| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/5/2009 4:20:53 PM |
There have been a few times when I've offered to pay men to escort me someplace I had to go and didn't wish to go to alone... sex wasn't involved.
Were you paying 300.00/hr for that? I personally do not know of any escorts who are literally escorts to some function unless sex is involved somewhere. | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/5/2009 4:27:57 PM | There have been a few times when I've offered to pay men to escort me someplace I had to go and didn't wish to go to alone... sex wasn't involved.
Were you paying 300.00/hr for that? I personally do not know of any escorts who are literally escorts to some function unless sex is involved somewhere.
That's where i raise my hand.....
You personally do not know.... doesn't make it a fact of life.
it happens. and I'm paranoid so i may have missed some chances for sex because what if it was a sting. But that's not ok to do with a client in any proffessional environment, so why would it be ok because they bought you dinner?
i had an offer the other day to pretend to be a lesbians bf' i kindly declined but i guess my numbers still out there, haha.
Frank | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/5/2009 4:41:25 PM | I posted this topic so I could get some honest feedback, and discussion. This is a complicated issue and as such, will and should have a large range of points of view. So please no personal attacks. Since it is a personal deal breaker there are no right or wrong answers.
As I understand it when you hire an escort you are paying for the time. Sex is not guaranteed; but usually is a given. I understand there are social norms and such, and I don’t mean to make light of them. Having said this; what about the poor smuck that just can’t get a date!!!!!
There also seems to be a lot of semantics as to what constitutes paying for sex. Buying diner = sex, buying drinks = sex, buying dinner and drinks I surmise means GREAT SEX.
As for how many people did the escort sleep with and does it bother the man, I have no idea; but do we really know how many partners any one our age has had during their life time. Remember it takes just one unprotected incident to get a STD.
 | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/5/2009 4:57:57 PM | honest feedback: If I got along well with someone and we got serious, I would like to think that if he was crazy enough to share that kind of information with me about his past, I'd be okay with it (provided it was in his distant past and wasn't an on-going habit, broken only after he'd met me. And provided his "bits" were still there, healthy and functional) However, I don't know.....
I mean, I thought I knew what I'd do if I was ever in an earthquake, but when I ended up in a real one my actions (or inaction, as was the case) were quite different than what I had imagined they would be...... | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/5/2009 7:20:17 PM |
Okay...I see your point. I have no stats on this kind of thing, but my perception is that clean, sober, drug free prostitutes are in the minority...perhaps I am wrong. "
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This was me, ADMITTING that I don't know all the demographics involved in the sex trade...why the hell would I, by the way?
If that's the case, you are ignorant.
^^^^^^
Ummmm....good comeback? I just SAID I don't research the secret lives of hookers....help me out...can I find that info on STATSCAN?
Not all prostitutes have pimps.
No, but how would you know? Or don't you care? I see pimping as vile, plain and simple. Perhaps you are okay with it.
For example in Canada, Prostitution is legal, however pimping is not.
And in Canada, no one ever does anything illegal. Problem solved.
Nobody is asking you what is your opinion of male escorts so I don't see what your point is. futhermore male escorting is totally different from female escorting.
Welcome to 2009. Anything that can be required of a female (i.e. a willingness to overlook her partner paying for sex) can be asked of a male, too. Do you think a lot of men would be okay with knowing that their beloved paid a male prostitute for sex? If women are expected to look the other way about such a thing, then so should men.
If you don't care, then why do you still have a problem with it? What do you find so reprehensible about 2 consenting adults exchanging something behind closed doors? Saying it's "nasty" or "immoral" is not an answer. Just because you would never engage in such an activity doesn't mean it's wrong.
What I said was I don't care how difficult/easy/cheap/expensive it is for anyone to get laid, except for me and my significant other. See, me and my significant other should look at important things the same way...."get" each other's point of view, if you will. You are correct; just because I would not do something doesn't mean it is wrong. It does mean it is not acceptable to me. Hell, if smoking pot, cheating on you income tax, or wearing socks with sandals is acceptable to you, then it is acceptable to you. If not, you have every right to reject the pot-smoking, income tax evading, sock wearing individual as a potential mate. If a person feels that prostituting/pimping/paying for sex is okay, then he is not the person for me. | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/5/2009 7:32:47 PM | Mayflower Madam,” Sydney Biddle Barrows, wrote in her book that some men never had sex with her girls, but often wanted someone pretty on their arm when in the city on business.And she said a lot of the men wanted someone who would pay attention to them and listen and have a great conversations with. Her women were college women. Growing up mistresses were very common amongst our family friends. Different cultures have different ideas.
~Beth~ | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/6/2009 9:22:35 AM |
What would you think if you found out someone you were interested in, had used an escort service in the past? Would it be a deal breaker
Hmm, well that's something I wouldn't ask until I was in a relationship with the person. If we're perfectly compatible and everything is going fabulously, I can't imagine I would walk away just because he'd paid for sex at some point.
If he had some sort of paid sex fetish that he couldn't get over while in a relationship, he'd have to hit the road. | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/6/2009 10:10:13 AM | Marianne,
Do you think a lot of men would be okay with knowing that their beloved paid a male prostitute for sex? If women are expected to look the other way about such a thing, then so should men.
Well for me the answer is "Yes"... as a matter of fact, I even bought lap dances (male stripper) on at least one occasion for my Ex when we were together | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/6/2009 10:13:03 AM | | No..what is the difference between paying and getting it for free with no strings attached? Hell I think I should have been paid for services rendered sometimes..especially it it worked out more in the other person's favor. Sign, the things we think of after the facts mhmmm? | |
|
| If you found out...
Posted: 5/6/2009 10:26:35 AM |
isn't it amazing, that no one on this board has a father that used a prostitute during the war? You're all so squeeky perfect!
I gotta agree with you there...... gotta luve the puritanical hypocrasy.. In many instances it's way better (and safer) than a guy slobbering with and bangin some random skank at the local bar who is drunk and lax about using condoms and been with more men than the local hookers ...
There were more than a few gals in college who were nastier than any escort.. obviously std's do not limit themselves to escorts.... | |
|
| If you found out...
Posted: 5/6/2009 10:39:40 AM | So how much for an hour Sepia? lol j/k
Feel free to rip on me for that one.  | |
|
| |
| If you found out...
Posted: 5/6/2009 10:42:17 AM | In many instances it's way better (and safer) than a guy slobbering with and bangin some random skank at the local bar who is drunk and lax about using condoms and been with more men than the local hookers ...
Well, I *think* many women would prefer men do neither. A woman who values her sexuality as only being used as an emotional AND physical expression between two people who care about each other is generally going to want the same attitude from her partner. Paid or not. | |
|
| If you found out...
Posted: 5/6/2009 11:51:11 AM |
A woman who values her sexuality as only being used as an emotional AND physical expression between two people who care about each other is generally going to want the same attitude from her partner. Paid or not.
She can want that all she wants... hell I want a porsche and to live in LA in Oprah's house.. but it's unlikely to happen..This is the real world we live in.....
No question we all want a pristine partner to respect themselves and their bodies etc but lets keep it real here- men are sexual beings(pigs) and yes many women are pigs too...Everyone has a history..
... So in the scheme of things I would rather a man who was at one point single and horny and paid an escort/ professional who used a condom ( sans kissing).. just clinical empty sex.....and not some bar slut who doesnt even take responsibility and not use a rubber.. and humps anything in pants...
Its all semantics a whore is a whore - one gets paid the other doesn't - one is safer about stds the other doesnt give a shyt..
Feel free to rip on me for that one.
*slapps js with a rolled up newspaper* how DARE you? actually the plan was to make a few bucks pimpin you out to a few well heeled degenerates
vvvv My sentiments exactly... ironic how the same people who embrace fwbs and f*k buddys frown on this issue.... comical.. | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/6/2009 12:02:18 PM | Let it go. Its not a big deal. Guys need sex. plain and simple. Whats the big deal?
Ask him if he ever raped a girl. If he says YES, then be worried. | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/6/2009 12:11:13 PM | "actually the plan was to make a few bucks pimpin you out to a few well heeled degenerates"
Well it wouldnt be the first time I was forced to sell myself to a pimp I owed for making derogatory comments to on a Plenty Of Fish message board, and I'm sure it wont be the last. Just try and station me at least a block away from "Tripod" Johnson, that f#cker always steals my business. | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/6/2009 1:36:45 PM |
That would be a dealbreaker for me.
Using an escort means he opened himself up to many, many more chances of getting an STD than your standard "oops" ONS that so many people have done.
Use the math....(this is just an example!):
Average Joe (10 partners) and you (6 partners)=16
Average Joe (10 partners) and escort (50 partners)=60
That's way too much STD roulette for me....
You left something out of your math equation. How many partners did the partners have etc.
Average Joe (10 partners (who had how ever many other partners)) and you (6 partners (each of whom had an unknown number of partners))= waaay more than 16 chances at a disease
Average Joe (10 partners (who had how ever many other partners)) and escort (50 partners (each of whom had an unknown number of partners))= waaay more than 60
I've had sex with one person in my life and I recently found out that they were fooling around on me. So for me it would be (1 partner) times (her 5 partners) times (however many partners each of them had before her) times etc. etc. etc.
Seeing their profiles on myspace it looks like they have been real busy. One jerk was on his second marrage and his wife had her baby while this was going on.
So how safe am I for anyone to date? I'm not so sure it matters anymore. Escort or not sex just isn't safe. | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/6/2009 1:41:02 PM | Rereading this I need to correct what might be misunderstood.
I'm not so sure it matters anymore.
I meant I'm not sure it matters who a person has sex with (escort or not). It isn't safe to have sex.
I did NOT mean that it doesn't matter if I'm safe for anyone to date! | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/6/2009 2:48:22 PM | Regarding sex and "safety"... if anyone is *truly* concerned about safety, here's a list of things that are far more likely to kill you than sex... based on actual statistical data:
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr56/nvsr56_10.pdf
1. Driving a motorcycle
2. Driving a car
3. Smoking or other chemical addiction.
4. Drinking Alcohol to the point of drunkenness
5. Eating too much/unhealthy diet
6. Exposing yourself to stressful situations
7. Lack of sleep (makes stress worse)
8. Poor mental health/suicide
9. Not exercising regularly
10. Catching pneumonia
11. Catching the flu
12. Accidental Poisoning
When I look at actual death statistics, deaths caused by STDs doesn't even make it into the top 10 in places like North America or Europe.
In the greater scheme of things, sex isn't very risky compared to many other things everyone does every day... unless you're taking a trip to Africa... | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/6/2009 3:38:45 PM | | lets put it this way, when i found out that my ex had cheated on me, it was a double whammy that he cheated on me with a stripper!!!i actually called her and she talked to me for an hour. found out lots of things. like it was an ongoing thing, not just a one night stand. then she told me she told him that he should wear a condom cause she didn't know what diseases she might have and he declined!!! in my eyes if you will ___a escort or stripper what's next? a crack whore? how low will a man go. his defense was that all men do it. so that is my question to you. do all men cheat? | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/6/2009 4:58:58 PM | i actually called her and she talked to me for an hour. found out lots of things. like it was an ongoing thing, not just a one night stand. then she told me she told him that he should wear a condom cause she didn't know what diseases she might have and he declined!!!
That sounds like complete BS... and if it did happen, I bet the girl was totally messing with your head to get you OUT of the picture. | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/6/2009 5:11:03 PM | ok.... hunk of meat...... nice moniker for an innocent, almost virgin bio, picky master of self control,, your words belie the image you project with your come hither, oiled up, well coiffed "persona"..... so you wanna do it? lmao jk lololol
 | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/6/2009 6:30:51 PM |
Do you think a lot of men would be okay with knowing that their beloved paid a male prostitute for sex? If women are expected to look the other way about such a thing, then so should men.
Well for me the answer is "Yes"... as a matter of fact, I even bought lap dances (male stripper) on at least one occasion for my Ex when we were together
The important thing is that you are on the same page. If you both think it is fine to pay for sex, then there is no problem, whether it happened before or during the relationship.
| |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/7/2009 7:25:05 AM |
ok.... hunk of meat...... nice moniker for an innocent, almost virgin bio, picky master of self control,, your words belie the image you project with your come hither, oiled up, well coiffed "persona"..... so you wanna do it? lmao jk lololol
When you are treated like one... shrug. And no thanks I'd rather not do it anymore. I'll leave it at that. | |
|
| If you found out he used an escort
Posted: 5/7/2009 8:48:48 AM | Hi Marianne,
The important thing is that you are on the same page. If you both think it is fine to pay for sex, then there is no problem, whether it happened before or during the relationship.
Yes... and also the context is also important.
In the time I cited where I paid for a lap dance for my Ex, that was at a 40th birthday party for a female friend of ours.
I don't see going to the odd strip club or even a escort if it's just a special occasion thing.
But if it is a regular thing, I think it's necessary to explore why. | |
|
Home
login 
