different world (I'm in the UK). Would never have occured to me that a man who was younger than me was too old lol | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:31:38 AM |
Why do so many guys think none of the women on this site are successful in their own right and are interested only in a man for financial gain?? It is truly sad to see how bitter and cynical these people have become. Is it because successful women dont put up pictures with their expensive toys or brag about their success in their profile that these guys think these women dont exist? Perhaps these ladies want to be with someone who wants them for who they are, not for the size of their paycheck.
I'm sure there are successful women out there. I have encountered a few. But tell me why you constantly here of guys taking out women more than once, and these women drive fancy cars and have the latest fashions and they talk about how they are always traveling from one exotic place to another, yet they never once offer to pick up the tab or even split it? Now I know there are plenty of women with bad finances becaus eof work or being single moms, so they are not the issue here, those you gladly pay for. I'm talking about all these well off women that you speak of that don't feel they should pay. And if mention it like I did, the accusations start flying about the guy being cheap. So when did it become an entitlement that women should not pay? Again, not all but most. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:51:59 AM |
I'm sure there are successful women out there. I have encountered a few. But tell me why you constantly here of guys taking out women more than once, and these women drive fancy cars and have the latest fashions and they talk about how they are always traveling from one exotic place to another, yet they never once offer to pick up the tab or even split it? Now I know there are plenty of women with bad finances becaus eof work or being single moms, so they are not the issue here, those you gladly pay for. I'm talking about all these well off women that you speak of that don't feel they should pay. And if mention it like I did, the accusations start flying about the guy being cheap. So when did it become an entitlement that women should not pay? Again, not all but most.
I think this must be another one of those American culture things that I don't get. It would never occur to me not to pay my share. But reading the messages on here it is quite clear that lots of women think men should pay. And quite a few men seem to share that view and think that letting a woman pay (or pay half) would somehow make them less manly. Weird! | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 11:02:58 AM | | Cause here in the US we have what we call entitled Princesses. Again, if you are taking out a nice sweet girl, by all means pay if you can. But if you're taking out some spoiled princess who probably makes a whole lot than you do and she refuses to even offer to pay, if you continue to date her then you are a chump. Cause if she's driving Beemers and wearing furs and Gucci and always talks about her constant trips then she can pay once in a while. Of course the women defense is to call the guy cheap. It's not being cheap, it's not being a CHUMP. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 11:15:18 AM | Wow I am disappointed in all the negative responses you have gotten. It seems like most guys think girls just want money and big "sausages". Maybe that is their dating problem.
I would have to agree with the people that said that us girls don't know what we want. I thought I did, then I found someone who fit that perfectly, and he turned out to be a dud. So now I don't know what I want. I know what I don't want, and if I see a red flag in a profile I tend not to respond. Many may not respond so they don't have to explain themselves to you. Finding someone is so hard, and I didn't believe it until I tried looking. Just keep trying. You will find a girl who will respond and will be interested in you because she will know what she wants. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 11:56:21 AM |
...if you are taking out a nice sweet girl, by all means pay if you can.
Again, I can only speak for myself, but I believe in the adage (that I made up  ): share the quest; share the cost. If a person (male or female) is too broke to even pay their own cup of coffee, they probably can't afford to be dating, because that entails outings which include travel costs.
I suspect that how each person handles something as simple as paying their own way at first meeting versus expecting the other person to foot the entire bill is a good indication of how things would be if they entered into a relationship. | |
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