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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/10/2009 6:52:09 PM | Cynderella....you are a beautiful woman, and I respect your choices. But...I am going to use you as an example here, ok?
Your profile says 39, but you just admitted you like to "keep 'em guessing."
You are beautiful, regardless of whatever number you are...however, if I had to hazzard a guess from a quick glance at your photos, I would say 44 to 46.
And you look AWESOME for such! For 39...you look like a ton of other 39 year olds. LOL
I'm gonna sign off on this as...I rather be honest, than guessin! | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:43:29 PM | Most do it. And about other things as well. I prefer the honest approach. But hey, what do I know. Honesty went out with the dark ages?
I know for a fact some of the men I have met, encountered online have lied about their age. And I agree with the post that said if you lie about your age what else are you lying about. How sad. Some do live in such a cyber vacuum. | |
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urgood
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Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 78 | |
| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/10/2009 8:03:12 PM | Yes, I lied at first. I said I was 39 but really I am 44. I had to delete my account in order to go back and change it. People are always telling me that I look like I am in my mid-thirties so I thought I would use that to my advantage. I was wrong. The one person I really liked from here found out the truth when I eventually told her. Now we no longer speak. Too bad because we seemed to be having a great exchange of long, well thought out messages to each other. It is a shame that I am now considered evil to her. Funny thing is, she is 44 also.
Oh well, I would'nt judge a person to harshly if they lied a bit about their age. I figure if they can pass for it go ahead. Obviously if they stated they are 10, 15 or 20 years younger then they really are it gets to be a bit silly do'nt you think? | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/11/2009 3:10:51 AM | While ALL the info in my own profile IS accurate, I don't have a problem with a woman "fudging" her age so long as she can PULL IT OFF. Meaning, the proof is in the pudding - how "old" or more specifically how GOOD does she look? In person. The pic quality here is marginal at best so I do not put a lot of faith in them myself...
I have seen women at PoF parties that "look" MUCH older than their profiles claim. I also have met a couple of 61 yo ladies that would put 75% of the fortyish women on here to shame both in face and body. Granted, good genes and/or bone structure are simply luck of the draw. But those factors alone won't keep a woman in "good shape."
Chances are, an "appropriate" lifestyle and eating habits as well as "regular exercise" of some type are the WHY of how they are so well preserved.
I have read numerous profiles where women state somewhere in the profile that their age is "not accurate". That is more than fair, I feel because only an imbecile would contact someone [with the intent of possibly meeting at some point in time] without reading the ENTIRE profile. Of course people looking for "friends" or just wanting to "type endlessly" have no need for reading a profile. I also think any pic over 6 months old should be dated.
IMO, someone's age ONLY tells the year they were born. In the grand scheme of things, does it matter if someone grew up with or without color tv or 8 tracks or cassettes or CDs or ... | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/11/2009 3:45:17 AM | urgood wrote:
Yes, I lied at first. I said I was 39 but really I am 44. I had to delete my account in order to go back and change it. People are always telling me that I look like I am in my mid-thirties so I thought I would use that to my advantage. I was wrong. The one person I really liked from here found out the truth when I eventually told her. Now we no longer speak. Too bad because we seemed to be having a great exchange of long, well thought out messages to each other. It is a shame that I am now considered evil to her. Funny thing is, she is 44 also.
Oh well, I would'nt judge a person to harshly if they lied a bit about their age. I figure if they can pass for it go ahead. Obviously if they stated they are 10, 15 or 20 years younger then they really are it gets to be a bit silly do'nt you think?
urgood, you got what you deserved for lying to her. What difference did it make what her age was if she told you her correct age? Sounds to me like you're using that as an excuse. Her age has nothing to do with your lying about yours. She didn't care about your age...she cared about your lying about it. That is why she no longer speaks to you. It had nothing to do with your age. I get told I look much younger too, but I don't lie about my age. Like I told the guy who lied to me about age and a few other things, age is today minus the day you were born...nothing else. It has nothing to do with how you look or think you look. You started the potential relationship with a lie and lost someone who might have been right for you. I hope you learned from that lesson. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/11/2009 4:21:44 AM | | I think it is huge to be comfortable with who you are, age and all. I am not accepting of lying. If you accept it, IMO, you condone it and that does not set a good precedence for the future of any relationship. Post a current picture, give only accurate information, and go from there. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/11/2009 4:43:23 AM | People lie about a LOT of things, not just age.
I have had many men tell me that their son or daughter or friend entered their profile and put the age down wrong and now they can't change it. I don' t get that because you can edit your profile at will.
I also get frustrated about the height lies. So many men put that they are 5'10 or 5'11 and they are actually 5'8. That is really frustrating to me as I am generally attracted to taller men.
There are a zillion other things people lie about... their true marital status, their job, drinking habits, activity level.... and lots more.
I have concluded that it has to be MY responsibility to determine the validity of a profile. I find that you can uncover a lot more in a phone conversation than you can in email or chat.... and whatever doesn't come out there, will come out in a first meeting. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/11/2009 4:54:45 AM |
She said "all women lie about their age!".
All women do NOT lie about their age, and the only people who claim this are the ones who do it, because they think it somehow justifies THEM doing it. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/11/2009 5:45:52 AM | All women do not lie about their age, I was born in 1958 and I am about to turn 51. I have all of the ;ife experience that comes with those years and would not change a day of it.
Lying is manipulating, anyway you look at it. Each of us has to do as we will, but if you think you are leveling the playing field, then I suggest you consider the possibility that you might just be taking yourself totally out of the game with someone who thinks that your little white lie is a deal breaker.
What is the point anyway, really? It makes no sense to me, whatsoever.
I dated a man who lied about his age on his profile for several months. It was just the tip of the iceberg of what he really lies about, mostly to himself. None of the lies were big deals on their own, but together they all added up to a man who had issues, deep ones and I have learned a lesson from it. One lie is just the tip of the iceberg, seems to me, if a person believes it is OK, then watch out for whatever else they not be honest about. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/11/2009 6:50:35 AM | | been trying to contact you every time i try i fail women lie to 44 year olds suddenly turn 52 then lie how there not an alchoholic just a few probs ....and do you mind if i smoke all your smokes drink all your grog then swallow half your dinner and then even shout you a beer what where do these people get off hey i work hard to put food on the table what you dont work hey used and abused thats all i felt even after sex i walked away thinking wasnt i going forwards before this....hey check him out a real bloke not a wanna be or a fake and go a few rounds in the ring still at 48 years no shit | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/11/2009 7:03:44 AM | Anyone who says someone else changed their profile age, is a true BIG FAT LIAR and I would call them on it. LOL First of all....someone would need their password. Secondly, you can only alter the age for (if memory serves me correctly) up to two weeks after creating your profile. (So people cannot manipulate the age for search reasons)
I do not like, I do not fluff, I do not manipulate the truth. Everything on my profile is HONEST (or an obvious JOKE! lol) and the things I choose not to include, are disclosed later, in email or in person. (which there really aren't any with the exception to the "car" question.)
I think it is PLAIN SILLY, especially so, when it comes to ones AGE. I mean, unless you are here simply to talk/email with absolutely no intention of a relationship....do whatever you want. But lie to ME about your age, and you will lose my trust. I have NEVER had someone do such (as an interest...I do know of women who do this) to me personally....however I HAVE been suspicious of a few who made themselves look OLDER. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/11/2009 7:55:11 AM | First let me say, the age stated on my profile is correct. I was accused by a pof guy of posting a pic. that was 20 years old, he said don't you think if we met I would notice. The answer is of course he would..... What he failed too notice was, most of my pics. are dated and from a pof function. I have also been e-mailed by several saying ,check my age on my profile, as the numbers were reversed. Personally. I would rather look younger than my age...and be told that...than say I were younger and look much older.The bottom line for me is......I would not want a man who would filter out woman my age, that tells me he is looking for younger...a. too try too keep him young....b. he has no clue what someone his own age has too offer.....c. he is just a player wanting a young girl on his arm....or for many other reasons.
As for a man lying about age,height,weight....etc. A LIE IS A LIE...I have met several on this site who lied about all the above. By the time you reach my age...you know what you like and what you are attracted too and what works for you. Some men apparently think..oh once she meets me she will like me because I am a decent guy....it won't matter that I am 70 and not 57 as my profile stated...it won't matter that I am 5ft 7 and not 5ft 10....and of course the extra 50lbs. won't count against me............WRONG.....we are a visual society...both men and women, and we all are attracted too different looks. So why lie...there is someone out there for us all...why not tell the truth and look for the person who will appreciate you as you are........................ | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/11/2009 9:54:31 AM | | I don't understand lying about your age either. For me, it's the same thing as showing pictures on you profile that were taken years ago when you may have been much thinner than you are now. Isn't this a dating site and realize that when you put up old pictures of yourself when you had the body style of a greyhound dog and when you finally meet that person, he sees your body style that of a Greyhound Bus?...........that person might have suspicions of other fibs you may be telling. We have all met people at these POF parties and seen pictures of themselves on their profile and can hardly recognize them, when you finally meet them in person. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/11/2009 10:16:44 AM | ^^ LOL....greyhound/greyhound bus...hilarious!  I keep my pics current...posting ones from those mentioned parties, Tom! LOL I think including DATES on pics is smart...but I lately, have been posting ones that are not exactly the most flattering because of the whole "in person" versus "in photo" aspect.
One thing I WILL say is...some men (and women prolly do too!) look at pics and get a "fantasy image" of the person....THEIR OWN FAULT. I mention in my profile and I tell people when we get to discussing meeting...I am 30 pounds overweight...combo of quitting smoking, winter, less active, etc...yet I think I have disappointed some, at some point and time. Can't say it was from lack of honesty in portraying myself. :) | |
|
urgood
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Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 90 | |
| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/12/2009 6:12:32 AM | Response to Jasmina,
Yeah, I got what I deserved, learned my lesson, changed my profile and now that woman is gone for ever. But I am not heart-broken over it. Chill out people. I still bet I was the best man for her regardless what most of you hypocrits say. Listen to all of you jump on the band wagon acting like you never told a lie in you life. It is laughable.
She would have had a lot of fun with a guy like me now she will never know. Possibly end up with some guy who acts perfect all the time and is so damn incredibly nice. She 'll get bored real fast with that. At least I fessed up before we even met. If she thinks I am too horrible to talk to because of it then she should step aside and quit wasting my time. I can't be with someone that fickle. After all, I just fibbed by just 5 years, big deal. Most of the females on here are obviously lying about there age among other things. No big problem for me. I do not mind if women lie about their age at all. They are either attractive or they are not. Period.
Funny how the ones that complain the most are the first ones
to stand up and yell " age is just a number". | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/12/2009 8:26:13 AM | FOR URGOOD...and all on this forum.
So..you say you don't mind a woman lying about her age..so how about her weight, that should be ok too. Right? Or do we draw the line at age, because that's what you lied about? Can't wait till you expect too be meeting a 5ft 5 125lb 40yr. old babe and she turns out too be a bbw of 225....(For all you big and beautiful this is not anything negative about you)...and is closer too 50 and only 5ft 2. Think you'll be a little disappointed?
I am confused you said she should ,step aside and quit wasting your time. Is she still contacting you? If not ,she apparently has already kicked YOU too the curb. Why would you call her fickle. Seems like she was the honest one.
As for the rest of us being hypocrits.....I am sure all on here will agree..we have all told lies. NOW ,there are lies and there are lies. ie. Yes honey ,you look beautiful in that dress (you really think it makes her butt look big..but she likes it..so I won't hurt her feelings)...No hon ,I don't think that guy is as handsome as you..he is drop dead gorgeous...but I won't hurt my mans feelings).....I finished the report yesterday...have not even started...the check is in the mail. I think you get the picture. Good for you that you learned your lesson . As for her possibly meeting the perfect all the time,incredibly nice guy.....trust me if that happens she won't be bored. Now before you tell me I am male bashing.....If you were a woman I would be telling you the same thing...................just my opinion....... | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/12/2009 8:51:39 AM | And people wonder why the person they went out with won't call them back.
Sometimes our BS detector goes off, and maybe we don't call our dates on it like the OP did. We just file it under E for experience, and move on.
I dated someone in college who had claimed to have done lots of things, but the time frames didn't add up from HS to college, and I called her on it. Turns out the year she spent in Mexico as an exchange student really meant a 1 week vacation...didn't go over too well...and she was mad at ME for pointing out the holes in her stories. Go figure.
Now I don't bother to call BS, I just move on. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/12/2009 9:04:02 AM | I agree 100% with Angeleyes....of course everyone has told a "lie" of some sort. But it is a HUGE difference when you "lie" to protect the feelings of someone you care about, or you "lie" to make yourself seem more appealing or a better person. (Ick on the latter!)
Psychologist who specialize in family and romantic relationships, say it is ok to "fudge the truth" in certain situations and ALL of those situations are when it is protecting someone's feelings, or small pleasantries ("It's no problem at all, really!)....The major difference between a white lie and a hard lie is that a hard lie is said to protect oneself, whereas a little white lie is said to protect someone else.
Telling someone you are younger (or older!) in order to try and score with them...is not doing them any favors. Urgood, YOU might think you would have been perfect for her...but really, you only sounded egotisitical saying such! I mean, if it was THAT good, she WOULD have let it slide. Especially such a small number of four years?? Maybe it really was just an OUT for her?? Hmmm.... | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/14/2009 4:01:10 PM | This response is intended to all that have posted a response about the subject: "Lying about age on dating profile"
I get a feeling, when reading most responses, that the interpretation of the subject, is that the man or woman, who lied about their age, continue with the lie into the relationship, rather than confess on the first date. If the interpretation that the lie continues into the relationship applies, then I do not blame the person, who has been lied to, in getting upset. But let's take the other possibility:
The person lies about his/her age in the profile, says nothing during initial communications (email/telephone) but offers a confession at the start of the first date - not the middle or the end - but the start of the first date. The reason provided for lying: "He is 61 but due to great genes and maintaining an active life, healthy living and ongoing physical fitness, he is always taken to be in his mid-forties and can do what most guys in their 40's can do, just as well or better. Add to that, the fact that in stating he is 61, gets him in the search range of women in their 50's and 60's, who think looking after their flower pots in the garden is strenous physical activity. He enjoys running ... can run 10 km in one hour ... just over a year ago, he hiked Torres del Paine ... 125 km in 5 days with a 30 Kg back pack ... three weeks later he climbed Mount Chirripo (3,900 m), and when he goes out dancing (Latin .. Merengue, Salsa, etc..) he can do it all night. The women in their 50's and 60's would probably drop, just thinking about that level of activity." His lie: His profile reads 51 and she is a fit 48 ... just perfect for his lifestyle. Everything else in his profile is 100% true, along with all the other information he volunteered during their communications. During their communications, they got along tremendously.
What are your opinions on his chances of being accepted (forgiven) or rejected .. on that first date, after confessing he is really 61 and not 51?
I would be interested to know ... because that guy is me ... in another dating site and that first date is next Wednesday. In this site I have stated my correct age ... and experienced what I have described.
I will be cancelling my profile from this site, mainly because of the encouragement from this site to provide filters, so that I am unable to contact a 48 years old woman, if I think we may be compatible, because her upper limit may be 55 (and obvioulsy, she would not be contacting me.)
Your responses will be appreciated. Please remember when writing your response ... somewhere in the bible it says something along the lines of ... "Let those without sin ... cast the first stone." | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/14/2009 4:22:09 PM | Gentleman^^^^^^^^^^^
I'm sorry, but your thinking is a bit warped here. Who chooses who you ask out on a date? Isn't it you? So then it's your choice to choose to meet women who don't have the same level of physical fitness as you - age is irrelevant in that. If I met you thinking you were 51 and you told me you were 61, I'd end the date.
Think aboutit this way: If you want to date women in a certain age range, that's your choice. Isn't it also our choice? Or are you saying if you met a 41 y.o. woman and found she was actually your age, you'd be okay with it, or would you jump on your preconceived notions of her based on her age?
The only line more overused and tired than "I like walks on the beach" is "But I feeeeeeel like I'm 40."
There's no definition of any particular age - what shape you're in is determined by how you take care of yourself. Maybe you're comparing yourself at a certain age to your parents at that age? And hopefully, with age comes wisdom, so I'm never embarrassed by my age as I've lived a great life and take experiences as chances to learn and become a better person. I get told in person that I look much younger, but wouldn't think of putting my age as younger.
The reason I have age limits in my profile is not for fitness levels, (because that can be learned via pictures and a few initial questions before meeting) but because I've learned there's a limit to generational gaps that will and will not work for me. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/14/2009 4:31:57 PM | Trailgirl ..
I agree with most of what you are stating ... but you misundersttood what I wrote.
I would never consider lying about my age, when meeting a woman face to face, in the conventional way.
You are right ...I approach who I choose ..who I feel is attractive.
But in this Internet dating thing ... it is different. Due to the filters ... I cannot approach and, obviously I am not approached by the desired age bracket.
Also ... I am ready to admit it at the first date and explain why.
Do you see it any different now? | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/14/2009 4:35:16 PM | Exactly^^....and, add to that, when it gets down to it...those who lie about their age for "search purposes" and narcisstic reasonings of being soooo freaking great for your age...also have major sense of entitlement syndrome! You think since YOU want it, you should HAVE IT, with no regard to the other parties feelings. I do not care what you hiked, how well you maintain, or feeling like you are 40....I would feel raped of my CHOICE if I were to be misled into a date with the likes of you (or others).
Why? Because guess what?? I FEEL 30 sometimes...and sure as fvck look younger! 
Quit fooling yourselves, and call a spade a spade. Argh...have the perfect match for Gentleman....a fellow LIAR, but I won't break rules and name her. The two of you would get along famously! You could look in the mirror and tell eachother how wonderfully you have aged. *gag* In this day and age...everyone is aging wonderfully. Sheesh...this website is FULL of gorgeous men and women who look nothing near their age...and are often accused of LYING since THEY DONT FUDGE IT. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/14/2009 4:48:49 PM | Nothing to do with narcissim ... search purposes yes ... if the filters were not there ... no problem. Aside from the filters, the other main problem is to do with closed minds and people that jump into conclusions. Depending on the age you are ... you are pigeon holed.
Who wrote the damm book about how a 61 year old is supposed to act or perform?
Yet people have pre-conceived ideas ... which shuts people out and on the long run ... form the mold into which they will fit ... when they reach that age.
I do not believe in pre-expectations ... or moulds. I am who I am ... and I am very comfortable in my own skin in the real world. It is this cyber-world that creates the problem ... because two people cannot talk eye-to-eye.
BTW ... if I explain why, as I have explained above ... and you would feel "raped??" ... you know ... I'll walk away without blinking ... "raped"   | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/14/2009 5:38:48 PM |
Depending on the age you are ... you are pigeon holed.
So what do you think it is when you say
women in their 50's and 60's, who think looking after their flower pots in the garden is strenous physical activity.
and
The women in their 50's and 60's would probably drop, just thinking about that level of activity.
Certainly sounds like pigeonholing to me! The fact is there will be some women in their 50s and 60s who are pretty inactive and others who are very energetic. Or you might find a younger woman who doesn't have a problem with your age. But if you knock 10 years off your age in order to trick a woman into meeting you then you have only yourself to blame if she is very angry about your behaviour. I don't really think it's acceptable to lie in your profile but if you are going to do it to get into the search range of younger women at least tell them the truth before you meet them so they don't have all the trouble of coming to the meeting before getting a big disappointmentm | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/14/2009 6:16:27 PM | | Totally agree about if they lie about age what else are they lying about - It's a false pretense to get someone to date them - pretty desperate measure. But to get angry when their called on it, that's really pathetic and sad. Just shows who they really are and luckily they reveal their true selves right out the gate so you don't have to waste anymore of your time. I agree about people being comfortable about their age. It is what it is, people like you for who you are based intially on your pic and profile. I always ask if it's a recent pic and if they really look like that. So far, I've had pretty good luck with men being honest about that. | |
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