| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/24/2009 5:55:53 PM |
Yes, for most... 99.9% if they were honest..... erm... well, gay guys want to screw (or be screwed BY) as many MEN as they possibly can...
So, since I knew this already, more chances of me raising a man then right? Because I've known this for a long time. Although some men are very good at not making it known (like you said), the truth is that most men think about sex almost all the time. Now, if we can just teach them to be sweet all the time too :-)
**** Ducking,,,, thank god I have a computer to hide behind! ***** | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/24/2009 5:58:04 PM | The genetic part is already there, however I do feel that a male role model is still important. My own growth was confused because my own mother and father were not typical male - female role models. I feel this was why I formerly had so much trouble with many aspects of life especially relationships with women.
The long story short version was that dad was an alcoholic until I was 4 yrs old. Mom gave him the ultimatum to either get sober or she was taking the kids. So he did, he sobered-up and got into recovery. The thing was during all those years mom got used to "wearing the pants" in the household. She had to be the responsible one. Dad did get sober, and started straightening out his act, however, mom never stopped *acting* like she was the *sole provider* in the home (even though dad worked too now).
She also held dad's past drinking days against him while I was growing-up. He was just very *careful* not to piss her off. He sort of lost his *voice* in the relationship. All I truly saw was my dad as a good guy, and my mom as sort of a little bit of a b_tch towards him. In my later teens I was very angry at my mom also for being like that. I never saw dad drink, or knew anything it really.
See, now I didn't really know any of this was a tad *twisted* when I was a kid. I didn't realize I also had a problem until I got sober myself about 6 yrs ago and started my own recovery from alcoholism (I guess it's true that it runs in the family). I really realized it when I tried to connect with women I wanted to date, and I was getting hurt. I was settling for friendship and taking very passive approaches with women I was interested in in recovery.
I now understand why I was also somewhat wimpy most of my late teenage years throughout my twenties (through one very bad marriage to the totally wrong person) into my thirties, etc., etc. I just never knew what I was lacking.
It was aggressiveness. It was assertiveness. That's what I was missing. I was suffering from "depression" and going to therapy in recovery and the therapist said: "passive/aggressive". That's when I started finding real solutions to my problem. I didn't need therapy, nor was I "depressed". I realized I never truly had a typical male role model growing-up. I learned that I had to be direct and up-front and honest, or I'd get myself into the same messed-up relationships over and over again with different women.
In short, I lacked any balls. I was very passive/aggressive because of the lack of a dominant male role model growing-up.
Mike | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/25/2009 8:49:07 AM | Before you ladies pass judgment on Caps response let me add to what he said. Most fathers will not tell their son "Hey this is what you have to do to get laid", "Hey son if you want to get a piece you have to tell them things they want to hear". We will tell them how to respect a women, we will tell them to be confident, we will tell them to be mindful to the feelings of others and we will tell them to live up to their responsibility. ~andriv~
^^^Ahhh I get it.....so the invaluable lesson boys need to learn from their Father or a male role model is ...DO what I say, NOT as I do?
Many of you guys are a good example....an example of how a man should never behave!! | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/25/2009 9:49:57 AM | Lizbeth, I agree that there are alot of men that don't know how to respect a woman, are confident with themselves and are not mindful of the feelings of others and do not live up to their responsibility. There are also a lot of women who don't know how to respect a man, are confident with themselves and are not mindful of the feelings of others and do not live up to their responsibility (except maybe when it comes to raising children). There are asses among both sexes.
The trick for us humans is to find those that do know how to respect PEOPLE regardless of the gender, are confident (or at minimum emotionally healthy), are mindful of the feelings of others (without being doormats) and will live up to their responsibility not only to any children born but to the other parent as well.
Until we can fix our radars.....we will end up with the crap because the crap is so much easier to catch. The good is out there, we just need to be picky and we need to be patient most of all.
I notice not many men have posted to say that what Cap said and Andriv elaborated on is crap....lol. I heard something a few weeks ago, a survey was done of single men and they were asked why they are not interested in marriage.....guess what the number one reason was....
I can have sex without getting married..................kinda telling, when you actually read these forums...you can see the differences between the sexes in GENERAL.
I know if I get a choice in my next life, I am choosing to come back as a man! | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/25/2009 2:11:07 PM |
^^^Ahhh I get it.....so the invaluable lesson boys need to learn from their Father or a male role model is ...DO what I say, NOT as I do?
So you think that the dad should be telling thier sons all the things they did as adults... who they slept with and how they did it? Seriously, who does that?
The tables can be turned on the moms too... do you, or will you tell your daughter how to "get some" or how to have babies and collect mothers support? I don't think so.
We will tell them how to respect a women, we will tell them to be confident, we will tell them to be mindful to the feelings of others and we will tell them to live up to their responsibility.
Regardless of whether that's what the dad has done in his life or not, that's exactly what he SHOULD be teaching his son.
Many of you guys are a good example....an example of how a man should never behave!!
Yes, and many of the moms here are shining examples of how a woman should behave... sheesh. It goes both ways. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/25/2009 2:22:09 PM | (lizbeth2) ^^^Ahhh I get it.....
I doubt it.
so the invaluable lesson boys need to learn from their Father or a male role model is ...DO what I say, NOT as I do?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no (I feel dumb just having to explain this). Being a parent sometimes involves you saying to your kids: "Me parent, you kid. Me say, you listen." Democracy may be a great political theory, but it's a p!$$-poor parenting paradigm.
Arlo, Master of Alliteration 
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/25/2009 3:52:36 PM | "I heard something a few weeks ago, a survey was done of single men and they were asked why they are not interested in marriage.....guess what the number one reason was....
I can have sex without getting married..................kinda telling, when you actually read these forums...you can see the differences between the sexes in GENERAL."
And the other reasons given if we were reading the same survery were; I don't want to just be a visitor in my child's life since so many marriages end divorce and I don't want to pay child support for the next 18 years and 50% of everything that I worked for taken away". | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/25/2009 5:25:44 PM |
I can have sex without getting married..................kinda telling, when you actually read these forums...you can see the differences between the sexes in GENERAL.
Well, GENERALLY, the way men and women leads to quite a bit of contention, but what always bothers me about the difference is that women see men's take on sex WRONG.
Funnily enough, I've never seen men complain about women's view on sex unless the women are seen to be using sex as a method of control or the woman's sex drive is out of whack one way or the other. This includes waiting a while for sex, though if the waiting starts to seem like a contol issue, many guys will bail.
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/25/2009 5:30:16 PM | soccersweep....who ever falls in love with someone, plans a wedding, all the time expecting the demise of that relationship? Nobody I know in the real world but I'm sure there are some that think that way or there would be no need for prenups.
Noone should be a visitor in their child's life. The problem with people these days is they expect relationships to be easy and they give up (at least one does, it only takes one to end a relationship). If you talk to people who have been married 30+ years, NONE of them would say it was all a bed of roses. We are truly delusional to think otherwise.
We have become selfish to the point that our children are paying the price for our selfishness. My grandparents generation shake their heads at our generations who throw away marriage and relationships where there are children....we lack committment and who pays the price for our selfishness....our kids pay far more than we ever could.
Oh sure, we can complain about being single parents (CP and NCP) and complain about child support (I have to pay/it's in arrears) but whose fault is it? It is OUR collective fault. We are becoming a disposable society.
We have sex without being careful, we have sex outside of marriage, we think of sex as recreation without considering the consequences until the rabbit dies.
As for losing 50% of what you work for, if you were both working and contributing, it was not 100% yours.....
So as to what I as a single mom will teach my son, I will teach him to do not what I did but to do better than I have done. I will teach him that having children is something you do with someone you can commit your life to (or at minimum 18 years), that sometimes the needs of our children should supercede our needs. To accept that in life, you may not be able to have everything, you might have to 'settle' for the sake of what is best for your children. That we are the grownups and we have a responsibility to the children we create. Aside from abuse and addictions, if two people decide to marry and have children and then fall out of love....t f b you made a bed, where there are children involved, you need to lie in it and try to make the best of it.
You know what, I think my son gets it...he told me one day that my daughter's father and I should have gotten married when I became pregnant and provided a real home for his sister. He has grown up with a single mom and a father who didn't want to be involved. My son doesn't realize the degree of emotional abuse his Mom was subject to following the announcement of my pregnancy until recently when I made a choice not to have contact with him except in writing. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/25/2009 7:49:26 PM | | Single mothers can help their sons become men by learning what the essence of being a man is. I highly recommend that women read Wild at Heart by John Eldridge; the book really speaks to men and it will provide a lot of insight. I also highly recommend the book to men. It was enlightening for me as well. Good luck. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/25/2009 9:05:51 PM | So you think that the dad should be telling thier sons all the things they did as adults... who they slept with and how they did it? Seriously, who does that? ~H&H~
^^forgive me for being obtuse...I was merely pointing out the ridiculous double standards that some men have when it comes to raising children...or not raising them and yet still relish in voicing an opinion. Seriously who does that?
Being a parent sometimes involves you saying to your kids: "Me parent, you kid. Me say, you listen." Democracy may be a great political theory, but it's a p!$$-poor parenting paradigm.~Arlo Troutman~
^^^So I am guessing your parenting style isn't to teach by example then?
Maybe we should be teaching some of the men to act like adults?....
Preferably before we ask them to teach our boys how to be be a MAN..
...just sayin.... | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/25/2009 11:15:33 PM |
Ahhh I get it.....so the invaluable lesson boys need to learn from their Father or a male role model is ...DO what I say, NOT as I do?
Many of you guys are a good example....an example of how a man should never behave!!
I don't follow. How did you come up with that conclusion? Is the conclusion based on your experiences?
My father drilled into his 4 sons with his favorite speech, "It doesn't take a man to make a baby but it takes a real man to raise his children" and every single one of us live to those words. My father talked to us about how to respect others, not to take people for granted but he also told us if I feel I couldn't wait I could go to him and he would get me condoms. Yes, I slept around through high school up till I was 25. I was like a rabbit but then when my first child was born what my father kept saying to me about a real man raising his kids hit home. I then became a father and I was committed. I did everything to be a good husband but it wasn't to be. I'm still raising my kids and I do everything I can to be a good example to them.
I would like to understand the point you were trying to make because your conclusion just seems like male bashing or stereo typing. If that is all it is then no problem because neither bother me. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/26/2009 4:38:06 AM | So is that the essence of a man that we need to teach our sons? It doesn't take a man to make a baby but it takes a real man to raise his children. I agree and believe any woman can make a baby but it takes a real woman to raise her children.
I've known too many men who sleep around without a care for the feelings of the women they are sleeping with. I think most women raising sons do try to instill in them that part of being a man and a human being is to be sensitive to the fact that their actions have consequences for other people. When it comes to sex, the other person usually is a woman.
A lot of us women are tired of being lied to and manipulated in order to get us into bed and it does seem as though there are quite a few "men" who didn't pick up the part about being respectful of others in the lessons taught by their fathers. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/26/2009 11:05:43 AM |
I could cry,vomit & sh!t out all this idiotic crap & pretense.......I am not angry till I deal with fakes,b!tches,narcissist, and players...you DON'T LIKE OR WANT ME? cool! DON'T ACT LIKE A FVCKING bozo!!!! AND DON'T TRY TO MAKE ME THINK U CARE TO TRY TO GET NEAR MY CROTCH! FVCK! YOU! MEN.....gee maybe I should just be gay or alone.
Well it is good to know I am not the only one you have issues with. I think a few elderly woman I know would suggest you have a wonderful Potty mouth. Now being a little more direct I would suggest you perfectly illustrate the ball busting catty self entitled woman that men should teach their sons to avoid at all costs. But please consider the gay route!
Congratulations!?? Tell the truth? is she(the wifey) a stripper? JUST CURIOUS
Why? They are at least honest in their approach about giving you something once you have paid the price. As opposed to paying a huge a huge price for what was probably sub valued products. But that would be rude to suggest.
YET she is a responsible parent!??? Most mothers would willingly give to their children!?
Even animals give to their young.
You see my statement about treating people equally as 'boastful' or 'showy' because that's what you do...All you have mainly discussed here is how financially able you are and others have less!
Sure she should be paying! But in proving my case...and it is there and easily proved...it would cost far more than I could realize in cs payments and even if costs were awarded....the lawyer wants to be paid and not wait.
I have never seen you ever suggest that both parties are required to be held to the same standard of finacial responsibilities.
Tealwood who exactly was crying about their finances here? I didn't see that post anywhere?ANYBODY ELSE see it pls direct me???
Your own post! Been there and yes I understand paying the bills and maintaining the costs associated with before and after school care.
Do u think a woman who slaves all day while a husband works is getting a free ride??? SERIOUSLY? HAve you ever had to be home with ur children all damn day? lol maintaining a whole house,cleaning, feeding, playing, teaching, laundering and cleaning more as well as maintaining the financial paperwork.(indentured servanting) God forbid the child is sick? stay up half the night and do it all over again the next day?
SPOILED!? BECAUSE I EXPECT RESPECT?
Never expected respect in my life. I simply worked on the premise that I earned respect as I went through life doing what was required or insuring my responsibilities were taken care off. I have never shown respect to anyone who demands it....it is something I was taught it was something earned.
NOt every single mom is on welfare #1,#2 It takes two people, COUNT em two pple to make a child.
ANd when a man KNOWINGLY & WILLINGLY engages in the process of making a child & agrees to the life of that child in concept?...
IF he WONT actively love & nurture that child? HE needs to at least anti -up.Same for the Mothers who don't want their kids or choose some D!ck over their child..they need to pay!
Never have I ever stated or suggested all woman were on welfare. I have never even suggested 1/2 are on welfare. But why is it that you are unable to post without resorting to profanities? I would suggest even if a mother stays with her children it does not preclude her from finacial responsibilities of working. As opposed to what you appear to be only suggesting woman who leave their children.
Ad BTW what was so wrong with someone having stated their son will be the type of man every woman wants?
I do not remember any comment from you when someone asked what would your response be if some guy was to teach young girls/daughters to be the type of woman all men would want in a wife? I might suggest that either suggestion is somewhat obscene? Because if one question is acceptable the other question is equally germane.
I've known too many men who sleep around without a care for the feelings of the women they are sleeping with. I think most women raising sons do try to instill in them that part of being a man and a human being is to be sensitive to the fact that their actions have consequences for other people. When it comes to sex, the other person usually is a woman.
A lot of us women are tired of being lied to and manipulated in order to get us into bed and it does seem as though there are quite a few "men" who didn't pick up the part about being respectful of others in the lessons taught by their fathers.
And all those woman who sleep with the guy on the first date are all mislead, lied to or manipulated? Please try to explain to me why woman or so shallow, stupid or gullible?
If they are which i have never believed them to be.
And what about those woman who use guys for a dating partner knowing they will never go any further but tantalize and suggest something further may happen?
And here I always understood woman to be self aware and responsible for their own actions and intelligence. I used to have great fun playing in the night clubs and working the crown or scene and remember the days when ones criteria or selection would become less picky as the night progressed and you got closer to closing time.
But i still remember it was the guys ((for the most part)) who were trying to pick up the woman who ultimately were the ones who said yes or no.
So who is then lying to who? Please explain to me how any woman could suggest she was looking for a meaningful emotional relationship when sex is initiated on the first night...or after only knowing someone for a few hours?
Woman sometimes need to sometimes find others to lay blame when they enjoy themselves....where guys have no problem understanding that 90% of all interactions they only have one thing in mind?
You know back when I was younger...in better shape and perhaps a little better looking.....a great girl in Scottsdale told me i had to pack up as a Marine friend was coming to visit...so she had her gf come pick me up and i had a place to stay for a couple of weeks. Nothing of course happened as I was only there to provide friendship and dinner company! But those early 30 woman seemed to enjoy playing cards with a younger 22 year old....
So there Mizzie a bone for you to bite into with your vitriol and acid retorts.
And Mizzie: I do hold a respect for your history of being able to provide for yourself and your children....just not your mouth! | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/26/2009 1:10:25 PM | the question was can I woman raise a boy on her own . not,can awoman make a man into man.tottaly different.topics
Only a woman would not realise that raising a boy properly is what makes a man a man.... | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/26/2009 2:51:00 PM | "A lot of us women are tired of being lied to and manipulated in order to get us into bed and it does seem as though there are quite a few "men" who didn't pick up the part about being respectful of others in the lessons taught by their fathers. "
So, back to the victim mentality we go. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/26/2009 3:18:23 PM |
So, back to the victim mentality we go.
It's not a *victim mentality.* The women in this thread are talking about CHANGING things by trying to teach their own children differently. That's proactive. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/26/2009 3:26:33 PM | I'm a single dad with custody of my 15 year-old son.
I teach him to respect others, whether male or female.
I also discourage him from associating with girls who appear to have no respect for themselves. There seem to be a lot of them about these days. Whose fault that is...you tell me.
Families need fathers.
Millions of years of evolution cannot be overturned in a few years without there being consequences. Look around you. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/26/2009 3:54:57 PM | "It's not a *victim mentality.* The women in this thread are talking about CHANGING things by trying to teach their own children differently. That's proactive. "
Teaching our children is proactive but the way I read the state "we are tired of being lied to and minipulated" clearly is putting the blame for her bad decision making on the man. Yes, a man should not lie to get a woman into bed, that's a no brainer since the lesson I teach my daughter is "the measure you give is the measure you get back". But I have also taught her that she is responsible for her actions and her body. She needs to accept that responsibility for her part. What I read above was in being lied to and manipulated was someone who is not taking responsibility and clearly acting as a victim.
She will have a choice whether she sleeps with a guy or not and it is ultimately her responsibility to make that decision. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/26/2009 4:40:28 PM | (Arlo-man) Being a parent sometimes involves you saying to your kids: "Me parent, you kid. Me say, you listen." Democracy may be a great political theory, but it's a p!$$-poor parenting paradigm.~Arlo Troutman~
(lizbeth2)^^^So I am guessing your parenting style isn't to teach by example then?
You're actually right, but not for the reason you think.
My parenting style is to be the best possible parent I can, and not to delude myself that cracking wise on PoF is an acceptable substitute for good parenting.
Arlo
(sheesh, where do they dig these people up?) | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/26/2009 4:44:01 PM | Cap: I can barely imagine what kind of life you lead... I think I've met a few of you over the years in bars who felt that it was all about sex...I'm under no illusions that my son was celibate until he got married - that would be totally ridiculous to think that - I made sure he had condoms, but I also made sure both my children - son and daughter knew that when you take a chance and have sex -protected or not - it isn't about getting pregnant these days (that would be the least of anyone's worries) - but it could be about dying - so they should be careful about the "sex" and who they did it with - One night stands - that is a thing of the past - if you want to live to a healthy 80 or so -
So here is my final word on the matter - People - men or women - grow into individuals who make choices - they can't make choices if they don't know about them - and they need to feel good about who they are when they make those choices - women and men should just teach their children to treat others as they would like to be treated - the rest should all fall into place.... | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 2/26/2009 4:58:00 PM |
what do u consider as ' women who have no self respect' ? because according to your gender friend 'Tealwood' and some others they find impregnating or and/or dealing with a stripper or prostitute a more 'honest' /desirable exchange than say a woman like me who has a foul mouth but isn't a paid whore....u see how that choice of moral compassing sounds ridiculous?
someone really seems to have a fixation or issues with woman who do not have the same "supposed" moral character they hold...It also begs the question that perhaps someone important to you found solace in the arms or bed of a woman perhaps a little more proficient or experienced than you? Because unlike yourself I do not have the outrage of moral repugnance towards these woman. I have not dipped my wick there but I fail to see why you seem to have this catty...beetchy attitude towards woman who have gone there.
Have you other issues which puts you in the "Mooooo" category? Since you seem so easily predisposed towards calling others names?
You really do have some issues and I think I know the type well. A good looking woman who see's her appearance fading as age creeps up and realizes she no longer is able to sway or manipulate the men like she could when she was 18 to 25.....and hates the realization and woman who are still able to flaunt their looks to their satisfaction.
Respect lady has nothing to do with where you are or what you happen to own or have. respect is what you command and what you earn through your actions.
I have known and been friends with those who walk both sides of the street and easily recognise those who suggest they are beeter than others who walk the same street. LOL
As ones looks disappear with age...and their attributes sag with age...you may find you have nothing left to offer?
there are woman here who easily can do anything that any father could do and I might suggest they can probably do it better. just not you! | |
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