| Their families and friends......
Posted: 5/7/2009 9:09:31 PM | They're trying to get their family and friends off their back by bringing you over so they can say "see, i have a girlfriend"!!! | |
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| Their families and friends......
Posted: 5/7/2009 10:15:41 PM | This is pretty much a non-issue for me as it concerns my son, even if I were interested in bringing someone into my life while son is still young, we would have to be very far along in the seriousness stage before she were to meet him. He has a mom, doesn't need another.
As for the rest of my family, I am sufficiently different from the clan that meeting them would either cement our relationship or tear it apart. As the self proclaimed "black-sheep" it is hard to picture me in that element or that we fell from the same tree.
TK
{doesn't usually admit it, but there was that very friendly mailman ...} | |
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| Their families and friends......
Posted: 5/8/2009 3:45:52 PM | Well, for me it is one of those red flags that wave themselves if anyone cares to see it. I am not comfortable with being overwhelmed by their family soon into the relationship. It is just not wise because it can color your take of the whole relationship if you really like them or don't. The last man I dated had a wonderful family, just wonderful, too bad he turned out not to be. I have retained my frienship with his SIL, but we do not talk about him.
On the other hand, I did date another man for three or four months and he did not introduce me to his family. I thought it curious after a while because they lived ten minutes down the road and it seemed silly at one point for us not to meet because he talked about it happening all of the time. Hmmmm...........I saw red flags waving and with good reason. He had been in some trouble, so it seems, years before and was afraid for me to find out. As it happens, I did meet his brother after we stopped seeing each other because he ended up being the car mechanic who fixed my daughter's car. His troubles would have not been a deal breaker had he been honest with me.
Red flags, there are so many if our eyes are open to see them. | |
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| Their families and friends......
Posted: 5/8/2009 6:14:39 PM | Been there done that with a FWB. I was 32 and she was 49. Her daughter was around 25. I never understood why she wanted me to meet her daughter. LOL I actually enjoyed it. Yes the woman was desperate. I was play with daughter's hair, I don't know I couldn't resist it was long and beautiful. The thing is neither of them say or did anything. I was quite shocked. I was doing mostly to give her a hint. I didn't want a relationship with her but she never really got the hint. She never brought it up either when we were alone why I was playing with her daughter's hair.
I don't mind meeting family can't be worse than mine. I envy my brother in laws families are more loving and civil kind of people. | |
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| Their families and friends......
Posted: 5/8/2009 8:12:23 PM |
They're trying to get their family and friends off their back by bringing you over so they can say "see, i have a girlfriend"!!!
...Hmmm, now why didn't I think of that?
My family doesn't live in the same province as me (thank goodness) but that seems to be the first question out of their mouths...."So....do you have a boyfriend yet?"
...maeflowers | |
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| Their families and friends......
Posted: 5/8/2009 8:33:19 PM | Every meeting is so different and always fraught with subtle under and over tones. I've made friends online and through penpal organizations who I was quite comfortable introducing to my family at our first meeting. Then I've dated a gent or two that I would never take home and ended up not seeing them again after a few dates. If I had children living at home, I would not introduce any guy until I was certain there was something special between us. The ex and I were required to take a parenting class during our divorce that addressed the dating issue. The recommendation was to not bring anyone home until we had been monogamously dating for six months. LOL
Call me paranoid, but there are too many pedophiles in this world and they do troll the web looking for nice people with children and they do exploit the situation. Then there are the cons and grifters. LOL If I sound pesimistic, I'm not. I am realistic and I do take precautions. This is not the safest world and I like my life. So, I'll be the gal playing it safe, and I hope you all do, too. Be open, take a risk or you won't be living, but take it easy, too. Hugs. | |
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| Their families and friends......
Posted: 5/8/2009 8:47:51 PM | "That sounds like an awful lot of pressure to put on someone right out of the gate."
I so agree.
Just returned from a vacation where multiple friends, brought a friend who had wanted to meet me after see me in photographs.
Date 2 his daughters showed up (ages 30 and 17) to tell me they approved...............Say what? | |
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| Their families and friends......
Posted: 5/9/2009 8:24:41 AM | Its the norm if you are ready for a serious one/one relationship that is leading to an ltr with or without marriage. makes perfect sense to me. if you dont accept my family, friends and especially my kids we dont have a future. now if a person is wanting to do that early in a realtionship my first instinct is to back off real quick and in a hurry. if i am not sure that an ltr with this person is on MY agenda i dont want to get involved with kids and family. especially if the kids (or grandkids) are yougn. i am a sucker for kids anyway and i dont like to see them develop a bond with me that ends with me leaving them. be careful in anyone who wants to rush family meetings before you are ready.  | |
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| Their families and friends......
Posted: 5/9/2009 9:23:42 AM | I can see looking at this in 2 ways.
1st if your really wanting to see what this person is you could get an Eye Opener looking at there Friends and Relitives the sooner the better so you can run if you don't like the drama of there people.
Or 2nd Some have security issues with young children and meeting new people. But in this case if your trying to protect your children from someone maybe you shouldn't be with this person in the 1st place.
If one lets a relationship move and grow on its own this "Meeting Friend and Relitives" will come naturally. You will just end up at some sort of gathering with all the Inlaws and Outlaws. | |
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| Their families and friends......
Posted: 5/9/2009 9:24:35 AM |
Now had he brought dog treats?
Miss Grean? lmao...where you there hun? Yes, at one point, he brought a toy for my dog and my cat! Not to mention giving me his family calendar about two weeks into dating. He smothered the hell out of me. Oh? And also wanted the parental meeting 3 weeks after we met. When I broke it up for the second time, he wanted his calendar back? Good grief! Then there was another chap who, on the very "first" meet, told his parents he couldn't go over to their place that nite, as he was meeting with his girlfriend! And I wonder why I am still single? | |
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| Their families and friends......
Posted: 5/9/2009 9:24:52 AM | | I think it's important for two people to get to know each other first, before friends and family are brought into the mix (and especially children). I dated a really nice man who wanted to do things the other way around. He brought me around friends, his young daughters, and extended family right away. We didn't spend any time alone the two months we dated. I tried to suggest we spend time alone, and I guess, if I had to speculate, he wanted to see how I fit into his world first. It became very overwhelming for me. It was a learning experience. He's a great guy and I miss his company but it felt like I was dating everyone around him but not really him. I wouldn't do that again. I think I could have been anyone as long as I liked the things he liked and got along well with his children. I was beginning to lose my individuality. So, my advice to you is to be sure he likes you for you, and all the wonderful things that make up you, and not because you are a good fit for him. He needs to be a right fit for you, and if you are not comfortable going this route, you should speak up now. Once you get to a certain point it's hard to disconnect with that extended world, rewind, and start over. Your gut is telling you something - so listen to it. | |
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