| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 9:52:28 AM | | I've read that a lot of supposedly "bi" men aren't really bi. They just like the attention/adulation they get from guys, while not having to give much in return. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 10:05:25 AM |
After many years of unsatisfying sex he admitted to me that he had been with other men in his past and thought he might be bi-sexual.
Might be... MIGHT BE??? CHELLLLLOOOOOO You're at the very least Bi if not full on GAY!!!
My nephew who is gay told me all it takes is a six pack of beer, him and any so-called horny hetero male and ....well, sex would happen.
Oh really?? How fascinating. Not the dudes I hang around with. When we get tipsy the women start to look better but never EVER a dude. I find your Nephew to be a misinformed gay dreamer... living in his world where every man is a pillow biter. Dream on little man, dream on.
I find this whole topic funny and I hope you're kidding. I think the vast majority of men do not secretly want a penis in his mouth, one in his a$$... or man juice anywhere near their person. Take it to the bank. If there are men like that... they don't hang around me. Thankfully. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 10:27:01 AM | Wild Heart:
I know that some men do react to homosexuality with hostility. And I know that some men don't care. And I know that there are many reasons why a man or woman will not welcome advances from a person of the same sex, not all of them out of hostility or fear.
With some it may be out of concern of what one's family & friends may think, although that would probably just stop people from openly engaging in same-sex relations, just as social pressures stop people from being open about a number of activities they engage in. If one is married (and monogamous), being approached for sex by anyone other than the spouse would be offensive. Some people follow the dictates of their particular religion. Even if they view it as a perversion, that does not go hand-in-hand with hostility or fear, which are the terms I'm addressing.
But you admit that the sexual aspects wouldn't work for you:
I have thought about whether I would ever be gay myself and while it might work on an emotional level, sexually it would never work for me so there's my answer!
I didn't interpret that statement to mean that you are "homophobic," just that same-sex relations are not appealing to you. Men who would assault someone because of their sexuality have a problem...are a problem. But tolerance and acceptance are really two separate ideas, and acceptance is impossible to legislate.
I had a man living next door to me who is gay. I thought of him as a fine person and a great neighbor. I'd talk to him over the fence, I had been inside his house, and I'd run into him on the street or at events and we'd always talk. Our sexuality was never an issue between us because we knew where we stood. On the other hand, there were men I had to tell in much stronger terms that I am not gay because they would not accept that I wasn't interested in them. If there's a difference in how I would handle an unwanted advance from a woman as compared to a man, it's due more to chivalry toward the woman than hostility toward the man. Call me a sexist... | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 11:19:05 AM |
My nephew who is gay told me all it takes is a six pack of beer, him and any so-called horny hetero male and ....well, sex would happen.
Not true.
He has also told me about the hundreds of men who are married who come to him unknown to their wives of course.
That might be true to an extent. Don't forget that gay men may marry women just because it's socially acceptable.
Basically, if you're tired of getting involved with gay men, hang around a lot of gay men until your gaydar improves. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 12:59:03 PM | Urineinway:
This is exactly the type of comment I'm talking about which proves my point
Oh really?? How fascinating. Not the dudes I hang around with. When we get tipsy the women start to look better but never EVER a dude. I find your Nephew to be a misinformed gay dreamer... living in his world where every man is a pillow biter. Dream on little man, dream on.
I find this whole topic funny and I hope you're kidding. I think the vast majority of men do not secretly want a penis in his mouth, one in his a$$... or man juice anywhere near their person. Take it to the bank. If there are men like that... they don't hang around me. Thankfully.
Notice the tone? "they don't hang around me". There's machismo in that which many men take on when the discussion of homosexuality comes up. I've heard this machismo all the time.
There's a world of difference in that post vs AdamTaylor's or even your posts.
With some it may be out of concern of what one's family & friends may think, although that would probably just stop people from openly engaging in same-sex relations, just as social pressures stop people from being open about a number of activities they engage in.
They are taught by others who were "afraid" of homosexuality. Much like people used to be "afraid" of black people. I don't hear people making the same comments about a BDSM lifestyle as they do about homosexuality.
If one is married (and monogamous), being approached for sex by anyone other than the spouse would be offensive.
No, I would only be offended if they were aggressive. If they just approached, I told them I wasn't available, usually they say "oops, sorry" and walk away. If someone gets offended by that, that seems pretty bizarre to me. But some people get offended being asked for sex no matter if they are single or married. Maybe I'm just more easy going than some people.
There are still more people around who fear homosexuality than there are people like AdamTaylor and yourself. | |
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HenXX
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Joined: 3/2/2009
Msg: 56 | |
| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 3:49:01 PM | | I have a few gay male friends who have told me the very same thing,they have been with both married and straight guys.Most said that they were just curious and wanted to try it.I personally know of a man who has even shouted abuse at gay men because of their sexuality but he himself is bi!..........his reason for being with men? basically raw dirty sex(his words,not mine),his gf fulfils the loving,caring side.Like many women,she doesnt have a clue..........very sad. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 4:20:25 PM | "So, I really really wish I could find a man that only wants a woman, never thought about another man like that and never would, but now I am thinking this is not reality."
Trust me, it IS a reality | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 5:03:15 PM |
So, I really really wish I could find a man that only wants a woman, never thought about another man like that and never would, but now I am thinking this is not reality.
There are plenty of guys, like myself, who would never do anything with another dude. Just screen guys better if you want an exclusive hetero male. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 5:31:10 PM |
Just screen guys better if you want an exclusive hetero male.
If only it was just that easy!
Some men hide this part of themselves really well!
My g/f and her husband were married 18 years.......with a wonderful relationship.....a great sex life.....2 great kids.....blah blah blah.....
He asked for a divorce out of the blue......because he decided he didn't want to hide behind her anymore.....
Seems his once a month poker nights for the past 10 years had actually been nights he spent w/ his male lover.
Now unless she had been "spying" on him those nights......how was she to know?
From every outward appearance........he was as straight as an arrow. Attentive husband, wonderful lover, great father, avid sportsman, handy around the house.....u know......the typical "guy"....
Not one of our circle had a clue.......
It's very easy to blame "her" for not having this supposed "gaydar".....
but IMO.....folks need to stop w/ the double lives out of selfishness & fear. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 7:13:54 PM | I find this really odd that a woman would be asking this but, I will give my two cents. After my last relationship, I am all for it, man, think about, women bring ya down, and ya gotta ask yourself, if you was with a feller, have a little discussion go wrong, at least you can beat the FVCK out of his ass without have some midget cop with little boy syndrome slapping the cuffs on ya cause he wants to FVCK your sig. other.
KB | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 8:11:51 PM | luv n theory
Yours is a very fascinating post. It's my view that 90% of self-described straight men are oriented bisexually to varying degrees. Men are very sexual creatures to begin with, so it's not surprising that this might be the case.
I think that what you really need is a man who will be faithful to you. The key word is "faithful". Regardless of his orientation, he needs to be faithful to you and you alone. Again, the key to your happiness is to have a faithful man. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 8:35:32 PM | | my bf and i hooked up with a male gay couple. it turns out one of them is bisexual... it was the best anal sex i ever had...pain free in the beginning and just unspeakable pleasure afterward...the gay guy, on the other hand, got soft as soon as i touched him...LOL | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 10:34:09 PM | First of all get new men in your life because they are fools as far as I'm concerned;
I thought you lived in Florida or L.A. anyways......
I've been drunk and horny and if any man touches me I'd beat the crap out of him; tell the metrosexual men in your life to take off their Clay Aikens underroos and for them to do their thing but there are men that totally are not into other men.
Usually those that say what they say are gay or bi; I'm not into anal sex or some manicured up man touching me in any way. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/24/2009 10:36:26 PM |
my bf and i hooked up with a male gay couple. it turns out one of them is bisexual... it was the best anal sex i ever had...pain free in the beginning and just unspeakable pleasure afterward...the gay guy, on the other hand, got soft as soon as i touched him...LOL
WOW, how magical and no risk at all; lol
no wonder AIDS and STDS are sky rocketing again in the gay community | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/25/2009 2:54:57 AM | mthomjmark I was born in La. raised in Fla. Lived most of my life here as well. I have traveled in my work across the northern part of our country but not west (L.A.) as yet.
Plenty of guys have said they were not into men but I am glad to hear a man finally say he is NOT into anal sex. I have been waiting post after post to read these very words, simplistic and comforting. This means you enjoy the pure pleasures of a woman's...well nows not the time to be crude.....so nice to read though......thanks. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/25/2009 7:12:33 AM | Speaking from the standpoint of another woman who has had to go through a stomach turning event such as the OP has...I now whole-heartedly adore men who lean more toward being less tolerant of gay and bisexual men. I think that it is a very healthy sign when a man is uncomfortable around gay men. Thank God!! lol.
I can relate to that response: As a woman, I am comfortable with having gay men as FRIENDS. But honestly, I'd rather not have to sit too close to a lesbian, and I definately would not be comfortable with trying to have a close friendship with one. To me, that's normal. Is that so politically incorrect? It's not hate or even something learned. It goes against my genetic make-up! Just like people try to avoid foods that they are allergic too and which make them physically ill. Same principle. It's a genetic aversion. That's my two cents. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/25/2009 7:46:19 AM | Hi Luv n theory...
just in case you think you are missing something...
i think your theory is totally correct...and i have heard / seen many of the same things.
lately most of the guys i hook up with are starting to ask me to penetrate them...if you know what i mean.
there is so much homo-phobia out there...in my mind...sexuality is all a social construct anyway. geez, what difference could it possible make on which gender is giving pleasure? | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/25/2009 8:30:14 AM | Well speaking as a an occasionally Bi male I can say that I've never been with a straight man regardless of how drunk either of us was, and that there are many, many, bisexual men out there. Some have many lovers, some have occasional lovers, some have open loving relationships, but speaking from experience many are in the closet.
That these men felt comfortable enough to let you in on this side of their lives is a pretty big thing for them and maybe for you. It speaks pretty well of you that they felt close enough to you to let you in on their secret and maybe that is something that you should be happy about.
Speaking from experience I've had mixed results in this regard, some women took it well, others not so well, but I will say that I have only been with men outside of relationships and never when I was involved with a woman. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/25/2009 8:54:28 AM | Maybe go for the pretty boys and not the Marlboro men lol.
I dunno, hon...the correlation between anal sex and sex with a man is valid, but, in my case, not correct. Yes, I can get into a woman anally, if she so desires, but the more traditional vay jay is far sweeter...and women have luscious breasts and far less body hair, so I'm not into men.
In a sexual drought, I actually watched a bit of gay porn and it nauseated me. Does that give you an answer? She-males are somewhat intriguing, but I don't really wanna go there with one in person...I think I'd hurl. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/25/2009 11:01:29 AM | I agree with you, I want a man who only wants women too, I don't want a man who wants more than one woman or a man who wants to watch a woman with another man. I don't know if there are any left like that but I'm hoping for both our sakes there are.
I have also found that most guys I have met do have a thing about anal. Maybe it's because it is a tighter opening and it is more stimulating to them. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/25/2009 11:05:55 AM | You wrote: "Personally, I have never had the desire to encompass a womens breast or to do anything else sexual with another woman. "
My answer: Well why do you think that men can't think like you..? (to be hetersexual)
You wrote: " he admitted to me that he had been with other men in his past and thought he might be bi-sexual. /
I dated another man who was 6'3 and very masculine for almost three years and close to the end of the relationship he admitted he had thoughts of being with other men/"
My answer: I'm not Dr. Phil, I just play to be him on POF..
The way that you're thinking is ' my relationships with men are not good b/c all men can be gay, and that's why previous ones didn't work...in another words you don't 'any' responsibity for what went wrong.......100% was their fault.
I never had a desire to be with another man. I have never seen a gay porn either or thinking about watching one......
Your nephew is full of it.....I'm wondering if he ever goes to a non gay bar and try to put is theory in practice. He better have a good health insurance he may need it to pay for his hospital bills..........
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/25/2009 12:15:39 PM |
my bf and i hooked up with a male gay couple. it turns out one of them is bisexual... it was the best anal sex i ever had...pain free in the beginning and just unspeakable pleasure afterward...the gay guy, on the other hand, got soft as soon as i touched him...LOL
Thanks for sharing that.. | |
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| Men wanting women only and not other men
Posted: 4/25/2009 12:30:49 PM | I'm in utter shock at some of the replies to this post. In fact, a number of them make me sick.
Here's a fairly standard classic from a real "he-man:"
"If a guy ever touched me, I'd beat the sh*t out of him."
Or
"If a guy has sex with another guy, he is gay."
Or
"None of the guys I'm with are bisexual."
And you folks wonder why it might not come so easy for a guy to admit he is bisexual. Sorry, gals, if your guy wasn't forthright in telling you right off the bat, but damn, look what he is up against! There is a HUGE societal pressure for men to be 100% straight. Any hint of an interest with another man, and it could mean ruin. It's called the "Down Low" for a reason -- i.e., 'cause you don't want NO ONE to know. Maybe if society would be more accepting for two guys to hook up, men would be more open to telling you ladies right off the bat. Unfortunately, men will continue to cruise for sex with other men in parking lots, parks, etc. because I don't see any hope for views like those above to change anytime soon.
Not one person on here mentioned something called the Kinsey Scale, developed by Dr. Alfred Kinsey. Basically, it states that the sex -- like much of everything in the world -- is not black and white. Ladies, gents, just because a man is bisexual, it doesn't mean he likes men and women equally the same. There are varying degrees.
Here's the scale:
0 = Exclusively heterosexual
1 = Predominantely heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = Equally heterosexual and homosexual; bisexual
4 = Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 = Exclusively homosexual
Here's a link to read about it further:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
Today, sexologists think the scale is even more complex and varied. I myself am a 2, which basically means I am way more attracted to women than men, but I have no problem having sexual encounters with men.
According to Kinsey's research, he found few men (and women) who are merely 100% straight. You're going to get your macho, conservative, closed-minded guys on here who are going to jump on this post and say, "Not me. No, I'm not gay. I could drink a 48-pack of beer and I wouldn't touch another man!" Well, la-tee-da for you. I'm sorry to hear that your masculinity is so threatened. But seriously, if you're a No. 6, great. Why the need, then, to "beat the sh*t out of a guy" if he ever made a pass at you? Are you out to prove to the world in some sick way that you're straight? Just tell the guy, "Thanks, but no thanks, I'm straight."
I usually don't say this, but a lot of you on here make me sick -- the men and women.
Peace. | |
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