| How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/19/2009 5:33:51 PM |
My ex spouse told me his major curve was due to all the hard ons he got at school, thus he had to push it some place, which was usually to the left... After that it just ended up with a curve to the left...
LOL!! As a high schooler, I used to try to push it down, and in some inebriated moments, I did offer that reason for the curve, but even then, I knew it was bullshyt.  And the poster above who reshaped his with his left hand, kinda like throwing a clay pot, pretty much falls into the same category, I think. Lol.
NT, they do bunch up to the bod when it's too cold, or somebody scares the shyt outta us, but reentry to that canal is kinda like a man's returning to the womb, imo. They've grown since they first emerged. I do remember that boomerang song! LOL. Always thought he was singing about his inability to work the tool rather than the tool itself malfunctioning. But I took heart from a an old Judy Collins song about a guy who fumbled/bumbled with everything, but all the women luuurrrvvved him.
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| How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/19/2009 5:44:27 PM | Um, I thought it was funny. Maybe OP should include a disclaimer:
WARNING: For entertainment purposes only. This thread is not meant to treat, diagnose or cure any disease.
It was entertaining, and brings up a very real issue that I would imagine bothers the s*** out of a lot of woman.
(Okay including the "Short" lyrics may be a little bit over the top... ) | |
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| How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/19/2009 6:35:37 PM | [Statistically I'm bigger then 75% of all men. I know this because 3 of my last 4 girlfriends ended up telling me that I was "the biggest d!ck they know." ]
LOL!!! This was the best post yet! Made me think of my ex-boyfriend... | |
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| How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/19/2009 7:12:52 PM | | I have lied about my size, I have said it's 5 inches when soft. No one but me has ever actually measured it. I would rather have them guess. Actually one woman measured it with her hand, it was pretty obvious, she must have inches marked on her hand. She said it's __inches and she was right. | |
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| How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 4:41:59 AM | You might have a small d1ck if---
She points, laughs hysterically when you have your pants around your ankle.
She says-Go ahead, take me, AFTER you put it in.
She has to press her forehead to your stomach to give you a BJ.
She uses the word -Oh, how cute!
And finally, and I stole this from another thread..The condom comes off!!! | |
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| How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 7:39:06 AM | | Average is okay, but who really wants average or to be average? Average is just boring. Athletes are not average, super models are not average, pornstars are not average, huge boobs are not average, tall people are not average, extremely intelligent or wealthy people are not average. Average is boring, that's the reason people measure everything. People get excited by the extraordinary. | |
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| How to measure .....
Posted: 4/21/2009 12:16:22 PM | well, you know what they say ... even a battleship looks small in the ocean.
i'm sure there are plenty of guys that exaggerate when it comes to mentioning the size of their guy. But i have never seen a woman mention, or even want to talk about the size of her v agina. So maybe the OP just needs to be upfront and say in her profile. "Need a well hung dude, must be as big around as a beer can and as long as a cucumber" .. that ought to solve her dilema of posers.... | |
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| How to measure .....
Posted: 4/21/2009 1:01:46 PM | I tried measuring mine once standing up using a wood ruler. Wanting to get an accurate measurement, I gently lowered 'Phil (fill)' parallel to the floor from full salute status. As I confidently placed the ruler on to the extended appendage, the door to my bedroom was hastily opened by my mother....completely shocked, I lost my grip and Phil sprung back up to full attention. The ruler flew up into the air like it was shot out of a cannon and struck me in the eye. My mother, standing there in amazement shook her head and said, "I told you, you would go blind if you kept playing with it."
I was 36 at the time...... | |
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| How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 1:39:09 PM | | ok i got a ? i reason met someone on pof who told me how big he was 7 inches and 1/4 im like no problem thats fine well he said he was thick but omg it didnt curve it went straight down ill tell you best sex every had but omg it hurt like a witch | |
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| How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 1:54:29 PM | | my ? which i forgot to ask is this once we got this big thing from another planet does the vagina go back in it shape or does this strech you out i have heard guys say they have met women that needed two x4s to get in it so i was wondering | |
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| How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 4:21:34 PM | | The vagina does not stretch out and refuse to go back into shape. You can lose muscle tone if you don't excercise it properly though. There is no real way to measure a vagina as it is meant to expand and contract so it's hard to say "mine is this long and this wide". Remember, these things are meant to have enough give in them to pass a baby through. I can tell you that I am longer than average because my doctor tells me that I am long and narrow when she does my annual exam. It makes the exam difficult. I can tell how tight I am by my partners reactions. That's pretty much how we women have to judge. | |
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| How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/21/2009 5:33:45 PM | | I just bounce a laser of the tip and multiply the amount of time it takes to comeback by the speed of light... I know that I'd have to be in a vacuum for an accurate measure as I just can't be bothered to account for atmospheric distortions but some things are better estimated anyways. | |
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| How to measure your D ick the correct way..
Posted: 4/25/2009 9:35:55 AM | I'm 9" from base to tip, and that is NOT measuring from the base of my balls lol.
Be interested to try the "length tests". Already know I easily fit through a toilet paper roll lol. | |
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