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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:35:26 PM | Ok, here's my opinion on the subject. Attractive men and women might come off as being rude, boring, dull, etc, because they have pick of the litter, wait for someone to wow them, and therefore put forth less effort towards anyone average. This is based on only my experiences and obviously there is exceptions.
For example, say you bump into two women on one of your hunting trips. One is a supermodel, and the other appears to have been born and raised in the woods. You spend some time with both of them, which do you think is going to invest more interest in you? The supermodel will most likely give you the cold shoulder, and the other woman will do everything in her power to win you over, and insure you're having a great time. The less attractive of the two will come across as having a better personality, showing interest in your hobbies, asking you out frequently, etc. The supermodel probably has an amazing personality too, but you're competing with a ton of people, and unless you bring something new to the table, she'll put her interest and effort elsewhere.
This happens all the time when I'm talking with women, or out on a date. If they're extremely attractive, they invest practically no effort in the conversation and usually expect me to just sit there and entertain them. Send messages to 10 unattractive women on here, and 10 messages to the attractive ones. The less attractive ones will write you back, ask questions, try to arrange a meeting, and show interest in your life. If you're lucky enough to get a response from one of the attractive women, they'll probably write you a very brief message at most. Once again, who do you think is coming across as having the better personality? It's not to say the gorgeous women don't have a great personality, they just don't have the time or a reason to show you.
In short, people try to impress those which have desirable characteristics, and brush off those which don't. This might give you the notion of a good or bad personality, when in fact it's just their level of interest in you. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:59:44 PM | | Physical attraction is the 1st indicator. I haave learned to look beyound this. I have met quite a few guys that were not handsome but became so after getting to know them. Manners, smarts, charm etc made them more appealing. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:12:30 PM | I don't know, it might be me, but I have noticed a lot of really beautiful women these days and that is all they are. Beautiful.
Again, that may just be me and since I don't date women I really don't care, but it is my observation.
Pretty isn't everything...well except to some men. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:18:15 PM | as for me being average,... well you are entitled to your opinion, but if you asked me, i'd tell you that im exceptional and definitely unique.... i would hope you (and everyone) would think of yourself the same way.... so no im not looking for average, im looking for someone just as exceptional and unique and who is physically AND intellectually compatible with my uniqueness
That to me doesn't jive with your original post. Perhaps these overweight really cool chicks think of themselves in the way you described. Why is it you can think of yourself in those ways, but yet you don't see others the same unless they're drop dead gorgeous? You contradicted yourself in that paragraph.
I'd hate to break it to you, but as far as looks go, you're average at best. That might be my opinion but it also seems to be the general consensus. Perhaps your personality makes up for it, I dunno... but if you think of yourself as you described, it's really unfair for you to judge women without taking the same qualities into consideration. Someone psychically compatible to you is NOT Angelina. Wake up! I have to laugh because you seem to be the male version of the females you're finding physically unappealing (- yet they have really cool personalities!)
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:31:36 PM |
UMMM no! for some it's directed at the size of their shoe collection.....
And on the flip side, for some women, from what I hear, it's directed at the size of the man's shoes.
I'm just sayin...from things I've heard, of course.   | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 7:34:04 PM | Okay, I only read part of the first page but I think I see a pattern. First you find Angelina Jolie attractive, well not many women have bodies that weight less than their lips and have 6 children and who's to say she's not a nagging battleaxe, you are only going by her looks. You say your ex was the right look but not the right personality, yet there's AJ whom you don't know from chit but you assume if you met her while doing your thing the perfect woman would have walked into your life, so you spend a lot of time thinking about imaginary women instead of finding a real women who meets your needs. So I'm guessing you date women whom you feel you've settled for while waiting for something more AJ looking who can hunt and play football.....you see the pattern? 
I'm sure there are attractive slim women who would like to do all the stuff you do but I also imagine it's hard to look good for very long if they attempted to do the things you do. I mean you look pretty messy in the pictures, how's a women who's fussy about her looks and weight going to do all that and still manage to look all gussied up? I know a lot of women who do the things you like but they also look pretty roughed up like you, for the same reasons. Anyway, what's your current girlfriend look like? Does she cut the mustard for you? | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:20:41 PM | Dude I think you will find that you are attracted to the opposite of what you are. You are the testosterone filled male and do the predominately male activities. You are attracted to a woman that is not attracted to predominately male activities. You cave man It doesn't matter where you live in the US, men mainly hunt, camp, etc. Women that aren't into those activities are the ones you are attracted to, your opposite...ok, repeating myself and pretty much everyone on this thread. And besides, I can't hike in heals, I don't want to break a nail firing a gun at Bambi's father, and ewww bugs. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:23:38 PM | | Well, I am assuming that those activities seem fairly manly, and may be most of these women are Tomboyish and don’t like to wear make-up (I’m assuming here), like when you go hunting…the animals (the creatures, not the men) are not going to care what you look like. You don’t have to be thin to be beautiful. Beauty is within, so I heard. We are all individual and we each have our own little personality and attitude. :) | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:29:20 PM | ^^^^^^(I think some women are able to get this simply by showing up, they are that young, beautiful, sexy, fertile and desirable to most men. ( Think Megan Fox)
Other women may pursue that "approval" via their career and/or aspects of their personality.)
I think you need to reread your post! There are hardly anyone showing up and getting what they want as you put it(unless there is some type of sex involved). All women beautiful and unatractive have personalities, it's what kind of personality that's the question. There are also a lot of atractive women with flourishing careers, and there are some that work as waitresses that are very nice and completely beautiful. There are also a lot of unatractive women that have lame personalities.
Here is the low down guys unatractive women do not have a corner on the personality department. Atractive women do not have a corner on the B#tch department. If you are finding women atractive that kind of laugh in your face and or overlook you. It could be ding..ding ..ding here it comes You! It's not a conspiracy of beautiful women being born and raised to piss of men. You might have been the one they decided to run away.
We as women do not have physical strength on our side, but we always meet men that think they can manipulate or push us into dating them. In my opinion a lot of us women have a way of adjusting out attitude to let a man know we are not interested. Does that mean our personality overall is sucky...no. I would also think that a woman that is bombarded more than the average woman has a more efficient way of shutting a man down. Hence more atractive, more men she has practiced shutting down on. Does that mean that she is not a nice person in her day to day life...No. It means that she is not interested, does not want to give you any hope of interest.
Instead of these nice guy threads that make men look like victims or these all beautiful women and unatractive women are....which has the same tone to them. Why dont you just put an honest thread up that says I dont have what it takes to atract an atractive women, the women that I like dont like me!
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:49:40 PM |
I think in general, most women, probably nearly all women desire some form of social approval from
1) Men they find desirable in particular, to varying degrees.
2) Men they don't find desirable but the attention and complimentary behavior give them positive reinforcement/ego boost, to varying degrees.
3) Society in general, to varying degrees.
Cereal...please...I drive a Kia...believe me, only the Koreans are laughing about that one. Well, and my dad. Still...I'm hardly looking for society's approval, yanno?
I think some women are able to get this simply by showing up, they are that young, beautiful, sexy, fertile and desirable to most men. ( Think Megan Fox)
Other women may pursue that "approval" via their career and/or aspects of their personality.
See, now I find this really sad, that you would say that. First, I'm truly kafuzzled WHY you would think women ( or *some* women) are even giving a rat's ass about what society in general, or prospective dates in particular, are thinking? Come on, give us at least as much credit as you apparently give the menfolk, yanno?
And...who the hell is Megan Fox anyway? 
I don't pursue my career hoping for someone's approval, beyond my own, and obviously my boss's approval (since he's the one who signs my paycheques). It's rather arrogant though, to assume that women who actually have lucrative careers, are only (in your words) pursuing careers, or rather, seeking "approval" via their career and/or aspects of their personality, just to, what..please someone else?
Give over.
Megan Fox can be extremely mean to most men and get away with it ( i.e. still get a majority of whatever she wants out of them)
Again...who the hell is Megan Fox????
I think it's easier to be "positive" when you are surrounded by positive. I think it's easier to be "negative" when you are surrounded by negative. I think physically attractive people, men and women, are often treated better and given the benefit of the doubt more in most social situations. I do not think these are absolutes, but I think these are trends likely to occur.
I think there are good and bad people of all types of levels of attraction. I just think attractive people have no incentive to be nicer ( whether they do or not is individual based) and unattractive people have no incentive to be meaner ( whether they do or not is specific to them)
I agree wholeheartedly. People are people, some are nice, some aren't...some are ***holes...and ***holes will always be ***holes.
What I do find a bit disconcerting is the approach, by some not all, that good looking people must automatically be crappy no personality shallow and mean people and unattractive people are all sweet, funny, kind folks who help lost children and save puppies from the pound and have rainbows bursting out of their asses.
People either like themselves and feel comfortable in their own skin, or they don't. It's no different from "I'm such a nice guy/gal" or any other lament.
I find, as a general observation, that most women, most not all, I said MOST and NOT ALL, will choose whatever method to her personality, factoring in her looks, to draw in the most positive attention or social approval possible.
That's nothing unusual. It's called marketing. Men do the same. Come on, you can't tell me that you don't smile to your best side, or do whatever else on a date, that might show you physically to your best advantage?
Male or female...it's ludicrous to try to point fingers or "blame" others for doing the same damned thing that the opposite sex is also doing, IMO....
Or would you goodlooking guys prefer us women to say "well he's cute but...he just looks useless and well-polished to us, so we'll take a pass"?
Can't have it both ways, after all.  | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 10:56:35 PM |
That's a bit harsh...I worked for professor for a time who appeared pretty dowdy, but who was a brilliant intellect, and original character in every way. Her passion for her work was inspiring, and I can assure you she moved up the career ranks rapidly as she deserved to do. She was no "piker" and would have been far from content to put in twenty years of service for a gold watch. She had (and still has ) a loving and sexy husband who adored her and wrote poetry and music inspired by her.
Your opinion seems a bit at odds with the first part of your post:
Well, Marianne, my apologies to your friend, but maybe your definition of 'dowdy' differs from mine. Sometimes the treasures within a person are so brilliant that nothing but a plain wrapper will do. To be vibrant and colorful would be gilding the lily. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 11:38:40 PM | | I gave in and looked up Megan Fox, she's a very young women who looks like a skinny Kardashsian, as in Keeping Up with the Kardashians (spelling optional). Hard to tell what she really looked like, she had on 20 pounds of make up and pumped up lips. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 11:41:57 PM |
what i've come across a lot are women, who albeit, being unattractive to me, are just cool as hell and i find myself thinking "why couldnt she be thin and good looking?" they are outgoing, up for just about anything, spontaneous and just plain fun to be around. i've made friends with several of them, but i just wonder, why is it that the "attractive" women simply arent so much fun to be around? do unattractive women "make up" with personality what they lack in looks? do good looking women think that their looks are enough? or that men will put up with their "boring" personality due to her looks?
Actually Op i definitely have noticed this many times as well..I also say to myself "why couldn't she be prettier" or "be in better shape" etc..anyway the point is that, from my experiences average to unattractive women almost always have a better personality and are more fun to hang out with..and yes I do find most attractive women rather boring..i do believe that some of them rely on other "looks" to conquer everything..so yes i do find most attractive women rather boring..no so much less attractive women...
maybe that is why we have so many single/divorced women?..just a thought | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/2/2009 11:56:38 PM | | All I know is I have a kid face and it really bothers me, and I think people assume I am all sugar and what not. Though I actually am often it;s only when people try to belittle me I get pissed. I do think physical features tell you about the persons emotions, and personality. I think though like in my case, because I have such a "cute" look I am not mature or wise, but I am in many ways.:) | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/3/2009 12:00:42 AM | Attractive men and women might come off as being rude, boring, dull, etc, because they have pick of the litter, wait for someone to wow them, and therefore put forth less effort towards anyone average. This is based on only my experiences and obviously there is exceptions.
To the above statement, I think actaully attractive people to me come off as sensitive and intellegent and if I see a guy I am "trippin over", I think oh I don't want to bugg him, or he probablly wouldn't like me because he has some deep side I will never be able to understand, and often I think that can be the case or not, I actaully have had one really hot guy like me but, his lack of character, selling drugs, was the deal breaker for me. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/3/2009 12:12:14 AM | "What comes around, goes around!"
OP: These forums are littered with men complaining about womens' unrealistic expectations.
Now you've gone and done it by revealing our unrealistic expectations about them!
Why? Cuz her mascara would smear up the lens on the scope! And the dear would smell her makeup long before you'd ever see it!
Besides.........asphalt on a really hot day is hell in stilettos. Let alone some backwoods trail!
Not to mention, you do NOT want a woman whom feels the need to put make-up on........just to check the mail.
In summary, if you want a catch? Be a catch! Which you are not now. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/3/2009 12:23:49 AM | | Ah. I often have guys adore my personality. Usually I can keep them laughing and they tell me just how cool I am and how great it is to hang out with me. But they don't want to date me. Now I know why. Thank you op, for clearing that up. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/3/2009 1:30:19 AM | Why thank you. Would you like to go out? I'm joking of course......................
I'm also a size 14 (US size 10) which some guys consider not small enough.
Men are very fussy and those that say they are NOT looking for a "Barbie" are lying from what I've experienced. | |
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| is a woman's personality directly related to her appearance?
Posted: 5/3/2009 3:47:24 AM |
the question still remains though... does looks have a significant impact on a woman's personality? does she feel she needs to be more assertive with men (approach rather than waiting to be hit on) if she is less attractive? is she less/more likely to get upset if her man looks at another woman? is she more/less prone to get jealous? is she more tolerant of her man's interests?
my ex was attractive and thin, yet turned out to be controlling, nagging, intolerant of everything and all she ever wanted to do on weekends was to either sit around in front of the tv (w/out conversation) or go to whatever event SHE wanted to go to... yet her very unattractive sister was the opposite... raised by the same parents, same environment, same genes, etc etc... only difference was their looks. what gives?
I've noticed this too. And I concur that it's usually the case. Almost every single girl I've ever dated has been a late bloomer. In my experience, less attractive women generally develop more of a personality and an interesting life. I think a lot of it goes back to hs and college. Girls who are really pretty in those social arenas are catered attention to on a daily basis. Less attractive girls have to actually work for attention, and spend more time developing what it is that makes them who they are.
In my opinion, late bloomers are where it's at. For men too, ladies. This die falls both ways. The only way I've ever found it possible to date a woman I find both physically and emotionally attractive is to meet a late bloomer.
ymmv | |
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