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Posted: 7/1/2009 4:22:13 PM | | intimate encounters doesnt mean a woman wants sex on the first date but no doubt maybe the third what about woman who say they are not looking for a intimate encounter does she not ever want sex | |
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| Adult Dating Sites and Intimate Encounters
Posted: 7/1/2009 6:59:39 PM | | Who cares what anyone else thinks or chooses?!? If it is something that you choose to include in your life so be it! You have to be happy within yourself and never regret your choices no matter what others think or say! | |
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Posted: 7/1/2009 8:45:46 PM | | Signed up for AFF. Didn't actually hook up with anyone from there, but got a few nibbles. Felt like a piece of meat, a machine. Want a bit more warmth than that created by friction. Hence, I'm here-! | |
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Posted: 7/2/2009 9:36:45 PM | I was also quizical to this when I first joined POF. SO I chose one, "Dating". I don't want to date forever, but I chose it and explained why in my profile,
I chose the "Dating" category because that's what we are doing here. We date, in hopes of meeting the right person to settle down with, eventually, "Long Term".
If you are afraid you are going to be misunderstood in your choice, explain it. It's that easy.
If a person is looking for an intimate encounter, in my eyes they are seeking a sexual partner, but that is my definition of it. I am sure others have a totally different out look in which things are stated. | |
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Posted: 7/14/2009 10:38:46 AM | Maybe the failure of my marriage was the sex, he could never get an errection or keep it up, he could never get me to climax and I often told him what I liked and he refused. Since our divorce I have had a few intimate encounters and the men I have been with had no problems getting me to climax. He made me feel it was my fault, NO. He was the one that had the headaches, not me.  | |
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Posted: 7/14/2009 10:45:05 AM | | Most women were not raised to have intimate encounters on the first date, we were raised to be good girls. I love sex but I want it with the right person and when the time is right. Why would any decent woman want to be treated like a prostitute? NO THANKS! | |
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Posted: 7/14/2009 11:37:02 AM | Everytime you see a "survey" like this, women seem to convey that men are "sex crazed" ect. First, do the math. Unless these "sex crazed" men are gay, who are they having sex with? Thats right! A woman! Thus mathmatical PROOF that screwing around is 50/50. Second. there have been posts about masturbation and I was surprized to learn that women, of all ages, masturbate frequently. So it REALLY turns out that women screw around equally as much as men and, like men, play with themselves frequently. Turns out the only thing women do differenly sexually than men, is "under estimate" their involvement!
If you study biology, you already know it is the FEMALE who strays in bird flocks, monkey packs, etc. It is done to get a better mix of genes and prevent inbreeding in the pack. So it is the woman, who is programmed by nature, to instigate "fooling around." And us poor guys get blamed when we succomb to your "natures ways." | |
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| Adult Dating Sites and Intimate Encounters
Posted: 7/14/2009 11:49:56 AM | There is obviously a use for these sites since they are being used. Perhaps its a better alternative than someone drunkenly picking up a stranger in a bar. I suppose you have to weigh risks and rewards just as you would with anything else in life.
And no, men and women both stray ted61. Women perhaps don't talk about it as much or choose people who are wise enough to keep their mouths shut. Men might like to share with their buddies, or meet one of the their other women in public... risky in getting caught I would think. | |
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Posted: 7/14/2009 2:00:32 PM | | I have had experience with such sites and with the swinging world in general and i can tell you there is very little difference there from anywhere else. There are some scurvy types there but some who are really quite nice just like here and at Target and Kroger and Kmart and church. Humans are what they are no matter where you find them. Anyone who thinks women are not capable and very willing to indulge needs to go to a swingers club and see them in action. They will absolutely pile up on each other and almost reach a point of being a turn off with their no limits actions. not all do this but most seem to. Contrary to popular belief a person can be part of that world to some degree and also be an intelligent interesting, caring, loving, fun in other ways type. I have tried for years to meeta woman who can be all those things in a stable long term relationship but it`s very difficult to do with the swinger part of it being the easiest to find. Yes you can have lots of fun in that world but you must assume you will meet some idiots just like everywhere else you`ll go today. It`s most enjoyable though with a partner who is open minded and not jealous and of course you would need to be the same. | |
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| Adult Dating Sites and Intimate Encounters
Posted: 9/27/2009 5:29:50 AM | I listed myself under Intimate Encounter because it seemed to be the category that would fit my circumstances...I am not single, not married. I have been in a long term "live-in" relationship that has passed its prime in the sexual arena.
The thought of trolling in a bar for sexual fulfillment is as appetizing as root canal for me.
I do not want multiple partners, I was looking for one person who I could occationally get together with and explore the various fantasies that come into my head on a more regular basis than ever.
The criteria is pretty simple, someone who I can feel secure with, has their own place, (mine is out of the question) geographically desirable, must live alone and a person who is as concerned about my "well being" as I am theirs.
I thought this would be the perfect avenue to take. I still think it may be. I would be open to any suggestions to my profile that any of you can make . I have a photo but I am not so quick to release it to someone who just communicates just a "Hi" to me.
Is there a proper protocol for releasing photos when your listed for "intimate Encounter" ...I dont think my criteria is too narrow when it involves my safety, I would be curious as to what other women think on that. Thanks | |
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Posted: 9/27/2009 9:35:15 AM | Yes, I see that it *is* a lot the same in "normal" dating" and in swinging. Even in the swinging world there are double standards.
almost reach a point of being a turn off with their no limits actions. not all do this but most seem to.
To me, "swinging" is just multiple FWBs. I dated a swinger for a while (ironically, left the relationship because the sex was so bad! No, *I* wasn't "playing"). I still have a few friends who self-identify as swingers. It just means they are married and want to f*ck others, as far as I can tell. It doesn't make them "bad", just makes them outside the norm--and so far outside I wouldn't go there. The one that pisses me off is the guy who "plays", yet his wife doesn't know about it (most are swinging couples). I counselled him to tell her. His reasoning is he wants to stay married, but figures he'll just wait around doing what he wants (she won't have sex with him) until HE doesn't want to have sex any more, either--then he'll still have his marriage.
Nope, I don't understand it, either. But it makes sense in HIS head. | |
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Posted: 9/27/2009 10:45:20 AM | Every guy I met on here, so far, is looking for sex. I don't get it... there're specific sites for adult encounters.. so go there! My profile states exactly what I'm looking for, and I'm getting tired of the bate and switch (I'm a good guy looking for LT relationship.....by the way, can we Fvck now) some men are pulling.  | |
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Posted: 9/27/2009 9:34:16 PM |
Most women were not raised to have intimate encounters on the first date, we were raised to be good girls. I love sex but I want it with the right person and when the time is right. Why would any decent woman want to be treated like a prostitute? NO THANKS!
Most women???
this man is not of the background, mindset, or intent to have an "intimate encounter" on the first date. While I think sex/intimate encounter is a laudable and highly desirable goal lets not put the cart afore the horse.
When I start dating again, if'n my head don't explode first in this new paradigm, I can assure you that I WILL be seeking an intimate encounter. But in so seeking I am not about to put the cart before the horse (or jack-ass).
TK
{not gonna start pushin' rope either} | |
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Posted: 9/28/2009 12:16:19 PM | Cottontre,
My profile states exactly what I'm looking for, and I'm getting tired of the bate and switch (I'm a good guy looking for LT relationship.....by the way, can we Fvck now) some men are pulling.
Well, here's the thing -- and it's not just a west michigan thing, either....
1. Don't take a guy open to hooking up on the first date to mean he isn't that into you... not the best route to forge an LT relationship, but hey, sometimes it's like a fat kid eying a steak -- can't help himself. Plus, your main focus isn't LT on your profile, so he can figure that you may be more open about things.
2. If his idea of a 'first date' is for you to come over to his place at night, yeah, then he's just looking for that.
3. A guy could be genuinely looking for LT ideally, but for you -- just the dessert isle while he's looking for "the one". It's never LT only for all people. One can find someone else fun & attractive, but not be a match for the long-term relationship, but still want to have fun with them.
4. You could be paying attention to the wrong guys. There are plenty of guys who wouldn't suggest to hook up on the first date or 2nd date... but you may not be interested in those types, hence a quagmire. Also, you may be putting out vibes that gets the sexual tension going, and he can't help himself but to make suggestions about going back to his place to "make out" early on. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2009 8:12:19 PM | Eastsidelady1 writes:
" The thought of trolling in a bar for sexual fulfillment is as appetizing as root canal for me.
I do not want multiple partners, I was looking for one person who I could occationally get together with"
Sounds like you're looking for a friend w/benefits rather than just an intimate encounter. I think you should mention that in your profile. And put the emphasis on "Friends first".
I don't see anything else you can do to make your profile any more attractive than it already is though. And I can't blame you for email blocking the under 55 crowd. You'd never be able to sort through all that.
The only other thing I can suggest... we all have to accept a root canal at times. Although finding what you're looking for in a bar will be like looking for a needle in a haystack. You can spot 'em though by the facial grimace. They're getting a root canal too. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2009 8:55:29 PM | Eastsidelady,
The thought of trolling in a bar for sexual fulfillment is as appetizing as root canal for me.
But trolling a website is appetizing? You said you were on here for Intimate Encounter -- that means booty call, not FWB (but it could of course mature into that). Either way, you're "trolling" for sexual fulfillment... but it's more appetizing for you online.
Stumbled In (above poster), I think she's just turned off by "the bar", and think it's dirty. Like all establishments are the same and carry the same crowd, right? lol Both "the internet" and "the bar" can have "dirty" associations. | |
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Posted: 9/28/2009 9:20:58 PM | Lots of people mostly me look for something intimately pleasurable with someone so this is the reason to enjoy these sites. A man could easily get a hooker or stripper or escort but what is the point? You only get to come and the fun is over, you don't get to pleasure the woman you are with, probably don't get to orgasm more than once unless you pay more, so it's not simply a matter of getting serviced, I would meet one of those women if that's all I want, morals and money is not an issue.
Granted, many will meet a woman on the sites just to serve themselves and these guys spoil it all, and lots of men are in it for their own pleasure first but it has to involve his partner's all the same. For me it's not worth it if it's only about myself, women who trust, share themselves and take the time to meet and know you are women, not prostitutes. | |
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Posted: 9/29/2009 7:23:56 AM |
Stumbled In (above poster), I think she's just turned off by "the bar", and think it's dirty.
Maybe so. But I got the impression that it's just the social atmosphere of a crowd who's senses are altered (sometimes to the point of being obnoxious) were the turn off. And I can relate to that. After my early stage in life, I realized I wasn't missing a thing by passing up the bar scene. Even so, it can still be a place to meet someone special if you can stomach the process of spotting the needle in the haystack. I agree though, some haystacks have needles and some haystacks don't. | |
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Posted: 9/29/2009 9:56:08 AM | Stumbled In,
There are definitely bars that fit your description in which it's very understandable why people would not want to go there. But I will say, saying "the bar" is almost like saying "the internet". There are many places, different crowds, etc. Not all are packed wall-to-wall (needles in haystacks), not all are "clubs", and not all are redneck dives.
Of course, here, with the ratio of guys-to-girls being what it is, the competition is pretty fierce. Any particular guy in a populated area within 50 miles is a needle in a large haystack... Online will allow -you- to find a gal who may fit the special-someone description at first phase... but then again, if she is special, there's a lot of guys mixed in, and you're likely to be buried in paperwork if the timing wasn't coincidentally on the nose, or there's something that stands out about a first-glance look that personally strikes a chord with. | |
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Posted: 9/29/2009 10:12:18 AM | You know what... Men should not want sex. Women should not want sex. Sex is to make babies.
Men who want sex should be sent to hell in straight jackets. Women should see to it.
Joking aside,
I applaud men who go to sex sites and search for sex there. On the other hand, I have no respect and no sympathy for any guy who messes women around only to loot the booty.
Men who want sex and are clear about it and straight-forward about it with a consenting woman should not be judged, unless women like to taken for a ride pun and no pun intended. | |
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Posted: 9/30/2009 9:35:32 AM | | Yea I think you have a point including the "friend with benefits" idea..guess I should go back and reword my profile...thanks for the advice I do appreciate it.. | |
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Posted: 9/30/2009 1:21:45 PM | | Personally i think it all comes down to the individuals interpretation of the word. when on this site all i am saying if wanting an intimate encounter is that I want a relationship that will include sex in it. now what is the problem with that. If one assumes that dating means someone wants a relationship without sex. i think it is just being honest and not necessarily means that you are purely looking for sex. I just think people need to discuss what they are looking for a little more before jumping to conclusions and think many people on this site are being blocked needlessly. | |
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Posted: 10/1/2009 9:55:06 PM | | I am startin to think we are damned if we do and damned if we dont.....I am smiling, Life isnt bad but I thought it would be different than this..I suppose I couldnt be the only one... | |
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