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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/1/2009 8:16:06 AM |
A lot of men in there 40's lie about there age and post an age in the 30's and they think we dont notice. Pleeeez! who do they think they are kidding.
Insecure dumb asses!
It's a good thing women don't do this. That would be so out of character.  My whole life, I've seen the women around me lie about just about everything about themselves... Including age. Wonder bra... Your breasts aren't that big. Pantyhose... Your butt isn't that firm, and your legs aren't either. Girdles... Not so common anymore, but your waist isn't that small. High heels... You're not that tall. Hair coloring... You're not really a blonde. Make-up... Who are you and what happened to the girl I met in the club last night?
The age thing is something that is done by people who've realized that they are not going to be seen by a large percentage of people on a dating site... because of their age. Some of those people can get by with it, because they are still attractive and would have been overlooked otherwise (due to search parameters based on a negative preconception of people past a certain age). Most cannot. (I don't do it myself, because I don't really care. I'm not desperate to find a date, or a mate.) I can't count the number of times I've seen "35 year old women" that look at least 60. Either they are very genetically unfortunate, or deluding themselves in how many years they can knock off and be believable. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/1/2009 9:57:43 AM | ... Everyone on here is lying?
You should have replied, "Maybe I was just hoping you weren't one of them."
*CLICK* | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/1/2009 3:14:44 PM | I have heard quite a few times of men lying about their age on dating sites.
Its pretty simple really, its so they dont have to date anyone their own age.
Young is beautiful !
Women are just as bad but in a different way.
Many have old pictures on POF.
I have had numerous dates who turned up looking like their mother ! | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/1/2009 5:59:32 PM | No one has ever shown me a picture of what I am supposed to look like at my age , so I don't know if I look my age or not.
I do know, I have been a daughter, a wife, a mother and now a grandmother. I have cried, Laughed, worried and been stressed and I am sure it that it shows. But I'm happy to have been able to have those experiences and hopefully will have many more.
So, you can judge me on my age, it is right there on my profile for all to see.
For those of you that say age is just a number, why lie about it? I won't judge you on that, but I will judge you for trying to start something based on a lie.
Be happy you have made it how ever far you have. Consider the alternative. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/1/2009 6:20:56 PM | I'm sorry to hear about that. Every time I hear about guys on dating sites like the one you met, I shudder.
Might as well be up front and honest on a dating site. You will be busted once you do find someone, and odds are they won't like it when they do find out. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/1/2009 7:00:04 PM | The funny thing is that there are two threads here where the women are doing the same thing. They are both dating younger men, and their profiles are showing them both 8 & 10 years younger than they are. One was busted, but she ignored the posters who outed her. The other states her real age in another post, but no one seems to have picked up on it as yet.
I think it's a bad way to start a relationship, and don't see the point since they'll be found out sooner or later.
Brandie | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/1/2009 7:37:45 PM | | The last man I met up with looked almost 70. He had dyed his hair black only to add to the injury. Kinda scary and the longest hour of my life. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/1/2009 8:20:48 PM | People who lie about age, height, occupation, education, interests, skills, accomplishments, not smoking or anything else to attract someone in their scope, will soon be shuttled to the end of the line, when their lack of transparency is discovered. They are likely thinking you will meet... and suddenly the fact that they are 15 years older than previously claimed will be overlooked because of their multitude of other charms.
Not so....the mind becomes too distracted by the deception to be able to consider any of their other potentially attractive attributes. All you can think is....WTF was this dude thinking and how can I extricate myself from this situation??? Yes....that is what we are thinking. So, get editing those profiles and stop with the BS. There is infinite more possibility in reality than your fantasies. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/1/2009 9:20:36 PM | Just say to yourself ...... "everyone (men & women) is lying about their age "........ and go from there ....... it's far too common !!!!
It is what it is ............ get used to it ......... or go off on it and get angry , and make yourself crazy !!!!!!!
My dad always told me ........" Sh!t sinks and the truth floats to the surface" ..........................
You are 43 ...... how bad would it be if you met the love of your life and he was 53 ????
Would you kick him to the curb ????? | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/1/2009 10:25:22 PM | Lots of things are slightly off in my profile - including age, sign, zip code, etc. I state that in the body. However, this profile is here for the use of the forums. When I had a real dating profile, everything was spot on. Even now if someone contacts me, I'm upfront in the first or second email.
I would like to suggest that if the site required a weight, in pounds or kilograms, rather than a self-described "body type" we'd have a whole different set of complainants in these threads! 
In the same spirit, why can body type be answered "Prefer not to say" while age cannot? (This one actually surprised me - I always thought it was impolite to ask a lady her age, yet here it's spelled out in black and baby blue for all to see.)
Just food for thought. Let the roasting begin! | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/1/2009 10:43:57 PM |
Lots of things are slightly off in my profile - including age, sign, zip code, etc. I state that in the body. However, this profile is here for the use of the forums. When I had a real dating profile, everything was spot on. Even now if someone contacts me, I'm upfront in the first or second email.
I find this so very interesting. I'm not meaning you personally, I mean your tactic. Your logic (I think is what I mean). You clearly state that you are upfront in the first or second email, yet in your profile:
I will be very cautious revealing personal information at first, since that would link the identifiable me with the outlandish stuff I'm likely to write.
You clearly state you won't be divulging anything without caution. You claim to be posting outlandish stuff in here (I don't think it's outlandish, but we all view those things differently) you state you're here for forums, but you add in there "primarily" in the first sentence of your profile, which is an immediate indicator to me that you are here for multiple reasons (which is great, it's a dating site) ~ but yet you hold firm to some "mysterious" stranger thing? The only question I'd really like an answer to? Is it working for ya? Really? I mean in the vast number game here, I think most people need an angle. Maybe the key is what you're doing ~ be slightly available, yet aloof, disengaged, distant, whatever ~ but get the mail coming into the inbox and see what the bait might catch. I think it's brilliant if it's working. If it isn't, hmmmm ~ I dunno.
~OT~ I think most people lie to some degree. I obviously lie about my city of origin (we lost a fellow-forum poster when her stalker found her via her city/state on her profile here, since then I leave my city off.) I don't list my profession, if I have a car, my level of education, etc. Those are things that I discuss if/when there is a reason to do so. It's quite rare that interest gets to that point for me here ~ I'm not opposed to it once there is established communication, I might even mention my son's real name (not likely for a LONG time, but maybe.) Anonymity is a little different than out-and-out deception. I don't see age-lying as a way to anonymity. JMO
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/1/2009 11:20:03 PM | I have two main reasons for wanting to remain anonymous. I say the same thing to anyone who asks.
One, I don't want to offend or scare away any current or future clients. Image is a big deal with some companies. Whether what I say will or will not adversely affect a particular hiring manager's decision, I don't know. I'd prefer to err on the side of not risking my livelihood.
Two, I don't want my kid or my kid's classmates to stumble upon my sexual opinions or exploits. I think avoiding embarrassment for me and them is prudent.
You clearly state you won't be divulging anything without caution.
My first line of caution is knowing (with reasonable certainty) that I'm talking to someone not in one of the above two categories and not posted openly where it will be archived in perpetuity.
Is it working for ya?
Yes. I'm able to post in the forums with relative comfort and security. That truly is my purpose.
As to the question I believe you were really asking... Yes, far better than I'd expected. However, not as well as when I had a "real" profile with clear pictures, detailed interests and several paragraphs in my profile.
I think it best if we don't hijack this thread, though. My restrictions are lax, feel free to contact me. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/1/2009 11:32:47 PM | ^^^No need. You answered my question. Thanks.
~OT~ Case in point ^^^^^ sometimes lying has "reasonable" intent. I still don't want anything to do with an age-liar. JMO | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/2/2009 12:11:01 AM | For me,a man lying about his age isn't as much about the deceit (although it's a big red flag) as much as the type of man I'm interested in and drawn to. I'm drawn to men that are confident and comfortable with themselves. They don't have to be Adonis, a CEO, etc. But they need to be comfortable in their own skin, because I'm also a confident lady.
So I feel that if a man needs to lie about his age, for whatever reason, he's not happy with himself.
In less than a year, I've had the majority of men I've communicated with turn out to be older or much larger than they professed. That's not even gettting into the men that temporarily changed their location or marital status. Really a sad commentary for online dating, if you ask me.
I did get a chuckle that the majority of posters are women, and also that living in the Los Angeles area was an excuse for lying. Maybe if you're an actress...but for finding a relationhship? Are you serious? | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/10/2009 2:47:17 PM | I haven't encountered as much lying about age as much as I have encountered lying about body type and of all things ... height.
Many men see their 50 - 60 pound bellies as "A Few Extra Pounds" and then add about 3" to their real height.
I have encountered men who write "Average" weight (but I can already see on the picture they are overweight) and who write they are 5' 9" (for example). Since for a long time, I really made it clear that all I was seeking was friends, I wasn't too concerned about it, but I admit that I do confront men who lie.
When I meet them and they appear to be 11 - 12 months pregnant, I do let them know they lied. When I meet them and they are able to look me in the eye while I am sporting sandals (I'm 5' 3")... I let them know they lied.
Then of all things ... some say ... "Well, I wasn't sure exactly how tall I am." That's when I look at them and say ... "Then you haven't been to the doctor lately ... right? I happen to know (as a nurse) we are required to weigh each patient at every visit and once per year, we measure their height ... and we tell them what it is."
BTW ... some actually joke and say ... "What are a few inches one way or the other?" And then I say, "Sincerely? In some cases it makes a 'big' difference ... but I don't take yardsticks on my dates."
Anyways OP ... the lying is very common and yes, they do it so they can get younger ladies to sit up and take notice ...
I have so many friends on here that are so turned off by it ... and we also all agree that those who are lying about something so obvious ... are bound to be lying about other things that are not so obvious.
Bottom line ... they cannot be trusted. Give them all kinds of space. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/10/2009 3:29:15 PM | And the same thing has happened to me over and over with women that I have met from this site.
Much heavier, not fit, not as educated as they put on their profile, and yes, not the age that they have listed.
I think, for the most part, that men will fudge their height, and condition out of wishful thinking, and women will their weight/body type, and age, out of wishful thinking about the selection process as well.
Do I think that ALL these people can not be trusted? No......I just think most of them do not want to be eliminated from the selection process without a chance to meet and find out first.
Maybe we are all delusional to some degree, and see ourselves in a mirror of our total history, and not reality, or maybe we just want to be given a chance? No matter which way it is, I will give the benefit of the doubt until I meet them, and then let reality and how it affects me take over.
If I am attracted to someone, meet them and it still exists, and the chemistry gets to be there, along with compatibility, I truly do not care about their age, condition, or height, if I am still wanting to be with them. The point here is to get to that situation of finding out.
It is amazing to me though, that so many on here will cast those stones when I am not so sure that they do not live is glass houses as well, and there are many parts of ourselves that we do not divulge, until the time is right.
I do not want to be excluded from anyone's list because of my age, height, or weight, until they meet me in person and then decide. It can be so disconcerting to be in the mix with those that are happy with me, enjoy me, and want to know me, and see no real difference between us, but on here, I can not even talk to them or be able to give either one of us that choice.
So cotter, my dear friend, I know my true worth, and my ability to be kind and trust worthy, and somehow I know that many would be happy to know me, no matter my age, if they would just take the time to find out, and I am sorry that you do not feel that way.
Just my opinion........  
PS........And as one that has been on here for years and years, and played with the age thing, when we could, from 30 all the way to 99, I am sorry that POF will not allow us to change category once more.......for my reality as well. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/10/2009 4:17:57 PM | | OP, I had one guy do the same thing to me. He had on his profile that he was 10 years younger than he actually was. When a situation came up that he had to give information to someone about his identity and I was there, the age popped up on the screen and I asked him about it. He acted like it wasn't a big deal that he had lied to me and even insisted lying about age was not a lie...I just couldn't believe I was actually hearing that. It was a big deal to me...not the age, but the lie. I told him I didn't care about his age, but I did care a great deal that he lied to me. He just couldn't get what I was saying and thought nothing about lying. I told him that when someone lies about a minor thing like age, the other person will wonder what else they are lying about. He got all bent out of shape and accused me when he was the one at fault. He said that I never asked him about his age, so it was my fault. I asked him why that would be necessary when I read it on his profile...or as least read what I thought was his age on it. He also had a very inflated ego, so maybe that has something to do with it. He told me that he looked younger than he was, so he put the age he thought he looked...another excuse. He had the twisted idea than his chronological age was not his true age, but the age he thought he looked was...the guy also had some issues more than just age denial. He also added several inches to his height, exagerated his fitness level, and told me he was very good looking, which is for others to judge, not him. He was so confident that he was right about the lying about age that he told his teenaged son about my reaction and was joking about it when he told me his son said that my reaction was normal considering what he had done. I broke up with him shortly after that incident. If someone will lie about small things, how can you trust them with more important things. He is on here under a new name/profile and new age...still younger than he really is but this time 5 years younger instead of 10. Some people will never learn...just be yourself and stop lying. Eventually you will be found out and could lose the person you really care about because of dishonesty. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/10/2009 4:40:32 PM | | I don't know why people do this either. I've had four guys lie about their age. I even have a close guy friend lie about his age when meeting a girl that was his age! He said he didn't know why either. I guess people don't like the feeling of growing older. But starting out any relationship with a lie, is usually a bad start! | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/10/2009 4:53:40 PM |
If someone lies to their children about the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, or Santa, does that make people wonder what else they would lie about?
You're comparing apples with oranges, we engage our children's imaginations and need for story-telling. Deliberately misrepresenting yourself to somebody you're hoping to get to know is fraud.
My profile is a great example of an outright lie. I deliberately lied about my profession, as so many others do. Does it mean I'm a compulsive liar?
Doesn't make you a compulsive liar, just makes you an ordinary one.
Nope, I'm basically a very honest person,
You've just admitted to deliberately lying on your profile and you're defending people who lie on their profile.
If something, i.e. absolute truth on a profile, is important to you, put it on your own profile. That way, a person who knows they are lying can either tell you right up front, or won't waste their or your time.
Ummm, are you saying you have to actually ask someone not to lie to you for them not to lie? And if you specifically ask the liars not to lie, they won't? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, if you read a person's profile you are entitled to expect at least the basics to be accurate!
The OP has a valid complaint, the sense of entitlement these people have when they've been caught-out is amazing to the point of being delusional.
Nobody says you can't put your best foot forward, but people who deliberately misrepresent the basic stuff like age, height, weight, marital status etc, deserve all the crap that comes their way. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/10/2009 5:22:41 PM | aSydneyMale wrote:
Ummm, are you saying you have to actually ask someone not to lie to you for them not to lie? And if you specifically ask the liars not to lie, they won't? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, if you read a person's profile you are entitled to expect at least the basics to be accurate!
The OP has a valid complaint, the sense of entitlement these people have when they've been caught-out is amazing to the point of being delusional.
Nobody says you can't put your best foot forward, but people who deliberately misrepresent the basic stuff like age, height, weight, marital status etc, deserve all the crap that comes their way.
You hit on the word I needed in my last post...delusional. The guy I mentioned was definitely delusional about himself. I agree with you that anyone who is not upfront about the basics deserves whatever they get and that we shouldn't have to ask if the basics on the profile are correct. The response I got from the guy who lied to me about his basics was that I never asked if his age was correct. I knew the height and body type was a lie as soon as I saw him and did point it out as gently as possible. It's to their advantage to be honest or they will lose in the end, but they never think about that. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/10/2009 5:38:33 PM |
If something, i.e. absolute truth on a profile, is important to you, put it on your own profile. That way, a person who knows they are lying can either tell you right up front, or won't waste their or your time.
In an ideal world, this would work. I have this in my profile, but some men have chosen to ignore it, anyway. Go figure. | |
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