|
|
|
|
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 11:02:41 AM | andriv, you can disagree with me till your face turns blue, but I'm still sticking with my original statement. I've seen many girls and boys being raised with the opposite parent thier entire lives and their children turned out to be well rounded, hard working men and women. My mom wasn't around when I had my first period and I did just fine. It's always beneficial that a girl/boy has someone around that they can talk to, but it certainly doesn't have to be someone of the opposite sex.
Learning from the kids at school is something kids are going to do whether you talk to them at home or not. It's life, get used to it. As for teaching your child to defend themselves... I totally agree. However, teaching them to defend themselves and to fight are two different things. Mothers certainly have the necessities it takes to teach a boy to defend himself as well as a father with his daughter. As a matter of fact, parents don't need to "teach" a child to defend themselves (I'm talking bullying in the school yard, not street fights... if that's the case, then your kids in way over thier heads already), all they need to teach thier kids are to be respectful, to mind others manners, to walk away and to talk to an adult they trust when things are going bad. The answer isn't whether or not your child can land a left hook or not.
If I have to wait till they are old enough to ask peers in the work place then I didn't prepare them for the real world. That is just ridicules
Your right, so whether your the dad or the mom, you should have a relationship with your child in which they can come to you about anything... whether it's male or female related.
I don't think that kids should grow up without the influence of the same sex, I think its a benefit to have someone that child can trust to go to when they have concerns or questions... but it's not a necessity. | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 12:11:28 PM |
I've seen many girls and boys being raised with the opposite parent thier entire lives and their children turned out to be well rounded, hard working men and women.
As I had mentioned in one of earlier post, I have no doubt.
It's always beneficial that a girl/boy has someone around that they can talk to, but it certainly doesn't have to be someone of the opposite sex.
I agree. But there are some things that a boy will understand, be more comfortable and relate better with a male and some things a girl will understand, be more comfortable and relate better with with a female. In your case your son had his uncles as you mentioned above. If they are not around we can only do the best we can and hope for the best.
Agree with, if it's a street fight that they are in over their head and I will add they are hanging out with the wrong crowd.
I partially agree with:
mother can teach a boy to defend himself
I don't agree with it if the the way the mother is teaching him to defend himself is to walk away. To walk away once or twice is fine and if it stops even better. But if it continues it will only get worst and he will become the target of other bullies. Sometime showing they are not afraid (and sometimes their friends come in handy for this) will resolve the issue but some times a boy will have to use that left hook and must be told to use it if necessary.
you should have a relationship with your child in which they can come to you about anything... whether it's male or female related.
I totally agree, but not so much with getting advise from schoolmates. If your child is going to classmates for advise then the relationship you speak of in the above quote doesn't exists. If my daughters can't come to me they know and are comfortable talking to my sisters. They are always call my sisters for a girl talk or girls night out. I taught them early on (at least I believe I have) that friends are good to talk with and vent to but they don't have the experience and knowledge that an adult has to give them good guidance. How can they give advise of something they are not too familiar with. That's just my feeling on it. | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 5:41:19 PM | I've been following this thread for a bit and, believe it or not, I find myself sitting on the fence on this one.
I think women CAN raise a boy to a man, though I really don't think it's possible in most cases. As many others have pointed out, it really is a matter of innate differences in perception, thought processes and emotional make-up.
People have mentioned the differences in fighting and school yard stuff. Personlly, I think a huge difference between school yard scrapping these days to when I was a kid was that in the olden days there were rules of combat. I think that the reason we see so much of one kid being beaten by a group is because of the emphasis on 'cooperation'. When I was a kid, fights were ALWAYS between two people. If things got out of hand, the older kids stepped in to stop it. You were allowed to tap out and that was ok.
I've read the posts by women who believe they are going to raise sons who women will love. I call bullshit. I really think you are going to raise sons who get tossed to the friend-zone constantly. ... (EDIT to ADD: OR, raise really good players). You should teach your sons to emulate you EX. HE was attractive enough for you to bang and pop out a kid or two with. HE was successful with women. You son will thank you, though make sure he understands that he needs to wear a condom ALWAYS.
I think there is going to be a whole generation of women bemoaning the dearth of 'men', of truly attractive and desireable men.
And, I don't think women are the only ones responsible. It's a pretty complex dynamic.
CAN women teach a boy how to be a MAN? Yes, but I think it would take an extraordinary woman to do so, and one who is willing to accept that 'maleness' is not inherently fvcked..... and THAT is one of the biggest hurdles.
 | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 6:24:09 PM | | wow - what a "interesting" world you must live in..... The last thing I would want is my son to emulate his father.... He was hardly a man that any woman would want for the long run..... we all make mistakes when we are young and foolish.... as to raising a son who women will love - I raised him to find and believe in love ... and hopefully have a marriage/relationship that will last a lifetime... no guarantees.....as to it taking an extraordinary woman to raise a son and teaching a boy to be a man... well I'll say thank you on behalf of many extraordinary women..... and yes I like/luv men, at their worst and at their best...so the hurdle is really just accepting people with all their flaws - Easy to say and not always so simple to actually portray! | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 6:46:37 PM |
The last thing I would want is my son to emulate his father.... He was hardly a man that any woman would want for the long run.....
Well, he got you to have sex with him and odds are that he's out there doing the same with other women. He's a success with you and with other women, I'm sure. I would wish the same for your son.
as to raising a son who women will love - I raised him to find and believe in love ... and hopefully have a marriage/relationship that will last a lifetime... no guarantees
No guarantees, EXACTLY.
Success to your son will be having the 'game' to KNOW he can find a woman to have sex with when he feels horny. As a woman, you have no way of understanding that feeling of success despite being able to laid pretty well whenever you want to by virtue of BEING a woman.
I think this is really something that women will never quite understand or ever be able to teach a guy. Believe it or not, MOST of what motivates a guy is his desire to attract women have sex with them.
It's really NOT rocket science... though it may seem so to most women.
| |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 7:00:54 PM | Wow Cap.....that's a fantastic idea....in fact, I'm going to go and re-write my blurb in the "hopes and dreams" section of his baby book.....
"My hopes & dreams for you baby boy, is that I will raise you well enough to get laid on a regular basis."
I wonder what his Grandparents will think of that one. | |
|
| |
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 7:05:50 PM | | Ha Jaxi! I was going to comment on caps post but yeah- if I had a son I would raise him to be a douche that's aim in life was to have sex with women. | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 7:11:53 PM | Yeah, Cap, I think THAT'S the problem.
I'm supposed to be raising my daughter not to be single mother's according to one moron, and according to you I'm supposed to be raising my son to conquer, impregnate, and run.
With a thought process like that, no wonder society is the way it is...and no wonder women bear the shame. After all, the men were just doing what they should be doing, right?
Bah. | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 7:17:25 PM |
Wow Cap.....that's a fantastic idea....in fact, I'm going to go and re-write my blurb in the "hopes and dreams" section of his baby book.....
"My hopes & dreams for you baby boy, is that I will raise you well enough to get laid on a regular basis."
I wonder what his Grandparents will think of that one.
That Was Awesome,,,, I'm still laughing out loud. | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 7:18:47 PM |
I'm supposed to be raising my daughter not to be single mother's according to one moron, and according to you I'm supposed to be raising my son to conquer, impregnate, and run.
Oh, unbunch your panties, darling....
... if you pay attention, I mentioned at least a couple of times that the guy should be taught to ALWAYS wrap it up. If you'd read other threads, I also recommend that guys not only wrap it up, but also use a spermicide and to NEVER, EVER believe a woman when she tells you she's using BC.
And, please show me WHERE I advocated that a son 'conquer, impregnate and run'...
Seems like I touched a bit of a nerve and got some of the little women stamping their ickle feetsies this evening.....
| |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 7:24:52 PM |
Seems like I touched a bit of a nerve and got some of the little women stamping their ickle feetsies this evening.....
Not me, sorry.
But, I have had the condom talk several times with my teenager. A nice talk about genital warts and herpes helped me make my point. And he says that he firmly agrees about the importance of condoms,,,,,
Now I just get to pray he uses them (someday when he finally has sex of course,,,, lol). | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 7:26:55 PM | I hate the word "panties".....always have...not sure why....
ANYhow.......I would prefer not to think of my son as a future potential man whore....maybe it's me....I might be the only one that feels this way. I think I'd prefer that he end up in the "friend zone" than a first rate player...
You can "wrap it up" Cap, as many times as you want...if you keep lying with the dogs, sooner or later you're going to catch fleas. | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 7:51:37 PM |
I hate the word "panties".....always have...not sure why....
Well, I'm kinda indifferent to the word, but I LOVE the look....
ANYhow.......I would prefer not to think of my son as a future potential man whore....maybe it's me....I might be the only one that feels this way.
I'm sure that your sentiments are shared by pretty well every women here...
... which, really, pretty well addresses the point of the thread and answers the question the OP poses.
I think I'd prefer that he end up in the "friend zone" than a first rate player...
Which again, shows the difference between women's perspectives and those of most men.
I wouldn't want my sons to be guys who bang every women who offers either and hurting anyone's feelings, but I would like them to be confident enough in their game that if they want to get laid they can get laid.
Of course there will be some men who disagree, but not too many, I'm thinking....
| |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 8:05:29 PM | some people sure use the word pretty a lot.
Only men can teach boys to be men! Duh! Women don't have a clue what goes through the male mind. If we did....... we would rule the world ....for reals! I don't know about the rest of you, but I get grossed out just thinking what might be going through those man brains.
Good men raise good men. | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 9:47:43 PM | Before you ladies pass judgment on Caps response let me add to what he said. Most fathers will not tell their son "Hey this is what you have to do to get laid", "Hey son if you want to get a piece you have to tell them things they want to hear". We will tell them how to respect a women, we will tell them to be confident, we will tell them to be mindful to the feelings of others and we will tell them to live up to their responsibility. Just about the same things a women would tell them.
However, having been young teenage men at one time we know a teenage boy is reaching their peak and they are in heat 24/7. For a teenage boy this a very confusing time, their mind is telling them one thing but their body is telling them something completely different and that's when young men let the wrong head take over. They will figure out what they need to say to a girl to gain their trust to fulfill that urge and they will learn how to mess with their emotions so that they (young ladies) will give in and they will figure this all on their own. So we will also tell them that we are aware of the urges and that they may find themselves taking it to the next level so we explain how to avoid STDs and what to do to avoid becoming a father too young. We will also tell them it's normal and they can always feel free to come and speak with us regardless of the situation.
In most cases the principles they were taught will become secondary because urges are so strong. There are some that will control it totally because it was drilled in so much but let me warn you, rinse out the shower if you going in after them. Also, those that follow it totally will often find them self in the friend zone or are one of the following:
1) Be one of the very rare teenage sweetheart marriages.
2) find them self in love and want to have a life with this young lady, so based on the mutual feeling avoiding protection and resulting in getting them pregnant.
If a women has a great relationship with their son and the son is comfortable talking about this with their mom things may turn out OK. More times then not the young man will yes mom but will not relate because what can she know about what I'm going through.
So in the end Cap is right, your son wants to get laid and no matter what you tell him it will probably happen so teach him to wrap. | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/23/2009 9:58:25 PM | And, please show me WHERE I advocated that a son 'conquer, impregnate and run'...
No, no, you didn't SAY it...you said single mothers should teach their sons to emulate their fathers because they obviously did something right.
My point was a lot of woman are single mothers because their partner did something WRONG.
And a lot of single mothers are single mothers regardless of "wrapping it up," as well.
My panties aren't bunched! If they were, I would have included some sort of angry or annoyed smiley guy. Merely pointing out the irony. | |
|
| |
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/24/2009 1:51:43 PM |
My point was a lot of woman are single mothers because their partner did something WRONG.
Alot of women are single mothers because THEY chose the wrong guy to have a baby with or because THEY had an equal part in the break up... OR because thier partner did something wrong.
There... fixed that for ya. | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/24/2009 2:09:45 PM |
A matter of fact the man I am starting something with has raised his boys on his own. I never said men are not important. I also think it is important to try to show a little respect to people, be they male or female and not just based on their social status ! TEALWOOD!
I have worked places where I knew almost everybody that worked there from the cleaning people up. I treated them all with the same respect and I was interested in them as people
Now that is a great arguement. Next you will suggest you are not prejudiced and show proof because you have black/muslim friends? I have no problem or concern where a person is or walks in respect to their socio-economic status. I had great fun walking both sides of the tracks in my early 20's. And met some incredibly self reliant individuals who have lived without help or welfare. In fact I might suggest that some of those individuals were better people to know than some of the finacial elite you seem to suggest I am or wish I was. And I did not grown up with a spoon in my mouth but from early teens was earning my own money and not asking for someone else to pay for my lifestyle.
I respect individuals who make their own way in life and forge an identity on what they do for themselves. Those who mortgage the future without knowing or planning on how they will pay for it are ones who perhaps I have less sympathy for as they look around for others to blame for their lot in life. But then that is part of the problem with your mortgage problems as people mortgaged their lifestyle without any reality of being able to pay for it?
I have also never suggested woman are not important. I do suggest that mothers or fathers should be equally prepared to be finacially responsible for themselves and for their children.
And my children are not entitled to their mothers money. Based on her supposed income today my income and ability to provide the essentials and extras is better than hers. So allowing her to keep her income and be able to have a level of relationship with her children is far more important than extorting the suggested tabled amount of cs.
There are children who live in married homes that have far less.
But I had children when I knew I was ready and when I was in a finacial position to properly provide for their needs rather than cry poor when things change. | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/24/2009 2:10:54 PM | There... fixed that for ya.
Thank you, but I don't want it fixed.
I'm talking about absent fathers and their sons being taught to emulate them. Whether a woman had an equal responsibility in the termination of the relationship has no bearing on the subject.
The fact is, no one needs to teach their son the sexual practices of a man who impregnated and then deserted his child. | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/24/2009 5:01:19 PM | Reading over the past fews post by Cap and Andriv got me thinking.....scarey!!!
I have had a few discussions with my son over the years about sex and sexual morals. I have told him that when he feels ready to have sex to make sure he uses condoms and if he prefers, I can buy them because I'd rather pay the price of condoms than have him become a daddy before he is emotionally and financially ready to do so. In terms of sexual morals, I have told him that a good rule to follow is to not have sex with someone he is not in love with.
So, now after reading the last few posts by men, something just occured to me. When I became sexually active, I told my girlfriend who was a virgin that having sex was like eating potato chips...it was hard not to eat the whole bag. In other words, once you've experienced it, it is difficult to live without and to stop short of also. So guys, this may come as a shock to you but I'm not sure that men corner the market on desiring sex.
That being said, I certainly wasn't scanning the crowd of males wanting to have sex with all the ones I found attractive (or was I?), I recall being a bit more in control. Nor was I actively trying to get all the attractive men I saw into bed. Is that the main difference between us where sex is concerned? Do men actually really have a natural desire to screw as many women as they possibly can? Do all men act on those impulses?
Now you guys have me wondering if I should not have another discussion with my son addressing the urges that men feel...let him know if he is thinking about sex 24/7 it is normal and nothing to be concerned over. | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/24/2009 5:18:11 PM | No, no, you didn't SAY it...you said single mothers should teach their sons to emulate their fathers because they obviously did something right.
From most guys' perspectives the father of your son DID do something right: He managed to get YOU into bed. He is probably out there bedding OTHER women. That really IS a measure of success, though hardly the only one.
Not keeping an eye on his sperm and allowing it to be used to create a child is NOT necessarily a measure of success. If he was careless with his sperm, he was an idiot.
My point, since you seemed to miss it, is that women who come on here saying they are raising sons who will be loved by and successful with women are delusional. Many of those guys will be loved by women as FRIENDS and many will be on here started "Nice Guy" threads....
| |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/24/2009 5:21:04 PM |
some people sure use the word pretty a lot.
Ah, your nose is just out of joint 'cause I didn't call YOU pretty, today....
... but you ARE pretty, a sorta indigo rosish way....   | |
|
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/24/2009 5:30:15 PM |
So guys, this may come as a shock to you but I'm not sure that men corner the market on desiring sex.
I certainly never said that men DO have a corner on that market. I don't think any other guy said it either.
I DID say that sex is one of, if not THE biggest motivator for men's behaviour.
that the main difference between us where sex is concerned?
Yes.
Do men actually really have a natural desire to screw as many women as they possibly can?
Yes, for most... 99.9% if they were honest..... erm... well, gay guys want to screw (or be screwed BY) as many MEN as they possibly can...
Do all men act on those impulses?
Yes, though most of the women they desire will never know it.... since the guys act on it in the shower, bathroom, bedroom, while they're driving down the road, while they're asleep, while they're awake...  
The good news is that we think about it a bit less as we reach our 40's and 50's...
| |
|
|
| Page 15 of 19
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 |
|
Home
login 
