| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 12:09:03 PM | | After reading alot of profiles, at the top of the list of what women are looking for in a man is confidence. And they want that "spark" that's almost indefinable, which is created to some extent by a man's self confidence. The problem is you can't create a spark over the internet. So you've got to keep looking until someone gives you a chance to create that spark in person. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 1:37:41 PM | I feel women cannot be generalized and I am sure men wouldn't want to be generalized either. I feel the problem is how a person defines a relationship. Long term to one person can mean something else to someone else. I can say I know what I want and its just a matter of finding someone with a similar mentality as me. I am learning through this site and dating that I want someone who can make time. it seems that people play the "busy card" and act as being busy means they are important.
when it reality any type of growing relationship takes time and if you don't have it to give or just don't want to then what you want in a person meaningless without the possibility of growth and effort. So I think if I had to generalize women I feel we want to see effort . But I do feel both should put effort not just the guy doing all the work. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 1:43:47 PM | Gotta love these recurring "I'm so nice but can't get responses" posts!
To answer the question OP, A woman wants what she wants ... period! They are all different and you just can't generalize.
Not to mention that what she looks for in an online profile can be very different from what she responds to in the world - for many different reasons. You also have to take into account the fact that our profiles often just don't do justice to the real "live and in person" experience we actually bring to the table. On here we get a few pics and a few paragraphs to describe ourselves and with so many others to choose from - we just can't or don't always stand out enough to catch their eye! Competition is a biatch - but it is part of life so the only answer there is to either compete or withdraw! Tune the profile, correct the spelling and grammer, and keep on trying! Anything less only leaves you in the same place you are now.
The problem is you can't create a spark over the internet. So you've got to keep looking until someone gives you a chance to create that spark in person.
Eric3001 - you hit the nail dead center. You can't do more than correspond on here. Until someone gives you that chance, the spark doesn't kindle. Far too many on here find reasons to reject without allowing that chance. Again, for many different reasons. It starts with the "view the pic and profile - not up to my standards" attitude. And it can go in many directions from there - some just won't take the chance. But it is just a fact of internet dating so it has to be taken in stride. All you can do is keep looking for someone who will give you that chance.
Cheers | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 6:50:46 PM |
tell me why you constantly here of guys taking out women more than once, and these women drive fancy cars and have the latest fashions and they talk about how they are always traveling from one exotic place to another, yet they never once offer to pick up the tab or even split it?
Just because you drive a fancy car and have the latest fashions, doesnt necessarily mean you are that successful. That is why so many people have their credit cards maxed out!! In fact, it is likely the ones who are more modest in those areas that really have their act together. They are the ones with a solid home, a financial plan, are conservative around spending, but spend it on the right things...AND are not shy about picking up the tab when they are really with someone that means something to them.
Flashy cars. bling and a designer wardrobe are the trappings and bait of gold diggers. I'm surprised guys havent figured this out yet!! Then again, many guys cant resist the arm candy!
AND....there are women who have it all....and are successful, kind, generous, reciprocal and authentic. If you come looking for one of us, you better have your act together. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:53:05 PM |
AND are not shy about picking up the tab when they are really with someone that means something to them.
And I am glad you brought that up. So if the guy means something to them, then they would pick up the tab sometimes, meaning if the guy doesn't mean much to them, they let the guy pay. I guess thats also the reason they continue to see that same guy for numerous times. The guy doesn't mean enough to them for them to want to offer to pay but he means enough to get a free meal.
And to the person who made the comment about affording coffee, we're not talking about coffee. Not sure where most of you live, but do you know how much a dinner for two and then other activities costs these days?
To repeat myself, I have no trouble or second thoughts about paying for a woman that means something to me and I careabout, my focus here is on those that simply use guys for free meals when they have no intent on even liking the guy.
So please don't insult our intelligence here with saying they have all that stuff on credit cards cause someone has to make big payments on those credit cards, and those car payments and the mortgage for that Winter Park/Windermere/Dr Phillips home, which probably is being paid for by the poor ex husband anyway.
Always this contant bickering about equal right for women in the workplace and everywhere else, except when it's inconvinient for the woman to do so.
And lets note, we are aware of deadbeat dads and con men that have vicitmized women, we're not talking about them. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:15:37 PM | So surprised to see the cynicism among all you men. I know we (women) are complicated, but that is a two way street. The bottom line is that we are all just trying to find some happiness. Everyone has a different idea of what that encompasses. Whether we admit it or not we all kinda have our own internal check list of what works for us. Therefore no one here can define what you should focus on. Just be yourself and hope that you find the woman that is your complement.
If you aren't getting responses to your emails, it may have a lot to do with what they say. I would definitely check the spelling and grammar and make sure you are not too assertive. Humor is something you need to be cautious of....it can come off as obnoxious sometimes.
Just keep throwing that line out there....eventually someone will bite!  | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 12:19:26 AM | | I think you should take sites like this not so seriously, i see it as a something to do other then the usual , you know checking out porn sites what else. If i find someone interesting here that i connect with that's a plus, if not then so be it. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 3:36:20 AM |
I guess thats also the reason they continue to see that same guy for numerous times.
Who continues to see someone that is meaningless to them?? If you dont float my boat, I am not going to waste my precious time hanging out with you just to get a free meal. Those that dont value their time or have nothing else better to do might do that.... too bad you cant weed out the sucklings and find a woman with integrity and strong values.
As I have said before.....the law of attraction is in play, some guys might want to take a look at what they are putting out there.
Secretagent...you seem convinced a woman like this doesnt exist...so it begs the question....why are you on a dating site?? This goes for all the other cynical men who seems to think every woman is a gold digging, free meal seeking, divorcee in the making, b1tch. Why bother? | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 4:33:47 AM |
Secretagent...you seem convinced a woman like this doesnt exist...so it begs the question....why are you on a dating site?? This goes for all the other cynical men who seems to think every woman is a gold digging, free meal seeking, divorcee in the making, b1tch. Why bother?
Golfgirl I think you're my new hero mama. I wholeheartedly concur with ALL of your posts! And I agree--Secretagent, for every positive comment she makes, you continue to feed off the negative. Don't you realize it's THAT attitude that makes a woman stop and go why should I pick him? There's absolutely nothing to be gained by constantly considering women golddiggers is there? Truly, if you believe all women are that way you're not going to get any woman who is worthwhile.
Women want what they want...the guy who said that--high five man!! Every woman on POF will tell you what she wants and yet some of you will STILL say something negative!!
We want positive, confident men at any and all financial levels. For the men who constantly go on and on about golddiggers, please explain why so many women will and DO date broke ass men????
Come on guys--you've got to stop asking what do women want and worry about what ONE womAn wants. You can't be all things to all women so be yourself and the right woman will be interested. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 4:53:33 AM | I will buy my own dang coffee thanks!!!.....oh wait wrong thread 
Holy he// batman!!! How did we go from "what do women want" to the entitled princesses thing geesh! As a woman the first and foremost thing l want is the damn finger pointing gender war thing to stop!!! I find more and more the men l meet are coming into our meets with such a crap attitude expecting me to be like "all the other women" they've met that it ends up turning me off. I am sooo tired of it.
What do l want? l want to meet someone who has no more expectations of me than to get to know who l am and see if we would like to do it again (another date l mean)...why does everything have to be so bloody well all or nothing?
For every one of the threads posted about "what do women want" there is another one posted about "what do men want".....why the heck is it we can't figure this out? | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 5:02:01 AM | | The age-old question. Women want mant things from one man. Men want the same thing from many women. The reason the women all show us their teets is because they think that is all we want when in reality they have not much else to offer. I can hear the ranting from them now. The reason their profiles all say what they want not what they have to offer us is becuase we have conditioned them to believe all they need do is show up with teets. I think we should stop being so needy and maybe they'd need us and actually respond to our inquiries and persue us once in a while other than because we advertise ourselves as handsome doctors with a Ferrari. That is what they all want. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 1:28:55 PM |
Secretagent...you seem convinced a woman like this doesnt exist...so it begs the question....why are you on a dating site?? This goes for all the other cynical men who seems to think every woman is a gold digging, free meal seeking, divorcee in the making, b1tch. Why bother?
Ah yes, but of course. When you encounter a man that has the balls to stand up to the BS that goes on we are asked why are we here.
Who continues to see a guy that is meanigless to them? You tell me. Seems to be happening all the time.
Laws of attraction in play. Yes once again we here that term. So many of you constantly pointing out how it must be what we are writing in our messages that is th ereason guys dont get responses, but riddle me this Batman, when you see your messages comeing up as "unread deleted" then how can it be what we wrote when obviously its not even being read? It's basically the shallow looks thing, period. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 1:40:51 PM | | Since it's free ,they can pick and choose and can wait forever for their proverbial prince charming. But on other dating sites due to the fact that they have to pay, they might be persuaded to move faster . | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 1:59:36 PM | Money - charisma - looks - a reciprocated interest - values... in that order
This is kind of contradicting to your handle isn't it? | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 2:33:26 PM | For myself I do want a man that is intelligent, has common sense, is honest and loyal. I need one that is wise enough to know that if he hurts me physically or emotionally my pain will keep me from wanting to make love to him. I'm not looking for perfection, but a man that I can give myself and my love to. One that I can try to match happiness for happiness.
Now what I see in the forums are a lot of men and women attacking each other because they want acceptance for who they are right now. Yet neither is willing to compromise. Those are the people doomed to be disappointed. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 4:03:21 PM | Nope! You are absolutely incorrect!!! I and many men have TRIED to be "all things to all women" if that is what you are saying. In other words, we have been edgy, we have been nice, have pushed the envelope, have expressed the "I don't give a dang" attitude,
the I am strong and indenpendant, well I can think for myself, blah, blah, blah. Didn't make ANY difference...........does not matter. Spin the wheel or roll the dice to see which "attitude" a male will use/try. The end results are always the same---NO DATE!! | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 4:44:02 PM | | LOL. I do recall from my earlier days in the church that even King Solomon, allegedly one of the wisest men of all times, did not know what women are really looking for, or more appropriately maybe he just did not understand them, even though he had many wives. Honestly, I am neither asserting nor denying the accuracy or otherwise of any biblical account. But some women know what they really want better than others do. And some women say for various reasons that they want certain things when in reality they refuse to state what they really want. While other women think they know what they want until they start doubting their own thoughts and desires, so that they then become unsure. Life was not meant to be a struggle, but it certainly was not meant to be easy either. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 7:15:12 PM |
Nope! You are absolutely incorrect!!! I and many men have TRIED to be "all things to all women" if that is what you are saying. In other words, we have been edgy, we have been nice, have pushed the envelope, have expressed the "I don't give a dang" attitude,
the I am strong and indenpendant, well I can think for myself, blah, blah, blah. Didn't make ANY difference...........does not matter. Spin the wheel or roll the dice to see which "attitude" a male will use/try. The end results are always the same---NO DATE!!
Maybe if you stopped trying on personalities like the rest of us try on shoes, maybe if you'd just be yourself, you'd meet the woman who really wants you. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 7:52:27 PM | I think women are looking once again for Looks, attitude, and a good talker. I have gone out and been nice, positive, and assertive. Where did it get me? No where! I have heard this so many times.....Your a lot of fun to hang with, but i'm not attracted to you. My reply is there is more to someone then a pretty face. Some of these people need to take a look in the mirror.. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 8:42:16 PM | | Hang in there dude. It's frustrating, we all know. Especially when you have 50-something year old hags giving you a hard time as they are not attracted to you. There are some mighty sexy women in their 50's but some can be scary yet still act as if they are Gods gift. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 8:47:26 PM |
For myself I do want a man that is intelligent, has common sense, is honest and loyal. I need one that is wise enough to know that if he hurts me physically or emotionally my pain will keep me from wanting to make love to him. I'm not looking for perfection, but a man that I can give myself and my love to. One that I can try to match happiness for happiness.
Whats ironic about this is that so many women make this exact claim, and also add that they are not like the rest of the women, yet the bottom line is they still wont even acknowledge a guy like you describe unless he looks hot in his pictures.
And the part about the guys that hurt you? That would explain why so many women go back to their abusive ex's time after time.
I think guys compromise a whole lot than given credit for. Women that only respond to guys with hot pics is not what I call compromising. | |
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| What are women really looking for?
Posted: 4/24/2009 8:59:33 PM | | Well this isn't the profile review forum but I'll make a go at it. Yes, some people do discriminate, even, in rare cases, against their own race, but there are plenty of people here who don't, and you should be getting at least some hits from those people. In your case, you need a good, clear profile picture. | |
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