| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/3/2009 6:33:19 PM | It's a matter of personal taste. I like men that are dark/grey haired and of mediterranean decent. Grey hair and light eyes make me crazy. The tall blond Nordic types do not appeal to me, neither do the very dark skinned men. I am sure my blond hair and pale skin do not turn on a lot of guys. You learn to deal with it.
If you were in Los Angeles, NY or Paris men would buzz you like bees. | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/3/2009 6:41:58 PM | | Well, m_church, I don't know where you've been, but your ignorance and sterotypical beliefs reflect a lack of culture on YOUR part. Look around. Start in the White House. And understand that not everyone has to behave or look the way you think they should. | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/3/2009 9:18:46 PM | [Well, m_church, I don't know where you've been, but your ignorance and sterotypical beliefs reflect a lack of culture on YOUR part. Look around. Start in the White House. And understand that not everyone has to behave or look the way you think they should. ]
I think that was his point, the lack of eloquent speech, manners, dress and behaviour is a chosen path. you don't hear much getto slang trash talking coming from the white house.
I was recently sitting in a restaraunt and from behind me I could hear a young lady's voice, excellent grammar, eloquently spoken, even before I looked I knew she was black, but when I did turn to look, just as I expected, classic style of dress, she was attractive, she worked to be what she wanted to be. She was also having lunch with a young white man.
Oh, and to answer the OP's question, I've put a couple of black women on my favorites list, and even messaged a couple, they didn't answer, read/deleted, guess you'll have to go ask black women why they don't answer messages from white guys now ;))) | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/4/2009 3:06:22 PM | This thread has literally SHATTERED my self esteem
all of the discussion about the mixed black women being more attractive, white men not wanting to be with a darkskin woman..what am I going to do ? i have no where else to turn to. The black men are comfortable dating white women and can get them
so where does that leave me? the white men are coming in saying darkskin women like me who aren't mixed are ugly and not attractive to them.
I might as well kill myself | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/4/2009 3:25:49 PM | | what is saying that helping any? the men just came in here and trashed black women who are not mixed. who the hell am i going to date since black men have no problem dating, marrying and procreating with white wmoen who look nothing like their own mothers. | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/4/2009 6:19:22 PM | Sigh...
Jaila123 none of the stereotypical, fueled by the media, 'plantation mentality' comments here have anything to do with you or any other black women, so there is no reason for your self esteem to be affected.
There are other sites where you'll find both white and black men who are interested in dating black women. Just look around and keep your chin up!
Brandie | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/4/2009 7:49:25 PM | OP, you do not seem to have much self esteem at all. If you are talking about suicide because you cannot find a date, you really are not ready to be dating at all and need to work on yourself.
There are only a few white male posters in the thread who said that they do not find black women attractive; they do not represent the millions of white males in the United States and in other countries. So no, not all white men are rejecting you. Even if as few as 10% of white males found black women attractive, that's still millions of white males.
Second, you act if black males are dating outside of their race in droves when the reality is much different. Over 90% of black males in the United States marry black women and the vast majority of black males have black girlfriends. Black males dating outside of their race is not nearly as common as you are making it out to be.
Your posts read like a "nice guy" thread where you are blaming a bunch of external factors and creating a bunch of limiting beliefs as to why you cannot find a date.
Yes, it is probably harder for you to find a date because you are dark skinned. Just like it is harder for shy and unconfident men or men who are short or women who have children to find a date relative to those who don't have these "problems".
What this means is that you are going to have to be more assertive and proactive and not wait for a guy to approach you. You might have to widen your horizons of the men you are willing to date. You might have to experience a lot of rejection.
Millions of men and women have to overcome some kind of dating "disability" and experience a lot of rejection in order to find someone. Your problems are not special or unique. | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/4/2009 8:54:32 PM |
the men just came in here and trashed black women who are not mixed..
Well, for a start, how about posting your pic... let's see what you look like... men are visually driven creatures at both the best and worst times...
For all we know, you could be gorgeous, and we'll all be baffled as to why you can't meet a great guy... | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/5/2009 8:37:45 AM | | Did it ever occur to you it could be your attitude or preconceived notions about inter racial relationships of all kinds holding you back? I know for me I have been contacted by men of every race and background. Now I know you will say its because I am mixed...well my mom who is very dark skinned has had the exact same experience....so now what? We both have very open attitudes and refuse to let race be an excuse. I find that attitude comes through on profiles even if you never mention race at all. Check out my profile...not a word about ethnicity and so I get everyone feeling like they are welcome to contact me. I love all sorts of music but if i only listed R&B, Rap and Jazz as my kind of music I would undoubtedly attract only men into that scene...so first look at yourself...see how you are limiting your potential and fix that. Sometimes its not everyone else. | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/5/2009 11:24:43 AM | For me dating and relationships should be based on good communication.
If I were dating right now, I would not be looking for a woman under 40, a woman from a country where English isn't spoken or a black woman. I have found that commmon experinces help communication tremendously. If a woman doesn't know that Chicago Transit Authority made some great music, she'll not likely going to understand a lot of my background. Many ideas and concepts don't translate time frames, countries or races well. I work and play with people who are black and I have heard many times, "It's a black thang, you wouldn't understand" I believe there is a lot of truth to that. I see beauty, intelligence and grace in black women, but it would be a rare one that I would ask out. Even though we are a "melting pot" of a country in the USA, the experince of skin color still makes a vast difference. A relationship with someone with simlar backgrounds is difficult enough. I imagine adding a race difference would increase the difficulty considerably. | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/5/2009 1:30:33 PM | Yes, it is probably harder for you to find a date because you are dark skinned. Just like it is harder for shy and unconfident men or men who are short or women who have children to find a date relative to those who don't have these "problems".
Even you as a black man are telling me that my darkskin color is a HANDICAP, do you think that makes me enthusiatic about dating? If anything it makes me less enthusiatic. I shouldn't have to try harder, just bec ause my pigmentation is dark and that is what is so frustration. I am being treated like my darkskin is some kind of infliction
And you wonder why I have no self esteem from the comments you are making | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/5/2009 2:37:37 PM | | schooldaze....you couldnt be more wrong. We date whom ever we are attracted to regardless of colour if we are educated, open to the world and not stuck on old stereotype of our place in the world. I, along with all the beautiful black women in my family, are open to any thoughtful, giving and honest man. I have not been "dissed" by any man...black or white to drive me to that. I was however raised to believe I am every man's equal and jerks come in every colour. Its unfortunate some people are stuck behind old class and race lines in their own minds. | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/5/2009 3:25:14 PM | Even you as a black man are telling me that my darkskin color is a HANDICAP, do you think that makes me enthusiatic about dating? If anything it makes me less enthusiatic.
Okay, then don’t date and then you won’t have to worry about it anymore.
I shouldn't have to try harder, just bec ause my pigmentation is dark and that is what is so frustration. I am being treated like my darkskin is some kind of infliction
You’re right, you shouldn’t have to try harder. Just like shy and unconfident men shouldn’t have to try harder. Short men and women who have children shouldn’t have to try harder either, but that is just the way it is. Some groups in society have to work harder to get dates than other groups. Regardless, there are millions of black women with complexions like yours that date and get married. In addition, there are millions of men of all different races and ethnicities who are willing to date black women. Stop with self pity and using your complexion as an excuse. Your negative and self defeatist attitude is going to hold you back more than anything. | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/5/2009 4:32:49 PM | I'm in Michigan and it's very segregated up here. Even in the classrooms, white kids sit together and all the black kids sit amongst each other
I think that you are off in extending the idea that the extent of segregation in Michigan which you infer the southeast part that includes the most populated city precludes you from dating what you are interested in. That is the major metropolitan area in southeast Michigan has fewer african americans than does the metropolitan area of less populated major cities in the Southeast part of the US. So african american women who date outside their ethnicity more likely than not have variety. It would seem to be outside of the major city not unlike the demographic outlay of several less populated cities in the Southeast part of the US. So your premise is questionable. | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/5/2009 5:08:12 PM | mmmm black women/white men thing is kinda rare although I have seen plenty of instances in MI than in a few of the states down south where I have been. If you're looking for specific interracial dating then a freesite/paysite that caters to such is the answer.
It is segregated because people with the same ideals and preferences will flock toward one another. I don't think it is like the olden days where people were segregated by force. But if you like kiwis, pineapples, sugarcane and milk and I don't like any of those things why would I be bothered with you except for saying hello? Where there is common ground be it spiritual, mental, whatever there will be integration. | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/5/2009 6:40:06 PM |
Well, m_church, I don't know where you've been, but your ignorance and sterotypical beliefs reflect a lack of culture on YOUR part. Look around. Start in the White House. And understand that not everyone has to behave or look the way you think they should.
Well, thank you for pointing out my ignorance? with your insulting post...
Anyway to address your concerns about my post....
I've been in Europe, the States and Canada... I speak of what I have seen... with my own eyes...
As for my lack of culture...
No idea...
As for the White House, Hmm, I notice that President Obama got there in his own two feet without welfare handouts or by selling drugs... Also, I don't think he has to worry about his wife dragging him up on the Maury show to hear "You are NOT the father...." (Although, can you imagine the Ratings sweep...?) LOL
But I digress....
Since I will never get close enough to the White house to look there, I will have to go by my own area...
My last G/F had a son who was biracial... very good kid... finished college, well educated, probably makes more than everyone who posted in this thread combined...
The are a few black men and ladies married to some of my relatives... I'd happily share a beer with any of them...
One of those ladies is perhaps one of the most stunning ladies I have ever met... talking to her makes me REQUIRE a cold shower...
I've been in the position of being the guy in a bar to walk up to the only black girl in the place and ask her to dance, simply because she looked like she wanted to dance.... and didn't want to dance on her own... and impressed the hell out her actually... she and I are still friends...
ON the other hand I have been verbally attacked and threatened for taking a white girl into a black bar... of course the cowards didn't have the balls to face me... they shouted epithets from a safe distance...
I have also had runins with 'ghetto bunnies' ('hood rats' I believe is another term...) who spoke primarily a patois dialect of Rap Lyrics and psuedo Island drivel... collectively, their IQ probably was lower than a squirrel....
I have no problem with black women or black men, but I refuse to consider my views on stupid, uneducated( and I by uneducated, I mean people who refuse to get an education(ignorance at it's best...), not those who were denied the chance) people to be painted as racism either... I don't like stupid people, black, white or any other shade... But I respect people who are hard-working, and self-reliant and trying to do the best they can.... rather than people who have dragged themselves down and seek to drag down everyone they come in contact with...
On the whole, stereotypes are generated by the preponderance of people living up to said stereotype... and perceptions... You have your perceptions, as I do mine... both coloured (pardon the pun) by location and experience...
Likewise, I have the opinion that someone who resorts to insults does it because of low intellect... you may feel it's a sign of high culture... but I understand that not everyone has to behave or look the way I think they should.... | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/5/2009 6:47:25 PM | | Because black ''WOMEN'' who are very attractive and have good jobs and don't give you a second look, this is not a reason to knock them. I think your are looking for a mother or a dog to boss around. I don't think the name m church is suited for you. Maybe you should change it to DAH or maid wanted. I guess your into little boys or that other race from the orient who will obey their white master like a dog. shaply women are the way to go, so don't hold your breath there is someone out there for you but we don,t know his name yet. | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/5/2009 7:12:12 PM |
Because black ''WOMEN'' who are very attractive and have good jobs and don't give you a second look,
Did you even read what I wrote?
And if you did, why did you not understand it?
Otherwise, thank you for proving my point regarding insults.... | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/5/2009 7:15:50 PM | Well since most young guys are fixated on blondes that may explain why it isn't so common.
....but getting back to the question.
If your school is clickish and each stays with their own there may not be much chance to cross barriers.
Just how it is.
I do know two white guys with black women and very happy.
In each case the woman saw the guy as a GUY and not as a WHITE guy and made it work. After all, guys are guys and attraction is universal. Both women acted, dressed, and behaved in a way that attracted their guy. They each had their own style and grace that was neither black or white but very feminine and appealing. They didn't abandon their race or act white. They trancended both and all labels.
And I tell ya, those guys are lucky cus both of those women are very cute and very cool.
Hope this helps. | |
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| Why is there so little dating between white men and black women?
Posted: 5/5/2009 8:21:22 PM | I have dated a few "african american chicks" or whatever they call themselves these days.
It was cool, but their families hated me... no matter how good our connection was I forever remained the farmin cracker in the truck that wakes up the neighborhood (as if crack isn't delt 24/7)
If i could find a black girl with a less rascist family.... and maybe that lived in a nicer neighborhood (optional) then I would not have a problem in the world with dating black girls.
btw: whoever said once you go black...... don't kid yourself, especially black girls know that's a lie, and now that I've dated a few colored girls I know much better.
and it was fun, but it was fun like having sex is fun not exploring some crazy fetish as if i was dating the bearded lady, it was just dating..........
Frank | |
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