| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 6/23/2009 8:23:13 AM | | When a guy is cool, and backs off, sometimes we end up getting together anyway, because then I didn't feel like he was some freak who couldn't take no for an answer. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/10/2009 1:38:46 PM | I have to admit that I petulantly block people (men) sometimes. And I have blocked a couple of females because they were abusing me, too. I have just unblocked everyone (well, "everyone" being 5 people, ever).
I guess I should just be a little more adult about it and ignore them like people do to me all the time.
Wait, that doesn't sound any more mature. FRIG! | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/10/2009 2:28:24 PM | Reading this thread cursed me. I hadn't had to block anyone, and then went back to my inbox to find some fresh hate mail.
That being said, I would be annoyed by a second email and I certainly don't do it. Think about it: do you really want someone that you have to hound to date you? | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/10/2009 6:22:17 PM | | I don't think blocking is rude. If somebody emails me and I politely reply saying "Thanks, but no" (actually, I don't say just that, I say the actual reason) and the guy keeps emailing you and keeps begging - why should I have to deal with it? I did it actually today. I am not here to date 29-year olds. I appreciate the interest but I expect them to accept that I do not wish to have a conversation (not to mention a relationship) with them. Isn't it equally rude to repeatedly keep emailing someone who already indicate that she/he is not interested? | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/10/2009 9:00:39 PM | | I usually save the block feature as a last resort. First unwanted contact, a polite and sincere, "No, thanks, because [reason]". Second unwanted contact, read and deleted. If second unwanted contact was polite and sane, no further action is necessary. If it is irate and/or insulting (which has happened to me twice thus far), the blocking-hammer comes down. If the blockage offends her at that point, serves her right for being obnoxious toward a nice person, you know? | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/10/2009 9:21:25 PM | | I have never blocked anyone, and find it amusing when I send a man an email and he replies to tell me that he is blocking me. Are women too dumb to realize that if a man does the read/delete thing without responding to my message , or the unread/delete thing that he is not interested. If he is not interested I sure as hell am not going to email him again to ask what is wrong with me or harrass him with unwanted emails. I have had one woman block me after she disagreed with everything that I had said in the forums, called me tacky names in a personal message and then sent me an email saying she would not read any email that I would send to her and would block me. Her behavior seemed so silly and childish to me. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/11/2009 12:33:42 AM | If someone emails me; I will read his profile and some of his posts. If I don't want further contact I block them. Persistence is not something that works with me .
I have seen people on this site that I have seen shall we say being less than desireable elsewhere and I delete them email or not.
If I read a profile that I know I am not going to be interested in that person I generally delete them also. Why set someone up to write that you are not interested in.
So if someone deletes me I assume it is the same reason. I don't take it personally. But then again I don't try to flame anyone; just not worth my time. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/11/2009 5:54:19 AM | Alright, I know there are alot of jerks out there that don't understand what "no" or "not interested" mean. If I notice that I have not recieved a reply or that a message has not been read, the lady is not interested. This is what bugs me, the other day I sent a message (i.e. it was a decent comment-nothing demeaning or disrespectful). The next day I saw that this particular lady had read but not responded to my first message. After typing a new message
In your own words
1) There are lots of jerks that don't understand what "no or not interested means"
2) You sent a message and did not get a response which means "not interested"
3) You didn't take "no" for an answer and proceeded to send another message
4) You wonder why some women choose to block people such as yourself.
You're a jerk for sure, as per your own post, but you're also a rather dense jerk.
Sorry to be the one to have to break it to you.
By the way..when I first started reading, I thought "yeah blocking a guy for sending a message is just rude". Now I know why they do it.
Seriously | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:00:01 AM | | Why assume that all people are going to bother you just because a few have? I find this to be a bit dense and egotistical. However I do agree that the previous poster should not have sent another message....if a man reads a message and does not respond, it is because he does not want to, and I will not contact him again. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:04:12 AM |
gdog,
persistance also pisses people off so why don't you stop being so pushy.
i'd block you too...
That's just insane, in my opinion. I am one of those ladies for whom persistance pays, and will often need that little "nudge" that I get with a second email. Plus, it shows me that he's probably REALLY interested, and not just sending an email to everyone he sees here, hoping for a response from anyone. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:17:18 AM | crazy.catlady says: That's just insane, in my opinion. I am one of those ladies for whom persistance pays, and will often need that little "nudge" that I get with a second email. Plus, it shows me that he's probably REALLY interested, and not just sending an email to everyone he sees here, hoping for a response from anyone.
Thanks to this post, lots of women will now be receiving unwanted multiple emails from guys who have already messaged them. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/11/2009 11:36:16 AM |
Thanks to this post, lots of women will now be receiving unwanted multiple emails from guys who have already messaged them.
OMG, you're right! I'm soooo sorry, I forgot what a total pain in the a$$ it is to take a moment to send a polite reply when someone responds to the profile that THEY have created...hoping for a response.
Seriously? Are we all THAT rude?! | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/11/2009 11:40:24 AM | I seriously think there's a world of difference between a second contact and being "hounded". Again I ask, are we really THAT rude? Apparently many of us are, and think it is perfectly ok. It's not.  | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/12/2009 2:22:25 PM |
I usually save the block feature as a last resort. First unwanted contact, a polite and sincere, "No, thanks, because [reason]". Second unwanted contact, read and deleted. If second unwanted contact was polite and sane, no further action is necessary. If it is irate and/or insulting (which has happened to me twice thus far), the blocking-hammer comes down.
I wish there were more women like you out there. I haven't been blocked that I know of myself and have never blocked anyone either. I totally agree with your stance. Granted, there are many people(men and women both) that will be rude after telling them that you are not interested but on the other side of that coin, there are many that will just reply saying thank you for letting them know as well. I myself am part of that second group. If I send someone a message and they don't respond then I probably won't send a second one myself, but if they at least take the time to let me know that they are not interested then I would thank them for taking the time to let me know as well. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/12/2009 2:39:26 PM |
That's just insane, in my opinion. I am one of those ladies for whom persistance pays, and will often need that little "nudge" that I get with a second email. Plus, it shows me that he's probably REALLY interested, and not just sending an email to everyone he sees here, hoping for a response from anyone.
That's nice and all, but why would you need more than one email?
Not saying there's anything wrong with that, but from what I've seen and heard, most women don't take too kindly to a guy writing to him especially after she has read/deleted his messages. I'd at least have some pride to step back and say it didn't work, so on to the next person who will respond accordingly and is that interested in me to the point where I don't have to bombard her with emails like some madman. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/12/2009 3:20:21 PM |
I definitely don't appreciate persistence when I've clearly shown I wasn't interested in someone
While I can appreciate that, what does clearly showing not interested involve. While I can understand the opinions of the ladies here I can also understand the OP. If I would send a message and see read/deleted then I have no doubts in my own book but there are women out there like the ones that the OP was talking about that are actually waiting for that second email to find if the person was truly interested or not. If you are not interested then go ahead and delete the first message. We can see that and many men will take the hint. If it's not deleted then we have no idea if you are waiting for the second message or not.
JMO | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/12/2009 7:01:21 PM |
If I notice that I have not recieved a reply or that a message has not been read, the lady is not interested. So then, why were you trying to send her another message, after she didn't reply to your first one? She blocked you to stop you from doing exactly what you tried to do.
However, it would be nice, if it would tell you that you've been blocked when you first try to click "reply," rather than letting you type the email THEN tell you when you try to "send" it. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/12/2009 8:43:37 PM | | If a man writes to a woman, she owes him a reply. How the reply is written is up to her. Ignoring a note is rude by anyone. And if a woman is on this site to find a man, stop being rude and write back even if it is to say no thanks. As for blocking, never, never block someone unless they are vulgar or mean. Blocking someone and then checking out their frontpage everyday is a sign of stupidness. Yes, I have had several women block me and never have had contact but they keep on looking at my frontpage everyday. Get a life chicks. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:11:37 PM |
That's just insane, in my opinion. I am one of those ladies for whom persistance pays, and will often need that little "nudge" that I get with a second email. Plus, it shows me that he's probably REALLY interested, and not just sending an email to everyone he sees here, hoping for a response from anyone. That's nice and all, but why would you need more than one email?
It's not that I NEED more than one email, it's just that sometimes I've gotten a LOT of email in a short-ish amount of time, and may have gotten offtrack re replies when I end up in a full out conversation with one person - which will happen if he's online and replies immediately, and a discussion ensues. Sometimes it takes awhile for me to get back to going through my inbox and replying to all of my messages due to stuff like this (the immediate discussion) making me preoccupied. In cases like that, I actually appreciate getting the little "nudge" of a second email. Or, sometimes I'm just thinking about the email, trying to decide how I want to reply, and he sends a second email while I'm still just thinking about it.
For the record, "read and delete" is not my standard M.O. If I know that I'm not interested, I simply send a note explaining why I don't think we'd be a good match. Often I will get a reply to that message, even though I've made it clear I'm not interested, and I still won't block him. After all, we ARE civilized...no? | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:23:09 PM | | you know, I am seeing a pattern goin on here. It seems that many of the ladies have had bad experiances along the way and as a result cut use guys off quickly with impunity. Propblem: I haven't emailed anyone a second time(on perpose) if they didn't respond to me. Also I have never been sexual, rude, or asuming( yes I know my spelling sucks) to anyone here or on other sights. Yet I sure have reaped the consequences of it ALOT! Ladies, when did it become ok to judge people before giving them a chance???? | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/12/2009 10:04:13 PM | | Blocking is the perogative of each person if they want to they certainly can. Unfortunately there are men out there who hound, harass and are obtuse enough to warrant blocking. On same token plenty of women that do the same & likewise deserve blocking. You do risk losing opportunity to meet good people though via the second email/persistence thing. If you enjoy blocking ppl for whatever reasons, then block away but you're also going to block some of the 'good apples' too in the process. I don't understand the comment about teaching etiquette to our children then saying we are all adults here and can understand there's no need for etiquette here? That seems hypocritical. We should teach children and we ourselves should be assertive and confront when needed; however, all of that can be done in a civil and non-harmful way. Last but not least, lack of etiquette & understanding from another person is a reflection of them, not you. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/13/2009 9:22:00 AM |
Often I will get a reply to that message, even though I've made it clear I'm not interested, and I still won't block him. After all, we ARE civilized...no?
I can't speak for everyone, but I'd like to consider myself someone who's civilized, however there are guys who aren't and just don't take rejection well, in which case it's best to delete them without the situation getting worse. That's just my stance on it. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/13/2009 9:33:21 AM | Persistence is not something that works with me .
Same here. I have about 3 or 4 people on my block list, and I can assure you that they are on there for a good damn reason.
I usually just keep ignoring those who send a second email, and if they send more than two, more than likely they will be blocked.
This woman obviously blocked OP because she knew that he would probably try sending a second email, in which he did.
I think I will just start doing the read/delete, instead of having messages just sit in my inbox, because people seem to think that read but not deleted means that we still have some form on interests just because their message wasn't deleted. Or they assume that we just didn't have time to get back to them, which obligates them to send another email. | |
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| Proper Blocking etiquette
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:43:29 PM | (/quote)
I agree totally.
I said No nicely but he abused me and blocked me. However, I cannot block him to stop him sending more abusive emails after that!!
POF should do somehting about that. | |
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