| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:19:57 AM | You had me until the stripper part.
Eek.
I dont know...every woman I know holds high standards for herself...to lower yourself to stripper standards, you're kind of...I don't know how to finish this statement. LOL.
I suppose at the bare bones of it all...survival of the fittest, gotta do what you gotta do. I dont know if I'd consider her successful for making her money through stripping though. | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:15:31 AM | Until men start being the vessel to reproduce a child inside their womb, I think they have no idea what decisions are to be made for the fate of those children. (Guy left in the story) Adolescent men are skirt chasers and it is chalked off as hormones gone wild. Ok, so think back men to all those drives ....fast forward to your 30's ( if your in that bracket) and tell me you took full responsibility for every sex act in your life....What this story shows is that men tend to be irresponsible too...yet the women bear the larger brunt of the repercussions ...raising those kids!
Her decisions are based on her situation, I'm surprised by some of these responses ....but maybe I shouldn't' be....we all perceive from own own perspective...but it is not our decision is it..it was just a story to tell....Maternal instinct are in place in woman...we don't' give a rats ass what anyone thinks when it comes to protecting our kids...as long as we have them...hone in on them...and make it happen..She went an unconventional route...takes some strength and if she finds support with others, then she is doing the best she can....So sorry men, its a provocative subject and useful to enlighten all of us in understanding life is sometimes messy!! Deal with it! :) As far as some women..please, we know you wouldn't even get in that situation! Good....but this woman has the right to raise her children in a protective safe environment! I say go girl! | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:51:43 AM |
Until men start being the vessel to reproduce a child inside their womb, I think they have no idea what decisions are to be made for the fate of those children. (Guy left in the story)
Seriously?.....yikes!!!
I hope you are just coming off a little jaded and don't really feel this way about fatherhood.
As a father myself I find comments like these very offensive. No, I have no idea what it's like to have a child inside me nor will I ever. But to assume that fathers love or would do any less for their children because of biology is just plain wrong. There is nothing, and I do mean nothing I wouldn't do in a heartbeat to protect my daughter. Whether that means stealing, killing, jumping in front of a bus, or taking a bullet I wouldn't even have to think about it. Nothing short of death would ever stop me from doing whatever it takes to keep her safe. | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:59:49 AM | | Nope, just referting to the story where mom needs to make decisions!! Putting a perspective on how men view women...some state they would never date her now!! hmmmmmmm.....Not jaded at all...Fatherhood has no bearing on my point...not even close. This man walked away ...keeping on point as to not confuse the topic. Hope that is not offensive. | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 8:37:49 AM | Hey, sorry irisheyes, I didn't mean to bite your head off...
...some state they would never date her now!!
I can't speak for other guys, but my reasons for not wanting a relationship with particular woman have nothing to do with her being a stripper. It's more the fact that she took the easy way rather than deal with a little struggling as most women do. That just seems like a warning sign to me. | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 8:57:00 AM |
On the other hand, isn't it just the slightest bit "hypocritical" to be on a dating site talking about how cool it is for women to sell their nudity, when you have "prefer not to say" under your own body type and the usual "headshot" instead of putting your money where your mouth is? First of all, I never said it was ’cool’, I simply see nothing wrong with it… whereas you are sitting on your pedestal pointing the finger of condemnation at women that strip for a living. Someone that thinks their chosen career defines them as better than another is in a class of arrogance that is beyond laughable…
As for my profile… it also states that I’m Not Single/Not Looking, and regardless of whether my ass is fat or athletic… I’m not going to be spreading my legs for a photographer and posting the picture on the internet to try and land me a man… 
Blue..
and yours is???????????......I guess maybe yours is white......(as so many of your opening posts are) You’ve lost me on that one… just say no to drugs. 
I think true triumph would include rising out of the ashes through only honorable endeavors. If the cost of triumphing is essentially beg, borrow or steal...then there is no true triumph. Who says being a stripper isn’t honourable? It’s not begging, borrowing or stealing… its working to make a living… perfectly acceptable from where I stand.
It's more the fact that she took the easy way rather than deal with a little struggling as most women do. Easy way out? You’re kidding right? Dealing with all those men with one hand on their crotch and the other reaching for you is easy?
Any woman that works in the bar industry has experienced men turning them into sex objects… and it takes a good balance of continuing to flirt while holding the guy at arm’s length to ensure that he keeps tipping and doesn’t become insulted when at the end of the shift, us gals leave alone…
My life is far easier now than it was when I was bartending… I might have some of the clients calling me sweetie and other endearments, but they aren’t groping for a feel when I’m reaching over their table to grab the empty glass or bottle… | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 9:48:50 AM |
No drugs...and it says so in my profile...
Look back at your last few Opening Threads...and your sky is white or a variant of it...I suppose you thought you were ....funny...most of us didn't. Tasteless. Exactly what does this have to do with the current topic at hand?
Dayum... I heard that there was an age when menopause removed both logic and humour from a person... I just didn't believe it til now... | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 10:04:30 AM |
Easy way out? You’re kidding right? Dealing with all those men with one hand on their crotch and the other reaching for you is easy?
Compared to using your brain to make something of yourself? Yes.
Any woman that works in the bar industry has experienced men turning them into sex objects… and it takes a good balance of continuing to flirt while holding the guy at arm’s length to ensure that he keeps tipping and doesn’t become insulted when at the end of the shift, us gals leave alone…
In other words, it's a lot of work manipulating men out of their money on a regular basis.
Look, I completely understand how difficult it must be to strike such a balance when manipulating men and I actually respect the "dance" women in the industry perform. But many men understandably don't want a relationship with someone who's made a killing manipulating men.
Also, I would add that men can't turn women into sex objects unless the woman allows them to. At bars and clubs it is the women who are flirting for cash that are the sex objects, not the bartender that just smiles politely and brings you a drink. | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 10:05:12 AM |
First of all, I never said it was ’cool’, I simply see nothing wrong with it…
Well your rather limited vision is YOUR problem now isn't it? There are many good reasons why a rather sizable majority of women don't strip for a living and why you never hear young girls say, "when I grow up, I wanna be a stripper". If you need to turn a blind eye to all those very good reasons at your age, I'll just respect your right to make that choice. And if I choose to acknowledge all of those very good reasons, then you can obviously respect my choice... right?
whereas you are sitting on your pedestal pointing the finger of condemnation at women that strip for a living. Someone that thinks their chosen career defines them as better than another is in a class of arrogance that is beyond laughable…
You have "chosen" to see me as "pointing a finger of condemnation at women who strip for a living" and gone on to state that I think my chosen career makes me better than those who strip. You could not be more WRONG! If anything, I have a great deal of empathy for women who are willing to sell their self-respect down the river and if I had it within my power to teach young women that they are so much more than mere sex objects, that is precisely what I would be doing. For you to presume to know how I truly feel about anything is for YOU to be laughably arrogant (which I think your posting history will bear out!)
As for my profile… it also states that I’m Not Single/Not Looking, and regardless of whether my ass is fat or athletic… I’m not going to be spreading my legs for a photographer and posting the picture on the internet to try and land me a man…
Since you seem entirely fixated on the picture in my profile where I am sitting "country style", I guess I'd better address that too! Perhaps if you had spent some time in the country, you would realize that most farm people pull up a chair to visit in a way that allows them to lean their elbows on the back of it. I am wearing a long dress and yes, no one could mistake me for a boy but at least I am fully dressed. I make no apologies for being on a dating site and hoping to find a special someone to share the rest of my life with...
At least I am not on a dating site while I am in a relationship, cruising the forums to deliberately be an a$$hole with people and posting threads asking men to climax on my face in order to make my weekends with them complete...  | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 1:48:41 PM | Gee, some people really hate strippers, don't they? Just the word sends them into some sort of frenzied state..
At the end of the day, the OP's friend saw her children fed, sheltered and educated safely and well (I presume). Who the HELL are we to judge how she did it?
The OP's friend had a choice and she made it. She didn't sell her body - taking your clothes off is hardly prostitution. She did it for enough time to get herself out of financial chit and then got out. She used the system to her advantage without it affecting her or her family.
I say, good on her.
In her position - without any other choices save working long hours away from my children for less money than it took to support them - I would have done the same.
As for whether a man would date me because of it: Who cares? My children would be well-looked after, and that is all that would count with me. | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 2:42:29 PM | Ahhh...yes....
It's always the idealistic vs the realistic.
Pretty Woman glamourized prostitution. Real prostitution and it's world is different from what Hollywood was portraying it as.
Stripping? In the real world, it is an ugly business. To be good and earn your dollars you have to simulate a sexual act onstage....that is the norm now. Just revealing skin and doing a sexy little dance is passe..... men can sit on their computers and look at anything...So..as I said before......you are selling sex.....for money. How much more realistic do you want this?
One of my oldest friends had her daughter go into this when she was barely eighteen. She had a hot body, was wilful, loved sex, and wanted easy money. She made some very good cash and had beautiful things.
Today, 16 years later...the daughter is strung out on heroin,meth..anything she can get her hands on. She takes any guy for any money...anywhere. She has been taken in for lewd acts on the street. She has had FOUR children who have been taken from her permanently...and she looks at life with hard eyes.
I have listened to her story and how it really is. She said that in her last stripper job she was required to make herself come using certain sex aids that don't exist even in sex shops. If that isn't sexual...what is?
Only a rare and careful person who has their eyes wide open can go into this life and use it to further themselves. Usually it has it's price. | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 3:12:13 PM | Every job has its price. You think being nice to a boss you don't like, working overtime for no pay, dealing with the general public - doesn't have a price?
Simulating isn't the same as doing...
And if anyone can't see that psssst's threads are SOMETIMES just for laughs, they are taking everything here far too seriously, including themselves.
You seem to have a friend to quote on every situation that arises here, daisypetals. It's just incredible - I'm amazed at the diversity of life surrounding you. | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 3:56:32 PM |
She got pregnant with a guy who she did not know very long and he stole her money and other assets. I think that's unfortunate, but as someone else in the thread has pointed out, people don't suddenly become thieves and unreliable and untrustworthy out of the blue.
First of all, I have had people I knew for 20 years who I thought were wonderful human beings do a 180 so no, it does not necessarily follow that the woman in the story ignored a gazillion red flags. Some people do not exhibit their real character untl there is actually a problem and it sounds like both the people that donated DNA to those kids before the pregnancy were employed and moderately successful in their work.
Another thing is the cleaning out of money. This woman was prudent with the exception of who she trusted and many, many of us have erred in that department. So she has nothing, she has twins she is supporting alone and then loses her job. She did this short term, got on her feet and is an office manager. For all we know, she danced at night, beat the pavement during the day, socked some money away and as soon as she was able, got a "respectable job."
Now, I am assuming that the woman was not hooking in addition to dancing and it really cracks me up that many of the people in this thread gave it away how many times when they were drunk or otherwise just in it for the lay and they judge someone that in all actuality could have had meaningless sex maybe even never.
The only person that has to live with this woman's choices is herself. If her children some day learn what she did to keep a roof over their heads I hope their mother tells them that she would have preferred another choice but did what she felt she had to at the time and that the children are compassionate enough to see that their mother's actions came from love and not judge her as so many people on this thread have.
Posing for Playboy has become almost passe in terms of omg factor and I imagine that people see more in those pages than they are able to glimpse of most strippers.
Since you seem entirely fixated on the picture in my profile where I am sitting "country style", I guess I'd better address that too! Perhaps if you had spent some time in the country, you would realize that most farm people pull up a chair to visit in a way that allows them to lean their elbows on the back of it. I am wearing a long dress and yes, no one could mistake me for a boy but at least I am fully dressed.
I ordinarily have great respect for what you say but that is perhaps the lamest rationalization I have ever heard. If this is the country way of saying hello, take your office chair and that outfit and sit in the same pose with all of the neighbors at the next picnic. I'm thinking no, because that experience would be mortifying. Perhaps one of these women that is so horrible has had the same feeling when their leg was wrapped around a pole instead of a chair and the only thing that got them through the night was thinking about going home to their kids who were sleeping in safe beds being watched over while their mother was working. | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 4:02:09 PM | Yes...isn't it? Want to hear more?
I also have lots of friends who tell me OTHER things that I should know about....and ....I do find out. There are vicious women out there who don't like what I say...and e-mail each other making up lies about me......isn't that so, FF??
Now...we can go back on topic with our respective female opinions... | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 4:39:49 PM |
You lost me on that one.
She lost me too, Psssst. I *think*, with the reference to your sky being white, that she believes you to be angelic? 
Stripping? In the real world, it is an ugly business.
No more so than other businesses in the world. There’s a good, bad, and the ugly in just about every business.
To be good and earn your dollars you have to simulate a sexual act onstage....that is the norm now. Just revealing skin and doing a sexy little dance is passe..... men can sit on their computers and look at anything...So..as I said before......you are selling sex.....for money. How much more realistic do you want this?
Any selling of “sex” in a strip joint is illegal (in just about any place I can think of) except perhaps, Nevada. Strip joints are heavily regulated. Bar owners will not risk their liquor license to let girls turn “tricks”.
One of my oldest friends had her daughter go into this when she was barely eighteen. She had a hot body, was wilful, loved sex, and wanted easy money. She made some very good cash and had beautiful things.
Today, 16 years later...the daughter is strung out on heroin,meth..anything she can get her hands on. She takes any guy for any money...anywhere. She has been taken in for lewd acts on the street. She has had FOUR children who have been taken from her permanently...and she looks at life with hard eyes.
I have listened to her story and how it really is.
Much like the OPost, your story could have read like it does, if she had been a secretary instead of a stripper.
Only a rare and careful person who has their eyes wide open can go into this life and use it to further themselves.
Hardly. Some only do it for a couple of years and decide that they’ve had enough. I know more than one woman who did it and met her future husband that way.
Do you think all those Playboy bunnies don’t ever end up getting married and having 2.3 kids and white picket fence worlds? Do you think that all they ever did was get photographed naked? Do you not know that a lot of them strip as well? | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 5:33:52 PM | Also, I would add that men can't turn women into sex objects unless the woman allows them to. At bars and clubs it is the women who are flirting for cash that are the sex objects, not the bartender that just smiles politely and brings you a drink.
You just haven't met the right bartenders, sounds like! ;)
So much holier-than-thou judgement on this thread, I feel vaguely faint 
Stripping, Hollywood, fashion, music, hospitality, advertising - Looks are currency. Some people are blessed with looks, some with athletic prowess, some with exceptional brains (or combinations thereof.) A wise person identifies their strengths and leverages them.
All this "stripping was a bad choice because it didn't take enough effort for her" stuff is rediculous, even if it truly was easy. Oppose it on ethical grounds, fair enough - But because someone made easy money? That's just petty. | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 5:46:00 PM | I ordinarily have great respect for what you say but that is perhaps the lamest rationalization I have ever heard. If this is the country way of saying hello, take your office chair and that outfit and sit in the same pose with all of the neighbors at the next picnic.
Well.. I normally have respect for what you say and for the vast amount of time you spend saying it in these forums but hey, if you want to talk "rationalizations" take a look at the twists and turns of the many thought processes here that are trying to make stripping just peachy keen while you contemporaneously rail about a picture of a woman sitting on a backwards chair fully dressed! You're showing more bare skin in the picture you have with your shorts on for crissakes!
It seems to suit the purposes of a few of you to pretend that this woman just had absolutely no other way to get herself out of the jam she was left in other than to go stripping but guess what? It's the year 2009 and women are actually allowed to get educations, have regular jobs and earn money to support themselves and their children with. From what I understand of the OP's story, this woman didn't strip to support her children but rather, to get up a deposit on a house in the shortest time possible. When I read the story, I can think of a lot of options that are available to a single mom if she is truly acting in her children's "best interests" that don't include stripping. I doubt that it is news to you that countless numbers of women get left holding the friggin' bag and many of them simply go to work and "manage" or go back to school instead of selling their integrity into the seamy side of the sex trade. That's why we have such things as social assistance and courtrooms.
I also notice how some of you are accusing people of actually "hating" strippers. I guess it works for you to put a misleading slant on what has been said here but let it be understood that I don't "hate" anyone. If anything... If ANYTHING, I think I have a lot more regard for my "sisters" and a great deal more concern for the unnecessary loss of their self-respect than you could EVER claim... I don't think any woman should be reduced to crawling around naked on all fours for men to throw money at but if you think that's okay, then run with it. | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 5:50:22 PM | Sweet...If idealism is your mantra...go for it. You are allowed your opinion...
Just that the overworked child services dept., special victims police, overworked court system, the drug agencies, and agencies who work with women in trouble have a different story of the world of strippers than yours.
A realistic look. Sex for sale is a contributing link to major crime. Period. Stats can confirm that.
Would I proudly tell my children that I provided a house for them by selling drugs? I had to do something!!!! ....wah..wah...
As for doing the same thing with a boss?
Uh, Uh...losing your argument and sleazy at best if you even think that women who use their brains and not use sex for monetary gain are in the same ballpark.
Was Pretty Woman a favourite movie of yours? | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 6:12:23 PM |
I am laying odds that by 10:00 pm CST this thread is deleted.
Who's in?
I'll take that bet 
All this "stripping was a bad choice because it didn't take enough effort for her" stuff is rediculous, even if it truly was easy. Oppose it on ethical grounds, fair enough - But because someone made easy money? That's just petty.
LOL, I'm not opposed to stripping cause women make lots of easy money. In fact I'm not opposed to stripping at all. All I'm saying is I wouldn't seek out a relationship with a woman like this cause people who look for the easy way out tend to bolt at the first sign of trouble when it comes to relationships. | |
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 6:36:44 PM | Ooooooooooooo....pis*sy, are we?
Gotta love them real cowboys! Lucky BC women!
Anyway...there are great opportunities for women to better themselves when hardship exists. I know...I have been there.
I just have a great sense of accomplishment and I did it without having to contribute to the sleazy side of life.
But then...that's me. Why bite my ass for my opinion? Reverse hypocrisy is ALIVE and WELL!
My uncle died for his country years ago so we'd have the priviledge of free speech and free opinion. Allow that freedom, please.
Edit: And then there are the people stirring the pot..hoping the flames will get higher...
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| triumphing despite the odds...would the means affect you having a relationship?
Posted: 5/10/2009 6:42:17 PM |
You guys slay me... sitting in your world where everything that spews out of your mouth has to be gold simply because you've formed the words...
Give me the stripper anyday over the holier than thou egomaniacs that can't comprehend the difference between a legal activity and something illegal...
As for 10:00pm MizBex... nah... hopefully this thread remains so that the hypocrasy spouted by the morale ladies of this site isn't lost to unsuspecting men...
PSSST, you know as well as I do hypocrasy, double standards and justification run rampant in these forums. Lord, the things I have seen written here while all the time justifying their own indiscretions. I shake my head at what high esteem some people hold themselves in, while passing judgement on others, simply boggles the mind.
If you we go to midnight I'll buy the wine, but you can bet someone here is going to completely loose their $hit way before the witching hour and poof the thread will be gone. Just sayin'...you gotta love the pond. | |
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