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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:58:12 AM | Is it really hard for you to grasp women, OP?
Deja vu.. I've said that before..
The barbie doll hottie type, perfect package/arm candy chicks (yes, plural) that I know think along these lines:
-"I get dolled up, pay for my appearance (as in hair color, stylist, clothes, shoes, hair removal, implants, nails, skincare etc), then he buys me dinners and pretty things because I'm pretty and he enjoys paying for things he gets to do in my company because I'm such a prize and trophy to show off to his buddies.
Heck, if I do things he likes, he'll marry me and I don't have to do those things anymore"
*and that is where divorces come from*
The equalizer chick type thinks:
- "I am who I am and don't need to starve myself to have someone like me for me. Heck, I am equal to if not better than any guy, so I can pay my own way and do what men do"
*easy to go along with her, cheap, too, impressive even, annoying in any long term since she is a ballbuster*
Then the golden medium (and there are few far and in between) type is hot or at least easy on the eyes, naturally born that way and basically thinks:
- "I am going to enjoy myself, be nice to everyone, old, young, male, female, animal alike, because it gives ME pleasure to be nice and somewhere along the way a good guy will come to like me"
*good luck finding that one*
So, OP, pick your type, act accordingly. | |
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Posted: 5/2/2009 8:02:56 AM |
No, 'cuz she'd be looking for Brad Pitt not Elmer Fudd trying to shoot da wabbit...
Saying unattractive women have better personalities than attractive women is like me saying stupid people are happy people - which was a theory I held until I met stupid, unhappy people. You need a larger pool of women to generalize.
I always did like you...
Back to the point of discussion -leaving off the table all of the "stuff" you do for a moment, and how THAT probably impacts who you meet more than anything else (as others already alluded to, it is more about the questioner than the question), I have observed as a general rule that there is something of distorted bell curve relationship between attractiveness and friendliness, with exceptions at both extremes of course.
Ugly, angry people are....ugly and angry. I don't know if being angry makes them ugly (which we all know can be the case in the moment...people can sometimes "get ugly" because of their behavior), or if the burden of being ugly makes them angry...but...there you are.
Pretty / Beautiful stuck up vain people are.....Pretty / Beautiful stuck up vain people. We can assume that being vain and stuck up doesn't make you beautiful, but it is sure as shit true that being endlessly spoiled and catered to will make a person vain and stuck up. And this tends to happen to very attractive people.
One of the reasons I don't pursue eights, nines and tens (and when I was younger, more fit, better looking and the stereotypical "football hero" there were plenty to go around) is because experience as taught me that such people typically are stunning self absorbed. They really do believe the world revolves around them.
I remember once I was in a strip club making banter with a stripper...she was talking about the stereotypes strippers / beautiful women face about being shallow, etc. She went on to "brag" about how her BF wasn't that good looking (charity case relationship!!! Excellent!! We shall nominate you for a Nobel peace Prize) because she loves "the person on the inside". Later in the conversation however she would express frustration on something her BF had done (something that struck me as de regieur for a 20 something guy - stupid, but what do you expect?) and then exclaim "he is lucky to be with someone who looks like me!!!".
See what I mean?
I think it is just the nature of the beast.... | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:06:27 AM | i'm actually rather shocked right now.... not because your descriptions are eye opening but because i never thought i'd hear my thoughts expressed by a female.....
i think i'll order a #3.... can i get that supersized and does it come with a sweet dessert? lol | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:07:07 AM |
hunting, guns, dirt bikes, camping, playing sports and the like....
These are a few of my favorite things. In fact rather proud that I just purchased my first three bedroom tent - can't wait to try to set that baby up in a rain storm!!!
Do you perhaps think I should be more thin and attractive?
I don't think the theory holds much weight. But perhaps there's nothing but unappealling women in Washington State? Or maybe you like high maintenance chicks and low maintenance entertainment? | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:22:57 AM | Again I really dont follow this type of thread particularly well. I really dont - perhaps my brain just works differently. Your issue seems to be on looks alone. Not the person. Infused a smidgeon with barbie doll/ action man mentality - you cant really change a species. They like what they like.
sorry.
Totters of to cuddle kitty | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:41:29 AM | What countrygrl12345 said, I would agree with. "The real pretty ones have been treated special for so long that they have come to expect a certain amount of extra special attention."
Being treated "special" seems to start in childhood, and just progresses with age ... and into the "boy meets girl" stage. Really pretty girls seem to be put on some type of pedestal ... and it is only natural that it "goes to some of their heads". And it seems only natural that they would work hard to maintain their best "feature" ... salon treatments, manicures, the nicest clothing, perfect hair ... as they age.
Those obsessed with being "at their best" 100% of the time just don't seem as much fun ... in the sense of "getting dirty" kinda fun, or going swimming in a lake, or going camping. (But then again, you do see some very attractive females in the outdoors also ... with their men ...lol)
And ... overweight girls who are fun can lose weight ... and some others "clean-up" really well too.... it all comes down to WHO is looking, and WHAT MATTERS more to them....
(this is all just my opinion... generally speaking. But I do have to add ... that alot of country ladies and girls I know who farm and play outdoors are gorgeous .. naturally. They may have dirt on them, messy flat hair and no make-up, dumpy old clothes ... but are beautiful regardless)
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:55:36 AM |
I have been told I look conservative and quiet and then people get to know me and are surprised that I'm so outgoing. Yep, people always think I'm very innocent and sweet, based on my appearance......
OT: Well, I think that the OP wants real old fashioned Tomboys to hang out with, but one who clean up well...He wants a combination of the Designing Women type and Annie Oakley: such specimens do exist in reality, but they are rare. Also, OP, am wondering, just how do you clean up? Anything like Daniel Craig?  | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 9:06:19 AM | I think we need some definitions here. Based on your post, attractive = pretty/beautiful and unattractive = ugly. I just find it inconsistent when you referred to these women as unattractive but in the party you have mentioned, you and your friends and some others are being drawn to them. Therefore, as urinemyway and afashoinlady had pointed out, your question is more of a reflection of you and your preferences.
Based on psychology, personality is the sum total of the physical, mental, emotional, and social characteristics of an individual. Therefore your generalization may have some basis. In your social world with those interests you've mentioned you do not expect the ladies to be effeminate and thin but rather had built up some hard muscles. They are not necessarily ugly and fat but I guess you're just not sexually attracted to less effeminate women but sharing the same interests you are socially attracted to them. You do not admire their physical attributes but there are men who are attracted to that kind of looks. Hence it's just all about preference. You said your gf is thin. I'll make a guess that she's not a hunter, dirt bike rider, etc.?
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 9:16:10 AM | I have a friend who probably doesn't realize that he consistently gives me the message that I am not trashy enough for him.
His comments probably don't register in his mind in quite the same way that they register in mine, but I get the message loud and clear.
He will wonder out loud why I won't date him in one breath, then disqualify me in the next.
He says he likes a certain thing in a woman and I will immediately recognize that I do not possess that quality.
I yam what I yam. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 9:19:46 AM | good grief !!!! can we just forget about MY interests or what I am loking for and just discuss if there is a tendency for women to be affable, fun, outgoing or conceited, superficial and materialistic based on their self perception of their appearance?
or should i start another thread asking why it is that most threads in here seem to always turn into OP bashing sessions? | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 9:33:04 AM | Silken Fire :Are you thin and good looking OP? Your profile lists "a few extra pounds". Why would you expect in a partner what you are not offering? Is it enough that you are "cool as hell" because you're "fun to be around" but not enough for the gals you meet?
 Thank you for saying that, since it always puzzles me that so many less attractive and less successful men, want or expect great looking women to be attracted to them. And lets be honest, when you have been hunting, fishing, or herding cattle like where we live, one isnt apt to look like someone ready for the cover of Playboy magazine. Am one of those people who believes that one needs to be what they seek.
seekndestroy :good grief !!!! can we just forget about MY interests or what I am loking for and just discuss if there is a tendency for women to be affable, fun, outgoing or conceited, superficial and materialistic based on their self perception of their appearance?
Hey YOU started the topic by asking a question with your name attached to the post. So dont whine when someone calls you on your hypocritical thinking, where you seem to suggest that some man whose not a babe, nonetheless seems to think he deserves or is owed a babe.
~Beth~ | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 9:34:09 AM |
So.. .you want a woman who enjoys hunting but looks sexually appealing to you while killing an animal??? Fine if the scope doesn't smear their mascara down to their chin or if the kick of a big bore rifle doesn't knock that tiny, precious thing on her ass a few times but I dunno... I don't think you are going to have a lot of success in finding a woman overloaded on both estrogen and testosterone. There's just something about gutting an animal that doesn't sync up with a nice manicure...
what i've come across a lot are women, who albeit, being unattractive to me, are just cool as hell and i find myself thinking "why couldnt she be thin and good looking?"
Are you thin and good looking OP? Your profile lists "a few extra pounds". Why would you expect in a partner what you are not offering? Is it enough that you are "cool as hell" because you're "fun to be around" but not enough for the gals you meet?
why is it that the "attractive" women simply arent so much fun to be around?
I know quite a number of attractive ladies who are a blast to be around. Granted, they may not be into killing things and their definition of "fun" may not include ripping around the hills on a quad but they still have awesome and interesting personalities.
I think that what you're actually seeing is the outcome of women being shunted off to the side when Dad is taking the boys in the family off to go hunting, shooting, fishing or simply to play rough. It's hard to cultivate an interest when you're not invited to get into it.
Had my own father not taken me onto a target-shooting range, I would not have an interest in going shooting but even then, I have no desire to kill an animal. Why not compromise and hang out at the target ranges? Women create life... We're not particularly good at taking life. I don't think you're going to like it if that changes.
Overall, I think you might be surprised at some of the interesting personalities hanging out under those attractive faces but if you want someone to share your male-oriented interests, you will have to settle for someone who has that extra dose of testosterone running through her blood. It shouldn't be a big deal if you don't mind a bit of a moustache on your women. Thanks for your spot on reply It's exactly what I wanted to convey but you do it so eloquently. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 9:46:41 AM | The answer to the OPost lies largely in the amount of testosterone a female fetus is exposed to at a critical phase in utero (6-7 weeks). Since this is can be of varying amounts, women's "brain sex" lies on a continuum, from girly-girl (virtually none) to totally butch (the max, while still developing into a girl/woman). The effect of testosterone is to masculinize, hence the former will have no interest (or competence) in typically male interests of the sort the OP refers to.
<div class='quote'>why is it that the "attractive" women simply arent so much fun to be around?
That's a slightly different question. But the sort of thing the OP was getting at is eerily similar to what was discussed twenty years ago by Warren Farrell in his book "Why Men Are The Way They Are":
A man experiences a dilemma when he finds that the most beautiful women have the least incentive to become well integrated in the other areas of power [besides sexual power]. He knows intellectually he should choose a well-integrated woman. But he feels torn between attractive women, whom he notices are choosing 'supermen', although he realizes supermen are often not well integrated themselves, and less attractive women, who have had more incentive to integrate all five areas of power [-have to see the book for the full discussion of what these are]. So he is caught between giving up his first and only condition for sex (attractiveness) and getting the condition met at the price of sacrificing the other areas in the woman.
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 9:59:35 AM | I see your profile says you are dating someone but obviously you are not very into her bc you still have your dating bait profile up and you earlier state you want girl #3 AND you are complaining how hard it is to find an attractive woman who is nice and fun (wants you). You also mention how special you are and that your ex was a gorgeous ****. Oh and you are overweight now (of course you have an excuse while all the fat women are simply not accetable - period).
Hmmm.
The conclusion I suspect from this is that you are not satisfied that your current woman is up to your standards looks wise but you have settled bc you can't find what you really want and if you did you probably couldn't "get" her so you bash her.
Maybe pretty girls seem ****y to you bc you are intimidated and know you can't get them so you automatically treat them horribly and they react in kind. Maybe what you see is a mirror of your own attitude towards them. I could be wrong. Just saying.
You are overweight and can't get the thin gorgeous ones anymore so you settled for now until you find someone better. Is that the bottom line. If you were with someone fun and attractive that is so hard to find what are you doing here complaining about how hard it is to find someone.
I am only on here when I am sick or my guy has his kids or he's out of town. Nobody who is happy in a relationship comes on here and starts ****ing about the opposite sex.
In the meantime you will **** about women to express your dissatisfaction at not having someone clearly out of your league.
Then you complain about OP bashing.
You bash pretty women, you bash your ex and you overrate yourself.
If I was dating you I'd be thinking about dumping you.
Oh and you kill for fun.
I think you are just bitter and frustrated.
Bash on the head. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 10:11:43 AM |
good grief !!!! can we just forget about MY interests or what I am loking for and just discuss if there is a tendency for women to be affable, fun, outgoing or conceited, superficial and materialistic based on their self perception of their appearance?
or should i start another thread asking why it is that most threads in here seem to always turn into OP bashing sessions?
Lesson to learn OP, next time you post another thread be direct to the point. Do not make a generalization while setting yourself as an example, that's when you open yourself to some bashing. Most part of your original post is about YOU, next time make a general example.
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 10:18:50 AM | well forumologist, clearly you are too fast for me and obviously nothing gets past you!!!
I hate women, im missing several teeth, have no job and live with my parents, i am sooooo ugly and huge that my dog runs every time i call his name (not sure if he's afraid of my looks or that i'll eat him if he comes). about the only thing that i have going for me is that i no longer need to spend loads of money on shampoo, but then again since im so big i cant even get up from the couch, i havent really taken a shower in years..... actually now that i think about it, i dont really hate women.... i hate myself but cope by taking it out on women... as for my gf i made her up.... she is the hottest woman to have ever been made on a computer.... not only is she hot, but she also cooks me the 20 lbs of food i eat every day and changes my diaper.... all with a smile !!!!
now if you are gonna do some bashing then have at it but please dont do me any favors and try to be somewhat civilized about it.... go all out !!! personally i think its funny that ppl take offense to other's opinions... no wonder everyone is so PC these days | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 10:33:14 AM |
....here is my point. I know that my interests and my job and not particularly popular among the female population and especially in this state (Wa., which is extremely liberal for those of you that dont know), nevertheless, i have found some (not many) women who have similar interests, namely: hunting, guns, dirt bikes, camping, playing sports and the like....i know the reason i like these is that my personality is such that said activities are appealing.... i tend to gravitate to physical activities that require some form of significant exertion....
what i havent been able to figure out is why it is that the women that seem to be into these type of activities are all (but one so far in 20 plus years of experience) the unattractive (to me) types....
what i've come across a lot are women, who albeit, being unattractive to me, are just cool as hell and i find myself thinking "why couldnt she be thin and good looking?" they are outgoing, up for just about anything, spontaneous and just plain fun to be around. i've made friends with several of them, but i just wonder, why is it that the "attractive" women simply arent so much fun to be around? do unattractive women "make up" with personality what they lack in looks? do good looking women think that their looks are enough? or that men will put up with their "boring" personality due to her looks?
im not bashing, and im sure us men do it too to some extent, but obviously im not here evaluating why guys act the way they do since im not really all that interested in them!!!! lol... i do truly wonder if this is just me, or if other guys have noticed the same and if women consciously "adjust" their personality based on their looks.....
Okay OP, I'm going to try to fairly address your post and try not to make you feel you are being bashed. But don't get mad if I disagree with you on any or all points. 
Pt 1: I too am from Washington State, though I don't live there now. I did not find it to be 'extremely liberal,' especially when you get out of the large urban areas and into the contrified places. However, I have no idea what liberalism has to do with your point here. Perhaps you could explain...
Pt 2: I've done a lot of physical stuff in my life: hiking, camping, cross country skiing, biking, running, weight training, that kind of stuff. I have observed a lot of very beautiful women doing these things. Women who made my blood boil because I knew I would never be that good looking. However, dirt biking, hunting, fishing: don't know any women who do these things, so can't say. I had a boyfriend once who hung with a crowed who did serious whitewater rafting. The women in that group looked as good as women anywhere else; however, they were not into makeup and pretty, feminine dresses, for the most part.
As far as good looking women being boring and just relying on their looks to get by: I suggest to you that hunting, camping, dirt biking and the like are not the only things in the world that are interesting. And there are many women who do many things that are indeed very interesting, though perhaps not to you: such as, in addition to the physical activities I listed above, they are into music, travel, various forms of artistic endeavor, theatre, and the list goes on and on. The activities you find interesting are only a very small representative of the interesting things there are to do in life. Good looking women don't just spend all their time shopping and sitting around being admired.
I don't really understand what the problem is for you. For some reason, you find a different type of woman attractive than those you encounter in your hobbies. So, I'd suggest if you want to meet those women, you go where you might find them. Maybe you could find one who would share one or two of your interests and you could share one or two of hers.
I do not think that appearance has a thing to do with interests. However, interestes may affect appearance. A man or woman who paints, for example, may be in different physical condition than one who is a serious runner, for example. Although many people are cross overs. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 11:22:08 AM | i have a different view of the thread. i took it to mean the same woman changing her personality to match her outfit. the answer, of course, is yes. a woman will act and talkdifferently based on her outfit. if she's dressed up for church, work, a night on the town or lounging around the house, her personality will change. consider the light blue jeans and tee(my favorite) to a low-cut, short lbd. of course she's going to be different.
the same reasoning applies to men. men in shorts and a tee are going to have different attitudes vs being in black tie. sweats in the park vs slacks and a dress shirt at the local club, etc. why there seem to be more women than men with multiple personalities, she has more outfits! | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 4:23:45 PM | Personally, I am a tomboy type. I do carpentry work, have long pretty natural nails, have long blonde hair mixed with red highlights, am average build with a nice rack, drove a semi for nearly 4 years...
I work in the yard and on my car...hood up...grease monkey....
Then I go in the house, shower, put on my little black dress, display the "wares", strap on my Evan Piccone shoes, apply my "exotic" makeup, don the jewelry pat my a** for good luck and hit the clubs.......
I love to camp, fish, hunt, hike, swim and sail....BUT, I'm a total girly girl.
My head is found quite often in a good book or doing research or writing poetry or an article or short story, or painting with Craypa's or chalk.
So, what's the big deal????? PEOPLE of either sex, of any socio-economic background, political leaning...etal, can be anything they want or aspire to be.
I might be unrecognizable one minute, covered with dirt and grime and the next smell like Chanel with smooth silky skin....I don't get it! | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 4:46:10 PM |
A woman who appears dowdy and plain probably is dowdy and plain in her thinking and in her personal life. It has been my observation that the most dowdy are content to work as a piker for a gold watch after 20 yrs. of service and who, at the end of life have about as much passion as a dish rag, only to find themselves at the end of their journey appearing to be a sexually blended thing instead of a vibrant, sexy, passionate female with life oozing from every pore.
That's a bit harsh...I worked for professor for a time who appeared pretty dowdy, but who was a brilliant intellect, and original character in every way. Her passion for her work was inspiring, and I can assure you she moved up the career ranks rapidly as she deserved to do. She was no "piker" and would have been far from content to put in twenty years of service for a gold watch. She had (and still has ) a loving and sexy husband who adored her and wrote poetry and music inspired by her.
Your opinion seems a bit at odds with the first part of your post:
I have NO patience or sympathy for a woman who allows our society, norms, mores, issues, magazines, media of any kind, opinion, political correctness or any other means to dictate who and what she will be or how she will appear.
You seem to suggest my dowdy friend should doll herself up a bit, or you shall assume the worst of her. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:10:42 PM | The thing is,
how do you know what a person is like after viewing them from across the room from 25 feet away in a party to know whether they are "boring" or "girly girl".
When I go out "on the town"; I do the stilettos and skirts, makup and curlred hair... I look like a girly girl.
and yet I can rockwall climb, keep score better than some umps in baseball games, predicted every play the vikes were goign to do their last home game, fish, hike, and frequently on the weekend I will be literally covered head to toe from dirt digging in the garden; and also follow hockey as well FAR from a girly girl...
and yet they are both me.
No one can make a snap judgment on anyone and define who they are from quick, non interreactive observation.
People's personalities are mutli layered. Regardless of what they look like. And regardless of who would or wouldn't consider them "attractive"
at least imvho... | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:37:28 PM | There is a lack of atractive and or available men that are interested in the same things i like too Op. That is called life, and is probably why most of the people on this site are here.
There isnt a woman or man on this earth, that if they would tint their ugly glasses would be happily married tomorrow. That is the problem aint it, there's no lack of singles or atractive singles. There is a lack of single atractive people that also have personalities that match our own! | |
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