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| why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 8/29/2009 5:12:01 PM | It depends on the age difference. For a huge age gap, both won't get "positive press", but I agree, the guys will get more flack. I think it's basis is much the same as the difference of situation where a good looking 25-year old teacher sleeps with a teenage student... if the teacher is female and the student's male, it's "better" than the other way around. I know it may be a little ballsy to say, but it stems from the concept that women aren't fully capable of making decisions and can be easily tricked/used/coerced into just about anything, and have no "naughty" sex drive, while males are in full control and all they have is a "naughty" sex drive. In the teacher-student scenario, there is a -some- LEGIT bias to be had, since teenage girls are more vunerable for physical coercion against adult males than a teenage boy is...
Point is that if a 40-year old guy's going out with 25 year old gal, it's "dirty" on the part of the guy, but not the girl... and I think the root of this thinking stems from the whole women-are-like-adult-children mentality. Take a 40 year old woman going out with a 25 year old guy, it raises an eyebrow but it won't be described as her "preying" on anymone, which I think lessens the impact. | |
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| why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 8/30/2009 12:23:59 AM | | Oh Yeah, That drives me crazy! All I get lately are older women interested in me. Like you said, I don't feel or act like my age at all. I'm 39 going on 19. I listen to modern hard rock, I stay in shape, I'm full of energy and still love to go out to the college bars and party with the younger crowd. But if I try and hit on a woman under 33 I feel like I'm doing something sleazy. I met a very pretty young woman in her mid 20's and talked to her for an hour, we got along great but when I asked for her number she said " your a really nice guy but your just too old for me" I was 34 at the time... way to crush my ego! But Last summer I dated a gorgeous 25 year old who chased and seduced me. She was insatiable in bed, it was the best sex I have had in years. Unfortunately she had issues that she promised to take care of and when she didn't I got mean and drove her away. But I can't help the fact that I am attracted to and get along better with women ten or 15 years younger than me. I just wish that more of them were attracted to me! And I Just Can't get into these Cougars, I feel young, look young, think young and act young.... so I want to be with a young woman. | |
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| why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 8/31/2009 5:34:32 PM | too bad you are in the states...i am younger than you
anyways what you do is your busines...they are not sixteen years old
i disagree with you
society is more critical when a woman dates a younger men
more power to them
look at Joan collins and tina turner...their companions are younger then them...i know people who are dating men younger than them and they are in they 60's...good for them | |
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| why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 9/2/2009 12:57:57 PM | | It's the novelty value and also the dynamics of the people involved. Women usually couple with at least slightly older men. For people to be upset about something, it has to be a strong presence. For example, in order for there to be racism in a country, there has to be a large minority group. Furthermore, who's going to be upset about older women going after younger men anyway? Not older men; they often have a better shot with the young women than the young men do. Also, everyone gets older, so the appeal of age itself, if that is even a factor, is a moot point. So if someone does have to "settle" for a young woman, she won't be young for long and everyone's happy. On top of that, a lot of these relationships aren't particularly serious. The older woman isn't looking for an equal partner and the younger man probably isn't expecting to be in that relationship 10 years down the road. | |
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| why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 9/5/2009 2:55:56 PM | 1. Dude, you totally look your age... mom's a liar (jk) 
But yeah,
I think it has something to do with girls being insane and confusing in general, as it makes 0 sense that anyone should care and that seems a viable enough excuse for me.
But for some reason myself being 30 feel a small twinge of creepiness when I message a hot 18-22 year old (small twinge, horniness > creepiness), yet have no problem with some cougar messaging me, and find it not creepy in the least...
hear that cougars? start messaging me damnit  | |
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| why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 9/9/2009 5:02:55 PM | It's only "bad" to the older women who cant compete and are really pissed off that they let themselves go SO BADLY, the only man who ever HAD em when they were hot and fresh, was the man they married back then and couldnt keep.
Those women who say it is BAD that you are going for as young as you can get are the ones that want a vibrant man like you.
They forget that it is genetic programming for men to be attracted to the most attractive woman in sight. INITIAL attraction is ALL about the visuals.
Once I was hangin in a bar/club with a younger buddy of mine. A bunch of his acquaintences came in, both genders. There were TWO women sort of sitting off to themselves who I went over and introduced myself to. Keypoint here is that they had really short hair cut in a style that most women over 50 start wearing, not quite Halle Berry short, but certainly more matronly than youthful. They were also dressed more middle-aged "smart" looking than the rest of their crowd.
We started talking and all of a sudden I heard BOTH of them start with some snide comments about some other patrons (women). ALL of the women they were gossiping about had longer hair. I mean TO the shoulder, past the shoulder, or even mid back. GREAT looking hair too. Very sexy.
I finally asked them" What's the deal with the criticism of the longer hair"
They BOTH said, that a woman CANT be taken seriously as a GROWNUP if she has long hair. Said that the age for long hair is DONE by 21. They were serious.
I later learned from my buddy that they were two of the most sour girls in the group, already bitter and jaded, and hadnt even been married yet. | |
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| why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 10/17/2009 5:48:51 AM | Well it's about time!!!!! Men have been doing it for years things have just took a turn for the better.
I hate this pathetic comment. Why not just say it right, that us men today are to pay the price for what men in the past did. Turn for the better? Then the guy who is hot at 25 that you are dating says 2 years later he wants kids and you go running because you already had yours...then what? Oh ya the guys your age become acceptable to date right?
These days it seems men are just perverts, pigs or players. Women can do no wrong and are always right. Being labelled a cougar sure doesn't SOUND like an insult. Geez it is a cat that you are being described as. A feline. Better than someone blurting out "Hey Joe you pervert" now that is more a derogatory comment.
The double standard is definitely in place nowadays and when a guy is seen talking to a younger woman, women who are his age who would not date him or have any interest in him, are always the first to call him a dirty old man or pervert. Interesting I find.
I talk to women from 20-50, I am social and enjoy meeting people.
Have never dated anyone much younger than me. Usually has been 4 years younger at the most. Never dated anyone say 10-20 years younger. Have had many that have liked me but after getting to know them by either just talking to them or taking them out on a date for dinner and drinks. So I couldn't act on it for a pure physical sense, that is just not me. But yes there are many guys who would. I am flattered that a woman in her 20's sees my qualities. Wish a woman 40 would too but she sees flaws immediately. But a woman 40 would know better and is seeking out the things she does not like in a man faster than her fellow younger women. Whereas a woman in her 20's, let's say, would overlook those flaws easier, and find them out later.
And alot of women who have kids will not date a guy who does not. Where a woman younger who has not had kids, will sometimes date an older guy who does not as well.
I think for me, the much younger women who have liked me in the past found that being single, never married and no kids in my late 30's was atttractive to them because that added to their tought of he has no committments and family responsibilities. He is fun and free. Women closer to my age as I got older found it a turnoff that I have never been married and have no kids. Which is strange because I would be acceptable if I had a couple of kids and/or an ex-wife?
Plus women say in their 40's usually won't find a guy close to her age attractive physically, is why she chooses younger for her sexual satisfying needs. I believe women in thier 40's and up are way more sexually active than women between 18-30. All a mindset.
I have come to the conclusion that women in their 20's want to experience fun dates and find that men in their 20's are not that fun to be taken out by. But not as many younger women these days will date older men is the catch. There are alot out there who will, just not as many as past generations.
Women in their 40's and up want to experience some mindblowing sex, and find that men their age just do not cut it. I know I am not going to rock your world in bed, why should I lie? And she doesn't feel her age when she is with younger attractive men. Also it is way more socially acceptable for women to date much younger.
Younger women with older men, both are accused by older women with negative comments. he is a dirty old man, pervert. She is a gold digger, using him for his money and/or car and/or status.
When I was 35 I took a 23 yr old woman out on a date for dinner and drinks. I got more of a look from the waitress of "Isn't she young?" I could tell by just the way she looked at the woman I was with. She was probably thinking "What a dirty old man" or "What a gold digger" But that is society for you. We had a fun date out, but no connection because we are not on the same mindset.
In the end women always get what they want. Always have the control. And can always do no wrong.
Also why is it always women say 'I want a man who can satisfy me sexually'
How come it is a one way street? As long as she is only satisfied sexually? This I don't get. Why not a man who knows how to please you and you know how to please him?
And please what is with this "I have had my kids, was the good wife, now it is my turn"
Almost like it was a burden to have had kids and have been married.
Maybe one day men and women won't be so bitter towards one another...or maybe not. | |
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| why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:26:14 AM | BECAUSE!!!!!! It IS!!!!!
But seriously...if the two people involved are happy, (or 3, or 5, or...?!?!?!?) then who really cares...
Obviously a man MY age who is continually drawn to women half his age, (OR a woman for that matter...) is looking for something to be found ONLY there....(Firm perky breasts and no "history" for the men (so I'm TOLD!!!)...An "ever-hard-on" and rock hard abs and a sense of fun for the women....)
And really...what's wrong with that?!?!? 
Just keep in mind that finding someone of another generation to relate to has it's own sets of hazards...and don't whine when you find out she only "loves you for your money" or he "really just needed a place to crash!".... | |
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| why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 10/19/2009 12:06:45 PM | Times have changed. men have expiry dates, usually if we are single still at 40, the dating options become slim pickings. The young guys under 35 are all the rage for almost all women over 20. Men between 25-35 are the guys I believe the majority of women want. Unless an older guy has money, he is not going to get many dates.
Make sure you are willing to spend over $75 on a night out, then you will get dates. Don't be cheap...I spent about $300 on 4 dates in one month. Was worth every dollar. Would do it again too, just have to space the months out LOL...Oops that sounds like I am being cheap LOL | |
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| why is that an older woman looking for younger men is OK but...older men for younger girls is BAD
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:10:48 PM | Interesting topic.
First of all, so-called "cougars" do get a bad rap. Do you think "cougar" is a flattering term?
But the difference is this: men who consistently date much younger women often (not always; I know there are exceptions) have serious domination/control issues. Sure, they like sex with nubile young bodies. But many of them also want women who are less worldy than them, less savvy, and who they can make financially dependent on them. | |
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