| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 11:35:19 AM | | Yes i really have to agree with you there monarchmom about people lying about themselves.I dont know what their thinking by doing that cause when you do meet and everything they said is a complete opposite about themselves,it just makes you wonder how they will ever end up in a relationship and there is women on here also that lie about themselves in order to attract someone and you meet them and it just turns me off and ihate wasting my time also about this. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 11:49:31 AM |
My point was that everyone tells lies about something to someone, and everyone (as you have exhibited) has their degree of acceptability of lies.
This is NOT true.
Lying is a choice.
If you choose to lie - that's your choice. But do not assume that because you are guilty of it, everyone is and does.
It's simply not the case. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 12:03:02 PM | hi mlt09. of course you don't have to pretend to be a size 1, you're a smoking hottie, almost as cute as your dog. personally, i found your age parameters quite appropriate. your profile clearly shows that you are a very well-balanced woman. you're well-educated but not a snob about it. believe me, the women are just as bad. my first online date turned out to bemuch older-looking and 30-50 heavier than she presented herself. she was also late and blamed me for not being where she told me to be.
re smoking, i'm in the same boat as you. smokers as agroup have to be the most self-centered, clueless people on the planet. they act as if their "right to smoke" is in the constitution. doesn't matter to them that their habit kills over 50000 people annually. i've dated a couple of polite smokers who would smoke on the patio and that was okay. but when smokers come over to my house, see no ashtrays and yet light up immediately, i have a real problem. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 12:25:40 PM | ~OT~ Not all that long ago I met someone (not from POF) and he had indicated a few things via email that simply were NOT adding up. Subsequently ~ he had a terrible time remembering what lies he had told me with regard to time-lines. He made reference to the age of his oldest child, her graduation from grad school, later on, he mentioned his age when she was born. I asked twice. "She's how old now?" He realized that things simply were NOT correct and attempted to change the subject with some flippant remark about "When you have four girls, you can't really remember those silly details." Riiiiiiigggggggghhhhhht!!!! He was an age-liar. I didn't need clarification of that as I could clearly see it the minute we met. He was definitely NOT the 45 he claimed. His body could have easily been 45 or younger, his eyes? They told an entirely different story. For me? It was over the minute he started to cover up his cover. Everyone views age differently ~ I only worry about how I view it. JMO  | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 12:52:24 PM | I think this topic has been done before.
I've heard people lie about their age in here...I think often times its because
their age puts them out of range for certain searches...women who are 51 are automatically out of the search criteria for men (their age) who are looking for
women under 50. Now why these people don't fess up as soon as they make contact...I have no clue.
Its not always a nice world out there...and I think people try to mold themselves to what they think people are looking for. I'm not saying it's right...I'm saying I understand why it happens.
What I don't understand is why they continue with the farce.
To each their own I guess. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 2:00:24 PM | I hear what each of you are saying. I still stand by my original thought that age is a fact, a number, not something arbitrary. However, a person's discomfort with their own age and his or her lack of character (my opinion) to be honest about it are total turn offs.
Just as some of you have mentioned, that a person should not be defined by a number, or shut out of a search because of their chronological age, I think the person lying, is making it just about the number....because in my book, the deceit and trying to manipulate my likes/dislikes, preferences in a future partner far outweigh any number issue.
If I weighed 225lbs at my height of 5'5", but chose the athletic body type on my profile, you would question my info not adding up. Just like I questioned last night's guy lying about his age, the reaction of "what? I'm not doing anything any one else doesn't do on theirs..." Would that make me attractive in your eyes? Or would you look at me as insecure and that in itself, unattractive?
What is wrong with a person having an age preference? Some people prefer brown eyes, or tall men, or curvey women, or non smokers, or college educated, why shouldn't we be honest so that we can represent ourselves as honestly as possible? | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 3:55:30 PM | If it is all about the search criteria...then they should do what one of my female friends here, does....have her age listed below 50, but VERY CLEARLY STATE in her profile her real age and the reason. (search criteria)
Personally...I do not see how it affects search criteria, PERIOD. When I specify ages, body types, hair, non-smokers, location, etc...I STILL get the young uns, the long hair, the million miles away, etc. So I think it is really just an EXCUSE. LOL | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 4:06:26 PM | | It does matter when they lie about anything,because sure enough there is usually more to it. I met a "cowboy" he talked about his ranch and horses,his picture was one of a very handsome man. I love horses and he seemed nice in emailing and talking on the phone, He was at least 10 years older than his picture,lived with some other woman,this ranch was not real at all. And no ways near 6 ft tall. Well maybe with the tall cowboy boots and 10 gallon hat. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 5:28:17 PM | I think the obvious porky-pies about profession or location (come on, it's a joke if someone says they're a ninja or live at the Comandante Ferraz Brazilian Antarctic Base) are one thing, and possible perception differences about body types or personality are yet another.
But out-and-out fabrications about such things as age or marital status are simply ridiculous (to me) . I find it pathetic. (I don't count slight height discrepencies in middle-aged men as the same thing. I'm quite convinced a lot of men don't realize they're an inch or two shorter than they were at 20 due to natural shrinkage, poor posture, etc.)
I'm not going to claim I've never told a lie, by the way. I'm not proud of it, and it's rarely worked out well, but I have. I now attempt waffling rather than lying, which serves me better most of the time. Being a single person, for years I was invited to a family member's place for Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas dinner, etc. Her style of cooking is nauseating to me (soggy, canned vegetables for example), so I just started saying thanks but I have other plans. So far, so good. I haven't had to fess up that my "other plans" are "anything or nothing, as long as I don't have to eat that dinner." | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 5:54:59 PM | A lot of men in there 40's lie about there age and post an age in the 30's and they think we dont notice. Pleeeez! who do they think they are kidding.
Insecure dumb asses! | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/29/2009 7:20:54 PM | | Acually these people that do this are doing us all a favor and saving us from wasting anymore time on them-by allowing us to know right from the "get - go" they are deceitful and dishonest,,,hmmm,,,,,what else would they lie about??Marital status?? Probably.Run like hell,,,,,,,lol | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/30/2009 1:44:23 AM | | im not to sure, i dont surf a lot of guys profiles, but this is also very prevalent behavior from women. i have seen many women claim to be 25, and i know there like 35. i guess when you see it you just have to ignore it. you cant start a relationship with someone who doesnt take this seriously enough to be honest about their age. i mean you know eventually the person will find out, so it just makes it look like your here for sexy time, not a relationship. i know historically its quite common for women to lie about their age, i didnt know there were so many guys doing it. pretty pathetic.. | |
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Jim978
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Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 39 | |
| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/30/2009 2:32:05 AM |
I really don't feel it's that big of a deal. The USA is insanely obsessed with youth. Everyone is meant to be young, look young, feel young, etc. etc. etc. I can't blame people for wanting to shave a few years off their age-- it's the twisted culture here where aging is viewed as either a catastrophe or a disease.
The funny part of that is that it is the very people that are obsessed with age that are doing the lying.
I can understand the desire of some to shave off a year or two to make themselves appear to be under one of the mile-markers (i.e. 40, 50, etc...). But they know damn well that they're going to get caught at some point. Do they really think that they'll be able to BS someone else into accepting them at that point because they are so wonderful?
The whole thing is just stupid. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/30/2009 6:50:30 AM | This doesn't have to be "male bashing" because women do the same thing, but YES! I have had this happen to me and it is amusingly frustrating.
It is amusing because whom do they think they can fool? Do they think we are all idiots and can't tell a 50 year old man from a 58 year old man? Do they think that we will say, "Wow, I KNOW this man/woman lied about his/her age/weight/status but ya know, he/she is just so lovable and great, I'll go for him/her anyway?" (Notice the PC, lack of male bashing in this paragraph.)
Some are outright liars, and others are a bit delusional. I met a man who said his pics were old but he hadn't changed them because he "looked the same" as he always had. When I contrasted the smooth face in the pictures with the deep furrows under his eyes, I disagreed.
It is frustrating because of the waste of my time.
Age is not arbitrary, and the truth will always come out. Men AND women just need to be honest.
Edit:
I really don't feel it's that big of a deal. The USA is insanely obsessed with youth. Everyone is meant to be young, look young, feel young, etc. etc. etc. I can't blame people for wanting to shave a few years off their age-- it's the twisted culture here where aging is viewed as either a catastrophe or a disease.
But it is a big deal. I am 56 years old. If I hooked up with a man in his 70s, the great odds are that I will be taking care of a senior citizen in a few years and will be a widow in my early 60s--which means that I will have to do this dating thing over again if I want a partner.
If a man is 70 and lies, saying he is 63/64, he is wasting my time. It isn't about being obsessed with youth or trying to be young, it is about odds and why I am on a dating site.
And yes, I could partner with a man who is 45 and he could develop cancer or get hit by a car, but why would I begin a relationship with the odds stacked against "us"?
To paraphrase Gertrude Stein, "A lie is a lie is a lie is a lie is a lie is a lie." There are things that I wouldn't tell a casual date, but neither would I make up a lie about something so obvious as my age or weight. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/30/2009 7:27:08 AM | I can "almost" accept someone (male or female) who "adjusts" their age to reflect what age they might look like. However, the problem is that the individual usually sees themselves a lot younger than they truly look. It's one thing if friends and complete strangers guess your age to be 10 years younger than you are, but to intentionally use false advertising to attract someone is a start off to a bad start.
I have received comments about my age from people I've only met online as well as in person. They say I look younger and some have even suggested I should put a younger age. Nope, my age is backed up with my birth certificate.
If a woman is "creative" with her age and she tells me in her first email and assures that her pictures are current, then I can go with that. Not much room for being much foregiving past that (for me anyway). People that do adjust their age need to understand that they are misrepresenting themselves and they should not expect anything more than someone contacting them with misrepresentation. Karma has a way of making things right. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/30/2009 7:53:47 AM |
They say I look younger and some have even suggested I should put a younger age.
People tell me that I looked younger all the time--I take it with a boulder of salt.
People can lie about their ages and it will even be accepted, but NOT because the person looks five or ten years younger: it is because the person "accepting" the age as truth thinks either: hmmmm . . . this man/woman looks much older than he/she is; OR hmmm . . . this person is lying about his/her age but I am polite and won't call him/her out on it. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/30/2009 6:37:19 PM | I actually have never caught someone doing this but I can't play detective for the rest of my life. I trust people because I want to and if it ends up being a lie it's their stuff they are the ones who have to wonder if they are going to get caught. My question is why ? Why put yourself through that? Don't you want someone to want you for who you are? Lies always surface sooner or later. I know that age is one of the harder things about getting older.lol It just seems so unreal sometimes . However if you take care of yourself you will make the engine last a lot longer. Maintenance Maintenance Maintenance
My freind says to me when I drink my green stuff that all I am doing is extending my diaper years and I say yea but I am also extending the time before someone else has to do the diapering also. lol | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/30/2009 7:52:39 PM | | I dated someone that after we dated months changed her social networking website age to two years younger. Funny thing is that she left her real birthday posted. It was funny. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/30/2009 8:25:38 PM | I guess the thing I have a problem with is...it is not like we CHOOSE our age...we are born when we are born...period. LOL I mean...if it is about problems with aging...well, I hate to be the one to point it out...but lying about your age does not magically change the aging process.
Just plain stoopid, I tell ya. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/30/2009 8:47:32 PM | | If someone is going to lie to me about something as simple as their age, then why should I stick around to see how they handle the bigger things in life. And the fact that somone is that insecure about thier age to the point they need to lie about is even more of a reason for me not to get involved. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/30/2009 11:22:01 PM | | i get men lying about their height, thats something you cant fake, one guy was 3 inches shorter and an inch shorter then me, but every guy i talk to says women lie about their weight and they meet them and the women are fat, i look just like my pics, im only a size 7, and almost 5'8. i would be so embarrass to show up at 75,-100lbs + bigger. thats deceitful | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 4/30/2009 11:39:40 PM | | What does age really have to do with it? Unless you are being contacted by the very very old who only wants a caretaker and companionship, or the very very young, who only wants a caretaker and get laid by older chicks. lol | |
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