| I think I scared him off
Posted: 5/13/2009 3:43:06 PM | Did you scare him off? Only you and/or him can truly answer that.
I just don't think I would tell a man after only 4 dates that I plan to be exclusive to him...people are sometimes fickle and the way things work these days is far different than when I was younger.
Just try and slow down a bit and let things happen as they will ~ fate will give you your answer in time. | |
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| I think I scared him off
Posted: 5/13/2009 8:16:36 PM | No, you didn't scare him off, but he looked up your profile on POF and your screen name sent him running over the horizon with his head on fire...
Now, I'm going to give you some invaluable advice that's worth everything you're going to pay for it....
Always, ALWAYS, pick a Romanized version of an obscure third world dialect that does not translate directly into English for a screen name. | |
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| I think I scared him off
Posted: 5/14/2009 12:27:20 PM | | The screen name is a joke but I might need t o change it................... | |
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| I think I scared him off
Posted: 5/14/2009 12:41:48 PM | I don't think a man should be so easily scared by a wee little question.
But perhaps he's a wuss?
My opinion? 4 dates is too fast to ask a guy if he wants to be exclusive.
4 dates would be too soon for me to want to be exclusive.
And I hate pushy people.
Hate being rushed.
Hate being cornered, shoved, roped, and grabbed.
Pisses me off.
I'd say ask him again what his deal is - but then he'll bolt for damn sure.
So....?????
You're screwed.
No choice but to "wait and see".
Dontcha hate it? | |
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| I think I scared him off
Posted: 5/14/2009 9:18:22 PM | Chances are he is probably scared but that doesn't mean he is not interested it just means that you caught him with one of those phrases that he is thinking you are probably looking for him to say the same. Maybe he is not ready so now you should cool it. You have stated your feelings if you were looking for a response of a similar nature than you must realize that you backed him into a corner. Now he has to think about it instead of letting things take their natural coarse.
If you are fearful than you need to slow down so that your spirit and intellect can catch up with each other.
Don't go blindly into putting all you eggs in his basket until the basket has proven to be worthy of the weight. | |
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| I think I scared him off
Posted: 5/15/2009 5:02:35 PM | Have to agree with some points DeagleNinja made , sounds like you have it all sorted in your head what you want and want him to fit into that without giving him much room to think a) before responsing and b) you "told" him you liked him and want to be exclusive. Telling isnt discussing. You really didnt give him a lot of room to move here did you. Perhaps next time, try 'what do you think about seeing other people?" if this is what is on your mind. Then give him a chance to talk first, and actually listen to what he is saying and reflect on that. Men are funny creatures, I have found the most valuable lesson in trying to understand men is that what a man says, he generally means. The problem can be when we dont want to listen because we dont like the answer . Your best bet is to really listen without trying to overlay what you want on top of that and make him fit. Yes you have to evaluate whether want he wants suits what you want, and make a decision about that, but you cant force it to. I am all for communication and you should be able to discuss things with a guy after 3 months, albiet I agree only meeting once a week for 4 weeks is still early. However, whenever you do want to start communication next time, try openng with a open ended question, before you start telling what you want.
If you are worried you have scared him off, give him some space. Don't force the issue, he will come back after he has some time thinking about what you have just told him. Remember you were thinking about it before you spoke, now give him some time to think. Then you may get a more clearer response
Good luck | |
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