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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/5/2009 6:16:43 PM | | Are you serious. Try being a girl. All men ever want is one freakin thing. They're millions of women who crave committment. Its the men who cant. Do not give up. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/5/2009 7:08:02 PM |
Are you serious. Try being a girl. All men ever want is one freakin thing.
Yup, I only want one thing. I want to be happy.
They're millions of women who crave committment. Its the men who cant. Do not give up.
Just because a man doesn't want to commit *to you* doesn't mean he doesn't want to commit. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/5/2009 7:18:15 PM | i a woman is having a hard time finding men who will "commit" then she is looking at the wrong men. . . . . i always hear my friends (who are girls) why cant i ever find a guy like you. . . . HEY!!!! I AM A GUY LIKE ME!!!! . . . and yes ladys guys are only your friends because they like you. . . . but that doesnt mean they only want sex. . . . . . turn you head and look at the guy you complain to about all your ex boy toys !!! | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/5/2009 8:05:48 PM |
Are you serious. Try being a girl. All men ever want is one freakin thing.
Not all men do. And the funny thing is if I am on a date with someone new and reject her promiscuous advances she takes insult and accuses me of being gay.
Fact is, not every guy is looking to jump into the sack -- at least not right off the bat.
They're millions of women who crave committment. Its the men who cant. Do not give up.
Disagree again. Boys don't desire commitment.
Men do.... | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/5/2009 9:07:39 PM | | The sad truth my friend... often good people are overlooked - men or women it doesn't matter... it should only matters to you most is when you find that one person in out of 6 billion people in this planet who will see your imperfections and still accepts you for it. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/5/2009 9:53:01 PM | Not all men do. And the funny thing is if I am on a date with someone new and reject her promiscuous advances she takes insult and accuses me of being gay.
You know those maps you usually find in huge shopping plazas/subway stations ? They have one big red dot and right above it says:
"You are here".........
Consider the above quote the red dot in regard to myself. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/5/2009 9:57:50 PM | | Dude I know how you feel, my ex told me she cheated on me because she knew I loved her and she could get away with it. Talk about a kick in the teeth. If you treat a women to nice she will think that she is too good for you. Get a little bit selfish and don't be everything they want be what you want, they will like you more for that. Yea I am sure that a lot of women don't like reading this, but have you noticed that a women will hold on to some major losser no matter how bad he treats her, while complaining that she wants a nice man. Stop listening to what they say and start observing what they do, it will open you eyes. I think the only way to keep a women is to be ready to walk away from them at the drop of a hat and not turn back. Let them worry about lossing you instead of you worrying about lossing them, it might work out better for you in the long run. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/5/2009 10:05:43 PM |
My father left when i was very very young, and my mother has been an alcoholic all my life, so not much of a parent. She always provided and stuff, but as far as the actual bond between parent and child goes, i've never really had in any form.
op, what you've posted here paints a more complete picture of your situation.
As I see it, you lack a male role-model to learn from. In an ideal world, we learn about bonding and relationships from our parents. But since you don't have that option, you're going to have to find someone in your life, men who you respect, and observe how they relate to others. Not just how they relate to women but to other men as well. Most likely, these men are successful in what they do and their marriages are rock solid.
From these role models, you will hopefully learn how not to be too trusting but still come across as genuine and interested, stand firm and protect yourself from being used or played without being a jerk or arrogant. You don't have to be a 'git' as you say to get ahead in this world. If you are genuinely nice and have a strong sense of self worth, trust me, the right woman will find you. | |
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| Re: Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/5/2009 10:21:35 PM | Sounds like she just wasn't attracted to you in the way you hoped, despite you giving her a repository for her past relationship baggage. It's your call whether you want to remain friends when she knows that you have unrequited feelings. That she's with your former buddy now makes things tougher. I would just accept what isn't to be and forge ahead if I were you.
Develop and discover who you are and where you're going, and keep interacting with the world around you. If you're a decent person, seek out other decent people. Discover your interests and beliefs, and know when to stand up for yourself. Those qualities make someone attractive without them ever having to be anything but themselves. Be someone that a woman would want to be with, not someone you think a woman needs. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 8:57:53 AM | Hey dude don’t worry about finding a girl that is looking for a genuine and nice guy,, instead you should be looking for a genuine and nice girl, it's much harder to find lol but worth it if you can :) I have chatted with a few nice woman on this site, so they are around :)
I think this can happen to man or woman,, so what I am trying to say is,, ""nice people finish last"" and this is sad because this can be true,, I hope this doesn't rub anyone the wrong way lol but when a person says there looking for a nice guy,, what they really mean is there looking for tall dark and handsome lol, most woman like tall guys or anything along those lines,, I am a really nice guy, great sense of humor, musical, drug free, I have risked my own life more than 3 times to help save someone else's life,, most people that know me well always speck very highly of me, ""but"" I always seam to be single ,,
I have a friend that is the opposite of me, ""he is one of my guitar students"" he likes hard drugs, and is always getting into trouble with the police, treats all his woman like dirt,, I seen him do some really scummy things to women, and I cant understand why they keep him around, he doesn't even work, he cheats and steals, his girl friend buys him guitars, and then he pones them off for drugs lol but his height is 6'2, and he's also very handsome, he always has a date, in-fact they line up just to be with this guy lol once they know he's single again,, man the only thing I can say is, ""I wish I was him"" or just a little taller lol "oh well" | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 9:10:45 AM | don't change for any girl man seriously.. its not worth it. :)
i did that before with all my exs and ended up not knowing who i really was..
its true girls don't like nice guys.. why? because to them it seems so fake?
dont ask why? =\
but i've been told before.. girls like to see a guy with abit of control who can put his foot down with abit of aggression.. =S
but to me.. its all bs..
it really depends on the girl if she can accept you for who you really are?
one of my exs broke up with me because i was 'TOO PERFECT' for her and it seemed too fake? LMAO.
when she wanted a guy to slap her around and control her life?..
but for some reason when you do find a girl who is right for you and is willing to be there for you always?.. you don't have interest in them because you want something different? lol its all complicated..  | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 9:24:52 AM | I absolutely love this thread! I honestly agree it has to do a lot with experience and selection. As men, we typically follow the same paths time and time again. If, as a man
I have it in my head that A + B =C, then in the future I'm always gonna feel that until I'm proven wrong. But that's where the mystery of failed relationships comes in. Perhaps instead of always looking for the same thing, which has always given you an unfavorable result you need to start looking for something different. I've met some excellent "HUMAN BEINGS" by actually listening to what they have to say. Stop looking for "EYE CANDY" and look for goodness instead. A girl CAN still be very attractive without being the wrong one. That being said, you can definitely tell when someone is wrong for you. Go with your gut and your brain and let your heart follow - not the other way around. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 11:10:58 AM | | Yes it is.I'm too damn nice.The one time, when i was back in HS, and might have ended up w/ a date,i didn't take it.Now at 24(25 in June),i may have to change from being Mr. Nice to being more like an L.A. police officer,so she can get the guy she likes.One that will treat her like she's rodney king. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 11:18:59 AM | | As much as i hate to admit it, nice guys do finish last...i used to be one of the ones who always finished dead last (still do in some cases). However, i've learned that as much as girls want a nice guy, they want a guy that's exciting and spontaneous. Most nice guys suffer from being too predictable; too nice to be bad at all. That's not going to cut it with women. I'm not saying to go out and be an ***hole, i'm just saying be spontaneous and maybe don't play by the rules so much...but still be nice. It'll get you pretty far... | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 12:07:46 PM | | Probably because girls don't realize it but it IS our niceness that makes girls break up with us...were not exiting enough for them. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 12:29:59 PM |
I've often been told by many a person that I'm genuinely one of the nicest people that they've met, a rare kind of person, incredibly kind/thoughtful/caring/romantic etc. So why is it that someone like me will constantly be burned and cast aside?
There is such a thing as being "too nice"... it makes you a doormat.. on the whole, people are very good and kind.. but if there is a rug, they will walk on it, and wipe their feet.
she basically told me that i was making her life harder because she couldn't accept that someone would be so caring and genuine and wasn't ever gonna mess her over. I didn't really accept that, it sounded a bit cliché.
It was a cliche.. most women don't want a doormat..
She was taken with how i appreciated her for who she was, and was just nice for the sake of being nice. Things progressed, and my feelings eventually got pretty deep. Now, for some reason she wasn't ever able to fully forget about this one ex of hers who really messed her about, and constantly talked about him
She let you build up her confidence and then she left with your best friend - ego for ego..
What exactly is it, about someone being genuine, honest, caring and actually decent (which so many people out there claim to want) that causes you to get screwed over?
You honestly need to balance the good with some bad. I don't mean be a total ass, but stick up for yourself, be forward, tell what YOU expect out of a relationship, and let them know that if they can't handle it, to keep on walking..
Sometimes i really despair over it, since it seems to get anywhere in this world you actually have to be a complete git. I don't like that notion, since it doesn't fit in with how i am, nor how i ever intend to be.
YOu don't have to be a jerk - just don't be a mouse
So I'll plod along, probably winding up in the same situations time and again. Who knows, maybe one of you out there looking for a genuine and nice guy actually means it...
They all mean it, but it's hard to respect someone that doesn't respect themself, I am just letting you know as delicately as I can, that as long as you let people treat you that way, they are going to.
And that is the honest truth... as I see it
JMO as always
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 12:39:55 PM | | This thread should be called "Why do women always seek out ***holes then complain when they act like what they are, and are not Nice Guys!" I see this over and Over until I am sick of it! I have no less than 3 very good friends who are women and they continually ask me why don't" so and so" act like you do and be a nice guy? What the hell is up with that? I am a nice Guy I am single and available! I keep getting told "I wish I could find a Guy like You!" DUH! You did why don't you do something about what you found? The women like this are just like dogs chasing cars, if they caught the damn thing they have no idea what the hell to do with it!!!!! I am beginning to believe these women get just what they deserve! They don't really deserve a nice guy, if they want to be treated terrible then just keep chasing those cars!!!!! My GrandFather always said if you keep repeating the same action and expecting a different outcome you are a fool! So if you want a nice guy, change your tactic and find a nice guy and stop chasing losers! | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 3:18:46 PM | | OP -- look up Dave Deangelo on the web and buy one of his eBooks. Great stuff to learn about being a man for a woman and staying out of the friend zone. All of it may not be your cup of tea, but it will give you an appreciation for what attracts women. And, you can remain being yourself, just smarter about it. Its not the end-all, but it sure helps. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 4:17:31 PM |
So yeah. Maybe i've let people take liberties with me..I haven't got any defense for it, because sometimes, when the one thing in your life that's missing is right in your hands, you'll do most anything to keep hold of it.
And the irony here is that the harder you try to hold onto it, the more you drive it away. That's exactly why things seem to find you when you're not looking for them. Because you're not trying so hard.
It's like petting a stray cat. If you go chasing after it, it's going to run like hell. But if you patiently crouch down and extend your hand and let the cat come to you, you've got a much better chance of petting it. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 5:28:51 PM | | yes mate, trust me i totally understand where your coming from, ive benn there plenty of times, i met a girl last year on valentines day and i was seeing her for a few months. everything seemed to eb going fine, going out for dinner and stuff hanging out and havin a laugh. then one n ight i found out she gave a head to one of the guys i played rugby with (slut i know) and when i comfronted her on it, i was so naive i actually believed her when she turned it around on me because apparently i was doing too much?! to me, i dont see how treating a girl well is a bad thing but il tell you what, ive learnt my lesson now!! now this may be hard to take in, even if its not yourself, girls want the w**ker who treats them like shit, regardless. my advice to you is, dont change who you are, just adjust your tactics a little bit, pay a little less attention to her, let her pay for more than her share so she feels shes puttin more into the relationship but only from the start of the relationship. since ive started doing this, things seem to be going better cause it gives me a better view of teh situation and if theres any problems, anyways good luck with it man. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 5:29:56 PM | | I've been the nice guy for many years but recently decided to say screw it,I've had enough I'm tired of being told lets be friends.I don't want to be friends period I have enough female friends in my life there is no room left,I'm tired of being the nice guy the one who gives a damn about them.I'm tired of being used as the board that the game is played on,so I have decided to open that door to my dark side and let him out to breathe.I might not get a lot of hits but at least the playing field will be a bit more even matched from now on. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 6:04:07 PM |
OP -- look up Dave Deangelo on the web and buy one of his eBooks. Great stuff to learn about being a man for a woman and staying out of the friend zone. All of it may not be your cup of tea, but it will give you an appreciation for what attracts women. And, you can remain being yourself, just smarter about it. Its not the end-all, but it sure helps.
No, no, no!
DeAngelo is a hack who offers band-aids to men who need heart surgery! He teaches them one-liners that do NOT fix the root cause of the problem: DEEP INSECURITIES! DeAngelo's one-liners might be good for "tricking" a woman into sleeping with you, but if she has any brains whatsoever, she won't fall for it. And even if she does, she won't stay.
The TRUE way for a DOOR MAT nice guy to fix himself is to read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" (Glover). This book teaches them how to overcome their insecurities, how it happened and how to build confidence and self-esteem. NOT how to be a jerk! It makes them confident, well-balanced men. And it's a confident, well-balanced man that will find a meaningful, lasting relationship. | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 9:57:13 PM | Dude, don't totally lose yourself to that dark side. If you can walk away from this experience with your personal integrity intact, then you will have gain enormous strength to resist the influence of the opposite gender on your life. Don't let them control who you are or who you become. Honestly, all you have to do is just find something else to occupy your mind and focus on that. Trust me, that is what I had to do. I truly wish you the very best.
Just my 2 cents,
Kratos | |
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| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/6/2009 10:05:23 PM | I've read both Dave and No More -- I wouldn't trash either. This is the latest help for men that teaches you that all your mother told you about being a sweet boy to your girlfriend is not good advice. Just really how to be a man.
If you think Dave is all one-liners, then I know you haven't read it and are commenting out of your ... its much more than that. I wouldn't say do everything he says, but take from it what helps you-- and that's how to not be intimidated by women and stand your ground. And really be yourself--not what your mama wanted you to do. | |
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RAWRRR
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Joined: 3/29/2009
Msg: 100 | |
| Nice guys finish last is a sad truth...
Posted: 5/7/2009 6:08:53 AM | I had this too from a girl.
gave me all this "you're such a nice guy" "good to know there are nice guys out there"
"i'd date you but im not looking for anyone right now"
then the kicker
the next week she messages me with "omg guess what? james asked me out and i said yes!" and i was supposed to feel happy for her?
then a few days later she gets back with her ex anyway
but as the first reply puts it, you are picking the wrong girl is all im sure, there are girls out there just looking for a jerk and it might be too black and white for people but its true. | |
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