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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/5/2009 3:59:01 PM |
So, with that PROOF... I will absolutely have to agree that a woman can teach a boy to become a man (perhaps even better than a man).
Which 'proof' are you talking about? You've 'proved' NOTHING.
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/5/2009 4:24:56 PM | I just popped in for all the name calling and male virgins. But stayed for the free entertainment! Keep it coming!
You know Personally I think if the Father is not in the picture ...you need a positive male role model somewhere in the mix.
There are good men out there in the real world…that were raised by single Mommy's. And... There are dysfunctional two parent homes that do more damage to a kid than any single Mommy home would have. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/5/2009 5:06:57 PM | And here I was looking for all those female virgins, that need a man to teach them how to be a woman...... 
OT........I believe that for the most part, even though there are many wonderful single mothers trying the best that they can, most boys need that male influence in some fashion to transfer from boy to man and truly understand it.
It does not have to be their father, and can be other males in their life, that can help guide them and complete the puzzle of what it means to be a man and become one.
I was lucky enough to have a grandfather that gave me some of that, and some awesome teachers and coaches that filled in many gaps since I never had a real father to do that..........
I will let you know that my whole upbringing, and missing father, was a huge factor in me staying married for as long as I did, and staying around to raise my son to help be who he is today. Even after divorce, I was never, and will never be, an absent father for my child, no matter his age.
Just my opinion........   | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/5/2009 5:15:22 PM | fost/adopting three teens, then married, i wish my ex could have provided a more "masculine" model for my kids. he was able to teach all three computer skills, but that was as far as it went. often, he embarrassed them--in particular, the boy. let's just say his behavior was getting "odder and odder" as the years went by. so, i had to be the alpha dog in my family. it was not totally enjoyable. i would have liked to share the role. nonetheless, i taught my son to shave, talked with him in depth about all the puberty issues, did my best to get him into sports et al, and was all in all totally frazzled as all three of our kids were post trauma and he was ad/hd.
the waiting lists for male mentors could be wrapped numerous times around a city block. i was an only child and new to CA. by the time, they reached your name, you would be 30! tried paying people, et al. but they not only need a male figure, they need consistency! my kid, really needed a man who was good at sports and could help him get out all that testosterone energy. he also had a heavy duty past to deal with. still, if i didn' t "find out" what they were all up to, they usually told me anyways. some of it was pretty heavy duty.
yet, this world is not ideal. many couples do not do well with either gender. that is why there is so much dysfunction in the adult world. i know that at least, my kids, had me. if they didn't, although they still have far to go, they never would have gotten this far. they too were very special and very smart children, all with deep feelings and different ways of protecting themselves. however, the boy had the least impulse control. with a kind, but very strong male model, who would do the guy stuff with him, but also take no "sh-t", that would have been the best. now, i tell him, he will have to take up that role and learn the best way possible. because, if someone doesn't start the process, it will perpetuate. i have come across men raising female children. the difference is that it is easier to find big sisters, than it is to find big brothers.
i beseach all men of good "repute", to sign up for that role! | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/11/2009 6:13:32 PM | I will do all I can to provide opportunities for my son to learn what it is to be a 'good man'. His perception of what makes a 'good man' may end up different to my notions, but that's ok. My role is merely to help him learn for himself as he matures to adulthood.
Also, there are plenty of good male role models around without having a useless, good-for-nothing male role model of a father in the picture.  | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/11/2009 8:04:26 PM | | As a single parent, i have raised 2 sons. There father was practically nonexistant. Only a dad when it was convenient for him. They have been raised on my values and morals. At ages 18 and 20, anyone would be proud to have my sons as their own. They are compassionate, responsible, and giving young men. They have seen me fight and struggle to raise them, support them financially, emotionally and physically. They have a respect for women, people, that I dont think they would have had, had their father been more involved in their life. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/12/2009 7:08:05 AM | As a single mom of a youg man I believe that a woman can teach a boy to be a man . I've been raising my son by myself since theday he was born and his a very smart and will behaved boy. I've been teaching him all the same things a man can. He can play football and basball and for his age he can help me work on cars. Why does a waman need a man to be around to help rais a boy when 9 out of 10 men in this world are still boys hemselves.
Yes I do belive a man can raise a girl on their own yes they will need help with somethings in a girls life but if a man is truely a man then he will find a way to raise a girl by his self. So once agin whats the true meaning of a "Man" in the eyes of most is a male you can take care of his self as long with his love loves . If he can do this with honesty and horn then he is a true man. If he keeps his word and takes resopblity for his actshines then his a trun true man! So yes I do belive that a woman can teach a boy to be a man . | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/12/2009 10:33:10 PM | Some fathers are better left out of their son's lives. They do the child a service by not being around. Both of my sons are sports oriented, college, military,. Just because the father wasnt there, doesnt mean they are Momma's boys. Neither of my sons are Momma's boys. They are more grounded, focused and dependable than there father could ever dream of being. They have long ago surpassed their father in Knowledge, Compassion, and Responsibility. They are independent thinkers, Planning their own lives before they are planning marriage and children. There were male teachers, band instructors, coaches, who filled in quite nicely for the so called Dad. While I, at home, set the example of everyone being responsible for themselves. All for one and one for all. They know how to cook, clean, and do their own laundry. To be responsible for themselves. They are good, strong, respectful, responsible, productive, compassionate, God fearing, young men. I dare any man to tell me he could have done better.
The typical father, is making himself obsolete. All women need is the sperm, and she has a family, without the drama of an egomaniac.
Sorry Church, your argument doesnt fly. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/12/2009 10:59:26 PM | | Every child deserves both parents. A women can teach a boy about women and their lives which in turn shows the boy the respect that is due her kind. She can show him what her struggles are which would teach him respect for her and him. There things that a father needs to be there for. Every boy wants a father but in reality a man must become a man through his own decisions. My opinion. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/12/2009 11:17:05 PM | It is true, every child does deserve both parents. But both of these parents have to be mature, responsible adults. Thats where we come upon the problem. Dead beat dad's are a dime a dozen. Most divorced dad's arent in the picture enough, by choice or default. My ex, his was by choice. he had better things to do than spend time with a 4 and 5 year old, , then they were 7 and 8, them 13 and 14, and finally 17 and 18 year old sons. Maybe it was that new Ho he was chasing every weekend, when he should have been spending it with his sons, bonding.
I take a lot of pride in my sons. Knowing they are themselves, not because of their dad, but in spite of him... He did teach them something all these years. how to not be that type of man. So see, everything does work out for the best. You just have to look for the silver lining. Time does show everything. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/13/2009 4:31:52 PM | | A woman can teach a boy to be a man, but it takes alot of patience and hard work. I am raising my son and he is a model child. I have a daughter as well who has received a scholarship and is always on the honors roll. Both kids have jobs and started working at 14 yrs old. It starts with honesty and respect. You have to have both of these element in your relationship with your kids so that they can trust you. Unfortunately kids learn from what they see not what you say. So if you are a good role model chance are that so will your kids be. If you are not honest with them they lose trust and respect. This doesn't mean that you have to tell them everything it just means that when they ask for clarification on something you should be as gentle as possible in your explanation and sometimes you may need to say I will tell you when I you are old enough to know and explain why they shouldn't know what ever it is, for example if they ask you questions that may interrupt their security explain that it isn't healthy yet for them to know because their brains aren't ready yet. Sometimes life throw curve balls and you a faced with very awkward situations that you may not be able to handle on your own. When this happens don't be afraid to ask for help from teachers, doctors, priests what ever you think can help the child deal with what may disturb their comfort, because the last thing you need is a tramatized child and there are alot of them out there. Especially in todays society when information is so easily accessible. Any way Mr O-T-B I'm just saying that it takes a community to raise a man or a woman but a woman who knows better and knows this can guide a child through these transitions. Oh and by the way my kids got their jobs with out me having to send them and they actually enjoy working. How ironic is that? | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/13/2009 5:31:40 PM | Sure she can, but I think it's very important that the woman be very balanced in her opinions and instruction.
I want my boys to be taught how to be a man by me and their mom. My role is to teach them to be tough, practical and steadfast. Their mom fills in with her perspective as a woman, how she prefers to be treated (as a woman), and provides the nurturing.
The same goes for my daughters. They need to be taught those things that a mother teaches and it's my role to teach them how a man should treat them. If they do not get this at home or close to it, they will be easily taken advantage of. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/15/2009 3:39:41 PM | | I agree. I think its important that children whatever their sex have male and female role models. However, I do think that children will attach themselves to trusted male and female role models that are not necessarily their parents. They meet so many people in life that influence them as they are growing up.. parents, teachers, relatives, friends, group leaders etc. So I think its possible for a woman to raise a boy and a man to raise a girl either as a couple or singlehandedly. The main thing is to ensure that the child has a healthy social circle and then it all falls into place as adults. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/15/2009 4:49:26 PM | I have 2 boys 13 & 15 and can honestly say that if they remember 1/2 of what Ive taught them they will grow up to be outstanding, respectable, hardworking young men. So my answer is yes, a woman can teach a boy to be a man.
And sadly, theres a whole lot of men out there who act like boys and I have no problem pointing that out to my kids to help them see real life examples and learn from it. | |
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simbax
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Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 466 | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/18/2009 2:22:51 PM | A woman cannot teach a boy how to be a man.... simply because "how to be a man" means absolutely nothing. Nor can a man teach a boy how to be a man, for that matter: it's a social construct. Every human is unique and different.
A parent - regardless of his/her gender - can and should teach a child how to be a decent HUMAN BEING. That includes how to think for him/her self, how to solve problems, how to act with ethics, how to speak his/her feelings and how to listen to other people's feelings, to name a few things. It does NOT include things like what that kid "should" like or not like as a hobby, how to act or not act around the "other" sex, weather or not he/she should hide his emotions (hint: nobody should, regardless of gender), or weather or not he/she should be dominant or submissive in their relationships with others (hint: it should be egalitarian and respectful, regardless of gender).
For the kid sake's, let him/her develop his or her interests and personality.
Your actions do not define your gender. Even your genetics have limited impact on gender, as opposed to how it is PERCEIVED from the social point of view. The only thing a woman cannot teach a boy is how to aim when he pee, and the only thing a man cannot teach a woman is how to handle her periods. Are we clear on this? And to think we are in 2009...  | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/18/2009 4:30:40 PM | Conscioussoul, very good points indeed...but I beg to differ with you.
I did teach my sons how to pee. I threw CHEERIOS in the toliet and told them to 'sink em'. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/18/2009 5:51:49 PM |
Conscioussoul, very good points indeed...but I beg to differ with you.
I did teach my sons how to pee. I threw CHEERIOS in the toliet and told them to 'sink em'.
Indeed :) And male gynecologist are just as professionals as female ones, even though they don't have the "proper" mechanics. Thanks for pointing this out... | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/31/2009 3:34:19 PM | | I try to raise my sons to be decent human beings by being one myself. I have to be honest, though, part of me says that nothing can really take the place of father son bonding and the example that a good man can set for boys. I truly wish that my ex husband would have taken more of a role in my boys' lives, but then again, if he were an involved parent we'd likely be together right now. I think it is a good thing that more men are pushing for shared custody, and, unless a non-custodial parent is in some way unfit, the custodial parent should make every effort to maintain a somewhat decent relationship with her/him, for the sake of the kids. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 3/31/2009 4:10:21 PM | I think that learning to be a man is something you figure out for yourself from a wide group of influences- and only a small part of that influence are your parents.
I could go on about how much each person might give a child about what a man is or isnt-
but EVERY ONE man or woman makes an impact on the sort of man a boy grows into
and because we just dont live in little isolated boxes we all contribute to that understanding from walking down the street to driving in our cars. to teaching a morals and justice class to how men talk to or about women while standing in a shopping check out line. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 4/27/2009 6:01:16 AM | If a woman has a son and he has no father figure then I think it is her duty to get him involved in some sort of activity where he can find role models that help him become the best man he can be.
The same goes for a man raising his daughter.
I am a woman and have no idea what it is like to raise a boy to a man. I don't know the little secret you guys have but you have them...just like girls do. I can't teach him many of the things that another man can.
Sure there are some wonderful men out there who had no fathers but no one knows what man may influenced their lives because he is too busy thanking his moma for everything....that just makes him smart....lol | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 5/11/2009 7:39:55 AM | Well, IMO it depends on the parent. I was raised (after age 5) solely by my father, who was actually old enough to be my grandfather. He had no idea what to do with girls so he raised us (3 boys, 2 girls) all the same. He taught us how to be self-sufficient, decent human beings. I can fish, hunt, do basic maintenance on a car and renovate -- all things that girls weren't taught in my generation.
I really did miss having a mom and although I'm a well-rounded person in experience, I had to teach myself how to be feminine. Does that make sense? On the other hand, I've seen first hand the competitive relationships that mothers and daughters seem to have and I'm glad I skipped all of the manipulation games that girls were taught back then.
On the other hand, God saw fit to give me many daughters and one son. I wish I had more positive male influences around for him while he was growing up (he's now 28). I thought I could teach him about doing the right things but as a teen he attached himself more to his dad and his peers - who are typical red neck "good ol' boys". Although he has my "work hard" ethic, at this time it doesn't seem like he wants to rise above his circumstances. However, when he needs someone to talk to, it's always Mom or his sisters because we have never used or betrayed him. If I could go back and raise him again, I'd do it differently. Instead of depending on influences and hoping he didn't have any bad ones, I'd teach him to BE the influence.
Things would be so much better for us all if all kids had both parents who were committed to raising honest, self-sufficient, confident and secure future adults. But that's not realistic anymore, it seems. | |
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