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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > How to measure your D ick the correct way..      Home login  
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 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 101
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How to measure your D ick the correct way..Page 5 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

My ex spouse told me his major curve was due to all the hard ons he got at school, thus he had to push it some place, which was usually to the left... After that it just ended up with a curve to the left...


LOL!! As a high schooler, I used to try to push it down, and in some inebriated moments, I did offer that reason for the curve, but even then, I knew it was bullshyt. And the poster above who reshaped his with his left hand, kinda like throwing a clay pot, pretty much falls into the same category, I think. Lol.

NT, they do bunch up to the bod when it's too cold, or somebody scares the shyt outta us, but reentry to that canal is kinda like a man's returning to the womb, imo. They've grown since they first emerged. I do remember that boomerang song! LOL. Always thought he was singing about his inability to work the tool rather than the tool itself malfunctioning. But I took heart from a an old Judy Collins song about a guy who fumbled/bumbled with everything, but all the women luuurrrvvved him.
 12.21.2012
Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 102
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How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/19/2009 5:44:27 PM
Um, I thought it was funny. Maybe OP should include a disclaimer:

WARNING: For entertainment purposes only. This thread is not meant to treat, diagnose or cure any disease.

It was entertaining, and brings up a very real issue that I would imagine bothers the s*** out of a lot of woman.

(Okay including the "Short" lyrics may be a little bit over the top... )
 adventurousme57
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 103
How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/19/2009 6:35:37 PM
[Statistically I'm bigger then 75% of all men. I know this because 3 of my last 4 girlfriends ended up telling me that I was "the biggest d!ck they know." ]

LOL!!! This was the best post yet! Made me think of my ex-boyfriend...
 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 104
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How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/19/2009 7:12:52 PM
I have lied about my size, I have said it's 5 inches when soft. No one but me has ever actually measured it. I would rather have them guess. Actually one woman measured it with her hand, it was pretty obvious, she must have inches marked on her hand. She said it's __inches and she was right.
 daydreamer57
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 105
How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/20/2009 4:07:03 AM
SOME....have no life....WA>>>WA>>>WA
 NonRespondersSuck
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 106
How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/20/2009 9:08:45 AM
Whoever wrote that misandrous nonsense should shave her hair and drink from the furry cup ..... man-hating feminist BS!
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 107
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How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/20/2009 10:59:25 AM
My poor average penis is not enough manliness to satisfy other average women.
 Lostfrog
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 108
How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/20/2009 12:21:43 PM
oh wow! this is just so educational lol, and so damn funny too x
 Honcho
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 109
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How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/20/2009 12:53:09 PM
I guess I am just one of the blessed! No brags, just fact. Measurements confidential.
 Zuglo
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 110
How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 4:41:59 AM
You might have a small d1ck if---
She points, laughs hysterically when you have your pants around your ankle.
She says-Go ahead, take me, AFTER you put it in.
She has to press her forehead to your stomach to give you a BJ.
She uses the word -Oh, how cute!
And finally, and I stole this from another thread..The condom comes off!!!
 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 111
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How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 7:39:06 AM
Average is okay, but who really wants average or to be average? Average is just boring. Athletes are not average, super models are not average, pornstars are not average, huge boobs are not average, tall people are not average, extremely intelligent or wealthy people are not average. Average is boring, that's the reason people measure everything. People get excited by the extraordinary.
How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:47:52 AM
O.o Uhhhh wow she knows ALOT! Way too much I think.
 xzanthius
Joined: 9/28/2004
Msg: 113
How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 9:42:01 AM
I'd rather be exceptional for reasons other than the size of my penis, which I am proud to say is pretty much utterly average.
 No1 Likes Me
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 114
How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 11:42:46 AM
I think my one is small. Just under 5 inches standing up.
 fishmuskie
Joined: 12/17/2008
Msg: 115
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How to measure .....
Posted: 4/21/2009 12:16:22 PM
well, you know what they say ... even a battleship looks small in the ocean.

i'm sure there are plenty of guys that exaggerate when it comes to mentioning the size of their guy. But i have never seen a woman mention, or even want to talk about the size of her v agina. So maybe the OP just needs to be upfront and say in her profile. "Need a well hung dude, must be as big around as a beer can and as long as a cucumber" .. that ought to solve her dilema of posers....
 WhereIsElvis
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 116
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How to measure .....
Posted: 4/21/2009 1:01:46 PM
I tried measuring mine once standing up using a wood ruler. Wanting to get an accurate measurement, I gently lowered 'Phil (fill)' parallel to the floor from full salute status. As I confidently placed the ruler on to the extended appendage, the door to my bedroom was hastily opened by my mother....completely shocked, I lost my grip and Phil sprung back up to full attention. The ruler flew up into the air like it was shot out of a cannon and struck me in the eye. My mother, standing there in amazement shook her head and said, "I told you, you would go blind if you kept playing with it."
I was 36 at the time......
 hudson46
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 117
How to measure ....
Posted: 4/21/2009 1:12:11 PM
Don't believe the myth, lol
 augustapeach
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 118
How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 1:39:09 PM
ok i got a ? i reason met someone on pof who told me how big he was 7 inches and 1/4 im like no problem thats fine well he said he was thick but omg it didnt curve it went straight down ill tell you best sex every had but omg it hurt like a witch
 augustapeach
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 119
How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 1:54:29 PM
my ? which i forgot to ask is this once we got this big thing from another planet does the vagina go back in it shape or does this strech you out i have heard guys say they have met women that needed two x4s to get in it so i was wondering
 kthyg
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 120
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How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 4:21:34 PM
The vagina does not stretch out and refuse to go back into shape. You can lose muscle tone if you don't excercise it properly though. There is no real way to measure a vagina as it is meant to expand and contract so it's hard to say "mine is this long and this wide". Remember, these things are meant to have enough give in them to pass a baby through. I can tell you that I am longer than average because my doctor tells me that I am long and narrow when she does my annual exam. It makes the exam difficult. I can tell how tight I am by my partners reactions. That's pretty much how we women have to judge.
 xzanthius
Joined: 9/28/2004
Msg: 121
How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 5:33:45 PM
I just bounce a laser of the tip and multiply the amount of time it takes to comeback by the speed of light... I know that I'd have to be in a vacuum for an accurate measure as I just can't be bothered to account for atmospheric distortions but some things are better estimated anyways.
 ava-adore
Joined: 10/21/2008
Msg: 122
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How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 5:59:45 PM
LMAO...true say
 Dean Moriarty
Joined: 2/7/2007
Msg: 123
How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/25/2009 9:19:09 AM
Mine is 8 1/2 inches long and that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Please, don't turn the lights on, ok?
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 124
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How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/25/2009 9:35:55 AM
I'm 9" from base to tip, and that is NOT measuring from the base of my balls lol.

Be interested to try the "length tests". Already know I easily fit through a toilet paper roll lol.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 125
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How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/25/2009 9:45:02 AM
the correct way to measure......is the throat test
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