| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/7/2005 6:28:49 AM | | I agree....it is important to have positive male influences in boy's life. it doesn't have to be the dad if he is not around, but an uncle, a brother, a teacher, friend etc...My duaghter has a lot of positive male influence from family in her life, and I am so thankful for it. Every child needs both a female and a male role model. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/7/2005 7:13:42 AM | MoM2AmazingSon... How is a question ignorant?
I am relating my experiences and observations. I live on what's called "no daddy lane", yeah big joke. Every day I see mother's trying to manage it and the father's are absent...so I speak from my own experience.
I have two deadbeat dad exes that I refuse to chase down so that they can spend time with their children.
Yes, a single parent can raise healthy children...but in my view, it is far from ideal and there are pitfalls to this parenting style.
Ask any kid who didn't have a father around how they feel about it irrespective of how they turned out, good or bad, they would have preferred they had that other parent there. The same goes for mothers...this isn't gender specific.
This thread is about helping a boy to become a man and I assumed that meant in a relationship with them...or perhaps I misread and misunderstood.
I won't raise someone else's children unless I'm seriously involved with a man who has children. When it comes to a grown man, yes I will do my best to help him to be a better man but I sure as heck am not going to babysit his values and convictions for him. I expect a little more from a partner than that. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/7/2005 10:08:09 AM | a woman ABSOLUTLEY POSITVELY CANNOT teach a boy to be a man. not possible.
doesnt work.
he,ll be overly emotional easily intimidated and wont have any BALLS period.
thats why we dont have men like john wayne anymore.
men are a dying breed. soon enough the human race will be a single sex species.
the time for men has come and gone.
I,d say I,m getting to be the last of a dying breed | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/7/2005 2:03:04 PM | U r so wrong on that one buddy!
example, my mother. She raised my brother and he is FAR from emotional, hes got quite an attitude and trust me, hes not scared to say what he thinks.
There is nothing wrong with a man thats emotional, a real man isnt afraid to show who he is.
U can be emotional but yet have great character.
I am raising my son and he is far from emotional........ | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/8/2005 3:31:23 PM | Wow...I can only hope that you're the last of dying breed trvlingman. I don't want my son growing up to be a cold emotionless rock. I want my son to be able to cry and to be able to show his emotions. Yes, there aren't any John Wayne's anymore...THANK GOD!!
Women are allowed to be their own person now and aren't property in today's society. Not only is it good for them, but it was forced upon them by those same John Waynes who tried to keep them helpless. How many women back in the 50's wound up being abandoned by dead beat hubbies to be left to fend for themselves in a society that didn't give them the tools to survive? Fact of the matter is, women can't rely on men...they've been burnt time and time again. Long dead is the time when a woman was supposed to quietly take it while hubby was out scr*wing the town prostitute and coming home to beat her. Many of the men of yesteryear were cowards because they were too afraid to allow a person to be what they could instead of some sick societal expectation that spawned abuse, neglect, prejudice, violence, and ignorance. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/8/2005 5:23:00 PM | | I applaud you Victor. I raise my 2 sons by myself and now they are adult and not emotional. They are well respected, loved, well mannered and very polite. They were loved all along the way and very well guided. While raising them, I was called the drill sergant. Some mothers would ask me to take there children who had a father and try to make sense out of them. I never use violence in any way to guide them and they have grown to be gentleman. I am now raising a young daughter by myself and her dad is not in her life (his choice). I am there for her in every way and will guide her to be the best she will be and I am still a drill sergant. With love and guidance, a single parent can raise there child and it goes for a mother or a father. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/8/2005 5:44:16 PM | What is the definition of a Man?
What is the definition of Woman?
now all of us have our own ideas of each.
I dont' think a man or woman can teach a boy or girl to be one or the other.
We become man or woman because of no special reason, no special teaching from mommy or daddy.
I had neither and still became something between and man and boy, (whatever either one is) hope to never lose either one. I lile myself just the way I am.
What is one thing you can say or do to teach either one to be man or woman?
sign me the professional dummy. | |
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jaxxx
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Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 61 | |
| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/8/2005 7:40:28 PM | .
I hope that my kids can learn from me to be honest, caring , respectfull, happy, generous people , which in the end will make them better men. And I will take credit for them becoming men whether they turn out good or bad, since I am the only constant in their lives and I always will be there. Since the day they were born I am the one they look to for love and caring and discipline and knowledge. Sure they will see their dad and have a relationship with him but I am the one who is here so, whether others think I am qualified to "teach boys to be men" really dont live in our lives.
I know growing into a woman, there wasnt a special "rule" or "guideline" my mom had to follow or pass on too me. She was just my mom , she loved me cared for me and kissed my bumps and bruises. Once it was time she had to let me go and hope the knowledge she gave me was enough to make me a strong woman.
And some advise a great man gave me(not my father) was
"I am a woman and I can do anything a man can do, but I can do it better!" | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/8/2005 9:21:56 PM | | I did raise a boy to be a man.....with no help from the father.....he has finished his education....works two jobs....supports his family...is a GREAT father to his little princess...and stayed with is g/f through the whole delivery...encouraging her...helping her the best he could....he is mannerly.....curteous.....polite....respectful....sensitive.....helps me with his younger brother...hes athletic....takes care of himself.....doesnt judge other people.....is not prejudice...helps when help is needed.....he has set goals for himself and is well on his way to acheiving them....and I have nothing admiration for him...Im extremely proud of my son and how he turned out... now if that isnt a man I dont know what else is. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/9/2005 10:28:18 AM | | I cannot disagree more! I have 2 boys. I teach them to stand up for themselves, respect themselves and others, use manners, and speak up when they need to be heard! Their father is very active in their lives but is a bit more passive. My oldest (10yrs old) came to me to talk about sex! AND my father taught me to walk in high heels (up stairs with a book on my head), how to cook, and was there when my first boyfriend broke up with me in 7th grade! He taught me to respect myself and keep my dignity and to stand up for myself. Its the parent not the gender. I feel I have been given these boys because I can teach them TO be men. Most men will think of an important person in their childhood and USUALLy it's a woman, an aunt, grandma, or even a teacher! Dont under estimate the will of a mother! | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/9/2005 1:19:25 PM | | just because a mother can teach a boy to be a man and a father a girl to be a woman, doesn't mean it always works out. will anyone disagree that under most circumstances 2 solid role models: a mother and father, will lead to children turning out well? there are always exceptions where of the 2 parents, 1 of the parents neglect or abuse the children and also many cases where single parents have children who turn out to be great adults. but it's with the love and care of 2 parents, a male and a female role model, that children have the greatest chance to succeed in life. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/9/2005 4:51:46 PM | You make a good point. When I grew up my father was a big impact in my life and I have learned so much from him. What a lot of you people on here are missing is that: A boy or a girl needs a father to love them because a father is part of them. It takes 2 to make a kid. Many single mothers are on welfare and their kids are always running around our neighborhood(little kids) WHERE ARE THE MOTHERS! Fathers like me need our kid or kids because we love them and care for them. Why dont we talk about the lame mothers who do crank and drink in front of their kids.The bottom line is a child needs both parents because one parent cannot always give what the other one can. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/9/2005 5:56:01 PM | | absolutely... i was downtown (ottawa) the other day about 8pm in an area of town with only restaurants, pubs, bars and clubs and a number of street bums too. i was alarmed to see a group of 4-5 children about 6-8 years old riding around unsupervised on their bikes. where were there parent(s)? that type of high traffic area in the middle of a busy area is no place for children, especially at night. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/9/2005 6:05:59 PM | | Now your stereo typing single mothers. I believe a woman can raise a boy into a fine man. You can not make someone be someone they don't want to be. I am raising two kids by myself and I can not help that my ex husband (father of my children) chose to make the decisions he made and is not in there life now. All I'm saying is sometimes life doesn't always work out the way planned and you have to do the best you can. My son is eight and he is boy as boy can be. In my jounery in raising him I do boy things (fishing, hunting, sports, etc.) with him and he is close with my dad. Ive had one relationships since my divorce and as far as that he was good in being there for him just not me. There are other role models or men in his life he can look up to and learn boy things because I know I dont know how to be a man. All I can do is teach him right from wrong, morals, and do the best I can as far as a mother can all the rest will fall into place. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/9/2005 6:38:44 PM | there's no stereotyping going on by me. parent(s), guardian(s), etc... need to be responsible for their children. i have no idea whether the kids on the bikes had 1, 2 or no parents...
it is more difficult being a single parent (mother or father) managing all the responsibilities as a guardian and breadwinner. and i'm not blaming single parents for being single. all i know is that the ideal situation for children is to live with 2 loving parents. it's possible to raise a good child being single, but again 2 parent homes are ideal. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/9/2005 9:47:20 PM | Every family is different.
One of the main reasons I left my ex was so that my kids would NOT grow up to be like him. Raising them without his influence (he chose to never see them again, kinda tells you the kind of *man* he was) was the best thing that ever happened to my boys.
A man (if he is a decent man) can provide a positive influence in helping to shape a boy .. but that boy will still become a good man as long as he has a positive ADULT influence in his life.
At 11 and 13 they are already better men than most of the men they have known in thier lives. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/9/2005 11:03:27 PM | I don't know the answer to this question, but I'm trying the best I know how...my son's 13 and I've tried to cover all the bases...we're both kickboxers, so we can both kick ass if needed, he's become interested in girls and I've talked with him about that a lot! I've taught him to be a gentleman with girls, but I've also seen him take some crap from girls, and had to sit him down and set him straight, that no matter what, he is never to be a doormat for some girl, but he's also never to be disrespectful. I've even told him how he can tell if a girl wants to kiss him or not, and if she doesn't, then don't even try it!
Of course he has his dad and grandfather who have taught him to fish, ride dirtbikes, work on cars, motorcycles. His grandfather has also beaten it into his head that if he shows disrespect toward me, he's only a phone call away from a stern lecture. Grandpa has also beaten into his head that no matter what, he can never, ever hit a woman.
I do the best I can...and I see my little man starting to show signs of trying to be protective of me (ha! like I need it), he tries to take care of me if I'm sick, and he always compliments me on the way I look if I'm dressed to go out, get a new haircut, etc.
But make no mistake, I am the ruler of this household and he also tests his limits with me, and usually ends up sorry that he did. I baby the hell out of him, yes, but I take no crap from him either. He knows I can still kick his ass...lol
So can a woman raise a boy to be a man? I think so. Am I doing a good job? I don't know. | |
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| CAN A woman TEACH A boy how to be a MAN!
Posted: 7/10/2005 5:50:46 AM | "Many single mothers are on welfare and their kids are always running around our neighborhood(little kids) WHERE ARE THE MOTHERS! Fathers like me need our kid or kids because we love them and care for them. Why dont we talk about the lame mothers who do crank and drink in front of their kids.The bottom line is a child needs both parents because one parent cannot always give what the other one can."
I guess its just the mothers that do that huh? | |
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