| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/24/2009 2:38:42 PM | Thank you MLT09!
My very first date posted a pic about twenty years younger, and described herself as "a few extra pounds". She is still online doing the same. When I arrived to meet her and take her to the restaurant, I found a 300+ pound, triple chinned bundle of joy. Because we are in the same small community, I stoically took her to dinner. To amuse myself, I kept quietly thinking, "Gee, I hope she doesn't eat too much." Also, while on route to the restaurant, my Bronco listed noticeably to the passenger side, and I have a restored model with a heavy duty frame and suspension!
Our society has leaned heavily toward narcissism, hence to need to have a much younger date or? From a male perspective, the web site pages are full of women in their 40's to 60's specifying male age groups from 30's to 40's, or younger. As you stated from your experiences, men in their 40's to 60's look for the much younger "trophy", or perhaps better stated, "The Barbie Doll". Both older men and women do this in the illusion that they are recapturing their youth.
So, what ever happened to maturity in our society? I'll leave that question to Forum readers. Yet, I know what I am seeking, and maturity in a woman has much to do with my own personal interest and attraction. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/24/2009 3:30:16 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^ All of the above reasons I seldom date or ""meet"" from on line. I notice reading lots of mens profiles that they say in the body of their profile ...
""Oh POF made a mistake and lowered my age by oh 12 years or so "" we all know the truth about that. Either they got caught up in the age lie while meeting people, and they probably also met people who lied about their ages and that just pizzed them off.
I am so open to age it is a real pizzoff for me when a person deducts 10 years only because it takes away MY CHOICE of whom I chose to meet. And yes when I have uncovered a big 10 year lie I have been the one called shallow. Such is the joke of on line dating.
Savona | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/25/2009 12:50:51 AM | | If they were smart, they would say they were older and then we could say, Wow, you look really good for your age. lol | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/25/2009 7:17:26 AM | ^^Exactly!! :O)
I rather be the 42 year old who looks pretty good for 42, than the....I dunno, 32 year old who looks poor or just meh, for her age. LOL
The thing is...these narccisstic people who have this sense of entitlement and a million reasons to justify their lying....THINK they look really great...THINK they have soooo much more to offer and are the EXCEPTION to it all.
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/25/2009 7:26:18 AM | | OP, I feel the same way. I went out with a guy who's profile stated he was 44. Turns out he was 47 and never bothered to change his age because it "might knock me out of the league with some women." Personally I'm not attracted to guys that are that much older than me (I have learned that the bigger the age gap the less we are likely to have in common). I felt the same way... "If he is lying about something like this, what else is he lying about?" I can only imagine his reaction if I would have listed my body type as average.... Oh well, just remember, this is another way to filter out the frogs from the fish! | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/25/2009 10:04:16 AM | I believe the problem with not stating an age (for the much younger ones) could, in some states, be considered illegal; therefore, you think it's okay and the next thing you know ... handcuffed, jailed, labeled as a sexual offender ... not something one looks forward to.
I believe the main problem is not so much about age, pictures, physique ... it's simply the fact that people do lie ... MEN & WOMEN ... Personally, I am truthful and my profile shows that. I have nothing to hide. | |
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bhi99
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Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 157 | |
| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/25/2009 12:00:01 PM | I find a lot of 18 and 19 year olds lie about being 20 or 21.
Which I find amusing because if you're in Canada and you say you're 20 but you're really 18, then if you go out with a girl and can't get alcohol you're going to look mighty foolish...
But I suppose it's a different story in saying you're 30 when you're 40, but if you can pull it off? | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/25/2009 1:41:46 PM | I'd rather the woman lie about her age/weight class as opposed to not lie about her age/weight class and lie about something much more major later in the relationship (oh that was just the plumber). Sure, she won't get a 2nd date and depending on whether she is interesting enough she may get supper bought for her and tagged as a friend. I won't date her because she lied about something but I may buy her dinner because I am an understanding guy, and she may have just gotten desperate to go out on a date.
I know I will react this way based on fact. I did meet a woman I found interesting and did agree to go on a face to face date. She did lie about her weight class drastically (she had posted her early 20's photos demonstrating a much more demeanor woman versus the just ate a sumo wrestler demeanor she had at the time of the date.) However, she did have a good personality so she got a good meal, and someone she could talk.
Now, even though she had lied about her weight class, if she had hung around long enough and proved that her lying wasn't habitual, maybe date 2 would have happened. I try to think of myself as an understanding guy. I also realize I am a superficial pig sometimes.
If she had said she was "average" but really "a few extra pounds" I wouldn't have called that a deal breaking lie. I can't define what "average" would mean to myself. She was more than a few extra pounds, but had a good personality which is something that can sometimes over-ride my superficial pigginess.
Granted, I had a beard once (about a 2-3 month old one) while I had a beardless photo on a non-dating site. And a lady picked me up for a date. I kept the beard for a few months until I felt emotionally compelled to make it go away. Beards grow back but she was a good woman so I shaved it (I also watched Happy Feet with her, too - ewwww).
I guess some things I can't demand a woman to be perfect about (age, so you shaved/added 1-2 years to contact me, etc) since I am not perfect either. Honestly, I'd rather be honest than lie out of the gate so why not expect the same from everyone else, but also why not keep in mind that no one is perfect. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/25/2009 2:46:25 PM | Reading the comment here has made me sad because I live in Sweden and never put my picture on until now.
I have always judge someone by how they treated me or others.
If the person lied about age or weight.I never gave it a thought.
A person has the right to your opinion . I hope in your lifetime you do not miss out on the man or to other woman of your dreams because of this.
I am always in the need of a good friend. When you go out with someone they can just become a friend no need for a partner or husband or wife
I wonder how many good men you have missed because of it.
I am sure you will have regrets if you just pick by the age and weight.Again I say it is your choice but think hard each time.
LIVE LIFE WITHOUT REGRETS | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/25/2009 3:27:50 PM | The thing is...I am not HERE on POF to "find my friends"...though my friends are here.
If I agree to meet a "love interest"...it is because they are such...a romantic interest. And honestly, I do not want the sort of people who feel a need to misrepresent themselves, as friends, either. Ick. Ew.
What is so wrong with HONESTLY PORTRAYING oneself. I mean, your friends/lover will find out eventually! | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/25/2009 3:54:52 PM | | I don't know that misrepresenting age is one of the more serious violations on these sites, if you are simply talking about the number - if a woman posts her age 5 or so years one way or the other, but acts and looks to my taste, her numerical age really doesn't matter to me - a far more serious issue are those who post misleading photos, and misleading info in their profile, and there are just too many examples to list. I'm taking a break from this for that very reason : even after talking with someone on the phone for several weeks before meeting, I found out that even though she said she had her life together and lived alone, neither was true - so what difference did it make what her age was? She even admitted to using drugs, and listed that as "no" on her profile! Just goes to show that many of these profiles should only be used for entertainment porpoises only... | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/25/2009 6:49:58 PM | Here's my solution to the whole matter since it seems to be a deal breaker -- add 5 to 10 years to all the profiles. That way there are no surprises.
On the subject of the poster above, who found out the woman did not live alone or have her life together, that's probably a more serious matter as that I interpreted that to mean a variety things like living with a bf or not being separated from her husband. That's really is wrong, in my opinion to say you live alone when you don't. I don't have a roommate, and I did not date until I was separated and living separately (now I'm divorced). Too many problems to do otherwise.
From what I could see, there is some seriousness in misrepresenting ones age, especially if you're a senior citizen 69 yr. old seeking out a 50-something. I think she had every right not to want a man of age, not just because he lied, but because of she could very well end up being his caregiver or a widow at a relatively young age and she obviously didn't want that. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/26/2009 6:47:23 AM | Adventurer652...."HONEST AND SINCERE ONLY"...........
Seems you've steped down from what you state on your profile...WHY would it surprise or upset you that she lied about her living arrangements/drug usuage...etc etc...sense I am sure there is more....after all she LIED about something so basic as her age. One lie leads too another and another and another. As for you being upset about misleading photos on profiles..one would have too do that too represent the given age...you know the one they lied about.
Very sad that some do use this and other dating sites for purposes other than finding someone too share time/love/life with. Sorry for you ,and all who experience this..set your standards high...and don't settle for anything less than someone who is honest from the start.......................................... | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/26/2009 2:10:25 PM | in reply to angeleyes101lyric re: my post to this topic -
i don't feel i've lowered my standards because my standards are not expectations of someone as being perfect; i can ACCEPT certain things, and not others, as everyone can. There do not have to be ABSOLUTES in terms of anything in life... i can be very understanding..... to a point, at which time the proverbial line-in-the-sand is crossed.
For a person (man or woman) to lie about their age by a FEW years is vanity, and that is excusable (to me) - after all, NONE of us is without flaws - hopefully you are able to admit that for yourself. But to totally misrepresent where you are in your life to the extent that it interferes with your stated goals of finding a good man/woman for a relationship is just plain folly - why publish a profile which is diametrically opposed to what your life really is?
As far as photos, i'm really not upset over the fact that it happens, because when i see a woman who lists their age as (say) 49, and posts a photo that is either (1) retouched, or (2) taken YEARS ago, i just laugh and click on the next profile. It's like women (or men) in their late 40's or early 50's posting an age search for someone 18 -39.... DUHHH??
I would much rather see a woman honest enough to post a photo sans makeup, and if she is attractive, it shows through, as opposed to these 'glamour shots' i see every so often. But thank you for your critique, and i enjoyed reading your profile. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/26/2009 4:22:57 PM | | Like it isn't hard enough to find a "nice" person that you might have simmular interest(s) with. People like that make it harder for those of us, that are honest to get notice and or believed. I even finding myself questioning how much of the profile that I am reading is true. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/26/2009 4:36:54 PM | In reply to ADVENTURER: what I was refering too was your quote after your name....
HONEST AND SINCERE ONLY.....then you go on too say it is ok too lie..I was just curious as too why.
None of us are perfect...and we all have FLAWS. I will be the first too admit that...and we all tolerate different imperfections/mistakes in others. You say "too totally misrepresent where "you are in your life" too the extent that it interfers with stated goals of finding a good man/woman is just plain folly"AND I AGREE COMPLETELY........I believe what most here are saying is ....when a person.. misrepresents
'WHO" they are ie. woman/man /age/ weight/height..this also interfers with the stated goals of the man/woman who is possibly thinking of meeting them...for most of us the two go hand in hand......
I too can be very understanding...just not understanding of lies....
Thanks for the comment on my profile..... | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/26/2009 5:30:38 PM | I don't know so much about lying, but I'll admit I find it a little creepy that I'm only 23 and yet about 90% of the messages I get are from guys older than 35, when I clearly stated in my profile that I don't want to date people that much older than me. And yeah, most of them assure me they're young for their age, but really 1. that's not the point and it doesn't matter 2. I think they just have an inflated opinion of what 'young for their age' means, since from their pictures, they look exactly as I would expect a 40, 50, 60 year old to look like, heh.
I know I'm young yet and haven't experienced that much of life, but why do so many older people (of both genders, according to my male friends on here) pursue people so much younger than themselves? Obviously there are lonely people in the upper decades as well, so why do older people seem to be so loathsome of the idea of dating each other?
And also, what has happened to our society that even so many older people lack basic coherency in English? o.- | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/26/2009 6:11:55 PM | ^^^^^ i would answer your question Ceri but that would open a whole new can of worms that i dont think most pof'ers are ready for.... plus i dont feel like being attacked from all sides right now !!!!
and no, sex is not the answer..... entirely !!! lol
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/26/2009 6:48:10 PM | re: angeleyes101lyric (interesting handle btw)
we could probably debate the semantics of this via email if u wish,,,, all i'm saying is :
i personally can accept someone mis-stating their age ( and perhaps certain other inconsistencies) if i don't believe they are too far from reality; certainly a person in their '60's saying they are in their '50's is not what i'm talking about, unless for sake of improving their search results, they say 59 and they are really 61 - i just don't see that as a deal breaker as i know from explanation it was just a way of manipulating those results as they stated they were getting all the wrong replies...
I'm sure you can draw the comparison that it is the same as manipulating people - however when we're talking about dating via the CYBERSPHERE, i just can't get that passionate about it - my whole perception of them won't hinge on that one issue, and my life won't fall apart as to whether someone is 2 or 3 years older/younger than what they list here; some of us see black/white, others see shades of grey - i don't think it conflicts with my headline because i'm going to judge by the totality of the circumstances, not each minute detail... if i start seeing more than just one or two inconsistencies, that's the point where i must decide if she is worth the time... maybe i am an exception to the norm, but this is a forum and i simply posted my opinion.... but i do so enjoy the ethereal debate - hehehe - feel free to take issue with me anytime | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/26/2009 7:04:13 PM | to the best lady...
A good man is not a liar in my book.
I do not choose men based on age and weight. Chemistry is much more illusive than those two factors for me. However, there are traits which I prefer and find attractive in men, and lying is NOT one of them.
My opinion. | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/26/2009 7:46:04 PM | adventurer...Manipulation appears too be the word of the day on these dating sites. I take issue with those who do for self gain.....I am more of a black and white gal...unfortunately.. ..I do, however ,see all the grey area......now you say..you judge on the totality of the circumstances...not each minute detail.. I say each minute detail...makes up the totality......................... and you're right we could debate the semantics of this via....e --
What I love about this forum is...we are all entitled too our opinions, and I respect your's........
By the way...interesting handle, I understand ,but what does the the btw stand for??? | |
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| LYING ABOUT AGE ON DATING PROFILE!
Posted: 5/27/2009 5:07:00 AM | Blah...Blah...Blah...your self....its a freakin computer...grow up...players on all these sights....shees..good luck...for real! | |
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